Let's Parent On Purpose

Sometimes our expectations for our families are just way beyond reality. My guest Lisa Clark reminds us that we are all just sinners raising sinners, still in the process of transformation by the gospel of Jesus. We talk about expectations, personality differences among children, settings habits for a thriving family, and what to do if a child is rejecting the faith.   Lisa is married to Brad, her husband of 35 years. She and Brad co-teach a young married life group at their home church in Plano, TX. They have two daughters, Caroline and Camryn. Grounded in God’s Word, Lisa has a passion for encouraging moms in the day-to-day struggles of parenting preteens and teens. This passion and mission led her to write her very First book in 2016, Raising Sinners. Raising Sinners is a biblical parenting, short story written for moms and dads in all stages of parenting. Lisa also hosts two podcasts - Wonder and Raising Sinners, both with her cohost Chrissie Dunham.    Resources Mentioned: Sign Up for My Things For Thurs

We want our home to be a place of peace and stability, but sometimes external and internal dynamics make this extremely challenging. Virgil Tanner and his wife Joy have parented their children on three continents in a variety of difficult circumstances. Today he shares how they learned to order their family stability around regular prayer and the family sabbath. Learn how he took a two thousand year old Christian tradition and adapted it to engage his little ones, teenagers, and the adults in their household. The practice has helped them thrive in the midst of shaky governments, cultural chaos, and personal tragedy.   Virgil Tanner has been married for 20 years and is a father of five. He has lived on three continents and currently oversees strategy and global operations for a non-profit with hundreds of staff scattered all over the world.   Resources Mentioned: Celtic Daily Prayer - https://amzn.to/30M74JZ Northumbria Online Prayer Community - https:// www.northumbriacommunity.org/offices/how-to-use-daily-o

The pornography industry makes more money than the NBA, NFL, MLB, and NHL combined. Porn is hunting for every member of our family, and the effects on the body of Christ are devastating. There is no greater obstacle we face when it comes to discipleship, spiritual leadership, relational and spiritual health than the enslavement of porn addiction. Today Ted Shimer joins me to talk about the grim realities happening in our families. He then shares the hope that comes when combining spiritual principles with brain science to bring men, women, and our children lasting freedom from the grip of pornography.   Bio: Ted Shimer has mentored men since 1991 with the collegiate ministry Student Mobilization. He received his MABS from Dallas Seminary and has been trained as a Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional-Supervisor. Ted has helped people overcome the bondage of pornography in the context of making disciples. He is the Founder of The Freedom Fight, an online porn addiction recovery program. He is also the author of

More than any other period in our lifetime, the world seems to be swirling in chaos. On top of that, many of us have personal crisis or perpetual responsibilities that leave us traumatized. Today I talk with Virgil Tanner about two strategies for centering on Christ in the midst of a chaotic world. The first strategy is for long term soul health. The second strategy can be adapted to acute times of crisis to keep us from spiraling out of control.   Virgil’s Framework The Five Dimensions of the Human Soul, and the three areas to address with each: Spiritual: Alone, With Others, Working in the World Physical: Eat, Move, Recover Cognitive: Learn, Focus, Play Emotional: Notice, Interview, Manage Relational: Discern, Invest, Grow   Virgil Tanner has been married for 20 years and is a father of five. He has lived on three continents and currently oversees strategy and global operations for a non-profit with hundreds of staff scattered all over the world.   Resources Mentioned: Centering on Christ, Caring for Your S

If we want to change our families, we can do so by concentrating on one habit at a time. Today I brainstorm several potential family habits to consider for 2022, and encourage you to pick ONE new one to ingrain in your lives.   Habits: Prayer Morning Time Meal Time Drive Time Bed Time The Word Read at dinner The Bible App Devotions Verse of the Week or Month Dinner together Minimum times per week do Roses and Thorns Make one night a week a special night of worship or blessing Read the Word Family Worship Invite Grandparents to bless their grandchildren Pick one night a week or month to practice hospitality Be a Blessing Family service project Adopt an orphan Adopt a spiritual orphan Adopt a single person or widow Serve at Church Together Give Generously    Resources Mentioned: Sign Up for My Things For Thursday Email - https://bit.ly/3EDH56y Northumbria Prayer times - https://www.northumbriacommunity.org/offices/morning-prayer/

When charcoal is grouped together it burns hot and does its job. When you remove a briquette from the fire, it goes cold. In this short devotional I give a simple explanation for the importance of staying connected to the Body of Christ, in a manner that you can easily demonstrate with your family. Sign Up for My Things For Thursday Email - https://bit.ly/3EDH56y

