What The Hell Were You Thinking

Look I don’t know any other way to say this, but it isn’t the total number of people being murdered, it’s how they are being murdered and with what. I mean people go to see and an Amy Schumer movies should NOT be worried about some whack job walking in and shooting up the goddamn theater! People shouldn’t be gunned down in a prayer meeting because some simple fucking redneck didn’t like black people. Recruiters should not need to die in a fucking strip mall because some jackoff with a god hard on thinks the answer to his loser life is killing a Marine, but lacks to the balls to face one in combat. OR FIRST GRADERS IN THEIR GOD DAMN CLASS ROOM!!!! HOW WAS THIS NOT THE ONE THAT GOT US TO DO SOMETHING?? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

nd there is the flaw in modern media structures, if everything and everyone are fair game for the news then where is the difference between “news” and talking shit about someone? If there were a real traffic cop over at Gawker, you know a senior person with years of experience as journalist, an understanding of ethics and the wisdom to look at a turd and call it a turd rather than a controversial take on the issue, this story would’ve been flushed leaving only a lingering smell. Instead, everyone at Gawker and most modern media, EVERYONE is an editor, a staff writer is basically an intern and the publisher is usually a company that makes hard drives in Malaysia. Nick Denton at Gawker at least is committed to the idea of journalism as he sees it, but so is Roger Ailes so there you go. The day of Editor in Chief is as outdated as the idea of a independent sourcing and not having you anchors be total fucking idiots--Don Lemon, do I need to say more? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoi

But jury duty, that is the worst of the worst, or so I’ve been told. I mean I’ve seen the poor bastards trapped in their box, drool forming in the corners of their mouth, eyes glazed and expression blank as they try to keep awake through hours of lawyers arguing infinitesimally small details in arcane languages none of which are relevant to reality---it’s lot like listening to anyone talk about argue fantasy sports! Only, somehow, even MORE boring! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ham Hair has maintained that look of smug, self satisfied egomania that only someone running for political office who has no intention of winning can do while saying the most horrible things CAN possess. What he said about Mexican Immigrants, though he would predicate that he meant ILLEGAL immigrants, is what a some of the rabid, redneck racists that comprise the GOP, though, some of you I assume are good people, THINK about Mexicans, Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This weeks show looks at why people are still clinging to the Confederate Flag and laments the loss of that Southern Cultural Icon, the Dukes of Hazzard. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello and welcome to the podcast that asks a simple question: When you said you would set yourself on fire if gay marriage became legal, and didn’t what the HELL were you thinking? This is the Saturday June 27th 2015 “You Mad Bro?” edition of the picking apart the highly entertaining reactions to the Supreme Court’s landmark ruling on gay marriage. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Meanwhile back on Planet Earth, the only thing that has changed is people who were once deprived of their rights are no longer. Today is a day when freedom grew, and that is day everyone should celebrate. I assure you, in the REAL world, your hetero marriage is just as good and strong or bad and weak as it was 24 hours ago. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is there EVER a situation so bad, so fucked up, that a comment from some jack off in the NRA can’t make it infinitely worse? It doesn’t matter how high the body count, how horrible the crime, how young the victims, someone will say something so hideous that in a decently run universe we would brick their yap holes shut and shove them off the deck of a fishing boat in the Marianas Trench. Free speech is a double edged sword, I get that, and Charles L Cotton has every RIGHT to say something so profoundly heartless and supremely idiotic, and we should have the right to line up and take turn nut punching him. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do Chris Rock, Jerry Seinfeld and Larry the Cable Guy have in common? Besides being considered long past their sell by date fame wise? They are on a short but notable list of of comedians who eschew performing on college campuses, and not for the reasons you think: namely being too old to have a shot at sleeping with the women at the shows, or even the “Wait, bro, who are these old dudes” effect. No, they are not playing colleges because of political correctness. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Meanwhile the physics labs, the astronomy departments, the tech departments are filled with dude who looked as though they were rejected from a casting call for the Big Bang Theory for being a bit TOO realistic. God, the number of neck beards and fedoras...the horror, the horror. (Don’t even get me started on that show and it’s portrayal of women in science.) They are the few remaining places men can go and be around other men. It makes certain kind of men feel safe, a place where their little fiefdoms will not be challenged by some uppity woman with her crazy ideas about equality and hierarchy of ability rather than nepotism. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

With just 17 months left to go before election day 2016 the Grand Old Party could not be more awash in choices if they were an unsinkable ship who just clipped and iceberg! By the count of the I am certainly highly reputable and thoroughly fact checked 2016 republican candidates dot org, there are no fewer than 31 (as of this recording) Republicans either declared, exploring or flirting like a horny sailor in the Pusan Pussy Palace with running. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I fire up on is the parents and the people who covered this up, the network that promoted this travesty and the politicians who continue to cling to this reprehensible family as though they are the paragons of Christian virtue in a godless world. You know Mike Huckabee just because incest was in the Bible doesn’t make it godly. Let’s unpack this express shipment of shit and see if we can find a pony. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

ou can’t look in the window of a nail salon and not see it. And I have. There is something deeply jarring about seeing Asian women basically kneeling over white women working on their feet that SHOULD strike you as wrong, maybe it is because I’ve BEEN to Asia and seen the inequality built around the culture (admittedly this was a long time ago) but I’ve always had the nagging feeling this was off. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We slackers of the Meh Generation watched Letterman’s departure with sort of grim ennui we see in our lives. Just like our lives, we know Dave got the short of the stick. Saying goodbye to Dave is also like saying goodbye to that last little dab of hope left over from our youth that maybe Dad might buy us that car when we head off to college only to hear he needs the money to pay for braces for Michael and Jessica, and your step-mother really wants to go to Barbados this year, but hey, we are real proud of you champ! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is the Saturday May 16th 2015 edition of the show and we are talking Seymour Hersh’s (onion belt drop) story in the London Review of Books or, as we call it “Time to put grandpa in the home edition”. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This weeks episode talks about Jade Helm 2015, so you probably shouldn't listen if you are from Texas, served in the National Guard, or the Texas State Guard, wear a cowboy hat, like high school football, or you are Chuck Norris... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

thing going for us when it comes to talking about race in the America and that word is naive. Some people actually believe we live in a post racial America. What is a post racial America? Did we all wake up the same shade of blue this morning, are we all Smurfs? And trust me, even if we DID, someone is still going to be a racist because Joze Smurf doesn’t Smurf with the smurfiness as Leopold Smurfington the Third, whose family came over on the Smurf Flower. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is the Friday, April 24th 2015 edition of the show, and we will be talking the Outside of Amy Schumer and why some idiots think it is related to her comedy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this local edition of the podcast, we examine how NYC relates to the subway and why it is like an uncle who molests us. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"What the Hell Were You Thinking?" for Friday April 17th 2015 asks are we sure if we want an unopposed candidate, is 2.5 billion dollars really enough for an election and can we have Uncle Joe be her Veep for 8 more years of great Onion stories. Into music by Hypnostate, you can find their work on Jamendo,com, drops from Dennis Quaid's angry rants, The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt and of course The Onion. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices