Curious And Curiouser Podcast

This week’s episode is about one of Tracey & Cayly’s favorite topics:  Sex. Specifically, they’re talking about why it’s so common for the spark to go out in long-term relationships and offering advice on what to do to rekindle it when it does. They also talk about the importance of cultivating your own sexual energy and why scheduling sex doesn’t make it any less sexy.   Other topics include:   - Balancing safety/security and sexy/lusty-ness in a relationship - Making sex a priority - Why it’s important to continue nurturing yourself as a sexual being - Why novelty and spontaneity are essential to long term relationships - How we lose the spark in relationships and why it’s common and normal for this to happen - The importance of talking about sex outside the bedroom - Why masturbation is important as a form of self-care - Talking about fantasies with your partner - How judgment gets in the way in the bedroom - Reframing the role sex is playing in your life in a long term relationship - And more!   Trace

Tracey and Cayly actually had a different topic planned for this week’s episode. But when they sat down to record, they were both feeling a little heavy and sad. And then they started reflecting on the past year and celebrating how far they’ve both come. Which led to this conversation, in which Tracey and Cayly discuss all the advice they would give their younger selves if given the opportunity to do so. This includes advice about sex, dating, relationships, body image, risk-tasking, and a variety of other things. They hope you find this episode entertaining, humorous, and even a little insightful.   (Show notes will be updated with more resources in the next couple of days. Please check back for links! Thank you for your patience!)   Piquing Our Curiosity:   Buddha’s Brain:  The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom by Rick Hanson (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1572246952?ie=UTF8&tag=caylymarisa-20&camp=1789&linkCode=xm2&creativeASIN=1572246952)   Remember, if you have any

On this week’s episode, Tracey and Cayly are talking about how to be a good listener and actually hear what someone else is saying instead of just waiting for your turn to talk when in the midst of a challenging conversation or conflict. They talk about leading with empathy, and how doing so does not necessarily mean you agree with what the other person has said.   They also talk about how doing the work on yourself as an individual is essential to being present with and showing up for other people in your life, and provide some resources for beginning this process on your own.   Other topics include:   - Learning to be uncomfortable in discomfort, both alone and with another person - What it means to be truly present with someone else - Why we need to practice being quiet - How insecurity can get in the way of listening - The role of mirror neurons in communication - Cultivating a feeling of safety in your own body - How the 24hr news cycle contributes to our need to speed things up - The benefits of slowing

In this week’s episode, Tracey & Cayly are talking about how to not let the holidays suck the life out of you by managing expectations around interactions with family and taking responsibility for the role you are playing in perpetuating potentially unpleasant dynamics around this time of year.   Specific topics discussed include:   - Being aware of the energy you are bringing into the situation - Letting go of the idea that you can change people - Why you don’t have to engage with every person on every topic - The stories that other people — especially family members — have about us and how they are often not accurate - Why you don’t have to justify yourself or your life to other people - Releasing the need to control the family narrative - Recognizing how your energy can best be used - The role of trauma and healing - How to not judge your family members for not “doing the work” - And more!   Resources:   Our original episode about the holidays from last year (http://organicacupunctureportland.com/curio

Today, Tracey and Cayly are taking on a slightly somber topic, as they discuss what to do in the wake of tragedy, particularly when it unexpectedly strikes someone you love. The question they start with is:  Are you allowed to be joyful when someone you know is grieving?   Specific topics discussed include:   - Why it’s okay to compartmentalize grief sometimes - How grief and joy can coexist - Why you don’t have to (and shouldn’t) take on your partner or close friend’s emotions - How feelings are contagious - How to know what’s yours and what’s not yours emotionally - Why we can’t fix other people’s pain and what to do instead - How to deal with larger scale tragedies - Our inherent negativity bias and why we seek to avoid discomfort - Investment without attachment - And so much more!   As mentioned in the opening to this episode, there is a GoFundMe for Liz Winters of Sprout Wellness (https://www.gofundme.com/5kuabc-support-the-winters-family) to which Tracey and Cayly would truly appreciate you donating if

This week’s episode is a juicy one, y’all. Tracey and Cayly are discussing infidelity, betrayal, and jealousy in relationships. They talk about why cheating isn’t always a black and white issue, how to recover from infidelity, why jealousy is normal and not something about which to feel ashamed, and how to recognize the signs that betrayal might be on its way.   They also talk about self-betrayal, sex, emotional affairs, and how to find the balance between lust and safety in long-term partnerships.   Tracey and Cayly loved having this conversation and hope you enjoy listening to this episode as much as they enjoyed making it. If so, please consider leaving the show a 5-star rating or review in iTunes. (https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/curious-and-curiouser-podcast/id1229955279). And if you’d like to support the podcast by making a donation, you can do so through Paypal here (https://www.paypal.me/curiousandcuriouser). Thanks, y’all!       Resources: Hold Me Tight (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/03161130

This week’s podcast episode is all about how to ignore the noise and trust yourself enough to make the decisions that are in your own best interest. Tracey and Cayly talk about why caring about what others think of us is normal and what we can do to combat this impulse. They also discuss:   - The ways women are conditioned to be overly accommodating and why this does more harm than good - How we can start figuring out what we actually want - Why we need to advocate for ourselves with our partners, our kids, and our healthcare providers - How women are often dismissed by their medical providers - Why it’s okay to fire your doctor - Making choices that are right for you when it comes to nutrition and fitness - Why we need to risk making others uncomfortable and be okay with not being liked - The relationship between boundaries and resentment - And so much more!     Resources:     Codependent No More by Melody Beattie (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0894864025?ie=UTF8&tag=caylymarisa-20&camp=1789&

On this week’s episode of the podcast, Tracey and Cayly are talking about Brett Kavanaugh and his confirmation to the Supreme Court, and offering some thoughts on what we can do in the wake of this horrendous decision.   Other things discussed include:   - How to talk to kids (both boys and girls) about this subject - Why we shouldn’t despair - Why we can’t allow ourselves to become apathetic - How we can affect real change right now and focus on the things we can control - Why it is essential that we vote and that we educated ourselves about candidates instead of blindly voting along party lines - The difference between healthy anger vs narcissistic rage - And so much more   Tracey and Cayly hope this conversation provides some useful insights and possibly even solace to those of you reeling in the aftermath of the Kavanaugh hearings and his eventual confirmation to the Supreme Court.   As always, please consider leaving the podcast a 5-star review or rating in iTunes if you haven’t yet. Tracey and Cayly wou

Is there an upside to stress? Is stress essential? These are the questions Tracey and Cayly are tackling today. They talk about the importance of discomfort and why we shouldn’t rescue our children from it,why stress is essential for building resilience, and why the way we talk about stress changes how it affects us physiologically.   Cayly also talks about her experience having frequent panic attacks while in grad school, and describes her approach to overcoming this obstacle. And Tracey offers advice on how to help kids deal with anxiety in a way that fosters confidence and self-assuredness.   They also explore how context matters, and discuss the idea that something can both contribute to and provide relief from stress depending upon the circumstances.   As always, enjoy this episode and please consider leaving us a 5-star rating or review in iTunes if you’re finding these conversations beneficial. Tracey and I would really appreciate it! Don’t forget, if you’d like to support the podcast by making a donat

On this week’s episode of the podcast, Tracey and Cayly are talking about grief — which is a topic our society doesn’t quite know how to handle. They talk about the differences between depression and grief, grieving both obvious things (i.e. death, divorce, etc.) and the loss of things that are maybe not so obvious, as well as the grief over things that will never be.   They talk about our rush to pathologize grief, why letting go isn’t always so simple or easy, and the importance of ritual in the grieving process. Tracey also offers some great advice on how to talk to kids about grief.   Finally, Tracey and Cayly explore rites of passage — for women in particular — and what’s missing from the way our culture currently celebrates the transition between different stages of life.   As always, enjoy this episode and please consider leaving us a 5-star rating or review in iTunes if you’re finding these conversations beneficial. Tracey and Cayly would really appreciate it!     Related Resources:   Terrible, Thanks

