What The Hell Were You Thinking

Episode 509: Shaman Me? Shaman You! This week Host Dave Bledsoe visited the Old Wise Woman at the edge of the village for herbs that would help him experience enlightenment.  (Meaning he bought some weed at an unlicensed dispensary.) Along the way we learn that Dave was scared by an old lesbian when he was a kid.  (Lesbians are nothing to be afraid of!) Then we dive right in by dispelling some myths about the matriarchy.  From there we explore the role of the shaman in pre-history and how they were much more than just some dudes with horned masks and good weed. (A lot of them had shrooms as well!) We discuss how the tribal shaman became the village healer once humanity settled down to an agrarian lifestyle and how important they were in society for over a thousand years.  We wrap up with why they went from a vital part of rural life to demonic sin peddlers.  (Yep, it was capitalism!) Our Sponsor this week is the Herb Hut, don’t cast your spells without us! We open with Christine O’Donnell who wants us to k

Show Notes Episode 284-285 Redux Mega-Mix “The Rendlesham Forest UFO Incident” We are off this week prepping for Spooktacular 2025 so enjoy this double episode megamix from 2020 about that time in the 80s some Air Force cops lied about seeing a UFO to cover their asses after getting caught fucking around on post. Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense The Show on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/whatthehellpodcast.bsky.social The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/ The Show on Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjxP5ywpZ-O7qu_MFkLXQUQ The Show on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/whatthehellwereyouthinkingpod/ Our Discord Server: https://discord.gg/kHmmrjptrq Our Website: https://www.whatthehellpodcast.com Patreon:  https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast The Show Line: 347 687 9601 Closing Music: https://youtu.be/H2OgKpcvMYw?si=69jc_XHyoJSCqVD1 Buy Our Stuff: https://www.seltzerkings.com/shop Citations Needed:  Rendlesham Forest Incident https:

Show Notes Episode 508: “John’s Detachable Penis” This week Host Dave Bledsoe woke up screaming after a bender to find a red mess and half a weiner on his lap, only to discover he passed out while eating a hot dog. (What kind of monster puts ketchup on a hot dog?) On the show this week we discuss a similar situation that ended much worse, we talk about John Bobbitt’s detached penis and why Americans thought it was funny! Along the way we discover all the ways Dave has been a disappointment to the women in his life. (Starting with his Mom) Then we dive right in clarifying the difference between regular old castration and emasculation. (Never say we don’t tackle the hard topics!) Then we met John and Lorena, a couple of kids, who met, fell in love and discovered that was a really BAD idea.  After delicately weaving around some fairly gruesome subjects we arrive at why Americans thought a dude’s dong landing in a 7-11 parking lot was so funny. (We are terrible people) Then we wrap up with something that might

Spooktacular 2025 kicks off in October! All month long we talk about Witches! The good ones, the bad ones, the ones who dress all sexy and drive Dave wild! So join us for a month of MORE WITCHES than you could imagine for Spooktacular 2025! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Show Notes Episode 507; Tito Get Me Some Tissue This week Host Dave Bledsoe passed out at a petting zoo and woke up making out with a llama.  (It was the closest he came to getting laid in years.) On the show this week take a look at the oddities and eccentricities of the King of Pop .  (Yes, we DO talk about THAT, but we do not make any jokes.) Along the way we discover that Dave was not the most bullied kid in school. (Only because of that one kid that ate other people’s boogers.) Then we dive into a short history of musicians behaving badly from Mozart's poop poems to Jerry Lee Lewis trying to kill Elvis.  Then we pick up with Michael as his career cools off and people start to notice how weird he is. (Like who wears one glove?) We follow along as Mike collects animal\ friends, builds an amusement park, turns white and gets a new nose every two years. (We guess he was leasing?) Then we discuss his dating, his marriage, and finally that other thing he allegedly did. (But probably definitely did) Before we

