Your Mom's House With Christina P. And Tom Segura

When you can't write a song, just sing what you're actually seeing or holding the moment that you open your mouth. That way you can belt out a total piece of trash, just like you were meant to. Turn up the volume! Listen to us talk about stuff and play audio clips! See? Plus Tommy met Mike Tyson. What? Yup. And it's a pretty crazy story. Turns out the former champ is a big fan of streaming content.  Do Cargo shorts make that bulge even BIGGER? The mommy's debate and invite you to weigh in with your d**k knowledge. Give us your best shot, little jeans. And OMG Maria is FIRED UP. Was it service? Yes. Was it Starbucks? No. Is a race/ethnicity mentioned? You bet! Pull em up! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's for the kids, man. The treats are for the kids and YMH is for the kids. If your kids don't already listen to this show, please change that.  We can't stand watching Americans look for real estate abroad. It's like listening to a child question how the science works - a lot of questions and sometimes the SAME ones. Over and over and over.  We have a DENTAL UPDATE from the NEWS - Oh my. Floss your denticles, hahahahaha. More bummer white people movies, bad music, DMX redeems himself and lot more.    We DON'T LIKE SALT WATER BREEZES!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sharkeisha, What??? We got a new jam for you.   Super talented comic/model Nick Youssef has an album out and now we can all rejoice! We've been long time fans of young Youssef and now you will be too. Make sure to get his debut, Stop Not Owning This.  Peter Caine is back at it - this time it's about your dog's leash and issues! Plus we introduce Nick to the idea of the C*mdog that will one day live in our backyard.  We cover The Comedy Store, Nick's youth and a whole LOT more. Nick is a total honorary mommy and will definitely be back weaving denim with us soon.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

These are the jeans you dream about. The ones we have on are made for sitting, talking, relaxing and of course, celebrating Eat A Booty Day. Thanks to Trick Daddy we can all celebrate together. Please reach out to him on twitter @305Mayor and ask him to sell us the Eat A Booty Shirts.  Speaking of clothes, has Tommy joined a gang? His new shorts and shirts will have saying, "Sup Homie! Sun Valley Gang for life homie!" Plus we investigate did a flight attendant have their EYES on Tommy Mommy's junk as he slept?!?! Let's break it down! The mommies ate some BAD food back to back and meals and their fart makers paid the price. BK plus eggs and pancakes make you feel good. Tina jeans did some serious fitness and then slept for 16 hours. Will she keep this new lifestyle choice up?   REAL TALK, Bummer White people movies and more!   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You, the little Mommy, asked. We, The MAIN MOMMY'S, answered and Ms Pat is here! Ms Pat is one of a kind and we LOVE her. While she's lived the kind of life that would make a lot of us bitter, Ms Pat is the opposite. She engaging, full of life and absolutely hilarious.  We get the inside scoop on what has made Ms Pat so funny and such a saavy hustler. Just listen and you'll be saying "I'm a ol' drug dealer" in no time.  Epic stories, DMX audio and a Tom OR Black for the ages. Who wins this one?!? Pull your jeans up and listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jeff Richards is a (Muscle) bitch! You'll get it soon enough. We have the former Mad TV and SNL star in the mommy dome.  This episode has it all: show biz stories, life lessons, spot on impressions and something we are now HUGE fans of - the MUSIC of Jeff Richards. We are hooked like we're wearing a new pair of jeans or something. Plus Dental News, breaking down 2 Live Crew (Tom's Beatles) lyrics, listener music and more. This is why we wear denim - episodes like this one.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

