What The Hell Were You Thinking

Show Notes Episode 369: We Really Had A Blackout This week Host Dave Bledsoe tries to remember if he paid the ConEd bill or if he is about to experience his own mini-blackout. (Again) On the show this week we head back forty five years to 1977 and that time ConEd decided to turn all the fucking lights out in New York City. (Again.) Along the way we learn how Dave used to live in the kinds of places where the power goes on the regular. (Turns out, you DO have to pay that electric bill!) Then we dive right into the night of July 13th 1977 in New York City. (The Met sucked as always) and how the gross failure of the Consolidated Edison caused all the lights to go out for 24 hours. When that happened, things got…exciting? (In the OH MY GOD WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE! Kind of way) NEXT WEEK get ready for the Chubby Behemoth: we kick off a two-parter on the Son of Sam!  Our Sponsor this week is The Flashlight In the Kitchen Drawer, who wants you to know it won’t be IGNORED! We open the show with a little audio doc

Show Noted Episode 368: Welcome to Fear City This week Host Dave Bledsoe issues a dire warning that New York City is on the verge of slipping into a hellscape dystopia all because of this unreasonable demand he settle these bartabs. (The Bartenders told him to “Drop Dead”) On the show this week we kick off a month of shows about the Greatest Goddamn City in the World during The Worst Decade Ever, NYC in the 1970’s! Along the way we learn how Dave earnestly believed that Oklahoma City Oklahoma was a booming metropolis and the height of urban life. (He was ten years old so we guess we can excuse it.) From there we dive right into the history of how the Big Apple rotted during the late 60’s and got all wormy in the 1970’s! (It’s all just protein people!) From the crime wave to the economic collapse we lay out just where things went and how no one was willing to do a damn thing about it! (Baghdad wasn’t the first city Donald Rumsfeld had a pivotal role in destroying!) Then we discover that as bad as things were

Show Notes Episode 367: Who Could’ve Seen It Coming This week Host Dave Bledsoe would like to turn the show over to a woman and let her say what needs to be said, but all the women he knows either hate him or are too busy doing important shit to talk on some dumb podcast. (Mostly they just hate him.) On the show this week we keep it really simple, we talk about the people who worked so hard to take your right away in the history of anti-abortion. (You think we are gonna talk about Canadian Tuxedos after THIS week?) We are keeping the notes simple this week. Our Sponsor is My Mailbox, in a Blue State, and it is here to be YOUR mailbox if you need something you can’t have sent to your actual mailbox. We open with theBill Hicks tossing his hat in the political ring and close with Brass Against Taking The Power Back. Show Theme: https://www.jamendo.com/track/421668/prelude-to-common-sense The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/

Show Notes Episode 366: Full Metal Lunch Box This week Host Dave Bledsoe is brown bagging it for lunch, meaning he is drinking cheap scotch out of a brown paper bag in the park. (Again) On the show this week we tell you about the Ultimate Status Symbol of the 1970’s School House: the lunch box! Along the way we learn that young Dave had a very disturbing lunch box when he lived in the Deep South. (Though he denies it, he definitely had a Klan Lunch Box) Then we dive right into that most American of Americana, the Lunch Pails that built America! From their humble beginnings as a container for carcinogens and cookies to their heyday as a metal masters of a growing nation, men carried a god damn lunch pail and it was filled with love! (And strong black coffee!) Then we explain how the Baby Boom built a lucrative market for a kerosene lamp subsidiary to make millions from all those privileged children. (Boomers had it all!) Finally we talk about all the wonderful things on our lunch boxes when we were kids and

Show Notes Episode 365: The Last Barman Poet This week Host Dave Bledsoe struggles with the reality he will never own his own bar, and the best he will ever have is a tab at one. (Which will be constantly overdue) On the show this week take a look at a Tom Cruise movie that had American flipping bottles and breaking glasses all over their basement bars: 1988’s Cocktail. (Why? There is no why.) Along the way we learned that instead of using an unexpected financial windfall to better his life, Dave just spent it all on booze. (Same as it ever was.) Then we dive right into the backstory of a movie that no one thought was very good but everyone watched anyway. We learn how a gritty commentary on capitalism and consumer culture was “Disneyfied” into a banal Reagan era blockbuster. Finally we explain why everyone loved the move and how the soundtrack is an abomination and deserves a trial in the Hague for crimes against humanity. (Kind of like this podcast) Our Sponsor this week is The Slippery Nipple, the bar t

Episode 364: We Were Too Damn Cool to Buy the 8 Track Tapes This week Host Dave Bledsoe drops a quarter in the jukebox to play the sad country songs from his youth, only to be kicked out of the diner for sobbing at the counter. (Again) On the show this week we take a look at the long lost and justifiably detested technology that somehow made Foghat even worse, the 8 Track Tape. (Yeah, who knew that was even possible?)  Along the way we discover that Dave is no better at keeping a car than he is at keeping a girlfriend. Then we dive right into the life of Bill Lear, the man who made owning a private jet available for just millionaires instead of billionaires. He also ruined America by creating the 8 Track tape. Then we learn the long history of continuous loop tape, which we swear is relevant to the story. (So few things in this show ever truly are!) Then we talk about why the 8 Track was just a blip on our cultural radar compared to other forms of recorded music. (Spoiler Alert: It is because they sucked.)

Show Notes: Special Edition “It’s Later Than You Think” In the aftermath of the shootings, we will not be running our usual show. This Special Edition talks frankly about what happened, where we are and where it looks like we are going. It is presented without music or drops, and without our usual dick and fart humor. We will not be running a show for next week, a Dowers Boys will run in the feed for Monday morning. Hopefully we will return the following week with a show about 8 Track Tapes, which to date have never been used to senselessly murder 19 children in their classroom. We understand if you skip this one, we didn’t want to do it either. Thank you for putting up us with while we try to come to grips with this fucked up country. Show Theme: https://www.jamendo.com/track/421668/prelude-to-common-sense The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/ The Show on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjxP5ywpZ-O7qu_MFkLXQUQ

Show Noted Episode 363: “Highway to the Reagan Zone” This week Host Dave Bledsoe tries to get a free drink by strongly implying to the bartender that he was “kinda the Air Force version of Maverick from Top Gun”. (Just as when he used it in the 80’s, he crashed and burned) On the show this week we tell the tale of the original Top Gun and how it was pure propaganda for Reagan’s America and not just hot, sweaty, homoerotic volleyball. (HOT!) Along the way we hear one of Dave’s pick up lines from back in the day and wonder how he ever got laid. (Mostly bad liquor and women with the worst taste in men) Then we dive right into the origins of Top Gun in a magazine article with prose so purple you could stomp it to make wine. (Too sweet, very tannic) Then we meet Don and Jerry who took one look at this badly written article and saw millions of dollars at the box office. We explain how and why the Pentagon got involved (free tickets for the Generals!) and how America primed to get their mojo back by invading a tin

Show Notes Episode 362: I Did Not SeaMonkey That Coming This week Host Dave Bledsoe keeps checking the mailbox for his pair of X-Ray Goggles only to be disappointed again. (Honestly, you can just look at porn on the internet, dude) On the show this week we tell you the truly messed up tale of the guy who invented Sea-Monkeys. (No spoilers, but he was a Jewish Nazi!) Along the way we learn that Dave gets drunk and falls victim to Facebook scams on the regular. (No surprise there!) Then we dive right into the history of how a guy committed fraud against children by selling cheap crap in the back pages of a comic book. Then we discuss the twisted tale of Harold Von Braunhunt, the creator of SeaMonkeys, X-Ray Specs, and ardent Nazi! (Who is also Jewish) We trace the tale of his rise to child scam fame and fall because he sold a weapon he invented to raise money for seditionists. (No one tell Don Jr.) Finally we explain how even after the Nazi part came out, they still did a Saturday morning cartoon about Sea Mo

Show Notes Episode 361: The Night They Drove Old Disco Down This week Host Dave Bledsoe digs out his Boogie Shoes, unbuttons his shirt down to his navel and slaps on his gold chains to get down on the dance floor.  And…gets booted out of the Bar Mitzvah where he hoped to score free booze. (Again) On the show this week we head back to The Night Disco Died when a bunch of drunk white dudes got real, real mad about some music they didn’t like. (But liked the people who made the music even less) Along the way we learn that Dave’s taste in t-shirts has not noticeably improved in 40 years.  Then we dive right into that time when America was getting funky on the dance floor.  (To be fair, most of America was just embarrassing themselves on the dance floor.)  Then we talk about where the music known as disco came from and where it was going. (White dudes thinking they could dance) Then dig into the cultural events that led up to a mid-market DJ stoking white rage in the center field of a crappy Chicago baseball te

Show Notes Episode 360: “Here’s Some Money, Go Buy Yourself A Star War This week Host Dave Bledsoe proposes a complex system of interlocking free drinks to protect him from needing to pay a bar tab, only to find the technology isn’t there yet. (Because people don’t like him!) On the show this week we talk about the time Ronald Reagan got really excited about a movie and cost the taxpayers 30 billion dollars for his own personal Death Star! Along the way we learn how Dave stopped worrying and learn to love the bomb! (Yeah, the Jaeger Bomb!) After a quick tour of the Cold War, we dive right into 1983’s Strategic Defense Initiative, a program so technologically advanced, we can’t even do it now! (Or any time in the next fifty years!) We learn how Ronnie conceived of the idea (It really was Star Wars) and instantly figured out how it could help his reelection chances! (So much money for defense contractors!) Then we learn what the rest of the world thought about Star Wars. (Loved the movies, hated the crazy ass

Show Notes Episode 359: Sleeping in the Wet Spot On Your Waterbed This week Host Dave Bledsoe asks a fellow bar denizen if she would like to come back to his place for some sloshy sex in his waterbed only to remember when he woke up from being knocked cold (Again) he doesn’t have one anymore. On the show this week we break out our leak kits and patch up the story of America’s moment of sleeping on vinyl bags filled with water. (The story has a lot of holes! Get it?) Along the way we learn that Dave was the only boy in his school to lay his head on a sex bed, and that his head was the ONLY thing he laid in said bed. (He was a virgin until he was 19!) Then we plug in the garden hose and fill our plastic mattresses with the story of beds from holes in dirt filled with ash and grass to the invention of the worst possible sleep surface ever invented, the waterbed. (Ask anyone who slept on one!) We learned how it was marketed to Baby Boomers for it’s erotic potential only for them to discover the only thing harde

Show Notes Episode 358: I Simply Cannot Drive Fifty Five This week Host Dave Bledsoe signs his name on number 24 when the bartender says “Boy, I won’t serve no more” and finally pays down his bartab. (One of them anyway) On the show this week we take you back to 1974 when America had to step on the brakes, at least if there was a cop around, because the National Speed Limit was now Fifty Five Miles Per Hour. Along the way Dave answers the one question everyone had about his time as a cop. (Sadly it was not who thought Dave should ever have that kind of responsibility in the first place.) Then we settle in for a little long form math problem. (Don’t worry it isn’t on the test) From there we dive right into the history of speed limits. (The Man has been harshing our fun for a LONG time!) Then we learn how Richard Milhouse Nixon came to sign a bill mandating we all drive slower. (Why? Reasons.) And how everyone in America decided “nah, I don’t wanna” and drove as fast they wanted to anyway. (#Freedom) Finally

Show Notes Episode 357: Oh Yes, They Call Him the Streak This week Host Dave Bledsoe offers to go Full Monty if that will reduce the amount of his latest bartab. (They told him they would wipe out the entire thing if he promised to keep his clothes ON) On the show this week we head back to the heady and hirsute days of the early 1970’s when a generation of Boomers took up jogging in their birthday suits for some reason no one really understands. (Except maybe for this on Professor we quote extensively in the show.) Along the way we learn about that one time Dave went bare on a dare and how the lingering memories of that trauma impact everyone today.  (Even at six, no one thought Dave should be nude) Then we dive right into the surprisingly long and colorful history of streaking, from Medieval times right up until a future congressman’s nude dash across campus.We do talk about what happened at the Oscars, but it was the Oscars in 1974.  Finally we examine whether streaking was “political”. (Hint: A lot of t

