Ross O'carroll-kelly @ The Irish Times

A letter from Munster Rugby leaves Ross's old man pacing the floor. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The third and final excerpt from 'Schmidt Happens', the eighteenth novel in Paul Howard's 'Ross O'Carroll-Kelly' series. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The second of three exclusive excerpts from 'Schmidt Happens', the eighteenth novel in Paul Howard's 'Ross O'Carroll-Kelly' series. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The first of three exclusive excerpts from 'Schmidt Happens', the eighteenth novel in Paul Howard's 'Ross O'Carroll-Kelly' series. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In an extract from his new book, Schmidt Happens, Ross O’Carroll-Kelly has taken on his toughest job yet – coaching the Facebook tag rugby team for their annual summer match against Google. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Ross doesn’t like what he sees when he visits Ronan at work for some lunchtime pints. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The dog is for the chop until Ross channels his inner rugby captain. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Christian is horrified to find his Wagyu steak looks tougher than Billy Vunipola. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A dickhead of a smoke alorm ruins Ross’s night and leads him to a surprising discovery... See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Ro learns how to handle found goods, from the master, Hennessy See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The old man got more than he bargained for when he bought a Lambo at a Cab auction See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

I have to remember to treat them all equally, even though one of them is clearly never going to play Leinster Schools Senior Cup rugby due to being basically half-blind. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

My daughter had previously told me that being seen to care is a sign of weakness See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

‘Do you know how embarrassing it is to live in Killiney and have to drive stick shift?’ See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

I end up carrying Leo in to the ophthamologist. I don’t know why – there’s fock-all wrong with his legs. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

She walks into the kitchen and storts looking at Leo in a suddenly strange way See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

‘Your accent has gone full Colin Farrell from Intermission since we passed the turn-off for Newtownmountkennedy’ See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Rosston College has an eventful first day with the triplets out of Montessori. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

It wouldn’t be an uncommon occurrence for me and Sorcha to find ourselves in a school principal’s office having to apologise for the behaviour of our children. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Honor is at a birthday party – what usually follows is a solicitor’s letter See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.