What The Hell Were You Thinking

Show Notes Episode 434: Johnny Come Lately Part Two of “Late Nite with Dave Bledsoe This week Host Dave Bledsoe gets banned from the Bronx Zoo after being found drunkenly screaming and throwing his own feces at a monkey who “will never work in show business again!”. (Just another Tuesday for Dave) On the show this week we tell you about the King of Late Night, that guy who made those Girls Gone Wild Tapes.  (Kidding, we mean Johnny Carson!) Along the way we discover that the real radio talent in Dave’s family is with his sister and she should be the one with a podcast. (Honestly, this could be said for all the members of his family.) Then we dive right into the early history of a kid from the Midwest who had a dream, he would be on the radio! He chased the dream and became one of the influential people in Hollywood. (We still believe Ed McMahon is the power behind the throne.) After we spend some time on hagiography, we finally get around to dealing with the dirt about the REAL Johnny Carson. (Turns out, h

Episode 433: “Waiting for a Paar to Fall”  Part 1 of  Winter Series 2024: “Late Night With Dave Bledsoe” This week Host Dave Bledsoe drunkenly stumbles out of the studio bathroom shouting “Heeeeere's Davey!” with his pants around his ankles as a joke. (Again) On the show this week we kick off our Winter Series for 2024 with the B.C. era of late night TV talk. (Before Carson) Along the way we are forced to listen to an old man wax nostalgic about TV sign-offs from his childhood. (Honestly, we are looking for a home for Dave, a cheap one.) Then we dive right into the history of television talk shows.  We hear about Joe Franklin, the “Ur” Late Night Host who essentially created the format before moving on to NBC’s first incarnation of an iconic show with an iconic host. (Well, TWO iconic hosts actually) and how they created a television show that has been on the air over half a century.  (Before being utterly ruined by Jay Leno.). Our Sponsor this week is Panelist R Us, in a bind because your guest canceled a

Show Notes Episode 432: The Whack Heard Around the World This week Host Dave Bledsoe gets into a drunken row with Fast Eddie because Fast Eddie won’t have one of his guys “do something about his Joe Rogan problem”. (His problem is he liked Joe Rogan on Newsradio and wants to know what happened to that Joe Rogan.) On the show this week we go back thirty years from the week of release to the time a group of bumbling idiots lightly bruised a figure skater’s leg. (morons, all of them) Along the way we learn why you should never play cards with Dave’s Mom. (She regularly won back Dave’s allowance, because Dave sucks at poker!) Then we zip back to 1994 and the world of Olympic Figure Skating and the cut throat (knee bashing) competition to make the US Olympic Team. We meet Nancy and Tonya, two girls from very similar backgrounds with big dreams. Only one of them was married to a moron, and that moron was going to make things very hard for BOTH of them.  (Whatever you think about Tonya, she had horrible taste in

Show Notes Episode 431: This Year Was Trouble When it Walked In 2023 Year In Review Dave wraps up 2023 the same way he started the year, bloodied, drunk and crying behind a bar in Bay Ridge.  (It’s tradition) On the show this week it is our Annual Year in Review when we look back at the year that was and tell you how it went.  (Hint: Not Great) We cull the endless news cycles to bring the stories that truly shaped events in the past year.  (And some stuff about George Santos because we thought it was funny.) To pop a champagne cork, put on a funny hat, blow that paper whistle thing and look back on Two Thousand and Twenty Three! Our Sponsor this week is the Year 2024, who promises this year will be different, baby, if you just give it a chance! We open the show with a prediction that never came true and close with Walk Off Earth who had their suspicions.  Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wh

Show Notes Episode 430: Carl’s Worst Christmas Ever and Other Holiday Tales This week Host Dave Bledsoe tries some amazing eggnog some guy’s brother made with  lighter fluid and starts telling stories. (Again) For our annual “Jesus, is it Christmas already?” episode, we dig into the vaults of Dave’s Brain to bring you lurid tales of Christmas’ gone wrong in every way possible. Be they marital infidelity, public masturbation or a singularly misfortunate ornament mishap, someone is not having a happy holiday. (This is why Dave doesn’t get invited to story hours at the library.) So gather your family around the fire (I mean the adult family, leave kids watching their Youtube or whatever) pour yourselves something from a bottle being passed around and get ready for stories of people having a MUCH worse Christmas than you are! Our sponsor this week is the Holiday Ornament Safety Council who remind you that decorations go on the tree, not inside you.  We open with a heartwarming family gathering and close with Lo

