Bachelor Of Hearts

The finale of The Bachelor NZ's third season is finally upon us, so we take a moment to reflect on our first experience watching the show from across the pond. We reflect on Zac Franich's tenure as Bachelor, share our feelings about the couple's chances on the other side of their Bachelor experience, and pitch some alternative Bachelor endings to spice things up. Oh, and we don't get sidetracked talking about Twin Peaks at all.

This season of The Bachelor NZ is at boiling point: our final 3 women are put through the wringer of Home Town dates in New Zealand (of all places!), plus the ultimate psychosexual gauntlet of Fuck Week. Max provides a handy and informative explanation of how sex works, and we investigate whether Claudia knew she was being sent home - all building to a finale that's just around the corner!

A series of unfortunate events delayed the recording this week, so we do our best to rush through our analysis of two captivating episodes - stopping only to solve biscuit mysteries, to thank our brand-new sponsor, and to weigh in on Ed Sheeran's new album. Disclaimer: This episode contains SPOILERS for The Bachelor NZ S3 E16-17.

This week, a series of boat dates provide familiar riffing territory; but thankfully we have ice-bath torture, special raccoon guest-stars, and contestants threatening to leave the show to keep us enthralled. Also, as we tick down to the final 5 women, we make our predictions on how the season will wrap up.

This week on The Bachelor Vs. Wild, Zac sent home three women and zero elephants, meaning the two species are now neck-and-neck in the competition. Meanwhile, Sarah revealed her fear of fish, Rosie admitted to being scared of animals altogether, and Ally showed off a sloth tattoo - meaning she could potentially be a traitor to the human race. Incidentally, the animal kingdom remained conspicuously silent on their feelings towards reality TV dating show contestants. [Click here to download MP3.]

It's Monk time! On a special, extra edition bonus episode, we explain our reactions to the casting of superstar celebrity Sophie Monk as Australia's new Bachelorette for 2017. We take a detailed look at the road Sophie has taken so far in her career, and consider what her casting might mean for the franchise. Also we talk about Adam Sandler and Blink-182 a whole lot.

Only one episode of The Bachelor NZ this week, but boy was it a doozy: a Rare and Wonderful Event threatens to shock the franchise to its core, whilst one of the house's most popular Bachelorettes is sent home. As usual, we're here to break it all down, with the help of our new sponsor: the Bachelor of Hearts podcast.

Intruder alert! In a shocking reality TV twist that definitely hasn't lost its impact over years of repetition, the Bachelor NZ mansion is invaded by three mysterious intruders this week. We dish all the dirt on the intruders, plus how the show handles a trip to Thailand. We also take a detour to analyse the shocking events on Survivor US this week. [Click here to download MP3.]

This week, we revel in some more of Bachelor NZ's inexplicable editing choices (such as the bizarre arc of Katey and Lucia's friendship), all the while tiptoeing around two of the worst group dates in Bachelor history - lovingly brought to you by Arnott's and Suzuki. Plus, we celebrate Max's birthday, submit an application to The Bachelorette Australia, and formally invite Lorde on the podcast.

On this episode, we spend more time than expected admiring Bachelor NZ's sympathetic editing, but balance it with our frustration with the show's cheap use of sound effects. Plus, we learn about Bel's 'Sex Siblings', we get all mashed up about Richie McCaw, and we're blinded by Zac's bizarre orange tan.

The Bachelor of Hearts podcast is back! In the coming weeks, we'll be discussing the third season of New Zealand's The Bachelor, currently airing on Channel Three in NZ. This episode, we dive into the first two episodes of the season, wherein we meet Bachelor Zac Franich and the 19 women who will be competing for his heart. Plus, we reveal our incredible knowledge of New Zealand's culture, show off some fancy new recording technology, and propose a more equitable working situation for the women on the show.

It's a bittersweet farewell this week: the finale of The Bachelorette means Bachelor of Hearts is going away as well, at least for a little while. However, in this bumper episode, we analyse this week's two episodes, reflect on the season as a whole, and make some predictions about the series' return next year. Plus: a recount of a chance meeting with ex-Bachelorette Sam Frost, we finally establish which Shrek character everyone is, and we Yelp review some rigs.

This week, Xavier's back in Melbourne to celebrate another massive week of Bachelorette (well, okay, there was some other stuff going on in Melbourne this week, but whatever). Between Georgia visiting the boys' hometowns, a Swayze single-date, and a boy-band group-date which produces the first official Bachelor of Hearts Certified Banger, it's an overstuffed week of The Bachelorette, but we do our best to process it all and also figure out where babies come from.

The body count is high this week on The Bachelorette, and we're really starting to feel the heat of the impending finale. There's still plenty to celebrate, though: A zoo visit gives us Meerkat Manor flashbacks, very cool guy Osher Günsberg plans an incredible group date, and we uncover some juicy goss about Cameron. Plus we piss off the internet by revealing our distaste for big fantasy franchises. SORRY!

Intruder alert! Just as two fresh new boys invade the Bachelorette mansion, Xavier invades Melbourne again, and so it's time for another face-to-face Single Date Special. Naturally, all the important topics are covered, such as Babe: Pig in the City, the Canadian Amazing Race, and intruder Todd's 6-years-dormant Twitter page. Plus, not to be bested by the boys on the Bachelorette this week, Max performs a special song to express his love. (Oh yeah - Don Cheadle! Duh!)

So much to pull apart on this week's episode: Rhys is (technically) married, Courtney uses his Golden Date Card, and Georgia finally becomes aware of Tommy's existence. Plus, a familiar vehicle makes its second appearance on the show, and it's nice. Oh yeah, and more boat dates!

Now that the new season of The Bachelorette is properly underway, we take a moment to consider what it is about Georgia's Bacheloring that makes it so much more enjoyable than Richie's. Also, we see how the 16 hunky studs who are competing for Georgia's love stacked up in week 1 of the competition. What's on Matt's 'mixtape'? Who uses Tinder "only for business"? And most importantly, can we keep track of everyone's names?

It's time for a new season of Bachelor of Hearts, so this week we get to know the new Bachelorette Georgia Love, as well as the 16 hunky studs who will compete to win her affections. Plus, we take a look at the sponsors that will also try to win Australia's hearts this season.

Richie Strahan's season of The Bachelor came to its shocking conclusion this week, and we struggle to come to grips with the outcome. Plus: how to order Menulog from an AirAsia plane, how to make a long-distance relationship work, and how do you solve a mystery like Olena? Stay tuned for a special Bachelorette preview episode, coming this Tuesday.

Hometown Week on The Bachelor AU means a bumper episode of BoH, which we recorded directly after Thursday night's episode aired. In it, we react to another one of the season's least essential episodes, before ripping into a problematic hometown special - and we've gotta get it all done before midnight comes and changes our lives forever.