Blessing Not Stressing - Happy Parenting

Blame The System In this last part (four, for those keeping score) of the Karen Lock Kolp interview, we discuss ways to make the system and rules the bad guy.  This frees us up as parents to simply shower our children with love, lend a sympathetic ear, and teach them that consequences are inevitable.  We continue our look at accepting blame for our miss-queues and teaching our children about forgiveness.  We wrap it all up with some experiences in dual-enrollment programs and how those can help kids get a good start on the next phase of their life. You can check out Karen's site at https://weturnedoutokay.com/.  Also, you can follow her on twitter at https://twitter.com/StoneAgeTechie or Instagram: @weturnedoutokay.  Her facebook page can be found at https://www.facebook.com/weturnedoutok/.  Finally, check out her site for links to her book and other great parenting articles.  Do not forget to leave her a review as thanks for spending some time on this podcast. Please leave a review and let me know your thoug

Negotiating is not a Bad Thing There is often a negative tone to suggesting that someone is a good negotiator.  Negotiating has been shuffled into the same category as used car sales staff and other slick operators.  This is not really how it works in life though.  There are all sorts of legitimate reasons to use negotiating skills.  Salary, purchases and even life choices like a spouse may require the ability to haggle over details.  These sort of skills can be taught at an early age.  In fact, they seem to be a natural progression as children learn that life is more than black and white.  It may start with steps like rewarding a child that asks (always a good starting point) and work up to rewarding good negotiating attempts.  In this episode, we look at some other options and how these skills can help a child later on. Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts on this and other episodes at  https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/blessing-not-stressing-happy/id1186128287.  You can find other podcast

That is Not My Child One of the challenging times in a parenting career is when a child does something completely out of character.  This always seems to be a bad thing.  It is not often I hear a parent say that a success is "not like my child."  The claim that it is not your child is obviously incorrect as it is your child that just performed the action.  However, the action can be completely out of character for the child and something they never do again.   Although the action may be a challenge to deal with, you should also look for a reason why.  Sometimes these out-of-character actions point to struggles that require parental involvement.  It may be to guide your child through difficult times, teach them how to cope, or give them a tool.  Look beyond the action itself and make sure there is not additional work to be done to get your child back on track and avoid one time slips from becoming the norm.   Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts on this and other episodes at  https://itunes.app

Even Parents can Ask For Forgiveness In part three of the interview with Karen Lock Kolp, I ask her a few deep questions.  We look at experience vs. education when it comes to child raising.  Then she discusses her biggest mistakes and successes as a parent.  The two extremes tie together in a way that can make us all look a little closer at our missteps.  This also should provide a little more hope as you navigate the parenting world.  Years of education are no match for experience.  Particularly when you consider how unique your children are. You can check out Karen's site at https://weturnedoutokay.com/.  Also, you can follow her on twitter at https://twitter.com/StoneAgeTechie or Instagram: @weturnedoutokay.  Her facebook page can be found at https://www.facebook.com/weturnedoutok/.  Finally, check out her site for links to her book and other great parenting articles. Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts on this and other episodes at  https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/blessing-not-stressi

Protecting Our Kids It is natural for a parent to worry about their kids.  We base that worry on our own experiences and what we have learned from others.  However, it is important to remember that our children may not have the same experiences.  When we base our protection and guidance on our fears we are perpetuating those fears.  Instead of projecting fear onto our children, we should discuss our experiences.  They may choose the same path as us, but maybe they will find a new approach.  They might even help us face our fears and break the cycle. Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts on this and other episodes at  https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/blessing-not-stressing-happy/id1186128287.  You can find other podcast episodes at https://blessingnotstressing.com/blog/podcast.  There are also deeper discussions with blog articles available there as well.  For regular updates follow me on twitter (@thebroadhead) and check out our Facebook page at facebook.com/blessingnotstressing.  

Get Up and Move There are so many excuses to sit still for modern children.  This may be Internet viewing, tablets, phones, or hand-held game systems.  With all of these distractions, it is more important than ever to instill a habit of physical activity.  You do not have to sign you child up for little league or drag them to the gym.  Try some simple activities like taking a walk or assigning them some chores.  When a child is used to activity in their youth it makes it more likely they will continue to be active as an adult.  This can not only extend their life, it can improve their quality of life. Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts on this and other episodes at  https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/blessing-not-stressing-happy/id1186128287.  You can find other podcast episodes at https://blessingnotstressing.com/blog/podcast.  There are also deeper discussions with blog articles available there as well.  For regular updates follow me on twitter (@thebroadhead) and check out our Facebook pa

Learn From Bumps and Bruises As we return to the Karen Lock Kolp interview we look at the toddler school of hard knocks.  The little ones often suffer little bumps and bruises.  It is just a part of their daily life.  However, these little problems may seem far greater to doting and cautious parents.  We discuss allowing children to work through problems and move into a little more about her podcast and the ninja parenting community she has created. You can check out Karen's site at https://weturnedoutokay.com/.  Also, you can follow her on twitter at https://twitter.com/StoneAgeTechie or Instagram: @weturnedoutokay.  Her facebook page can be found at https://www.facebook.com/weturnedoutok/.  Finally, check out her site for links to her book and other great parenting articles. Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts on this and other episodes at  https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/blessing-not-stressing-happy/id1186128287.  You can find other podcast episodes at https://blessingnotstressing.com/b

