Turning This Car Around

This week we talk about gear. Eventually. We start by talking about underwear, which is not exactly gear but we'll get to it. ThinkGeek has some underwear for the child in every dad. Then we talk about Frozen which is also not gear but is very popular with the kids these days, as is the LEGO Movie. Jon recommends Bullfrog sunscreen spray for applying to wiggling children (we're getting closer to gear). Lex recommends stick sunscreen for their precious faces that are screaming at you because you're trying to save them from skin cancer. Finally, we start talking about gear. Moltz and his wife had their car seats checked out by a local hospital so look around, there should be someone who can help you make sure you've got them in correctly. Jon recommends the Nissan Xterra (sadly, there's no Amazon affiliate link for that), even though it's not great for carseats. Dads with more than one kid recommend a membership to Sam's Club, BJ's or Costco. Parents of one kid are less enthusiastic but still supportive. The da

First, some follow up from last episode. The artist who did the covers of the Gor books was Boris Vallejo, not Frank Frazetta. We spend about half the episode talking about his art. And sort of how it relates to parenting. Kind of. A little. Here's the centaur picture, which is totally relevant to parenting, as is the hawkman picture. As it turns out, the author of the Gor series wrote a book about sex. Then we talk about Mario Kart. What is this episode about? Jon and Moltz continue to talk about Boris Vallejo until Lex tells the story of how he stole a Playboy. Speaking of porn, Moltz uses OpenDNS to filter his son's devices. Jon tells the story of how his daughter overcame her fear and touched White Snake. Oh, sorry, a white snake. And we end still not knowing what this episode was about. Which is a metaphor for life. Please take a few minutes to complete a short survey that will help keep this podcast and other podcasts you might enjoy running and might win you a $100 Amazon gift card. Follow us: @ttcasho

We continue our discussion of summertime. Lex and Moltz do an impromptu review of the current summer blockbuster movie Godzilla (mild on the spoilers) which has the guy from Breaking Bad in it. There's a little confusion between Godzilla 2000 and the Matthew Broderick Godzilla. Jon and Moltz both recommend The Way, Way Back, a great summer movie appropriate for teens and up. Jon's summer travel growing up involved a styrofoam cooler while Moltz's involved Mad Libs. Lex's family trips were saved by the Walkman. Jon's summer reading was the Gorean Saga which causes Jon and Moltz to school Lex in the magic of Frank Frazetta who sadly passed away in 2010. We close with a discussion on how to use fireworks which Jon is very passionate about. Sponsors: Our thanks to Care.com for sponsoring this episode. Care.com helps you find any kind of care help you need: babysitters, nannies, dog walkers and elder care. Care.com provides detailed references and reviews and takes the uncertainty out of the process. Click this sp

Once again we ask our listeners to complete a short survey that will help keep this podcast and other podcasts you might enjoy running. And you could win a $100 Amazon gift card. What other reason do you need than self interest? Not to disagree with Game of Thrones, but summer is coming. Do you have a plan? You could send your kids to YMCA camp. But swim camp is maybe a better option if you can find one. Lex, however, does not recommend owning a pool. When the dads were kids, during the summer Jon did Boy Scouts, Moltz went to gymnastic camp and Lex went to "learning about sex and drugs" camp where he eventually worked as a counselor. You can learn a lot at camp. For example, Moltz learned that you can light a fart on fire. Jon then explains the term "blue darting". Lex learned about blow jobs. Just about them. Jon learned about killing a rabbit which, sadly, is not a euphemism for blow jobs. Follow us: @ttcashow. Lex Friedman can be found @lexfri, John Moltz can be found @Moltz and Jon Armstrong is @blurb.

In honor of Mothers Day, this week we talk about moms. First we ask our listeners to complete a short survey that will help keep this podcast and other podcasts you might enjoy running. Moltz tells the story of how he met Lex's mom on Twitter. Jon speaks fondly of the Nikon D70 You should totally buy one using that link. Jon has mentioned that you should actually take a look at a DSLR that's not over 10 years old, like this Nikon D7100. And yes, you should totally buy one using that link. Mr. Lex tells us about his vanity plates. Sponsor: Once again, our thanks to DayOne for sponsoring this episode. DayOne is the place to record your daily events, feelings, pictures and more. Get it. Follow us: @ttcashow. Lex Friedman can be found @lexfri, John Moltz can be found @Moltz and Jon Armstrong is @blurb.