Show Notes Episode 429: The President Called Me A Lard Ass This week Host Dave Bledsoe relives his youthful trauma when some vicious preteens inadvertently call him a long forgotten childhood nickname. (Fat Ass, it was Fat Ass!) On the show this week we take a look back at the annual childhood trauma that was the Presidential Fitness Test. (You will want a box of tissues for this one.) Along the way we discover why Dave never played team sports in school. (See the nickname: Fat Ass!) Then we dive right into the story of how The Depression made the Greatest Generation such sexy bitches.  From there we dig into how Cold War Paranoia led 10 US Presidents to force fat kids to embarass themselves in front of their peers.  (That’s when the wedgies started!) We learn how Eisenhower and Kennedy believed the Baby Boomers were soft and unmanly, so they instituted a quasi military fitness program for grammar school kids.  Dave goes into excruciating detail what it was like to take the President’s Fitness Test as a la

Show Notes Holiday Bonus: Holiest Jolliest Time of the Year Yeah, Dave got drunk for Thanksgiving, forced Gavin to work on the holiday to make a clip show.  Enjoy. Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/ The Show on Youtube:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjxP5ywpZ-O7qu_MFkLXQUQ Our Website: www.whatthehellpodcast.com Give us your money on Patreon  https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast The Show Line: 347 687 9601 Closing Music: https://youtu.be/o6Q2lwzN3K8?si=2RIBcHp_o_hjUp1j We are a proud member of the Seltzer Kings Podcast Network! http://seltzerkings.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Show Notes Episode 428: Black Friday, I’ve Been Shoved This week Host Dave Bledsoe demands 50% off his bar tabs for Black Friday, only to discover Black Eye Friday when the bouncer punches him in the face. (Again.) On the show this week, we prepare you for the Christmas Shopping Season by telling you the True History of Black Friday! Along the way we discover why Dave is afraid to ever step foot in a WalMart again. (He got his ass kicked in the Garden Center like a little bitch! True story!) Then we dive right into the origins of the busy shopping day of the year. (Does it have anything to do with unfettered Capitalism?  You bet your sweet bippy!) From the Panic of 1869 to FDR bumping up the date, we tell you all about the origins and THEN we get to the Old Ultra Violence! (It just wouldn’t be America without unnecessary and excessive violence!) Finally we explain in detail all the ways you are being ripped off by the retailers on Black Friday and why America finally decided to just Stay Home and eat turke

Show Note Episode 427: The Original Party Animal This week Host Dave Bledsoe drunkenly and loudly insists that Spuds MacKenzie wasn’t even Scottish while being physically ejected from a Bottom Brunch in Hell's Kitchen. (Again) On the show this week we head back to 1987 when American kind of wanted to get their freak on with a dog: Spuds MacKenzie. Along the way we learn that Dave grew up with a series of problematically named dogs. (So much bigotry in him!) Then we dive right into our story about a scrappy little brewing company, their quest to make America party again, and maybe make a few billions dollars along the way! We discuss how Budweiser went searching for just the right messaging for their new “light” beer. (And yes, they thought about using boobies to sell beer!) Only to discover the real life of the party was a Bull Terrier named Evie all along! (Spuds was Budweiser’s first gender non-conforming pitch person!) We follow Spuds mania from the beginning on college dorm room walls to the inevitable

Show Notes Episode 426: Interview About the Vampire The Conclusion of Spooktacular 2023 This week Host Dave Bledsoe is joined by Executive Producer Kimberly Steele who is a real person and not at all made up! (He has friends! At least one, anyway.) Together they talk about vampires in pop culture, particularly about Anne Rice’s vampires and then Joss Whedon’s vampires. (We loved him before we knew Joss was the Big Bad all along!) So settle back and spend an hour with a person who knows what they are talking about and Dave, who doesn’t. Finally we close out Spooktacular 2023 in the scariest way we could think of, so stay through the credits for a jump scare that will leave you screaming. We’ll be back on our regular bullshit…NEXT WEEEEEEK! Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/ The Show on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjxP5ywpZ-O7qu_MFkLXQUQ Our Website: www.whatt

Show Notes Episode 425: VH Investigations Part Two Part 4 of Spooktacular 2023 This week Host Dave Bledsoe takes off his podcaster mankini and slips into his fiction writer thong for an original audio short story. (If only it was half as horrifying as the mental image of Dave we just gave you!) VH Investigations is a vampire noir audio short story, written and performed by Dave Bledsoe. This is the second part of a two part series, if you haven’t listened to part one you should probably do that first.  Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/ The Show on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjxP5ywpZ-O7qu_MFkLXQUQ Our Website: www.whatthehellpodcast.com Give us your money on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast The Show Line: 347 687 9601 Show Music: Noches de Insomnio We are a proud member of the Seltzer Kings Podcast Network! http://seltzerkings.com/ Learn m

Show Notes Episode 424: VH Investigations Part One Part 3 of Spooktacular 2023 This week Host Dave Bledsoe takes off his podcaster mankini and slips into his fiction writer thong for an original audio short story. (If only it was half as horrifying as the mental image of Dave we just gave you!) VH Investigations is a vampire noir audio short story, written and performed by Dave Bledsoe. This is the first part of a two part series, part two will arrive in your feed one week after this one.  Show Theme: Hypnostate Prelude to Common Sense The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/ The Show on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjxP5ywpZ-O7qu_MFkLXQUQ Our Website: www.whatthehellpodcast.com Give us your money on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast The Show Line: 347 687 9601 Show Music: Noches de Insomnio We are a proud member of the Seltzer Kings Podcast Network! http://seltzerkings.com/ Learn more about you

Patreon Bonus Spooktacular 2022: We Call Satan to the Witness Stand In this Patreon Exclusive Host Dave Bledsoe attempts to sue himself, the bar, Jameson Whiskey and the Lord God Himself to get out of these bartabs that were clearly THEIR fault! (He couldn’t find a lawyer to take his case, not even if he represented himself) On the bonus we talk about suing The Devil and why it is a bad idea! (All the lawyers are on his retainer) Along the way we learn about Ralph J Forbes from Arkansas, self avowed Nazi, Senate candidate and general pain in the ass and his attempt to sue the Devil. (This guy would have a Trump Rally for him these days!) Then we learn about Gerald Mayo, who sued the Devil for making him such a loser. (The Devil denied any involvement citing never having anything to do with a loser like Mayo) and then wrapped up with a law professor's guide to suing the Devil!  Our Sponsor this week is Agamemnon and Associates Attorneys at Law, when you need a helluva good lawyer, call Agamemnon! We open wi

Show Notes Episode 422: The Vampire of Sacramento Part Two of Spooktacular 2023 “Gavin St James, Vampyre Hunter” This week Host Dave Bledsoe remembered that time when he got drunk in Sacramento and realized Sacramento was a really boring place to get drunk. (Even drunk, Sacramento is really boring) On the show this week we continue Spooktacular 2023 with one of the vilest serial killers in American crime history, Richard Chase, the Vampire of Sacramento. Along the way Dave takes you on an audio tour of the Big Tomato (That really IS what they call Sacramento) it only takes thirty seconds because there is so little to see. Then we dive right into why Sacramento has SO MANY serial killers. (See the part about how boring it is) After that it is straight into the backstory of Richard Trenton Chase, a regular kid growing up in regular life in the 1950s with regular 1950’s kid hobbies, like torturing and killing small animals. (You want a trigger warning? On a show about a serial killer? You didn't infer that fro

Show Notes Episode 422: Say Hello to the Night WTH Movie Night: The Lost Boys Pt 1 of Spooktacular 2023 This week Host Dave Bledsoe resolves to sleep all day, party all night and never grow old. Only to discover he has grown old and he is sound asleep by 8 PM. (He is SO old!) On the show this week we kick off Spooktacular 2023 “Gavin St James, Vampyre Hunter” with a What the HELL Movie Night, 1987’s The Lost Boys!  Along the way we learn that little Davy got so scared reading Stephen King he made his Mommy buy him a crucifix. (What a pussy!) Then we dive right into how two novice screenwriters wrote the Goonies but with vampires and how it became a MUCH better movie than that. We learn how the guy who made Danny Glover too old for this shit, passed on the movie and gave it to the Director who would make a classic vampire movie for Generation X. (And also snuck in a LOT of gay subtext!) Do we mention Sexy Saxophone Man? (See what we just said about gay subtext.) Finally we ask the hard question: is it scary?

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Episode 421: Come On In Boy, Have A Cigar This week Host Dave Bledsoe pops the tube a fine imported Cuban Cigar. (He stole it from the coat pocket of a Wall Street guy next to him at the bar.)Then he slits it open, dumps the tobacco and fills it with some sweet kush he’s been smoking. (Great, he has a NEW bad habit!) On the show this week we head back to the mid 1990’s when it seems every asshole you knew suddenly had a smoldering dog turd sticking out of their lips because they thought it made them look “cool” (It didn’t and it doesn’t) Along the way we learn that Dave’s Dad has far better taste than his son could ever dream of. (Honestly, he must wonder what happened to his boy!) Then we dive right into the history of tobacco, from the snuff box to the cigarette! (You get cancer and YOU get cancer!) We discover how Christopher Columbus stole the idea of smoking cigars from the native Cuban islanders. (Then he stole their food, their land and eventually them!) We followed along as cigar smoking became the

Show Notes Episode 420: I Got Stoned and I Missed It This week Host Dave Bledsoe decided to give up drinking and take up smoking weed. Only to discover that legal weed dealers will NOT let him run a tab. (Not unlike most neighborhood bars!) On the show this week we experience some kind of hallucination where we think we are talking to a real person instead of shouting angrily as a figment of Dave’s imagination. (Or is it? We’ll never tell!) So we welcome Jerrod Tracht, the co-host of the Hit Podcast The Dowers Boys, on the show to chat with Dave about weed. (Honestly “hit” is a stronger word than we would choose, but Dave made us say it!) Along the way Jerrod gives Dave some advice on how to be a better pot smoker and the two of them share some highly improbable tales of their adventures with the Devil’s Lettuce!   Our Sponsor this week is Sweet Sticky Icky, the weed that takes all the worry out of weed. We open the show with a regretful pot smoker and close with Dr Hook lamenting the impacts of weed on the

Show Notes Episode 419: Find A Stranger In the Alps This week Network boss Jeremy Balon shows up at the studio to wash Dave’s filthy mouth out with soap! (We guess he finally listened to the podcast.) On the show this week we take a look at the strange history of The Bleep and swear words on television. (It is *bleep*ing more interesting than you think!) Along the way we learn that Dave is still afraid of his Mom. (He should be, he is a VERY bad son!) Then we dive right into the history of censorship in these United States. (Blame the Puritans, natch!) From there we follow along as technology makes hearing potty mouths more common. We see how early TV broadcasts found ways to keep bad words off the airwaves. (Mostly by hoping no one heard them.) Then we talk about the Bleep and how it became an American Icon. Finally we learn how and why for reasons never adequately explained, we all had to see Dennis Franz’s hairy naked ass on ABC in the late 1990’s. (Blame HBO!) Our Sponsor this week is Swearing Soap, sp

Show Notes Episode 418: Zay Zomething Different This week Host Dave Bledsoe thinks it’s funny to order a Zima from a bartender who wasn’t alive when Zima was a thing. (The bartender did not.) On the show this week we head back to the early 90’s when Coors decided they wanted to toss their hat in the “clear craze” and released a drink that tasted like nothing ever before, because it tasted like nothing: Zima! (Are there WAY too many S’s pronounced with Z’s in this show? Unfortunately, yes.) Along the way we learn that Dave’s Uncle is going to be in REAL trouble if Dave’s Mom finds out he gave him booze when he was eight years old. (Sorry!) Then we dive right into the story of an obscure brewery that just wanted to make a name for itself in the “youth market” (By which we mean underage drinkers). So they created a new “malternative” to beer that no one asked for and no wanted. (Except maybe David Letterman.) We learn how it tasted (it didn’t) and who it was marketed towards. (Dudes, and they didn’t like it) W