Over It And On With It

It's the holiday season which means you may be around some people that push your buttons. One of the best ways to avoid getting too many buttons pushed is setting healthy boundaries. But what exactly are healthy boundaries? When do we set them? And how do we do it in a way that is loving? These are the questions I answer in today's episode.

This episode is about healing our traumas while raising children. Today’s caller, Nicole, says her children and home responsibilities are triggering her trauma. She is constantly in survival mode. She asks for guidance on how to relieve her anxiety and overwhelm. Christine offers tips for how to set healthy boundaries and regulate her nervous system.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode378]   Often, there are places inside of us that are still unhealed and that are still tender. We have managed those tender parts but haven’t ever transformed. It’s a huge distinction between what brings peace and contentment in life and what just gets us through the day. So many of us have had a painful past that we have learned to manage or sweep under the rug, or we’ve distracted ourselves with work or taking care of others and haven’t really, truly taken care of ourselves.   Our past trauma, past issues, and challenges are not forefront every day but we aren’t living to our fullest potential. The deepest

Athena Grace is now nearly nine months old and I'm finally ready to share the story of her birth. It was the most empowering and intense experience of my life and I'm deeply grateful to have delivered her at home. Stef joins me for the episode as he was o

This episode is about being open to opportunities by eliminating the walls we have up. Today’s caller, Rich, feels blocked in building his coaching practice but the session is not so much about building his coaching practice but about him becoming his own best client because his biggest blocks are his own beliefs and unresolved hurts.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode377]   We are told many things in our lives. Some of those things are not always positive. We tend to take on criticism much more than the compliments and acknowledgments we were given. Especially if that criticism came from a parent or any authority figure. Those criticisms from our past repeat like a broken record in our heads and impact our future. So, instead of living the life we want, we keep listening to the old story.   Whose voice is in your head that you have adopted as your own? It is time to give that voice back and not allow it to define you.   How we do anything is how we do everything. Many times we try to ch

This is the final episode of a three-part couples coaching series with Claire and Jimmy together. In today’s call, Christine asks both Claire and Jimmy how they can acknowledge and appreciate each other more while empowering them to take responsibility for their childhood wounds and how they are playing out in their relationship.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode376]   If you are in a relationship and you find yourself continuing to loop on the same argument over and over again, dig a little deeper to discover what is underneath it. Figure out where you may not be taking responsibility for your stuff and whether you are expecting your partner to heal it. Also, ask yourself where you may not be compassionate for their stuff and where you may be missing the ways they show up for you, and how you can appreciate it more.   It is not our job in a relationship to heal our partner’s wounds but it is our responsibility as a loving, conscious partner to understand and empathize with them. It’s n

Krista St-Germain is a Master Certified Life Coach, Post-Traumatic Growth and grief expert, widow, mom and host of The Widowed Mom Podcast. When her husband was killed by a drunk driver in 2016, Krista’s life was completely and unexpectedly flipped upside down. After therapy helped her uncurl from the fetal position, Krista discovered Life Coaching, Post Traumatic Growth and learned the tools she needed to move forward and create a future she could get excited about. Now she coaches and teaches other widows so they can love life again, too. 

This episode is the second of a three-part couples coaching series. Christine coaches Claire and Jimmy separately, and then together in Part 3. In today’s call, with Jimmy, she explores the things from his childhood that may make commitment a bit hard for him.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode375]   It is okay if we have conflict. It is okay if plans need to be rearranged. It is okay if you unintentionally disappoint someone. There is a difference between promising someone you will be somewhere and not showing up versus having to renegotiate an agreement.   It is reframing conflict into clarification. Because not every situation, conversation, or engagement with someone that we think is going to be stressful is. If we go in thinking something is going to be confrontational, that the other person is going to be upset, or that it is not going to go well, we limit the possibilities. But if we go in seeking clarification, or as a renegotiation of a commitment, then it becomes an entirely di

An enlightening psychologist and national speaker, Dr. Marisa G Franco is known for digesting and communicating science in ways that resonate deeply enough with people to change their lives. She works as a professor at The University of Maryland and her forthcoming book Platonic: How The Science of AttachmentCan Help You Make—and Keep—Friends debuts with Penguin Random House in September 2022. She writes about friendship for Psychology Today and has been a featured connection expert for major publications like The New York Times, The Telegraph, and Vice. She speaks on belonging across the country.

This episode is the first of a three-part couples coaching series. Christine coaches Claire and Jimmy separately, and then together in Part 3. In today’s call, Claire reveals she would like Jimmy to make plans with her and make her a priority in his life. Christine uncovers some childhood patterns that may be at play in Claire’s current relationship.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode374]   When there is something that is bothering us and we are unable to shift it, we need to dig deeper. It is normal for us to be able to identify what is going on with someone else yet still to be blind to our own blocks. When we finally see it we realize how obvious it was but it is hard to see. We often just want to notice the current problem and fix our relationship, versus going back to see what it reminds us of in our past.   Things in our lives will continue to be frustrating until we unpack the message they are illuminating.   When we take the time to work on ourselves first, often it offers more c

Christine's husband Stef who is a breathwork facilitator joins her to talk about the incredibly powerful modality of breathwork. Learn more about what breathwork is and how it may help you to tap into deeper levels of healing and freedom.   If you want to join Stef and Christine for their next breathwork event, go here: https://stefanossifandos.com/feminine/   And if you are interested in their breathwork and meditation program, go here: https://christinehassler.com/breathwork

This episode is about trusting our intuition and keeping others’ voices out of our heads. Today’s caller, Hannah, has made a clear decision to do something for herself. Yet, doubts are creeping in due to the opinions of others. If you have a gut feeling about something and other people are doubting you or you want to get to the place where you can trust your own inner knowing, this call will be extremely helpful.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode373]   You do not owe anyone an explanation for your decisions. If your decisions directly impact others, then a discussion is necessary. But, when you make personal decisions that only impact you, it is nobody else’s business but yours.   And on the flip side, we need to respect other people’s choices even if we wouldn’t make the same ones.   When people are not respecting our boundaries, it is imperative we create a distance from them. And, just because someone is a family member, doesn’t give them the right to have unlimited opinions about ou

Have you forgotten who you truly are? Are you caught up in some self-doubt, guilt, loneliness, sadness or disappointment? Could you use a reminder of how lovable you are? Then don't miss this episode where Christine speaks straight to your heart.

This episode is about how loving actions help us heal. Today’s caller, Jada, was never shown love in childhood and wants to know how she can learn to love herself. When we don’t have loving stable parenting, we are at a disadvantage. But, people who have had a disadvantaged childhood and have done the work to heal it, find a force, love, and momentum that is unstoppable.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode372]   Growing up without a role model for what love feels like is akin to growing up in a house with only one language. Would you expect yourself to speak another language naturally? Would it just appear in your brain? No. When we don’t have models for what love is, it is hard to access love; it is hard to know what true healthy love is without other people. It makes it hard to access self-love as well.   When something bad happens, many people say that the experience has made them stronger and more resilient. But what that translates to is the experiences they endured created walls to

This episode is about accepting where we are in life and enjoying it to the fullest. Today’s caller, Lindsey, has wanted to find a partner to share her life with for a long time. She has done personal development work but still believes she needs to fix herself before calling in a partner. We work through ways she can trust life, trust divine timing, and enjoy her life.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode371]   When we have hindsight, it is easy to move into acceptance. We look back and consider that something happened for a reason it makes it easier to accept. When we have to accept something, or we choose to accept something that isn’t what we want, that is when the real spiritual ninja work comes in.   The constant trying to figure out why — which is something we all do to some degree — we don’t have something we want or something in our life isn’t working. We pick ourselves apart with a fine-toothed comb trying to find the reason. Because if we find the reason, it gives us control and

If you feel like you have done lots of personal development work yet certain patterns or issues keep coming back, then don't miss this episode! Christine explains why you must plant flowers after you weed your consciousness and break circuits that are currently running your mental programming.

This episode is about the protective patterns we create when we don’t feel safe. Today’s caller, Amanda, says she wants guidance on how to access her sensuality but the core issue is truly about how she can feel safe and be vulnerable. We can’t feel safe in our sexuality or sensuality unless we feel safe in our vulnerability.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode370]   When women don’t feel safe in their bodies we tend to go into our heads. We talk, talk, talk, and don’t notice what is going on in our bodies. As human beings, we are a combination of doing and being, flowing and going, masculine and feminine, sensual and productive, right and left. So, one of our biggest turn-ons is safety. If we feel safe, we can let go. If we don’t feel safe, forget about it. We need to learn that it is safe to feel and to be emotionally vulnerable.   When we attempt to make changes while in frustration, it is important to shift into vulnerability and full self-expression. We need to accept all aspects of

This episode is about upper limiting and discerning deal breakers versus growth opportunities in relationships. Everything seems to be finally working out for today’s caller, Daria, but she is having difficulty accepting it and her fiance. She asks for guidance on how to break existing patterns to make sure she doesn’t self-sabotage herself or her relationship.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode369]   It is very common that once we start to get the things we want, we start to wonder if we deserve them and if they are fleeting. We often have unexpected feelings when things start to go well.   When the hormones and infatuation of a new relationship wear off, in the realness of a relationship, there may be things about our partner that we don’t like. In most relationships, there are things about our partners we just don’t like and that we want to change. These things fall into several categories but more definitive would be to think of them as deal breakers or growth opportunities.   There

Author, speaker, teacher and force of love Danielle LaPorte joins Christine to dive deep into inner child work, forgiveness, radiance, choosing higher quality thoughts and so much more. Make sure to get her new book  How To Be Loving: As Your Heart is Breaking Open and Our World is Waking Up which is a nuanced perspective on the life-changing power of Self Compassion, shadow work and being more receptive to Higher Guidance. This is a guide on how to use the genius of your heart to create conditions for healing.   Learn more at https://daniellelaporte.com/

This episode is about being the parent you always wanted and wanted to be. Today’s caller, Carrie, wants to repair a strained relationship with her children. She feels shame about her past behaviors and wants guidance on how to build a connection with them and their children. There is a lot of vulnerability and courage in this honest conversation.   It can be scary to be a generational pattern breaker and it takes a lot of courage to follow through but it can transform our relationships.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode368]   Many parents carry around a silent shame about some of the choices they made as parents. Parenting is hard. It doesn’t come with a manual. Creating a healthy environment for our children is challenging when we don’t have good parenting ourselves. We are still impacted by our trauma and our hurt; it can feel impossible not to pass it on.   The hard part about trauma, or behavior we categorize as hurtful or bad, is that it is not due to anyone setting out to hurt an

This episode is about navigating a relationship with a new baby coming. Today’s caller, Cassie, is about to have a child but is uncertain about staying with the baby’s father. She would like guidance about how to feel supported emotionally and financially during this trying time.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode367]   It is difficult enough for women who are becoming new mothers but for them to not have support can be really challenging. But, on the other hand, couples who stay together for the children who are not in a healthy relationship don’t have kids that turn out any better than the kids whose parents got divorced. Kids pick up on unhealthy relationships when they are not aligned and may model their future relationships on them.   When a baby comes, it transforms and changes a relationship. The focus of attention is on the baby and not as much on the partners. That is why it is important to have clear agreements in place about parenting responsibilities before a child is born.