Grades Are Important, Just Not That Important Schooling is a major part of our children's lives.  Thus, getting good grades and preparing them for the "real world" seems to be a constant topic of discussion.  A grade is a great tool for marking progress.  However, I think we can miss the greater point.  The objective should be learning and advancing while preparing for a career and adult life.  When too much focus is on grades and getting to college we are aiming too low.  College is the beginning of the rest of their lives, not the end result.  In this episode, I talk about some alternatives to grades and different areas of focus that may be a better solution for your child.  Academics and particularly the structured form (homework, study, quizzes, etc.) are not always a good measure of a child.  As with all things in life, a little moderation and thinking outside of the box can go a long way. Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts on this and other episodes at  https://itunes.apple.com/us/podca

Sleep Walking and Night Terrors I am not an expert on sleep disorders and issues.  Thus, they are a bit scary when I encounter them.  It may have to do with most of those experiences occurring in the middle of the night.  Thus, everything has a surreal sort of feeling to it. This is an episode where I share some sleep issues our family has encountered to help shed a little light on them.  If you run into similar situations it may help to know that you are not alone and others have faced the same worries. Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts on this and other episodes at  https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/blessing-not-stressing-happy/id1186128287.  You can find other podcast episodes at https://blessingnotstressing.com/blog/podcast.  There are also deeper discussions with blog articles available there as well.  For regular updates follow me on twitter (@thebroadhead) and check out our Facebook page at facebook.com/blessingnotstressing.

Karen Lock Kolp Interview Part 1 In this interview episode, I talk with Karen Lock Kolp.  She is the brain and voice behind the We Turned Out Ok podcast.  The podcast is a great addition to your library of parenting resources.  In this part of the interview, we do introductions and hear a short version of her story.  She is a homeschool parent so we touch on that briefly and look at how a chronic illness can lead to incredible blessings. You can check out her site at https://weturnedoutokay.com/ and you can follow her on twitter at https://twitter.com/StoneAgeTechie or Instagram: @weturnedoutokay. Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts on this and other episodes at  https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/blessing-not-stressing-happy/id1186128287.  You can find other podcast episodes at https://blessingnotstressing.com/blog/podcast.  There are also deeper discussions with blog articles available there as well.  For regular updates follow me on twitter (@thebroadhead) and check out our Facebook page a

Teach Kids to Be Comfortable With Who They Are As a parent, we know that there is a big difference between those that are comfortable in their skin and those that are not.  We can teach valuable skill this to our children by honestly accepting their failures and their successes.  When you point to gifts and burdens as part of what makes every child unique then you give value to all of the features of that child.  Help them to see the beauty in who they are rather than looking for accolades from others.   Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts on this and other episodes at  https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/blessing-not-stressing-happy/id1186128287.  You can find other podcast episodes at https://blessingnotstressing.com/blog/podcast.  There are also deeper discussions with blog articles available there as well.  For regular updates follow me on twitter (@thebroadhead) and check out our Facebook page at facebook.com/blessingnotstressing.  

Blending a Family is Not Easy A blended family is one of the hardest feats to achieve.  It may seem like a negative attitude, but it is just a fact of life.  Much like a couple that marries late in life, a blended family already has a lot of history to make them "set in their ways."  Moreover, blending a family requires the integration of several people and personalities.  In the end, creating a blended family is still a worthwhile pursuit.  Just do not set the bar too high too soon.  Like everything good in life, it takes time and effort. Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts on this and other episodes at  https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/blessing-not-stressing-happy/id1186128287.  You can find other podcast episodes at https://blessingnotstressing.com/blog/podcast.  There are also deeper discussions with blog articles available there as well.  For regular updates follow me on twitter (@thebroadhead) and check out our Facebook page at facebook.com/blessingnotstressing.  

An Update on the Podcast and Topics As we approach the 50th episode it seems like a good time to pause and reflect. In this episode, I take a break from interviews and look back at some prior interviews.  However, I also look ahead at some upcoming topics and interviews.  This is simply a pause to take a breath before diving into the next fifty episodes and beyond.  I do want to take this time to thank you for following along and joining me on this journey.  As always, leave a comment, a review, or send me an email with any comments, suggestions, or input from your own experiences. Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts on this and other episodes at  https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/blessing-not-stressing-happy/id1186128287.  You can find other podcast episodes at https://blessingnotstressing.com/blog/podcast.  There are also deeper discussions with blog articles available there as well.  For regular updates follow me on twitter (@thebroadhead) and check out our Facebook page at facebook.com/b