On this week’s episode of the podcast, Tracey and Cayly are talking all about feminism. Do they consider themselves to be feminists? Should we all be feminists? Are there things about the current feminist movement with which Tracey and Cayly disagree?   They also talk about what it means to be a good feminist, the sex industry, toxic masculinity (and non-toxic masculinity), abortion rights, biological differences between the sexes, their complicated relationships to femininity, and so much more!   As always feedback and comments are encouraged! Let us know what you think! And please remember to leave us a review in iTunes (https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/curious-and-curiouser-podcast/id1229955279) if you’re loving the show! It really does help!   And, finally, if you’d like to support the podcast by making a donation, you can do so through Paypal here. Tracey and I sincerely appreciate it.       Related resources:   Mormon mom’s twitter thread on abortion (https://www.designmom.com/twitter-thread-abortion

This week’s question is:  Is it reasonable to ask someone to care about certain things as much as you do?   In this conversation, Tracey and Cayly are talking about emotional labor in relationships and how to approach this topic in a partnership when it feels like one person is carrying more of the load.   Enjoy this episode and, as always, please consider leaving a review or 5-star rating in iTunes if you’re a fan of a show. Tracey and I would really appreciate it!   And, finally, if you’d like to support the podcast by making a donation, you can do so through Paypal here. Tracey and I sincerely appreciate it.   Other topics discussed include:   - Why it’s essential to ask for what we need and why having to ask doesn’t mean our partner doesn’t love us - How women are conditioned not to rock the boat and why it is essential that they risk doing so - The importance of showing gratitude when your partner is doing more of the emotional labor - How defensiveness derails communication - Negotiating household tasks

This week’s episode is all about closure. Why do we seek it? How can we get it? Do others owe us closure when a relationship ends? Can we get closure on our own or does it require participation from another person?   Join Tracey and Cayly as they tackle these questions, talk about how they’ve found closure in their own lives, and offer advice on how to find closure on your own when the person with whom you have ended a relationship isn’t available to assist in that process.   Enjoy this episode and, as always, please consider leaving a review or 5-star rating in iTunes if you’re a fan of a show. Tracey and Cayly would really appreciate it!       Resources related to this episode:   Forgive For Good by Frederic Luskin (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/006251721X?ie=UTF8&tag=caylymarisa-20&camp=1789&linkCode=xm2&creativeASIN=006251721X) Be the Person You Want to Find by Cheri Huber (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0963625527?ie=UTF8&tag=caylymarisa-20&camp=1789&linkCode=xm2&cr

Whose approval are you seeking?   On this week’s episode, Tracey and Cayly have a meandering conversation sparked by this question, exploring all the ways we seek approval and how we can learn to stop looking outside ourselves for validation.   They discuss why we continue to seek approval from our parents even as adults, how social media can exacerbate this need for external validation, how meditation and visualization can help us change these behaviors, and why it’s okay if you want to stay small (in business or otherwise).   This is a wide-reaching conversation and Tracey and Cayly hope you enjoy it!  If so, please consider leaving a 5-star rating or review in iTunes. It helps other folks find the podcast and is really appreciated.     Related resources:   - There is Nothing Wrong With You by Cheri Huber   - Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach   - Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson   - Buddhism Without Beliefs by Stephen Batchelor   - Episode 16 on Building Confidence       Pi

JUICY TOPIC ALERT! Today, Tracey and Cayly are talking all about money. It’ s an important topic that they believe often gets overlooked in the health and wellness industry. So get ready for an open, honest, transparent dialogue about a subject that makes most of us uncomfortable.   Tracey and Cayly talk about money in partnerships and what it means to either combine or not combine finances.   They talk about navigating friendships when your income is either significantly higher or lower than the people with whom you are spending your time, particularly when it comes to planning big events likes weddings and other potentially expensive trips.   They also talk about how the attitude your parents had toward money when you were a kid often unconsciously affect your beliefs about money in your own life as an adult.   Tracey and Cayly also discuss the shame we often feel when it comes to our financial situations, why talking about money shouldn’t be taboo, and why women especially need to educate themselves about

