Kate, Tim & Marty

Jeans copped the biggest spray today as we unpacked the bizarre truth that you’re apparently not meant to wash them, which sent everyone into a full existential crisis about smells, sweat and that weird denim rigidity that ruins your day.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ricki unveiled her unhinged pre-holiday sleep schedule and honestly it’s giving elite athlete energy even though she’s just going to London to have a nice time. Tim and Joel roasted her lovingly while reminding her that normal people don’t shift their body clock half an hour every day like they’re prepping for Formula One. By the end of it all we learned that Rich is a supportive king, Ricki is basically an adult baby by choice, and no one in Australia understands jet lag less than Jermaine.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We’re chatting about some wild stage slips this weekend, from Katy Steele taking a tumble at the WA Day Festival to Miss Jamaica doing a dramatic fall at Miss Universe. Katy powered through with four broken ribs, and Miss Jamaica miraculously escaped with no broken bones. Meanwhile, Miss Mexico strutted away with the crown while everyone else was picking themselves up.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We kicked off with some serious chocolate obsession, chatting about the glory of Cadbury milk bars and why Americans just can’t get the real deal. Then it was chaos on stage with Katy Steele taking a tumble in Perth and Miss Jamaica pulling a dramatic Miss Universe slip, while Miss Mexico strutted away with the crown. On the celeb front, we had Lewis Hamilton giving Beyoncé and Jay-Z a 200-mph thrill ride, Taylor Swift secretly filming a video in Croydon, and David Harbour possibly rekindling a romance in Canada. The internet delivered with sheep doing Backstreet Boys covers, while a private jet attendant spilled the insane rules of flying A-listers. And in between, we had Brendan, Kay, and Eddie sliding into the mailbag with Raining Diamonds, LEGO roses, and some very relatable drunken song choices.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Cadbury milk chocolate has officially been crowned the greatest snack in the country after a video went viral of someone absolutely losing it over how good it tastes. They reckon it’s the undisputed champ and even had a full out of body moment while eating it. The best part is the reason Americans don’t get it the same back home because their version is made by Hershey’s and hits totally different.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

NASA might have found signs of ancient life on Mars thanks to rocks with organic carbon, Robert De Niro kept it low-key with a honey and camomile on arrival for the new Nobu skyscraper, Sir Ian McKellan hilariously roasted James Corden in a drag panto mash-up, Joe Exotic is selling private calls to fund his Netflix grievances, DWTS apparently locked in their winner before the season even started, Cardi B turned her baby’s umbilical cord into a gold statement necklace, New York restaurants are serving tiny Ozempic-friendly meals, and Brooklyn Beckham’s early photography career stumbled spectacularly on a delayed celebrity shootSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Robert De Niro kept it classy with a honey and camomile on arrival in Manchester for the new Nobu skyscraper, Sir Ian McKellan went off-script roasting James Corden in a cheeky drag panto mash-up of Wicked and Wizard of Oz, Joe Exotic is offering private phone calls for Christmas while complaining Netflix ripped him off, and Deuxmoi has the inside scoop that the DWTS winner was already decided before the season even started.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

NASA reckons there might be ancient life on Mars and suddenly the team are pitching Earth to aliens like they’re spruiking a dodgy rental on Gumtree. Joel genuinely campaigns to become queen of the galaxy and, to be honest, the aliens would probably say yes.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Blackers spills the tea on his ARIAs hosting chaos before the gang dives into a spicy round of Glossys that somehow links Ronaldo, the Beckhams and Ariana in one breath. We get into the madness of a Klimt portrait going for a casual $34.5 million, the surprising global rise of Guinness and Tarantino dropping his top five actors like it’s gospel. Then Chrissie Swan swings in for a feisty Quick Draw that absolutely lights up the room.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Chrissie Swan dropped by for Quick Draw chaos, whipped up some of her Shortcut Queen recipes including mini quiches and nostalgic snacks, and had Joel scrambling through ridiculous pantry and sky-themed challenges while showing off her kitchen antics, cooking stories, and sharp humour all in one whirlwind afternoon.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Cristiano Ronaldo strolling through Mar a Lago with Don set off a wild chat about Keith Urban oddly singing Pink Pony Club there, before everyone pivoted to Victoria Beckham’s son Cruise giving Viva Forever a red hot go, then Khloe admitting she accidentally convinced Kim the moon landing was fake, and finally Ariana Grande popping up to sing with Jimmy Fallon because why not.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Tim gives us the full backstage scoop from the ARIAs where he was hosting with Concetta Caristo and absolutely living his best sparkly awards-night life. From Keli Holiday kicking things off with G Flip and Baker Boy to Missy Higgins winning straight after belting out Complicated Truth, the night was stacked.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In a very rare game of Name Em, Ricki reveals to us that she auditioned for Season 1 of Australian Idol... and GOT REJECTED! Find out why now.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We had Mitch Churi jumping in while Blackers swanned around the Arias and it honestly felt like leaving your house keys with the fun neighbour who definitely lets the dog on the couch. Childhood meals came roaring back with tuna mornay trauma, electric wok chicken crimes and enough apricot chicken energy to trigger a whole generation. A UK school banned a K-Pop song for being a bit too Demon Hunter which is exactly the kind of drama the tuckshop needed in the 2000s. The Glossy’s delivered everything from Taylor and Travis inspiring the word parasocial to Ariana getting all handsy in the sweetest way plus Keith Urban copping heat and Trump calling someone Piggy. We wrapped it all with a round of Name Em that went off like burnt dinner rolls forgotten in the oven.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Childhood meals came roaring back with the trauma of apricot chicken, tuna mornay and whatever crimes were happening inside those electric woks. Callers rolled in with dishes so cooked they should be classified as psychological warfare. And somehow ham steak with pineapple had a moment.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

James Cameron had his Titanic cast freezing their bits off in real ice water and turns out their screams were very real. Then we found out a new study reckons teen binge drinkers end up earning more which feels like the most unhinged career advice ever printed. Glossy land gave us everything from Cynthia and Ariana losing their voices to Tom Cruise accidentally cosplaying Nicole Kidman’s AMC ad. We checked out the Moana live action tease and even the Oasis ticket prices got a roast. Plus the bloke who rushed Ariana at the Wicked premiere is now in the slammer and we had plenty of questions about prison life.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Looks like we’ve officially hit the taste freeze, betch. Spotify reckons once you hit 33, your music brain just goes, yeah nah, I’m good, and stops chasing the shiny new stuff. It’s not a crisis though, your playlists just get a little more… eclectic.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

James Cameron popped up again to remind everyone he’s Hollywood’s king of “let’s make it real even if everyone freezes their bits off”. Titanic’s sinking scenes weren’t just acting… he blasted the cast with actual icy water and didn’t exactly give them a heads up about the pressure. Turns out those terrified faces were less Oscar worthy and more “oh my god I can’t feel my spine”. So now we want to know… how did your boss surprise you?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The world’s best cheese has been crowned and yes, it’s fancy Swiss Gruyere again. Airbnb is giving 20 lucky humans the chance to live like Elphaba with Cynthia Erivo in California. Robert Irwin’s dating, Britney’s sleepovers are chaotic, and Timothee Chalamet is basically handing out Oscars at a high school basketball court. Yungblud’s taking a break to not fall apart, and Pharrell’s producer tag still makes him instantly recognisable. And Raya might go public, so start swiping if you fancy a celeb date.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Things got wildly futuristic today with the story of a woman in Japan who ditched her real life fiancé for an A.I. groom who lives in her phone. Yep, she had the full wedding, vows and all, while guests watched her digital husband send emotional messages like he was in The Notebook but with software updates.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.