Tough Love Has Two Parts A parent that does not understand tough love will struggle to raise their children.  There are two sides to this approach.  There is the "tough" side of it and the "love" side.  When our children have to face consequences for their actions it can be very tough and painful.  For us as parents sometimes more than for our kids. It is also important to remember to bring love into your approach.  A child should be taught that consequences come from their actions.  They are not loved less by their parents due to bad choices.  Even a child that makes a long string of bad decisions should still feel their parent's love.  This makes consequences easier to understand and separates love from justice. Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts on this and other episodes at  https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/blessing-not-stressing-happy/id1186128287.  You can find other podcast episodes at https://blessingnotstressing.com/blog/podcast.  There are also deeper discussions with blog articl

A Moment of Silly Lasts a Lifetime Parents are not known for their silliness.  Well, maybe that is a part of being a Dad in some households.  However, it is rarely the first descriptive word a child uses for any parent.  I am not advocating a parent become known for their silliness, but instead that they sprinkle it into their routine.  A silly moment created by a parent can cut the tension and completely derail a ranting child.  Better yet, a silly moment can be so unique that it leaves a lasting memory for the children that witness it.  There is more to being an adult than being serious all the time.  Although you may know that, your children may not.  Therefore, you will be giving them a great gift when you let them in on our little secret. Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts on this and other episodes at  https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/blessing-not-stressing-happy/id1186128287.  You can find other podcast episodes at https://blessingnotstressing.com/blog/podcast.  There are also deepe

Do You Take This Man? In this third and final part of the Michael Meloche interview, we look at the college years and a wedding.  We started this interview with his wedding and get to wrap it up with a Father handing off his daughter.  The big event does not go off without a hitch.  Although it is not quite as bad as the movie "Father of the Bride," it has its own dramatic (and humorous) moments.  We even get treated to the idea that an aisle needs to be wider than the bride's dress. We touch on childhood sweethearts, saving for college and the mother of all events, a wedding.  This all has a happy ending as we see that even a Father that shows up later in life can earn the love and adoration of his little girl. Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts on this and other episodes at  https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/blessing-not-stressing-happy/id1186128287.  You can find other podcast episodes at https://blessingnotstressing.com/blog/podcast.  There are also deeper discussions with blog articles

When Siblings Parent Sometimes siblings gang up on each other.  This ganging up was a regular occurrence in our family for a few years.  The older ones were trying out their "responsible adult" personas by nit-picking the youngest.  These sort of situations can become very hard for a child to deal with.  A home needs to feel safe and allow a child to relax and be their self.  When ganging up occurs it can remove the child's ability to retreat somewhere safe and cause long term harm. Whether the ganging up is due to personality differences, parenting confusion, or other reasons, it should be addressed.  Talk to your children about what is acceptable and point out that they are bullying their sibling.  It might help to use your parental powers to tip the scales.  These are the cases where you should step in and defend the out-numbered child.  Letting everyone know that you are on the case provides an excellent example.  Better yet, it gives support to the one child while teaching the gang. Please leave a review

Make The Most of a Rainy Day A rainy day can be a headache.  The kids have their schedules knocked out of whack and it often moves them to their default time killers.  Whether the default is watching movies, bingeing a series, or playing video games, it is not likely the best use of time.  These days can be an opportunity to bond with your kids and create some quality time rather than waiting for the sun to come out. Although these suggestions require some time from you, it is time well spent.  We spend a lot of our time worrying about how to make quality time for the family.  Why not "steal" a rainy day of time and turn it into a memorable time.  This is so much better than trying to just find a way for the day to end. Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts on this and other episodes at  https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/blessing-not-stressing-happy/id1186128287.  You can find other podcast episodes at https://blessingnotstressing.com/blog/podcast.  There are also deeper discussions with blog

An Easy Adoption In part two of the interview with Michael Meloche we talk about the adoption of his daughter Jessie.  We go into some of the events that made them decide that adopting was the right choice.  Nevertheless, there were potential struggles with an absent parent.  Also, we look at why some things work best when you enlist the aid of an expert. We then move on to parenting when you are new to the job.  In this situation, we have a parent that is experienced and been around for the life of the child.  This situation makes them a new-comer to the party.  Thus, the parent relationship is not equal between the parents.  However, we see where a good relationship with a child can help smooth over the bumps as we guide them through life.  As always, we see where the key to good parenting is loving your child and them knowing that they are loved.   Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts on this and other episodes at  https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/blessing-not-stressing-happy/id11861282

Take Pictures Often We have cameras with us almost all the time.  This provides the opportunity to document our kids through pictures.  Take advantage of this blessing by snapping regular pictures of your kids and all their events and activities.  Make sure you save them and add notes along the way.  If you want to go a little crazy, like I did, you can even create a website. We use social sites like Facebook to show off our kids all the time.  However, Facebook may not always be available.  Use multiple storage options to keep your pictures safe and accessible to your children decades from now.  Do not forget to add a little note or description to your pics along the way.  Just a few minutes a week spent on documenting photographs can help avoid the "who is that?" reaction to those photos in the future.  If nothing else, taking all those pictures makes it easy to build an awesome and embarrassing collage of photos for graduations.  Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts on this and other episode