This episode was such a fun one to plan out and to record, y’all! Tracey and Cayly have compiled a list of fifteen dating tips, taken both from their own life experience and their professional knowledge.   And don’t worry! Most of these tips are just as useful for folks who are already in long-term relationships or even married, so the episode has a little something for everyone.   You'll have to listen to the show to get the full list, but here are just a few to give you a sneak peek into what you’ll hear Tracey and Cayly discuss: Tip #1:  Burn your list Tip #4:  Don’t look for your life partner Tip #6:  Date often, discard early Tip #12:  Sex is not a manipulative tool   Tune in to hear all fifteen tips, and then share your thoughts by emailing Tracey and Cayly at curiousandcuriouserpodcast@gmail.com. Tag @cayly.c on Instagram if you’re listening to the show, and don’t forget to head to iTunes to leave a review and/or 5-star rating if you haven’t yet!   Lastly, as you heard Tracey and Cayly mention in the e

Episode 66:  Dating, Productivity, Femininity, & Why It Might Be Okay That You’re Like That   In this week’s episode of the podcast, Tracey and Cayly are asking the question:  Is it okay that I’m like this?   In this discussion, they talk about dating, masculine and feminine energies, being messy people, the stable nature of core personality traits over our lifetime, how to make change while also honoring who you are, and what questions to ask yourself before changing a behavior or habit or thought pattern to make sure it’s something that actually needs to be changed.   This is a wide-ranging conversation that Tracey and Cayly hope leaves you feeling a little bit more self-compassionate. If you find the episode useful, entertaining, or generally enjoyable, please consider leaving the show a 5-star rating and/or review in iTunes. Tracey and Cayly would really appreciate your support!   And don’t forget! You can now donate to the podcast through PayPal by going here or by sending your donation to curiousand

On this week’s episode of the podcast, Tracey and Cayly are revisiting a topic they first discussed on two of the earliest episodes of the show last year. They’re talking body image, and asking the following question:   How does our body image impact our ability to be present and engaged in our daily lives?   Just a few of the topics discussed during this conversation include:  where our culture’s physical ideals come from, how we are taught to moralize physical appearance, why the media you take in is not benign, what role men can play in changing societal expectations around women’s bodies, and how you can start to change the story you tell yourself about your own body.   Tracey and Cayly also offer a ton of resources — all of which are listed below — and have a lively discussion about the dos and don’ts of commenting on other people’s bodies.   Enjoy the episode and please send us feedback if you have it. Tracey and Cayly would love to hear from you!     Resources mentioned in the episode:   - The Beauty M

This week’s episode of Curious & Curiouser was inspired by a listener email Tracey and Cayly received following the tragic deaths of both Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain last week. Given the outward success both of these public figures had achieved and the fact they both took their own lives, our listener wanted to know our thoughts on the following questions:   1. What is happiness?   and   2. What are we ultimately striving for?   For this conversation, Tracey and Cayly used these questions as a jumping off point to have a larger discussion about mental health, depression, happiness, success, emotional neglect, and so much more. They talk about the normalcy of having dark thoughts, the stigma around getting help for mental health struggles, the importance of connection, and why they believe that our purpose on this earth is not to be happy — although our society often sends the message that this is what we should be striving for in our lives.   Enjoy this conversation and please feel free to send Tracey

This week’s episode is about all the ways we leak energy in our lives by trying to control things over which we don’t actually have control. Tracey and Cayly are talking about what this looks like for them and asking the question:  What happens when we try to reach outside our sphere of influence?   They are offering advice on how to stop leaking energy in this way and discussing specific examples from their own lives. They explore the tendency towards trying to control our partners in romantic relationships, our kids, and even our friends. This includes a conversation about unspoken expectations and feeling overly responsible for other people in our lives, particularly as healthcare providers.   Tracey and Cayly hope you enjoy this episode and find it useful!   As always, please consider leaving a review or 5-star rating in iTunes if you love the episode. Tracey and Cayly would really appreciate it!   Highlights from the show:   - What’s your sphere of influence? - Energy leaks - Trying to control our romant