Sex, Part Deux! For an episode about sex we talk a lot about movies for some reason. There's not much sex in The Avengers, Man Of Steel or Thor but Jon learned everything he knows about women's underwear from the original Superman. Lex gets his information about women's underwear from Shark Tank. Grease is a great movie for learning about sex. Lots of direct references to sex facts that your kid won't understand. "Any questions?" The Godfather is good for teaching your kids about violence. Ace Ventura would be a good movie to teach kids about homophobia. Jacqueline Bissett in The Deep was Intro to Female Anatomy 101 for many a boy during the '70s. Although, Benny Hill is how Moltz learned about female anatomy. If you don't believe that Lex took his kids to a mob-themed restaurant that showed The Godfather movies on repeat, here are some pictures. Sponsors: Our thanks to Shari's Berries for sponsoring this episode. Shari's Berries sells unbelievable strawberries dipped in all kinds of chocolate. Go to their we

Speaking of sex, which we are on this episode, check out these cringe-inducing ads for HBO Go. Jon recommends Where Did I Come From? which features adorable images of people doing it. As for parts, Lex and Moltz mostly use clinical names but Jon's kids use euphemisms. Many a young lad learned the term "naughty bits" thanks to Monty Python's reference to those of Prime Minister Edward Heath. If you're interested in learning more about Jon's vasectomy -- and, really, who isn't? -- here's everything you wanted to know but were afraid to ask. If you're curious about masturbation, please watch this informative video brought to you by the Mormon Church. It's apparently like flipping your boat over in the rapids. Get it? Boat? Rapids? (We have no idea.) Sponsor: Once again, our thanks to DayOne for sponsoring this episode. DayOne is the place to record your daily events, feelings, pictures and more. Get it. Follow us: @ttcashow. Lex Friedman can be found @lexfri, John Moltz can be found @Moltz and Jon Armstrong is

The dads take a break from their usual sterling parenting advice (cough) to talk about things they screwed up. Getting your kids to take shots successfully should be like Scott Pilgrim, but there are no coins for winning. John has recently had to cut back on his son's screen time (good thing, too, because screens are DESTROYING OUR KIDS BRAINS). Gone are the days when you can just throw kids out the door a la Calvin and Hobbes. It's become a challenge to make sure your kids aren't overprotected. Jon tells of his time walking the lovely neighborhoods of Salford in the UK. Lex likens it to his experience in the neighborhood where the Groundlings school is. Jon strongly advises you against watching Little Children, the mere mention of which is kind of a downer and ruins the whole podcast. Not the episode, the entire podcast. Don't make the mistake John and Jon made. Don't help you kids with their homework. Although, it may or may not be an option if you actually want it to get done. Follow us: @ttcashow. Lex Fri

Other people's kids. The worst, right? It's not related to the topic, but John found his old mix tapes and expresses his fondness for Jim Carroll. Both Lex and Jon have the problem of their kids assimilating body issues. Lex seems to think he's on a different podcast. We finish with a discussion on swearing, which is all caused by other people's kids, of course, and the 4th grade urban myth that Justin Bieber has really eaten his own poop. Sponsor: Our thanks to Audible for sponsoring this episode. Go to Audible to download a free book today. John recommends The Martian, a terrific science fiction book about an astronaut strander on Mars. His wife recommends Does This Clutter Make My Butt Look Fat?, a book about helping declutter your house and your life. Follow us: @ttcashow. Lex Friedman can be found @lexfri, John Moltz can be found @Moltz and Jon Armstrong is @blurb.

On this episode, the dads talk about becoming a dad. Ch-ch-ch-changes! That's a David Bowie song, right? Once again the whole free-range kids thing comes up and it comes up early. Speaking of changes, since becoming a father, John cries while watching Finding Nemo. Jon and Lex recommend The Expectant Father. The dads recommend wills and starting to save for college five years before you were born. Not the kid, you. Lex laments no longer being able to binge-watch shows like House of Cards. Still, we can binge-watch shows like Clone Wars and Adventure Time. All the dads recommend therapy. Like that wasn't obvious. Sponsor: Our thanks to DayOne for sponsoring this episode. No baloney, DayOne is the best journaling app for iOS and the Mac. Do yourself and your family a favor and go to the DayOne site to learn more and just get it. Follow us: @ttcashow. Lex Friedman can be found @lexfri, John Moltz can be found @Moltz and Jon Armstrong is @blurb.

Happy birthday! There are good birthday experiences and bad ones. And horrible ones. Lex is not a big fan of bouncy places like BounceU but Jon thinks Kangaroo Zoo isn't so bad and John doesn't mind Pump It Up. But as far as really good experiences, Jon is a fan of The wAirhouse and John likes The Little Gym for smaller kids. The benefit of the Little Gym is they have instructors, not sullen teen employees. Video game places like Odyssey are kind of a sensory overload experience. Lex has been to a dance party place and that's the nicest thing he can say about that. If you have several kids, Lex says it's just more cost effective to buy your own Elmo costume. You weren't using that dignity anyway. Here's Lex in full Elmo. Jon bought his daughter a Playmobil veterinary clinic because Playmobil is awesome. The dads argue over thank-you note etiquette and close with a Nixon reference. As you do when talking about kids birthday parties. Sponsor: Our thanks to the totally awesome DayOne for sponsoring this episode.

Let's talk about time management. Can someone help us with this? Because we need it. John tries to sing a Jim Croce favorite but can't. But time songs are a thing and many of them can make you cry is what you should know. The dads support schools efforts to keep kids with peanut allergies alive, even if it makes making meals a pain in the butt. Yes, the Moltz's still subscribe to their local dead-tree newspaper. This has nothing to do with time management but the mashed potatoes thing is a Close Encounters of the Third Kind reference, if you haven't seen it. The dads do it judiciously but NEVER LEAVE YOUR KIDS IN THE CAR WHAT KIND OF LOUSY PARENT ARE YOU? Sponsor: Our thanks to DayOne, a terrific journaling app for iOS and the Mac for sponsoring this episode. DayOne now has a new feature: publishing. Get. It. Follow us: @ttcashow. Lex Friedman can be found @lexfri, John Moltz can be found @Moltz and Jon Armstrong is @blurb.

Let's talk about education. Getting to school, staying in school, homework, tests and the PTA. Jon's use of the term "redshirt" is questioned, particularly since it doesn't match up with John's known definition of the term. Now you know why John's kid probably won't be participating in any organized sports. Here are some pros and cons of standardized testing but just know that the dads are not fans of them. We'll also talk about where to meet hot moms (may also work for hot dads). Sponsor: Our thanks to DayOne for sponsoring this episode. DayOne is *the* app you want for journaling your life, your kids lives and just plain old remembering things that happen. DayOne now has a new feature: publishing. Check it out and then go get DayOne. Or just go get it. Follow us: @ttcashow. Lex Friedman can be found @lexfri, John Moltz can be found @Moltz and Jon Armstrong is @blurb.

Hey, kids! It's screen time! Experts say you shouldn't let your kids watch television until they're two. And then they should only watch test patterns for a year. As far as shows for little kids shows go, PBS's Curious George is pretty good. WonderPets, not so much. In the video game realm, the Lego series is good. And Jon should know, he's been playing console games since the Magnavox Odyssey. In the realm of crack games designed to keep you buying more and more, Jon's kids play Disney Infinity and John's plays Skylanders. Lex's kids play with iPads and you should just click that link and buy a few. Unless you want to get your kids the Retina model and then you should click this link. Lex also recommends Truck Tunes for educational listening on trucks. Sponsor: Once again, our thanks to DayOne for sponsoring this episode. DayOne makes recording daily events, memories, data and pictures a joy. Get it here. Follow us: @ttcashow. Lex Friedman can be found @lexfri, John Moltz can be found @Moltz and Jon Armstron

This week we talk about getting ready in the morning. There's dressing, there's brushing teeth, there's hair... oh, god, so much hair. John recommends California baby hair detangler. Lex used a Barbie head to practice hair do's and hair don'ts. Speaking of hair, here's the hair that John had to deal with up until last summer. Be forewarned, this image may disturb more sensitive listeners. We won't be providing a link for Tinker Bell cosplay pictures which, uh, somehow just came up organically. We're pretty sure you can find those all on your own. But behold the horror of... tween Dora. They're not quite as cool as light-up Boba Fett sneakers, but here are some light-up Jango Fett sneakers. Sponsor: Once again, our thanks to DayOne for sponsoring this episode. DayOne is the place to record your daily events, feelings, pictures and more. Get it. Follow us: @ttcashow. Lex Friedman can be found @lexfri, John Moltz can be found @Moltz and Jon Armstrong is @blurb.

This week we talk about getting away from your damn kids because they're driving you crazy! Be forewarned: many states require that you have some kind of child care, though. (Dogs apparently don't count? Lame.) John and his wife used Annie's Nannies in Seattle to find their nanny and she was awesome. And Breedlove is a company that will do the tax calculations for employing a nanny or babysitter for you. John and his wife used them when employing their nanny and John was later confirmed to the U.S. Supreme Court without a problem. And he's not even a lawyer! Is empty nest syndrome not really a thing? Could be. How much should you pay a babysitter? No one knows. Sponsor: Our thanks to DayOne for sponsoring this episode. DayOne makes journaling your life easy and thorough. Get it. Follow us: @ttcashow. Lex Friedman can be found @lexfri, John Moltz can be found @Moltz and Jon Armstrong is @blurb.