SUP KANE!!! SUP TOM???? Yup. BDK is down with Buns and we get you the get down. Long story short, Kane is a chill dude and we hope to get him in the Dome soon. Have you heard or seen DMX ride a roller coaster. It's incredible and we share it with you.  Did you that Tina Jeans and Sydney Castillo can SPIT BARS?!?!? You must take your eyes to the site and watch the REGULAR BODY video. We sense a Grammy over here.  We go back to get SNOOSHI and our lady has a surprise for us (in her pants). Plus Tina proposes a new HGTV show for Tommy that combines his love of home shopping and masturbating! We review why you're probably not married, ladies and we have some good info (you should probaby request big dongs more).  What Ya'll Really Want!?! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We keeps it real here and we appreciate the realness, gnam sayin? Nothing kept our attention like one of the realest Reality shows ever, Breaking Bonaduce. Gretchen Bonaduce, the ex-wife of Danny B, is in the Mommy Dome and droppin knowledge on us. We talk about the total chaos that was encompassing their lives as this completely unplanned show was filmed and the self-destructive path that Danny was on. It's engaging, outrageous, hilarious and sad all at the same time.  Get ready for a YMH EXCLUSIVE (Tailored Denim). This episode is an instant classic, plus we have a Steven Seagal nugget of wisdom to keep your eyes rolling. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Eat the booty, if you want to be in the gang! That's a philosophy the mommies can definitely support! Trick loves the kids, but he's also way into eating the booty. We acknowledge and honor his passion. Are you passionate about it too? Please do tell us.  When the jeans step into the bedroom, it's full of hungry eyes and hardcore RAP! Tina knows her man likes beats and rhymes, so she's shifting her sensibilites and wooing her man with that BASS! Are farts foreplay? We think it is even if you don't think it is - It's Only Smells... There's only one group of people ruining the flowers in Elizabeth Park, do you know what type of gypsy we're referring to? Take a guess.  You gots to feed a bitch!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh, Canada, you're such a nice place with really great denim and also you floss! This is the Live podcast by which all future live shows will be judged. The Canadian Mommies are real and HARD F***IN CORE! Toronto is no joke, you know what we're sayin? Tommy and Tina drop dreams on you! Who requested a T Bunz piledriver? Which race crawled up in Tina in her sleep-filled mind? We try to understand what people are sayin. Pretty sure that one of them is even too advanced for the most seasoned mom. Give it a shot, ketchup/mustard! Can Britney Spears sing? We have evidence that suggests your opinion on her vocals has always been on point. Plus Aunty FeeFee drops knowledge thru music and Top Dog raises even his own brown bar! Remember, "It's Only Smells."  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh Jeans can you see, that America is the best and loudest place in the world! Can you tell when an A1 US of A person is around? Let's break it down! If someone told you to Go F yourself, could you? Black Salami has something show the people who doubt that he can. WARNING, it's NSFHE - Not Safe For Human Eyes.  How does God do a new thang if he's still doin the same thang?!?!?! Momstralia/Australia speaks English...sort of. Can you understand this bloke? We have Dental Updates all around plus more from our favorite Dog Trainer, Peter Caine. Things are getting weirder. Big Shouts to Ontario, Canada for all the love this past week. That's some real nice denim you guys have up there. This episode will make you wish your peepee was stuck in Budder. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's your mom's house! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey YO!!!! What it do, Junior Boo Boo? It's so fun to make fun of family and we encourage you to PUSH THOSE LIMITS! If the elevator posts a weight limit, suggest to your mother/wife/son that they will break it - then point and laugh! We Bro'd down hard in the Bro to celebrate the greatest birthday ever for Country Numero UNO. Hope you got down too or at least thanked us for being the best.  Jeans In My C**T is STUCK in our heads and we hope it's in yours too. Care to hear it again? Good.  Tina and Tommy are seriously in the TV BIZ now. Will a network pick up Tom Farts in a Jar or Dog D**K Afternoon? We sure hope so (they're really good ideas).  One of our listeners actually worked for the mastermind behind Friday (not the movie) and Chinese Food (Is that also a movie?) and lets us in behind the curtain of his mediocrity.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's time to celebrate. America, either the land you're lucky enough to live in or lucky enough to wish you lived in is putting another candle in her cake. Show respect. Wear tighter, more form-fitting jeans. You know how Theo does it - 24/7 and to honor our son and one of the hardest MF's out there, our boy now has his own gear. It's official. We're still working on the percentage split with him, but it's out there.  We promise not to feed him vegan food. We really think Peter Caine would light us up if we did.  We read your emails, play a NEW GOOD song - not a horrific song, and basically have a jolly, good time doing this episode. We love you, Lady America. Here's to you! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You guys are like salmon. You say you're more smarter, but ya'll are the stupidest mutherf***ers we have ever seen! Just kidding - we Love you!  The Mommy Dome is happy to welcome Christina's fellow castmate from Funniest Wins, Mr. Sydney Castillo! Sydney can come back whenever he wants as he is a total JEANS MACHINE (AKA a Natural Fit).  We break down the difference between Ft. Worth and Dallas, defend abusive coaches, Biggie vs Beatles, Dental Updates, OG WYR, plus the most epic TOM or BLACK ever! You are not prepared for the good times wrapped up in the episode! Stay Social! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Take care of your rectum and its "situations" or get a Woolery-approved lubricant to stop the pools of blood.  We can't stop the madness and the madness is in the form of music. MAKE IT STOP! Or don't?  How come an itchy butt will just pop up out of nowhere? We break it down! We're thinking of getting a (legal) slave - PLUS Dental Updates, a NEW Corporate song and more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There are kids here so please SIT YOUR WHORE ASS DOWN! That's a pretty aggressive way to address a fellow passenger, but we all have our days. Chuck Woolery blames Canada and wants to take them down! Will you side with him? Our bed is old and we are ready for a new one - where do you sleep, outside? On nails? Share your experience.  Tina's fart game has been raised and the Mommies make a promise to stop droppin bombs - can they keep it? REAL TALK - The Gypsies are back and White Trashier than ever. S**T just got way worser, ya'll. Will we ever eradicate them? This episode is like a bag of chips going into a bowl.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gimme, Gimme, Gimme said the less than fully toothed lady. That's no way to get the joint passed over, boo. You gotta mind your manners! White trash is a special breed of human and we like to think of them as the worst (and most entertaining) representation of our race. From West Virginian gypsies to your standard meth head, there's no shortage of awful when it comes to the White man.  Biggie vs Beatles is no where near over. We read your emails as you side with one or the other - and you don't hold back!  Plus dozens of awful songs have been pouring in. We bless your earholes with the sweet sounds of no talent.  Top Dog is on the horn and he now wants to be an author. Won't you buy his book? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What hurts on you? Your what, your what, your what? That's nice, lady! As the Great Italian pornographer, Rocco says, "You must have both the passion and the chemistry and the focus and not know when the end is here for it to go with what is there." Understand? Peter Caine is our new hero. Don't you dare threaten him and don't EVER leave your dog with a friend. Friends are the worst. Bad songs are evidently existence in abundance. Thank you for filling our inbox with them. Is the Biggie/Beatles debate over? Nope! Who do you side with, Tina's super white/super lame explanation or Tom's hard and black and super real argument?  Gross sexual kinks are fascinating. Do you have one? Please share. And, you know what I'm sayin, we want that GENUINE "Gnam sayin" Know what we're saying? Bossa Nova forever! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Body Talk, yo. What's your body say about you? Do you have towels? Partners? A LOT of time? Get your fitness on, God.  Tina's not playin. She's doing Quadruplethons and she's sponsored by Chili and other premium fitness brands.  We love working out in prison and prison movies too! Chopper and Bronson are doing it real big and with cool accents.  More bad songs, DENTAL UPDATE, WYR and More! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices