Let's Parent On Purpose

This is part two of a four part series to help parents and teens improve their communication and reduce conflict. It’s adapted from a parent/teen retreat and includes small group questions you help you process the material as a family. Today’s episode focuses understanding the emotional love bank each family member has with one another. Once we learn the impact of deposits and withdraws, we can begin to build emotional security in our household relationships. We discuss applying the New Testament One Another’s to our family, identifying one another’s love languages, securing easy wins, and avoiding costly losses in our communication.   Key Points:
 1. The Love Bank/Tank represents the amount of positive emotional reserves you have for each relationship. 2. Everyone wants to feel noticed, loved, and appreciated. We get to be the hands, feet, and mouth of Jesus to one another in the home! 3. As a general rule, people need to hear 5-10 affirmations for every cirque, otherwise they become insecure and resent

This is part one of a four part series to help parents and teens improve their communication and reduce conflict. It’s adapted from a parent/teen retreat and includes small group questions you help you process the material as a family. Today’s episode focuses on understanding the spiritual warfare behind many household conflicts and gives you tools for overcoming.   Key Points: 1. You have an enemy, and it’s not your family. 2. The combat theater is your mind. Satan’s weapon is your flesh, and your weapon is the armor of God. 3. The next combat theater is your family. Your family is not the enemy, they are the battle prize. Satan’s weapon is pride and your weapon is grace.   Remember, healing grace is a two way street but it starts with one person making the step of faith!   Discussion Questions with your family after listening: 1. What was the most important thing you heard in this podcast? 2. Is the concept of spiritual warfare in the family new to you? 3. What seems to be the greatest battlefield to you ri

This year our family has been stretched and scattered. We have experienced significant disorientation as we walk through a leukemia relapsed. To combat the disorientation, we are developing a new practice of a Family Sabbath Dinner. After years of toying with the idea, talking about it with others, we are finally doing it. Today I want to walk you through what our Family Sabbath Liturgy looks like. This is my own personal modified version, designed to help take some of the awkwardness out of the meal as well as giving each participant a meaningful role. As you follow along my walkthrough, my prayer is that you realize that you can also do this! Jesus tells us that the Sabbath was made for man, and it’s time we reclaimed this gift as we invite Jesus to the feast!   If you find this compelling, check out the links in “Resources Mentioned” for my Sabbath Liturgy as well as a couple of other versions.   This is the fourth episode in my “Upside Down Insights” series. Birthed out of our bone marrow transplant journ

How do you measure a good day? What are the things you can control when everything feels out of control? As we walked through a month of ICU hospitalization with our son for his bone marrow transplant, he was unable to even leave his room for 28 days. To keep from focusing on the isolation and sickness, we developed a plan to measure a “good day”. No matter what happened in a day, if we could do most of these things, we can say that it was a day well spent. A good day. On todays episode, I walk through the following list, explaining how these items helped the doctors describe my son’s mindset as “the model patient”. If these items work for you in an isolated hospital, you can trust they will help you make the most of the blessedly “normal” days in your life as well!   What makes up a Good Day? - Time with God - Train my body - move! - Eat intentionally - Encourage someone - Learn something - Play - Talk to a friend - Tell people I love them   This is the third episode in my “Upside Down Insights” series. Birt

Sometimes I feel the pressure to fix all of the broken things in my family and friends. It’s especially paralyzing when you cannot see what God is doing. In this devotional form John 5, we see that Jesus did nothing of his own initiative, but only what he saw His Father already doing. If the Son of God only worked in areas where He could see his Father working, shouldn’t we enjoy the freedom of following His example? God doesn’t need us to join his work, but he wants us to. As we join the Father, we grow in character and skill. We go from knowing about God to knowing God. And the more time we spend working with our Father, the more we become like our Father. This is the second episode in my “Upside Down Insights” series. Birthed out of our bone marrow transplant journey, these are insights God has given me as our world turned upside down.   Resources Mentioned:   Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y   Experiencing God: Knowing and Doing the Will of God: https://amzn.to/ 37jJJ

What would happen if you had to live without 95 percent of your “stuff”? That’s exactly what our family has been experiencing as we live in a rental house for a couple of months. The conclusion: we are just fine. It’s led me to think about how much stress and anxiety we normally live under because of our accumulation of stuff and commitments. How do we fightback to simplify our lives so that we can truly live in the freedom Jesus gives us?This is the first episode in my “Upside Down Insights” series. Birthed out of our bone marrow transplant journey, these are insights God has given me as our world turned upside down.   Resources Mentioned: Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y   If this topic interests you, check out Richard Foster’s Freedom ofSimplicity: Finding Harmony in a Complex World: https://amzn.to/3OdR9bn    

There are few fears more gripping to a parent than the thought that one of their children might get sick... really sick. Sick to the point of real suffering. Sick to the point of no answers. Sick to the point of death. This is something we’ve been walking through as a family for eight years now. Having experienced the dreaded diagnosis of Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia, having walked through years of bad news, good news, injections, and hospitalizations, I want to offer some wisdom that we’ve gained along the way. Resources Mentioned: Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y