Episode 506: Shamone Now This week Host Dave Bledsoe won third prize in a “Moonwalking” competition when he lost his balance trying to get up to take a piss and stumbled backward across the stage. (It was a $10 Gift Certificate to Hardees) On the show this week it is part one of a two part show about the biggest pop star of the 80s, Michael Bolton. (We kid, we are talking about Michael Jackson!) Along the way we find out that Dave once thought he was gay because he accidentally liked Michael Jackson’s music. (He had a very sheltered childhood) Then we dive into a brief history of Motown for script reasons before, and speaking of sheltered childhoods, we meet the Jacksons.  (All dozen of them) We follow the rise of young Michael from his childhood parental abuse to the pinnacle of cultural dominance before the age of 30 years old. (Can’t imagine why Mike turned out the way he did). We talk about this music, the videos, the cultural impact and the world fell in love with him.  We do NOT talk about the weird s

Show Notes Episode 505: Thanks For Your Support This week Host Dave Bledsoe tried to impress an age appropriate woman by telling her he was in a wine cooler commercial, only to have his feelings hurt when she asked if played Bartles or Jaymes. (Ouch!) On the show this week we look back at that time when America was crazy about low rent Sangria in a bottle, only they called it a wine cooler. Along the way we discover that Dave lost his virginity much later in life. (Probably in his late 40s) Then we take a look at why Americans started worrying about their fitness (Boomers turned 30) and how advertisers used it to make money. (By selling them alcoholic fruit juice.) Then we meet the man who “invented” the wine cooler and ask the hard questions. (What does Lodi California have to do with “fun beach drinks”?) We met the two men who personified the wine cooler industry in the 80s and their direct connection to the election of Ronald Reagan. (He is EVERYWHERE) Finally, we learn why no one drinks wine coolers any

Show Notes Episode 504: We Will Always Have Paris This week Host Dave Bledsoe gate crashed a celebrity event by carrying a camera and claiming he was “with the media” just to get access to the open bar. (The only photo taken was his mugshot. Again.) On the show this week we pick up with Chuck and Diane after their fairy tale wedding and following it to its tragic conclusion of Chuck wishing he were a tampon. Along the way we discover why Dave never had any children. (He doesn’t like them and women don’t like him.) Then we dive right into why Chuck chose the crown over love because of his great uncle Eddie. From there we learn how neither of our two love birds really tried all THAT hard to make it work. (A lot easier to have affairs.) We see their marriage through to the bitter end and then we discuss Diana’s bitter end in a Paris tunnel.  Do we talk about how the Queen and MI6 are responsible? Of COURSE we do! Our Sponsor this week is The Firm, you can check out any time you like but only WE say when you c

Show Notes Episode 503: Little Ditty About Chuck and Diane This week Host Dave Bledsoe found himself officiating a wedding for complete strangers after he showed up drunk dressed as fat Elvis.  (This happens more than you might imagine.) On the show this week we head back to 1981 for the Wedding that captured America’s heart, Luke and Laura! (Kidding, we mean Charles and Diana!) Along the way we discover why Dave never married but performed the wedding of so many people.  (Two Words: Open Bar) Then we dive right in with the history of the House of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha. (You know them better as the Windsors, the Royal Family of the UK.) Then we move along to a young man who only wanted to ride his Polo Ponies, pretend to be in the Royal Navy and bang this hot chick named Camilla. (She was pretty tasty back in the day!) Later, we learn how his granny made him marry a kindergarten teacher way younger than he was! From there we follow along as the whole world falls in love with the two in a way that Lady Diana

