Your Mom's House With Christina P. And Tom Segura

When someone goes on strike you know they mean business. This lady is going on strike for something so important we can't actually spell out what it is (It's Gross and comes out of a man's penis).  We step in to Studio G with Super Dad Nerd, G.  We wear our awesome new Pup Masks as we are always heightening our sense of smell.  Plus absolutely AMAZE music from so many of you. We're putting Bitsy on a diet and SO much more.  Thanks, Jeans.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As perhaps the leading non-binary couple in the podcast comedy world today we are thrilled to bring you this aspect of the wonder from the perspective of our obtuse reality. Hope that was clear.  Sometimes when you are making a brown someone will crawl under the stall to see if you are indeed browning. What would you do in that situation?  The Mommies saw another horrible movie. Hope you get to have a night ruined by it as well.  Plus another guy had vocal fry and it wasn't even the worst part of his personality. He also liked to....kill and eat people. Can you guess who? This episode is full of such a good time we HAD to find some boring audio to dull it down. Hope it's boring enough for you.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever tried to get a hearing impaired person to lick your stuff but you weren't sure how to do it? We have answers.  Plus we're pretty sure we found our sons little league coach. Hope he's still around when Little Jeans is ready to play. This guy emphasizes that losing sucks and no one wants to be one.  Tina and Tommy both break down what they individually hate and what they hate as a couple (acoustic?).  Hi Mommy...Thanks Jeans rages on and much more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Don't hit me, Mummy! Don't hurt me, mummy! This week Tommy recaps his big celebration trip with Burnt and both pairs of Jeans have a Dental Update. Who do you think has the more perfect smile? Jack Reach Around Two is reviewed. Spoiler Alert: It's a pile of garbage. More emails and more orders of Hey, Mommy....Thanks, Jeans! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Finally! Someone is talking about the real issues - how do you mop up all that stuff after you make kisses? A nice British lady is going to show us the way (it's the Shower). Plus - you weigh in on the Personality Battle. Hey, some of you are a little TOO honest. Thanks. We meet a lady who wants to live with no environmental impact. That includes REUSING toilet paper. NEAT. And Hey, Mommy...Thanks, Jeans rolls on.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The McAfee Virus guy isn't just a genius when it comes to protecting your PC. He also has discovered that hammocks are great for lounging on and pooping off of. Just listen to this parade of women tell you about it.  Plus, you've picked sides when it comes to #Water, #Posture and #fitness. Now the two jeans break down who has a better #personality. Which side are YOU on?! We have a new most boring video ever. Is it real? Doubtful. More dad accents, Horrible or Hilarious and some Hall Of Fame level ordering of "Hi, Mommy...Thanks, Jeans!" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Reach into your pants, hold on to your twig and berries and take a DEEP SNIFF. That's how you train to be a good pup. Good boy.    Tommy is deep in his weight loss competition with Burnt. These last 24 hours are rough! We revisit with Orlando Brown who has new ways to describe his sexual exploits.  Plus, what YMH word does Tina add to her coffee order? Are you ready to step up your "Hi Mommy, Thanks Jeans" Game?  It's all here.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Does your shoulder hurt? Have you tired saluting the Fuhrer? We can tell you one thing for sure - It Helps!! Christina considers the Skullet - the haircut that Tommy has been pushing for years. Will you urge her to get it done? Thanks. The Mommies consider potty training for their little boy. What word should they use to describe going number 2? Making brown, caca, taking a dump. Lets figure it out together.  We revisit the EV mic guy and more mommies are doing "Hey, mommy" orders. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

These Jeans are ready to party. We always knew that Subway served up sandwiches, but we didn't realize there was so much MUSTARD on them. In this episode we explore two entirely different locations with two very upset customers - each expressing their disappointment in a unique way. PLUS - Top Dog and Charo stopped by to do some line reads. We play you the whole thing. That and SO much more. Merry Xmas, Santa Jeans. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, the mommies dive deep into the world of Orlando Brown, get festive for the Holidays with an amazing Instagram singer, discuss the weight loss competition and much much more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Diamonds on the crevice of your ??? I'll give you three guesses. We have so much to share with you! Get ready to pull 'em high and tight! This week we tickle some bodies with our new favorite Disney star, talk about Tom's time in West Palm Beach, and find out just how unparliamentary Elizabeth May can get when she's had a few drinks! Jeans up!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We love our brothers and sisters to the North, but there's one lady in Parliament who clearly isn't on board with the show - she's anti F-A-R-T! Please keep heckling her. You think you know Tom and Tina, but have you met Karen and Bobby? They're here unless they're drinking or smoking or having sex. Plus an outrageous call with Top Dog and Charo and some amazing clips including one really cool lady who loves when guys spray their love on her (face). This episode is LOADED. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Would you marry your mom? Really. That's so cool, cause like, me too. Kiss her for real.  The Mommies moved this week and with a lot of help came a lot of stranger dumps. So many.  Plus a really massive, fat lady will let you pay to watch her be gross. Master of Accents, Pup Play and a lot more. As always, Bert is so fat and it's being celebrated all over the world.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We did it, We locked down the guy who will call you a C**T to your face. That's right, Dan Pena is on the show!  So fun to talk to the master of cursing in business. Dan was as fun as you might imagine.  Plus the Jeans are not only fresh off their Bannismurfurney where they got a Couples Massage (yuck), Tina also claims disrupted relaxing time with a F-A-R-T.  AND, seems that President Camacho is actually going to run the free world. Interesting times ahead! Many Masterful Accents in this one! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Even babies know the truth - Bert IS fat, but also our dear friend Burnt Chrystals has a new special coming to Showtime called The Machine and he goes by the name Bert Kreischer in it. Plus Tommy and Tina watched the movie, Shark Bites - you might like but it has one BIG flaw (same as the Martian with Matt Damon).  There's a really white DJ who really feels comfortable with BIG WORDS and all kinds of accents to master in this one. Who is the Water Champ? Now we can all be with the NEW Water Champ shirt! Get one for Christmas or just to show everyone who H2Flow is in your house.  Keep those jeans up! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

NO Loose jeans allowed here. We find the ultimate dad boner who relights the fire that only Garth can put out. Plus, Tommy AKA Tomaso speaks eh, de Espanish on TV, we have Would You Rather, Perfect Smiles and MORE! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week on YMH, Tom and Christina take a look at Christina's ex-boyfriend who know works as an insane deck hand, a couple of fighting brothers who desperately want you to look at them, and go in depth on Tom's most recent physical Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, the mommies watch a bunch of public service announcements, some hilarious, some horrible. They also get a translation for the Persian voicemail, which kicks us off to a journey into Christina's childhood. Wipe down! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Due to Blueban's incompentance this episode had to be re-recorded. Oh, Blueban! Unfortunately it means that a mommy is missing. Christina is out, but step-mommy, Ryan Sickler fills in and brings the fun, filth, and funny that he always does. Tom and Ryan discuss uncomfortable moments with fans, bizarre sexual experiences and requests, the NFL, the Name of The Year contest, a twitter prank, Would You Rather's and more!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to Braceland! He's finally here. The star of Gigolos on Showtime and soundbites in our hearts, Brace, joins us for a lengthy conversation about life, karma, fitness, grooming, and pounding chicks. Tommy and Tina are overjoyed to spend time with affable and hilarious Brace. Also, get ready for updates on the move, becoming a C*m dog, Fill Her Up, and more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices