Myopia: Defend Your Childhood - A Nostalgic Movies Podcast

This week on Myopia Movies, we are forced to drink a pint of whiskey because of mistaken identity; if the identity was correct it would have been a quart. We watched North by Northwest. Hitch's love letter to the vastness of America.  How will North by Northwest hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Alex, Keiko, Matthew Starring: Cary Grant, Eva Marie Saint, James Mason, Jessie Royce Landis, Leo G. Carroll, Josephine Hutchinson, Philip Ober, Martin Landau, Adam Williams, Edward Platt

This week on Myopia Movies,we step onto the ledge of cinematic obsession with Alfred Hitchcock’s Vertigo — a film that turns love, identity, and acrophobia into an existential spiral. Jimmy Stewart plays a retired detective with a fear of heights and a talent for projection, and Kim Novak plays… well, let’s just say she plays a lot. Is this 1958 classic still a mesmerizing masterpiece of psychological suspense, or is it just Hitchcock working out his therapy sessions on-screen? Does the dream logic and slow-burn pacing hold up in an era of TikTok attention spans? Or does it collapse under the weight of its own neuroses? Strap in, stare down from that bell tower, and try not to fall — as we put Vertigo to the test of time. Did it hold up, or were our memories just spinning? How will Vertigo hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Matthew, Alex, Keiko   Directed by Alfred Hitchcock Starring: James Stewart, Kim Novak, Barbara Bel Geddes, Tom Helmore, Henry Jones, Raymond Bailey

This week on Myopia Movies we learn why I only take bubble baths, we start our Alfred Hitchcock Month with Psycho! The reason I only stay at Holiday Inn Express. How will Psycho hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Alex, Matthew, Keiko   Directed by Alfred Hitchcock Starring: Anthony Perkins, Vera Miles, John Gavin, Martin Balsam, and Janet Leigh

This week on Myopia Movies, not even a vicious stomach virus can keep me from releasing an episode on a movie that, appropriately enough, feels like a vicious stomach virus. We watched Ultraviolet, a movie appropriately named because it should not be seen with the naked eye. How will Ultraviolet hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko, Matthew, Nur   Directed by Kurt Wimmer Starring: Milla Jovovich, Cameron Bright, Nick Chinlund, William Fichtner, Sebastien Andrieu, Ida Martin

The week we see Charlie Day and giant monsters, which is all pretty sweet. We watched Pacific Rim a movie set in 2025, which if it came true may still not be top headlines in the real 2025.  How will Pacific Rim hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Matt, Keiko, Alex   Directed by Guillermo del Toro Starring: Charlie Hunnam, Idris Elba, Rinko Kikuchi, Charlie Day, Ron Perlman, Burn Gorman

This week on Myopia Movies, it’s suddenly Seymour—and Rick Moranis, Steve Martin, Frank Oz, and one giant, man-eating plant. We dove into Little Shop of Horrors, the cult musical that made us fear dentists, question florists, and hum along while the world burns. Somebody feed me... Seymour! Make sure to like and subscribe wherever you are getting this! Please leave us a review and follow us everywhere! How will Little Shop of Horrors (1986) hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Nur, Alex, Keiko, Charlie   Directed by: Frank Oz Starring: Rick Moranis, Ellen Greene, Steve Martin, Vincent Gardenia, Levi Stubbs, James Belushi

This week we get alllllll creepy crawly. We watched Arachnophobia, another movie, like almost all movies, that doesn't have nearly enough John Goodman!  “Before Eight-Legged Freaks made spiders scream-worthy and before Jeff Daniels became America’s favorite newsroom anchor, there was Arachnophobia—the movie that turned every shoe, vacuum, and rolled-up newspaper into a weapon of survival. This week on Myopia Movies, we crawl back to 1990 to face our fears—literally—with a horror-comedy that dares to ask: what if your quaint small town was overrun by an army of venomous spiders with a taste for blood… and interior design? Is it scary? Is it silly? Is it the Jaws of the jungle gym set? Let’s put it to the test as we examine toxic masculinity, arachnid-based paranoia, and John Goodman as a pest control cowboy who deserves his own franchise. So shake out your shoes, check the corners of your room, and join us for Arachnophobia—a movie that proves once and for all: nature is coming for us… one creepy leg at a time