People are different, and because of that, discipleship does not always look the same. It’s not a step by step process, and just because our children have “caught” one area of discipleship we cannot expect the “next” one will come naturally. In this short devotion, I share how we can give room for differences and encourage the good we see growing in each family member.   Sign Up for My Things For Thursday Email - https://bit.ly/3EDH56y 

As we get near Christmastime, its a wonderful time of year to review a perpetual quandary of our modern age: How to we teach our children contentment when they are surrounded by unrelenting advertisements for more and more stuff. Today I revisit an early episode where we talk about a three part strategy for teaching contentment in the home.   1. Teach Perspective 2. Take Responsibility for Others 3. Live More By Having Less  Sign Up for My Things For Thursday Email - https://bit.ly/3EDH56y   

We’re entering the season filled with awe, wonder, gratitude, and dread. It’s that time of year where we get to spend time with family we love. Sometimes, we get to spend time with family who are easier to love at a distance. Let’s be honest, just because we grew up together doesn’t mean we now have the same worldview, parenting styles, standards, goals, or aspirations. And sometimes we love every member of our family, and are mostly on the same page as them, but it’s just overwhelming when they all get together at once. Today I give you a handy guide to having less stress, more fun, and perhaps even eternally significant extended family gatherings this Thanksgiving and Christmas.   1. Release yourself from the guilt of thinking you’re going to please everybody. 2. Stop sabotaging the peace of all of the days leading up to your family gathering. 3. Make a plan. Aim to stick with your plan. Walk in grace when you cannot stick to your plan. • “How am I going to calendar these next few weeks with enough margin t

Revisiting one of my favorite early episodes, I lay out principles that will help you win the hearts of your family and influence the culture of your home. Based on principles form Dale Carnegie’s classic How to Win Friends and Influence People, I share three principles that can help lower defensiveness and increase the willingness of each member of your household to do their best for one another. When it’s all said and done, these principles are nothing more than an exposition of the golden rule “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. 

At some point every single one of us is going to experience a Category 5 crisis in our life. When our worst fears are realized, we face the challenge of processing what we believe about God. We also need to figure out what to do next. Today I revisit one of my early LPOP topics, sparked by our preparation for a potential Category 5 hurricane pointed at our town. I now consider the words I wrote in light of our family’s current crisis, the relapse of my son’s leukemia.    Resources Mentioned:  Sign Up for My Things For Thursday Email - https://bit.ly/3EDH56y My Blog: What if it’s a Category 5 

As we celebrate 250 episodes and nearly five years of the Let’s Parent on Purpose podcast, my friend Jenny Price interviews me about my favorite things, serving through suffering, and keeping our family on mission. You’ll learn how Emily and I set parameters to grow in trust in our young marriage. How do I refill and recharge from work and family? Also, what is the most ridiculous, petty thing I would do if money were no object?   • Sign Up for My Things For Thursday Email - https://bit.ly/3EDH56y • My Sermon on Psalm 127 - http://covenantfellowship.com/pages/ page.asp?page_id=374128&programId=277574 • My favorite novel - https://amzn.to/3Ce3hCV

We spend a great deal of time lamenting the messes in our lives: our homes are cluttered, our bank account stressed, and our commitments overwhelming. But the mess is often indicative of the abundant life God has given us. This devotion from Proverbs 14:4 reminds us to be thankful in the midst of the mess as we look forward to the day when Jesus ultimately makes all things new.   • Sign Up for My Things For Thursday Email - https://bit.ly/3EDH56y • www.helptheaddictedchild.com 

One of the greatest fears shared by moms and dads around the world is their child becoming addicted to drugs. While the motivations for using and abusing alcohol and drugs have largely stayed the same, the actual substances continue to evolve, and their availability keeps increasing. Richard Capriola is the author of The Addicted Child: A Parents Guide to Adolescent Substance Abuse. He joins me to talk about the brain changes that happen with drug use, the most prevalent substances used by teens today, what to do if you find your teen using, and where to go for help if your child is addicted.   Richard Capriola has been a mental health and substance abuse counselor for over two decades. He recently retired from Menninger Clinic in Houston Texas where for over a decade he treated adolescents and adults diagnosed with mental health and substance abuse diagnoses. He is the author of The Addicted Child: A Parent's Guide to Adolescent substance abuse which is available on Amazon and from the book's website

One of the most common conversations I have is helping parents determine what to do when their child doesn’t want to come to church. The reasons are as varied as the child, and we want to make sure we understand why they might hate church before we jump to our response. Today I go through many different reasons why our children might not like church, as well as several possible solutions for you to encourage their love of the church and enjoyment of the services.   Sign Up for My Things For Thursday Email - https://bit.ly/3EDH56y 

As we pray and ask God to intervene in our lives, sometimes in our lives, sometimes we see miraculous breakthrough. But often either nothing happens or we experience the very opposite of what we were praying. In times like this, many people walk away from their faith. How are we to keep our faith in Jesus when things go so wrong? I posed this question to Dr. Samuel Thomas of Hopegivers. Dr. Thomas is no stranger to suffering, as his life of service to the orphan, widow, and unreached of India has lead to assassination attempts, jail, and sorrow upon sorrow. Hear Dr. Thomas’ inspiring answer, given from a perspective forged in the fire of trusting Jesus when you have nothing else to cling to.   Dr. Samuel Thomas is known throughout India as a leading humanitarian. As president and CEO of Hopegivers, Dr. Thomas helps connect those with a ministry heart in the western world with those in greatest need in India and South Asia. The ministry of Hopegivers, started by Dr. Thomas’ father M.A. Thomas, has planted over

Nontraditional families are the new traditional family. In the United States, most of Europe, and many other countries, blended families outnumber “traditional” ones. The challenges of a blended family are magnitudes higher than what most couples anticipate. My guest Ron L. Deal is one of the Christian world’s foremost experts on blended families. He shares many of the unexpected challenges a blended family will face, as well as practical tools to help your family thrive and honor God.   Ron L. Deal is one of the most widely read and viewed experts on blended families in the country. He is president of Smart Stepfamilies, directs the blended family ministry at FamilyLife, and is the author of more than a dozen books and resources, including the bestselling The Smart Stepfamily and Building Love Together in Blended Families (with Dr. Gary Chapman). Ron is a licensed marriage and family therapist, popular conference speaker, and host of the podcast FamilyLife Blended with Ron Deal. He and his wife, Nan, have be

Seven years after his initial diagnosis for Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia,my son Elijah has relapsed. In this episode I share the details of how we found out, an explanation of leukemia and treatment, as well as the potential road ahead for our family. I also share the very real emotions we are struggling through, how God had spiritually prepared me through scripture, and how our family is seeking to help Elijah see this crisis as an open door for the work of Jesus. In hearing our story, by God’s grace you will see how God also wants you to look for the open door for Jesus in the midst of your crisis. Losing a Child isn’t the Last Word with Diana Grounds: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lets-parent-on-purpose-with-jay-holland/id1190973394?i=1000502221159 Finding a Mission in the Midst of Chemotherapy with Elijah Holland: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/235-finding-a-mission-in-the-midst-of/id1190973394?i=1000529205324 Elijah’s No Longer Orphans Chemo Challenge: https://www.flipcause.com/secure/

Behavior should make us curious. As we seek to discern the motive behind our children’s behavior, we can more effectively match the behavior to a consequence that will guide them towards healthy decisions. I’m joined by my church’s Children’s Ministry Director, Caroline Todd, as we discuss four different functions behind our kid’s behavior. Caroline discusses sensory seeking behavior, escape behavior, attention-seeking behavior, and tangible behavior. As we get better at identifying the motive behind our kids’ actions, we can make better plans for redirecting, correcting, or reinforcing negative and positive behavior. These skills will help you with your own children, in a classroom setting, and might even give you insight on how to better love your spouse!   Caroline Todd is the Director of Children’s Ministry at Covenant Fellowship Baptist Church. She is a graduate of Palm Beach Atlantic University with a degree in Psychology and a minor in Special Education. Before serving at Covenant, Caroline worked as a

As I begin a new series called “Hard Conversations”, Pastor Matt Price and I discuss Paul’s instructions for husbands, wives, children, slaves, and masters. We compare the Colossians 3 and Ephesians 5 texts, and set the stage for the Roman family and slave culture that permitted the New Testament world. Matt and I talk about how these text call every believer to first view their world through the lease of the gospel and not their power dynamic. We also speak to recent and historical abuses of this text. Pauls words were not meant to be a weapon used against another individual, but a call to live with meaning and dignity, remembering that we will all give an account to God for the way we loved one another.   Matt Price is the senior pastor of Covenant Fellowship Baptist Church in Stuart, Florida, where he has served for 25 years. Matt and his wife Jenny have been married for 30 years and have five biological and adoptive children. They have fostered a local church environment centered on the gospel, service, a