Episode 356: Take A Look At My Big Johnson This week Host Dave Bledsoe is pulling out his finest attire, meaning he is wearing a black t-shirt without holes in the armpits. (For once) On the show this week we are heading back to the mid 1990’s when men weren’t afraid to let the world know their emotional age by looking at the t-shirts they wore. (Right around 13 years old or so.) Along the way we discover why Dave always wears the style of clothes every day. (Hint: It isn’t because he is anything like Steve Jobs) From there we dive right into the history of the t-shirt from it’s shockingly homoerotic origins (To Dave anway) as undershirts for hot, sweaty sexy sailors to its coming out party on Marlon Brando and James Dean. (Rebels with an overshirt) Then we talk about the halcyon days of the graphic tee, the 1970’s! (Who knew the Smiley Face shirt really wasn’t invented by Forrest Gump?) We talk about the hierarchy of Heavy Metal Band T-Shirts for longer than is strictly necessary before finally we arrive at

Show Notes Episode 355: We’ll Always Have Lennie Briscoe  Pt 3 of Copaganda This week Host Dave Bledsoe demands a detailed forensic analysis of his bartab to prove he actually owes that much money. (The boys at the lab say he owes even more) On the show this week we wrap up our series about the influence of cop shows on the public in the 90’s and 2000’s. (Do we mention how much New York loves Jerry Orbach? You bet we do!) Along the way we learn that Dave has the worst taste in TV cop role models. (Jimmy McNulty was a drunk fuck up, so I guess maybe he is right after all.) Then we dive right into how the end of the crime wave in the 90’s caused TV to swing back toward the pro-cop narratives it largely left behind the 70’s and 80’s with the biggest cop show of all time, Law and Order. From there we dig into the other big shows of the 90’s before finally arriving at one of the most influential police procedurals of the modern era and how it literally gets EVERYTHING about forensics and crime scene investigati

Show Notes Episode 354: “Let’s Be Careful Out There” (Pt 2 of Copaganda)  This week Host Dave Bledsoe goes undercover as someone who doesn’t have a massive bartab only to have it blown when the bartender recognizes him as Dave wearing a dress. (Again)  On the show this week we are back for part two of Copaganda where we examine how the 70’s and 80’s changed how Hollywood portrayed cops. Along the way we learn that Dave became a cop because kids were mean to him in grade school.  (To be honest, they are mean to him now.)  Then we dive right in with all the cop shows you probably watched on Nick and Nite, and the movies that you watched on HBO after your parents went to sleep!  (“Do you feel lucky punk?” --Our Dad when we got caught watching HBO after bedtime) Then we go right into the 80’s and how Miami Vice made us all dress in pastels and not shave for three days because we thought we would look cool.  (We did not.) Our Sponsor this week is the Anthora Cup, a Regular Coffee for Regular Cops who really are

Show Notes Episode 353: Can’t Tell the Cops From the Criminals  (Part 1 of Copaganda) This week Host Dave Bledsoe flashes his old cop badge hoping to get out of a drunk and disorderly charge and winds up spending the weekend in the Tombs. (Again) On the show this week we start a series about how Hollywood helped law enforcement spruce up it’s image a bit! (With the help of J. Edgar Hoover in a STUNNING Pink Taffeta!)  Along the way Dave rehashes (again) the story of how he accidentally became a cop. (Just woke up drunk at the police academy one morning) From there we dive into the troubled and troubling history of policing in the United States. (Is there a slavery angle? You bet!) Then we talk about for most of American history the public kinda hated cops and the cops hated the public right back, and finally we learn how the Hollywood Production Code allowed some of the worst people in America to turn themselves in Big. Damn. Heroes. Our Sponsor this week is Miranda Vs Arizona, who want to remind you to to

Show Notes Episode 352: The Malls Are All Empty Now This week Host Dave Bledsoe has his Mom and Dad drop him off at the mall, and then runs across the parking lot to get drunk in the Applebees. (Dave: still disappointing his parents at 52!) On the show this week, we put on our parachute pants, zip up our Members Only Jacket and head down to the Food Court at our local mall! (We will be sitting with the cool kids!) Along the way we discover that Dave’s granny loved him the best. (Which is probably why he is such a spoiled little bitch now.) Then we dive right into the history of and different types of shopping malls around America. (With more information than you ever wanted or needed.) Then we slip through the time portal that is The Mall to revisit all the shops you could never afford to buy anything from when you were a kid. Before we leave, we have to stop at Spencer’s Gifts for some fake poop. Our Sponsor this week is The Creepy Guy at the Food Court, we don’t know who or what he is, we only know that h

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