This week on Myopia Movie, we complete our worst of the previous year month with a movie that no one wanted, and no one liked, we saw Borderlands, a movie that not only lost $114 million of a $145 million budget (excluding advertising), it was delayed for three years and this was still the best they could come up with.  How will Borderlands hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko, Matthew, Alex   Directed by Eli Roth Starring: Cate Blanchett, Kevin Hart, Edgar Ramírez, Jamie Lee Curtis, Ariana Greenblatt, Florian Munteanu, Janina Gavankar, Jack Black, Benjamin Byron Davis, Olivier Richters, Gina Gershon

This week we continue the Worst of the Previous Year for Oscars Month and are baffled by a stupid movie, whose book is somehow worse. We watched Argylle, the worse the script, the dumber the lie.  How will Argylle hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Matt, Zack Directed by Matthew Vaughn Starring: Henry Cavill, Bryce Dallas Howard, Sam Rockwell, Bryan Cranston, Catherine O'Hara, Daniel Singh, Dua Lipa, Ariana DeBose, Richard E. Grant, John Cena

Welcome to Myopia Movies, where this week, we watched Madame Web, Sony’s latest attempt to prove you can make a Spider-Man movie without Spider-Man—or a plot, or logic, or an audience. Make sure to like and subscribe wherever you are getting this! Please leave us a review and follow us everywhere! How will Madame Web hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Nur, Keiko, Matthew   Directed by S.J. Clarkson Starring: Dakota Johnson, Sydney Sweeney, Isabela Merced, Celeste O'Connor, Tahar Rahim, Mike Epps, Emma Roberts,  Adam Scott  

This week on Myopia Movies, in honor of the Academy Awards this week, we are covering some of the worst, weirdest, and biggest disasters of the previous year. This week we start with Francis Ford Coppola's vivid, but baffling 'Fable' Megalopolis. We're all going to the cluuuuuubbbbbb! How will Megalopolis hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Daniel, Alex, Matthew, Keiko Directed by: Francis Ford Coppola Starring: Adam Driver, Giancarlo Esposito, Nathalie Emmanuel, Aubrey Plaza, Shia LaBeouf, Jon Voight, Laurence Fishburne, Talia Shire, Jason Schwartzman, Kathryn Hunter, Grace VanderWaal, Chloe Fineman, James Remar, D.B. Sweeney, Balthazar Getty

Welcome to Myopia Movies, after that brief diversion to celebrate 500 episodes, we turned to Robin Hood: Men in Tights, I mean, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. I guess American Robin Hoods don't even need to try accents...you know what? It is for the best.  Make sure to like and subscribe where ever you are getting this! Please leave us a review and follow us  everywhere! How will Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves hold up?  Host: Nic Panel: Alex, Keiko, Nur, Matt   Directed by Kevin Reynolds Starring: Kevin Costner, Morgan Freeman, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, Christian Slater, Alan Rickman, Geraldine McEwan, Michael McShane, Brian Blessed, Michael Wincott

This week on Myopia Movies, we’re celebrating a milestone—500 episodes! To honor the journey, we’re going back to a movie that came out just as we were starting and talking about the Turtles. This time, though, we are covering the 2014 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, produced by Michael Bay, which came out while we were starting. It’s awful, it’s outrageous, and surprisingly adult for what was a kids’ movie. So, for this special episode, we’re doing something different: a syncable commentary, just like on the old CineProv Patreon. We will count off the film and tell you when to hit play. Whether you’re watching along (it was on Amazon Prime when we recorded) or just listening, we’re here to have fun, make jokes, and share in the absurdity. Thank you for supporting us through 500 episodes—we appreciate you! How will Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) hold up?  Host: Nic Panel: Alex, Daniel, Matthew, and Keiko   Directed by Jonathan Liebesman Starring Megan Fox, Will Arnett, William Fichtner, Noel Fisher, Alan R

Happy Valentines Day! That means cheesy rom-coms! This week on Myopia Movies, we learn the danger of print media! We watched How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, or How to Troll Your Partner. We will talk horrible SOs, ruining basketball, and naming your penis!  Make sure to like and subscribe where ever you are getting this! Please leave us a review and follow us on Bluesky, Reddit, and Facebook! How will How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Nur, Matthew, and Keiko   Directed by Donald Petrie Starring: Kate Hudson, Matthew McConaughey, Adam Goldberg, Kathryn Hahn, Annie Parisse, Thomas Lennon  

Welcome to Myopia Movies, where we rewatch the films of our youth to see if they stand the test of time—or if nostalgia was lying to us! This week, we’re diving into 1989’s Look Who’s Talking, the baby-powered comedy that made us all wonder what our infants were really thinking. With John Travolta, Kirstie Alley, and Bruce Willis as the voice of a wisecracking newborn, this movie was a box office hit—but does it still charm in 2024, or is it just baby babble? Strap in your car seats, folks—we’re about to find out! Make sure to like and subscribe where ever you are getting this! Please leave us a review and follow us on Bluesky, Reddit, and Facebook! How will Look Who's Talking hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Keiko, Alex, Nur  

Welcome to Myopia Movies, the podcast where we revisit the films of our youth to see if they hold up under the lens of nostalgia—or crumble under the weight of time! This week, we’re plunging headfirst into the campy chaos of 1984’s Ice Pirates. With space herpes, robot pirates, and a desert-dry water crisis, this sci-fi comedy is equal parts swashbuckling adventure and ‘80s absurdity. But does it still have treasure hidden beneath its dated special effects, or has it been lost in the black hole of bad cinema? Strap in, mateys, and let’s find out! Make sure to like and subscribe where ever you are getting this! Please leave us a review and follow us on Bluesky, Reddit, and Facebook! How will Ice Pirates hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Nur, Alex, Keiko, and Matt   Directed by Stewart Raffill Starring: Robert Urich, Mary Crosby, Michael D. Roberts, Anjelica Huston, John Matuszak, Ron Perlman, John Carradine, Natalie Core, Jeremy West,  Bruce Vilanch

Welcome back to Myopia Movies the show where we boldly go—wait, wrong franchise—where we dive headfirst into the galaxy far, far away! And today, we’re talking about Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back, the movie that taught us three very important lessons: 1) Always check if someone’s your dad before you start a fight, 2) Tauntauns may smell bad, but they’re lifesavers, and 3) Never kiss your sibling—even if you don’t know they’re your sibling. That’s right! We’re breaking down the movie where the good guys lose, the bad guys win, and we’re left screaming, ‘LUKE, DON’T DO IT!’ louder than Darth Vader in a parenting seminar. So grab your lightsabers, bundle up for Hoth, and let’s jump into the movie that made us all question our family trees and our ability to trust small green swamp creatures!” Make sure to like and subscribe where ever you are getting this! Please leave us a review and follow us on Bluesky, Reddit, and Facebook! This week, we dig deeper into the cold to talk about Star Wars

This week, in honor of the cold movie month, we hit the slope with James Bond as we dust off the archives and talk For Your Eyes Only! Roger Moore beds a figure skater....classy! How will For Your Eyes Only hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Matt, Daniel, Jon   Directed by John Glen Starring: Roger Moore, Carole Bouquet, Topol, Lynn-Holly Johnson, Julian Glover, Cassandra Harris, Jill Bennett, Michael Gothard, Lois Maxwell, Desmond Llewelyn

This week on our Cold Movie Month, we climb K2, because it was the style at the time. We watched Vertical Limit! Remember when Chris O'Donnell opened blockbusters? Also, stupid movie, but makes you miss Bill Paxton. How will Vertical Limit hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Nur and Matthew   Directed by Martin Campbell Starring: Scott Glenn, Chris O'Donnell, Bill Paxton, Robin Tunney, Stuart Wilson, Augie Davis, Temuera Morrison, Roshan Seth, Nicholas Lea

This week we learn the importance of allowing writers to have alcohol. We watched The Shining, today the line would be "Jimmy Fallon!" We are starting a month of cold movies. How will The Shining hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Matthew and Nur Directed by Stanley Kubrick Starring:Jack Nicholson, Shelley Duvall, Danny Lloyd, Scatman Crothers, Barry Nelson, Philip Stone, Joe Turkel