Everybody Hates Rand: A Wheel Of Time Podcast

Hey there, welcome to our season finale! It's longer and crazier than usual as we wrap up the Eye of the World - discussion topics include Chop-Chop Guy, the Frequency of Cliffs, everyone's Signature Drinks, and Sally's bold argument in favor of Mat's sociopathy. Transcript

This is not actually episode 24 as Sally claims it is, but episode 25 where we discuss such important things as the curse of Laura Ingalls Wilder, Just Pure Magic™, what it means to DTR in the Mad Max desert, and Wheel of Time’s most important character: Jude Law. Transcript

Like Lan's entire country of origin, the entire twenty-minute intro of this episode was deleted. It's fine. This episode is weird enough without it. We talk about Chumbawamb​a: Portal Guardians, our gay uncle Agelmar, and the academic AU. Transcript

​In this episode we talk about our heroes' journey through the Ways, but more importantly, we also discuss Mentor Resumes, Edgelord Loial, the Best Shark Attack, Village Idiots, the Shared Kirby Air Ride Consciousness, and Egg Head. Transcript

​This episode got a little out of . . . hand. Ha ha! Just a little hand joke for you, about ten books too early for puns like these. But seriously, we should have been talking about the Ways, and instead we complained about this book's weird plot. So it goes. Transcript

​This is the episode where we Fix Wheel of Time. Of course Rand is in a coma, Mat is illiterate, and everything is gayer, but we also devote about four hundred percent more screen time to the most underrated character in the series: Lamgwin's cat. Transcript

We've now recorded twenty episodes of this podcast, which is crazy. Fittingly, we meet about twenty more main characters in this section, most of whom we hate. At least Galad is there!​ Transcript

We spent the last ten minutes of this episode Googling that whole Luc/Isam thing that Robert Jordan never really explained. Other discussion topics this week include Galad Appreciation, Thom IS The Entree, and Sally Puts Emily On Blast. Transcript

The boys are off the road and straight into Basel Gill's downtown hotel for wayward and semi-demonically-possessed teens. We talk about arbitrary political decisions, Thom's loan sharks, and how Loial is the world's most precious and perfect boy. Transcript

WELCOME TO SAD KITCHEN. WE'RE ALL SAD HERE. Transcript

​We're on the HIIIIGHWAAAY TO HELL. Or Caemlyn, or whatever. This week we're joining Rand and Mat as they spread the gleeman's gospel with a bunch of farmers and inn patrons. There's cow whispering. There's deus ex machina. Most of all, there's the power of friendship. Transcript

We're finally wrapping up Perrin's points of view, which means we get to ditch the Whitecloaks! At least until book two. Discussion topics include Nynaeve seducing Lan via woodcraft, That's How We Do on Game of Thrones, and Byar as Hannah Arendt's "banality of evil." Transcript

Sorry for the long episode, folks. We just got so caught up in our discussion of steddings, statues, Sting, and Galad's tight, tight bod. Downright captivating stuff. Transcript

We were both sick when we recorded this, so please excuse any coughs, sneezes, or tears that slipped through the editing process. Fittingly, we spent most of this episode talking about mercy-killing. Please, Perrin. The Mucinex isn't working. Use your axe on us. Transcript

We took a week off from our usual recording schedule, but never fear: we've still got that sweet, sweet WoT content for you. Sally listens to and reviews Robert Berry's "A Soundtrack for the Wheel of Time," and Emily refuses to believe that someone actually Did That. Listen along on Spotify. Transcript

We're hanging out with the Tinkers this week, and you know what that means: a LONG conversation about sexy dancing. We also wonder about the significance of music in Wheel of Time, weigh in on the passive-aggressive war over Perrin's axe, and worship Egwene: Flirtation Queen. ​ Transcript

We're baaaaack! To Perrin and Egwene, that is. Elyas, a wolf-telepathic wild man they just met, has agreed to guide them to Caemlyn, which isn't sketchy at ALL. In this episode we talk mostly about the Tuatha'an, their real-world parallels, and how they deserve better than being a metaphor in Perrin's inner​ conflict about violence. Transcript

In our second installment of the "Thom and His Backup Dancers: Rand and Mat" saga, we reach Whitebridge! We talk about ancient architecture, the Illian Timeline, and Thom passing on his Bard-en. Oh, and that dream sequence we completely skipped last week.​ Transcript

In this episode we take a minute (or ten) to explain why we hate Rand - though we're also willing to admit he has some good qualities, particularly in this sequence. While Mat goes full Smeagol, we're dealing with pirates, flute-playing, and the epic fantasy tradition of dividing magic and technology. ​ Transcript

We talk more about memes, kinks, and sex toys than we ever will again in this podcast. Hopefully. If you don't think memes, kinks, and sex toys are related to werewolves, think again! So: Is Perrin a furry?​ Transcript