One of the common feelings shared by our children is "I feel like I don't fit in.” The truth is this feeling doesn’t go away just because we become adults.   I've been thinking about that...   From my personal experience and from over 20 years as a pastor, I have come to believe that "I don't fit in" is a more common feeling than "I fit in". 
 Today I share thoughts on why I think this feeling is a part of the curse, and how the Gospel is the cure.   Resources Mentioned: Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y

Fear of failure as a parent can paralyze a mom or dad. In my new “What if…?” series I look at the reality of our parental failure through the lens of the gospel. We talk about:   1. Why many of our failures don’t matter 2. The reality that there will be many times when you really blow it 3. How to view your failure in the light of the gospel.   Failure is not the last word, and God can use our worst moments to shape some of the best character qualities in our children.   Resources Mentioned: Sign up for my Things for Thursday Email: https://tinyurl.com/292kv68y

According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, about 74 percent of adults in the United States are overweight. After 10 years of marriage and five pregnancies, Amber Lia, a former college athlete and recreational bodybuilder, found herself to be one of them. Feeling ashamed of her physical state and knowing that she could and should do better—for herself, her husband, and her children—she embarked on a journey to reclaim her health, one unhealthy pattern at a time. We discuss her journey to spiritual and physical health, understanding the importance of your “why”, identifying food triggers, and learning to replace unhealthy habits with healthy ones.   Amber Lia is an independent certified health coach who has been on her own transformative health journey. She has written and coauthored several books, including Marriage Triggers and the bestselling parenting book, Triggers. A former high-school English teacher, Amber is a sought-after mentor for women and a regular contributing writer for The

Pastor and author Jonathan Pitts joins me once again, this time to talk about the growth and adjustments from his newly blended family. We discuss setting-but also adapting-expectations, the mix of grief and joy in a blended family, and giving one another grace with feelings and emotions.   Jonathan Pitts is an author, speaker and the executive pastor at Church of the City in Franklin, Tennessee. He previously served as the executive director at the Urban Alternative, the national ministry of Dr. Tony Evans. Jonathan has co-authored two books alongside his late wife, Wynter Pitts. He is also President and co-founder of For Girls Like You Ministries, an equipping and resourcing ministry for tween girls and their parents. Jonathan is the father of four daughters and is blessed to be newly married to his wife Pita Pitts.   Resources Mentioned: Sign Up for My Things For Thursday Email - https://bit.ly/3EDH56y Jonathon’s Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/pittsjr26/?hl=en The Journey Podcast - https:/

Parenting doesn’t stop just because your children turn 18. But it sure can be confusing! Willow Sanders joins me to talk about the transitions from boss to coach to advisor that a parent must make over the years. We share our struggles and encouragements as we seek to navigate the challenges of parenting adult children in a healthy way.   Willow Sanders is the director of Student Services and Protect the Heart Ministries for CareNet of the Treasure Coast. Willow has served the Treasure Coast for over 2 decades and has two adult sons.   Resources Mentioned: Sign Up for My Things For Thursday Email - https://bit.ly/3EDH56y https://protecttheheart.org Talking to Your Children about Sex with Willow Sanders - https://letsparentonpurpose.com/2018/03/18/talking-to-your-children-about- sex/

Family worship is one of the most transformative habits a family can have. It’s also very intimidating to most moms and dads. Dr. Rob Rienow, founder of Visionary Families, helps simplify the process of starting and continuing family worship. With a simple toolbox of prayer, Bible reading, and other elements, you can implement a healthy habit of family worship in your home no matter the age of your children.   Dr. Rob Rienow’s most important ministry is loving his wife Amy and partnering with her to lead their seven children to love God. He is the founder of Visionary Family Ministries (www.visionaryfam.com), a pastor, international conference speaker, and the author of several books including Visionary Parenting and Visionary Marriage. When Rob is not fishing for men, he enjoys fishing for fish. The Rienow family lives in West Chicago, IL.   Resources Mentioned: www.VisionaryFam.com www.Facebook.com/VisionaryFam www.Twitter.com/VisionaryFam www.YouTube.com/visionaryfamilyministries PODCAST www.VisionaryFam

When Stacy Callender was a young mom she felt burdened as her children entered public school. This burden led her to join a Moms in Prayer group that changed the trajectory of her life, family, and mission. Stacy and I talk about the work of God through prayer, and how we grow in courage and faith by consistency praying with others. You can’t help but be encouraged as you listen to Stacy’s story and her infectious joy!   Stacy Callender is the host of the Moms in Prayer podcast. She has been involved in a Moms in Prayer group since her oldest child started kindergarten in 1999. She has served as the Southern California State Coordinator, and also in Women’s Ministry at her local church. She and her husband, Scott, live in Southern California where they have raised their four children, Megan, Bryce, Madison and Brendan. During her free time, Stacy can be found eating Mexican food, hiking, reading or bargain hunting. Resources Mentioned: • Sign Up for My Things For Thursday Email - https://bit.ly/3EDH56y • Moms

It’s a challenge to balance boundaries and freedom, adventure and responsibility when raising a boy. My guest Monica Swanson shares here experience of raising boys who are sensitive to the things of Jesus while still being strong and capable in the face of the world’s trials. She gives examples of success and failures in her process as well as her insight into creating a “character training course” for her son when he needed extra focus.   Monica Swanson is the author of the Boy Mom book and a blogger at monicaswanson.com. She shares encouragement and inspiration for raising boys in today's world. Monica shares practical advice and biblical wisdom through honest conversations, interviews with other boy moms, and light-hearted humor.   Resources Mentioned: www.monicaswanson.com The Boy Mom Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-boy-mom-podcast-withmonica-swanson-and-friends/id1468061855 Boy Mom- What Your Son Needs Most From You - https://amzn.to/3H3d7t2 Sign Up for My Things For Thursday Ema

Sometimes our worst fears in parenting do come true. When Daniel and Kelly Crawford were pregnant with their first son Abel, they learned that he had a life limiting diagnosis. Directed to find services to terminate the pregnancy, they instead chose to carry their little boy to birth. They were gifted fifteen days with their little Abel. Their experience led them to reach out and minister to other families facing similar scenarios. It also gave them perspective as they raise their other special needs children. This is an honest yet hope filled conversation about the sadness and sweetness of dying dreams and and an enduring gospel hope.   Daniel and Kelly Crawford have been married since December 2013 and reside in Dallas, Texas. They have three children (Abel, Mayfield, and Deacon) who were all born on the exact same day in 2016, 2017, and 2019. Yes, January 22 is a big day at the Crawford house! They co- founded Abel Speaks in 2018 to support families who have chosen to carry a child with a life-limiting

When Steven and Mary Beth Chapman took their 11 year old daughter Emily on a mission trip to Haiti, it changed the trajectory of their family. A burden to adopt started with Emily and spread to each family member. As the Chapmans adopted three children from China, God connected them with other families that needed support in their own adoption journeys. 8,000 children later, Show Hope is still resourcing moms and dads to enlarge their forever families. Mary Beth joins me to share their story as well as her incredible wisdom for others who are at every step of the adoption process. This is a conversation for more than just adoptive families. It takes a practical and spiritual village to adopt a child!   Steven and Mary Beth were married in October of 1984 and have six children – three biological children, Emily Chapman Richards (married to Tanner and mom to three daughters Eiley, Della, and Verity), Caleb Chapman (married to Julia and dad to son Noble and daughter Olive "Ollie"), and Will Franklin Chap

Kids and teens are more stressed than ever. As our world bombards them with social media, bad news, and inescapable connectedness, researchers are finding depression and anxiety rates are higher than ever. Author and counselor Eliza Huie joins me once again with great practical advice for moms and dads on fostering emotional health in every stage of their children’s lives. We talk about the importance of nurture, understanding your child’s capacity, regarding their feelings, cultivating hope, and knowing when and how to get help.   Eliza is a counselor, author, speaker, and trainer committed to providing care and resources for the whole person. Trained both biblically and clinically, she understands the complexities people face in their spiritual, emotional, and physical lives.   She holds a Master of Arts in Counseling and has advanced certificates in biblical counseling from The Christian Counseling Educational Foundation (CCEF) and The Association of Biblical Counselors (ABC). She is also a licensed cl

Our culture is obsessed with influencers and leadership, but parents often forget that their primary opportunity for leadership and influence is in their own household. My guests Jeff and Terra Mattson talk with me about the distance between what we say and what we do in our families, and how that damages our credibility. We discuss the necessity to recognize the influence of our own childhood families, the importance of grieving trauma and loss, and empathizing even when we don’t agree with the other side.   Jeff and Terra are a husband and wife team who co-founder of Living Wholehearted, LLC, a professional counseling and organizational consulting firm outside of Portland, Oregon and a global movement for moms and daughters called Courageous Girls. Terra is a licensed marriage & family therapist and executive coach with over twenty years of clinical and ministry experience. She is the author of Courageous: Being Daughters Rooted in Grace and the visionary and curriculum developer for Courageous Girl

What if you could go back in a time machine and give your young parenting self some advice?  My guest Cynthia Yanof and I talk about this very idea on today’s episode. As Cynthia watched her little one play on the playground, she thought about the lessons she could teach her younger self based on how the children were playing. We talk through her excellent advice and how we are still in the process of growing, learning, and fumbling forward on our parenting journey.   Cynthia Yanof is a wife, mom, blogger, and the host of the Pardon the Mess podcast. She has a relaxed style of interviewing, combining her quick wit and sense of humor with a firm commitment to never taking herself too seriously.   She loves Jesus, her family, foster care, and having lots of friends around her as often as possible. Cynthia is relatable, real, and a friend to all of us just trying to walk the parenting road in a meaningful way that’s pleasing to the Lord.   Resources Mentioned:  Sign Up for My Things For Thursday Email - https:/