Summer Series is over, and we have a lot empty spaces to fill before Spooktacular in October. So naturally, Dave is nowhere to be found. (If you see him an Upstate dive bar, please call us!) So we are giving you this redux/megamix of two episodes from 2024 about Heaven's Gate. If you haven't heard it, it's new to you! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Show Notes Episode 502: Way Down In Kosovo Part 4 of Summer Series 2025 This week Host Dave Bledsoe was savagely ejected from a bar in the Little Serbia neighborhood of Queens when he ordered a Belgrade Car Bomb. (Yes, there is a Little Serbia in Ridgewood Queens) On the show this week we finished up the Summer Series with that time the United States bombed the Balkans because the President couldn’t keep his dick in his pants. We talk about 1999’s Operation Allied Force in Kosovo. Along the way we hear about yet another time Dave almost got kicked out of the military but didn’t. (It’s like they never should have let him in!) Then discover why the Balkans is such a trouble spot in Europe. (Colonialism, but in this case, Roman Empire colonialism.) Then we dive right into post World War Two Yugoslavia. (Do we mention the car, you know that we do!) and how this created a lot of people in a small area who all hated each other's guts.  When the Berlin Wall dropped, followed by the dropping of Bill Clinton’s trou

Show Notes Episode 501: Operation Just Because Pt 3 of Summer Series 2025 This week host Dave Bledsoe drunkenly demands someone liberate him from the tyranny of paying for his own drinks only to find the pee of liberty can only be watered with cash from drunk podcasters. (Again) On the show this week Summer Series 2025 continues with the Most Expensive Drug Raid in History, the US invasion of Panama in 1989. Along the way we learn why Dave never made it to the military major leagues (he was fat, drunk, slacker). Then we dive into a brief history of Panama, from Spanish Empire’s dream of the shortcut to the Pacific, to the French dream of a short cut to the Pacific to the Americans saying fucking, we’ll dig our way to the Pacific. (and kill a bunch of people doing so!) Then we meet Manuel Antonio Noriega, Panamanian military officer, CIA asset and drug kingpin and how finally stopped being useful to the CIA. (Reagan left office) Then we learn how George HW Bush got sick of Manny’s shit and launched a legall

Show Notes Episode 500(!): Who's Afraid of Grenada? Part 2 of Summer Series 2025 This week Host Dave Bledsoe dressed up in his old Air Force dress uniform and staggered into a bar insisting he was there to “liberate” the Jameson. (His invasion was repulsed by an annoyed bouncer) On the show this week part two of Summer Series 2025 “You Can Have A Little War, As A Treat” continues with 1983’s Invasion of Grenada. Along the way we discover that Dave may have covered up a brutal murder in the late 1980’s. (Admittedly, the victim was a swan.) Then we dive right into the history of the tiny island nation of Grenada, from its discovery by Columbus, to colonization by the French and the British. From there we discuss how the long claws of Communism grabbed the peaceful island via the construction of an airport. (That was actually paid for by the United Kingdom.) Then we learn why Ronald Reagan sent thousands of US Troops to “rescue” some perfectly safe medical students. (Hint: It was politically expedient.) Our

Show Notes Episode 499.5: “Was It Something We Said?” Part 1 of Summer Series 2025 This week Host Dave Bledsoe attempts to convince the other barflies to stage a coup against the bartender and take over the bar for themselves. (Turns out three old drunks against one bartender lose every time.) On the show this week we kick off Summer Series 2025 “You Can Have A LIttle War, As A Treat” with the prelude of all the little wars, the Iran Hostage Crisis. Along the way we discover that Dave is not one to hold a grudge. (A lot of time he can’t remember why he was even mad, mostly because he blacked out. Again.) Then we dive into the long history of Iran, from the Persian Empire to the Islamic Republic.  We discover that Iranians have some pretty good reasons for not liking America. (Sorry about that coup thing) Then we dip into how a deposed king dying of cancer led to Ronald Reagan getting elected and four decades of increasingly bad relations with Iran.  FInally we draw a tenuous connection between Iran and the

This week Host Dave Bledsoe was overcome with patriotism he was unable to work. (We couldn't figure out what shitty bar he was hiding in, again) So in honor of what is probably our nation's last birthday, we give you a rerun megamix about Desert Storm. The last time American really felt good about itself. We are back next with Summer Series 2025 kicking off, so stay tuned! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What the HELL Were You Thinking covers all the Little Wars, so convenient to make a politician LOOK good without killing too many Americans! Join us as we go from the Iran Hostage Crisis all the way to the Balkans as three Presidents wagged the dog for their ratings! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Show Notes Episode 499: State of the Podcast Podcast This week Dave sobered, took a look around and discovered what he had been doing for the past decade. (He did NOT like what he discovered) So, on the show we took a brief moment to talk about ten years and way more than 500 episodes of the podcast. Along the way we learned we could have been spared all of this if Dave had just stuck to the plan.  (SIX episodes and OUT!) Then we dive into the nitty gritty of what it took to make ten years of the show. (Never before has so much been written to be heard by so few people) Then we learn where the show is going in the next ten years.  (Rehab, it needs to be rehab!) Then we premiered the trailer for Summer Series 2025!  Our Sponsor this week is The People Behind the Show, we open with a Podcast Boom and Close with the Chubby Blue Line, because why not?  Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense The Show on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/whatthehellpodcast.bsky.social The Show on Facebook: https://www

Show Notes Episode 498: “Is It Safe To Go Back In The Water?” This week Host Dave Bledsoe got drunk and kicked out of the New York Aquarium for shouting “I AM NOT AFRAID OF YOU” at the shark tank. (Again.) On the show this week we talk about the movie that changed how Americans went to the movies and how they went to the beach! We talk about Jaws on its 50th Anniversary! Along the way Dave explains how childhood trauma made him the man he is today. (Drunk and afraid of sharks) Then we “dive” into why the Jersey Shore is a thing for people and sharks.  From there we dig into the story of the movie (Not the plot we all know it) and how it shaped popular culture.  From how movies were made and watched to how fear of sharks made people go out and kill sharks. (Rude!) We explain why a tasteless gluey soup killed more sharks than Roy Scheider could ever dream of.  Finally we examine the movie’s role in gender dynamics and male friendships. (Trust us, it is funnier than it sounds!) Our Sponsor this week is Sean t

Show Notes Episode 497:Come As You Are This week Host Dave Bledsoe was asked by a trendy New Yorker where he thrifted all those “awesome vintage clothes” and told them WalMart in 1997. (Clearly a lie, like he could fit in the size he wore in 1997!) On the show this week we examine the music and style that came to define Generation X: Grunge. Along the way we discover that Dave has always had terrible taste in music. (He has a Phil Collins poster above his bed!) Then we take a look at the history of the city that became synonymous with Tossed Salad and Scrambled Eggs. (And also Grunge) We move on to the story about the Zine that launched the label that launched a scene, Sub Pop.  We meet the band that launched the Seattle Sound into the mainstream and how everyone imitating that band had an entire generation dressed like an unemployed lumberjack.  (So much flannel) Finally we learn how Grunge was far more short lived than most people remember. Our Sponsor this week is  Frank’s Second Hand Flannel, because n

Show Notes Episode 496: It’s Not Tv, It’s The Green Channel This week Host Dave Bledsoe got hammered and spent four hours trying to explain to a bartender how you could see boobs in TV  static when he was a kid. (Again.) On the show this week we take a look at how boobs and sports changed television forever, we talk about the birth of HBO! Along the way we learn that Dave’’s grandparents were too poor to afford more than one television station. (We think?) Then we dive into the history of paying to watch something you can get over the air for free. (Yay Capitalism!) Then we meet a man with a dream, a dream to get people to pay to watch television! We follow his struggling launch of HBO in Wilkes Barre PA. (Scranton was too good for it!) Then we explain how cursing, bare breasts and boxing created a channel that would go on to change how Americans watched and thought about television.  (For the good, for a change!) Our Sponsor this week is Bulg Box, it’s like Brit Box but for Bulgarian television! We open t