How To Get Away With Parenting



All the questions I probably should have asked before I had a kid.


  • Episode 62 - No Christmas Gifts This Year?

    03/12/2017 Duración: 01h15min

    My husband and I have a long chat about everything, from how he's been addressing white privilege with other white people when people of color aren't around, to our continuing preschool indecision. And, I reveal to him that I'm not going to get our daughter a Christmas gift this year. But, Santa might get her something.  Eben seems to be making progress in his goal of talking about racism to white people. He first declared it here: Episode 39 - What will our legacy be?  The book I'm currently reading/listening to is How To Talk So Little Kids Will Listen. I really like it.  I found wrapping paper with a black Santa on it. He's called Clarence Claus from Greentop Gifts.  I was inspired to check in on my fibroids because of this episode of Dem Black Mamas. Website me:  Email me:  Tweet me: @htgawp Rate and review me:

  • Episode 61 - Will Colonialism Ruin My Parenting Goals?

    05/11/2017 Duración: 46min

    I talk a good game about respectful parenting and child-directed learning but deep down, I'm a typical Guyanese mother. What does that mean? My friend Nyoka Acevedo and I break it down in this episode. She's a committed educator and passionate Restorative Justice advocate. And, Nyoka is a Puerto Rican mother trying to sift through a lot of historical bullshit that weighs us down. This episode is full of questions. Not a lot of answers. And, a great tip at the end about how to teach your toddler not to scream in your face when they want your attention.  Nyoka told me about a great resource for Restorative Justice work here in Oakland!  Another shout out to friend in my head, Akilah Richards, who's raising Free Children and discussing it on her podcast   Website me:  Email me:  Tweet me: @htgawp Rate and review me:

  • Episode 60 - Pee Pee In The Potty?

    31/10/2017 Duración: 46min

    I watch entirely too many YouTube daily vlogs and thus got it into my head that I could do a daily podcast about parenting. So, in this episode I pop in every few days to update you on the day to day joys and struggles of respectfully parenting a toddler. We had a HUGE event happen during this week that I had to document. My husband even makes and appearance! As usual, I ask a lot of questions to all the listeners so I don't feel so alone. So, let me know what you think! Website me:  Email me:  Tweet me: @htgawp Rate and review me:

  • Episode 59 - Can Black Parents Be Minimalists?

    15/10/2017 Duración: 01h51min

    I sit down and have a loooong chat with my new friends Pastaveia and Sean from EcoConsciousLifestyle! They're expecting their first baby and plan to maintain their minimalist lifestyle. I had questions! They are also interested in respectful parenting. I had answers! We also got in to a much needed discussion about how both of these life choices have a distinct impact on us as black parents. Stay tuned to the end where I regale them with my positive birth story in an effort to take the fear out of the big day. Show notes: Pastaveia and Sean are part of the Black Minimalist movement.  Sean's into this book and Pastaveia is into this book. Throughout her plant-based pregnancy Pastevia relied on books and YouTube channels like Mama Glow: A Hip Guide to Your Fabulous Abundant Pregnancy Book by Latham Thomas and also found recipes from Jenne Clairborne's Sweet Potato Soul. I go on a rant about why it's especially important for parents of black children NOT to use tough love as a way of preparing them for the "

  • Episode 58 - How are we going to pay for college?

    20/08/2017 Duración: 46min

    I don't even know where to begin when it come to saving up for my kid's college education. Should we try to save for all 4 years or just a set amount and supplement the rest with scholarships and grants? Is our kid doomed to a life of debt if she takes out loans? What if she doesn't even want to go to college? I asked Linda Stern, brilliant personal finance journalist, and one of my best friends' mom, all these questions and more. Lots of helpful tips that put mind at ease and even gave me a reason to maybe have a second kid.   You can tweet Linda @lindastern   Website me:  Email me:  Tweet me: @htgawp Rate and review me:

  • Episode 57 - Listener Questions!

    16/07/2017 Duración: 01h06min

    My husband and I answer some questions about trying to teach Lucy Spanish, parenting while tired, and what to do when your kid won't let you read to them. Lucy makes several appearances in this episode which highlights the fact that we're clearly not parenting experts.   Show notes:   Janet Lansbury links, again: podcast and audiobooks Here's the article I mention about raising a truly bilingual child:   Website me:  Email me:  Tweet me: @htgawp Rate and review me:  

  • Episode 56 - Preschool already?

    02/07/2017 Duración: 01h01min

    I can't believe it's already time for us to start thinking about preschool. My kid only just turned 2! Am I late to the search party?Should toddlers be doing "STEM" work? How many kids should be in the classroom? I sat down with my kid's best friend's mom, and my new pal, Josephine Saunders, to get some tips about the preschool process. Josephine's a school teacher and has put one other kid through preschool. So I wanted to pick her brain.    Website me:  Email me:  Tweet me: @htgawp Rate and review me:  

  • Episode 55 - No Excuses

    25/06/2017 Duración: 53min

    It's been so long! My husband and I are just shooting the breeze about life and how hard it is to clean our house. Also, neighbor drama! And more, yes, MORE toddler tantrums. Website me:  Email me:  Tweet me: @htgawp Rate and review me:  

  • Episode 54 - How do I teach my kid to be polite?

    28/05/2017 Duración: 01h38min

    I've been struggling between the trying to instill empathy and kindness in my daughter and not trying impose strict manners and politeness rules on her. I'm walking the line between respectful parenting and respectability politics. But, I know there has got to an appropriate balance. So, I called in my favorite parenting podcaster, Melitsa Avila. She gives me 10 Social Life Skills that can help all of us guide our kids as they navigate social interactions. We talk about everything from helping them cope with being judged by the color of their skin to showing them how to disagree and/or apologize to people in an appropriate way. This episode is long, and it's worth taking notes!   You can find a TON of Melitsa's useful tips about raising school aged children on her podcast Growing Nimble Families She has also created lots of Character Conversation Cards to help families get the hang of discussing tricky topics with each other.  Check out Melitsa's Twitter page for a million more ideas and inspirational paren

  • Episode 53 - We have a 2 year old!

    14/05/2017 Duración: 51min

    It's official, we have a 2 year old! My husband and I are astounded that we somehow have a kept our daughter alive and happy for 2 years now. We talk about what it's been like so far and what we hope the future will bring with a real deal toddler.     Website me:   Email me:  Tweet me: @htgawp Rate and review me:  

  • Episode 52 - Help Your Kids Love Veggies

    07/05/2017 Duración: 47min

    We all want our kids to be healthy eaters. But, like most parenting stuff, it's so haaaard! Especially when we're not exactly leaders in the healthy eating realm. But, is it possible to transition your kid from eating only nuggets and fries to gobbling up spinach and quinoa? I asked Malika Pham how she made the switch with her two little ones. We also chat about how her son's autism diagnosis helped her to get more intentional and creative with how she feeds her family.   You can find Malika on Instagram, Facebook, and her website Malika mentions The GAPS Diet and how it helped her navigate her son's gut issues.   Website me:  Email me:  Tweet me: @htgawp Rate and review me:

  • Episode 51 - Marriage Counselling for Parents

    30/04/2017 Duración: 52min

    My husband and I talk to a renowned couples therapist about marriage and personal growth while parenting. The wonderful Esther Boykin, LMFT weighs in on how to support connection between partners and within the entire family. We also talk about being naked around our kids and how to handle parenting disagreements without resentment. She also tells us the 2 most important elements that will help us be better partners and better parents. Hint: it's all about working on ourselves first.   S h o w   N o t e s   Esther is the CEO of Group Therapy Associates located in the Washington D.C., Maryland, Virginia region. GTA is a boutique counseling and coaching agency for people who want to live happier and healthier lives. But, more importantly GTA is "a safe place to let out your fears and frustrations and actually start to change your life for the better.   She is also working on a really cool project called Therapy Is Not A Dirty Word. It's a Q&A Happy Hour featuring great food, great drinks, and great conve

  • Episode 50 - I figured out potty training!

    23/04/2017 Duración: 11min

    Just me, on my own, again. But, I think I've had a breakthrough about potty training. It's a pretty simple plan that I'm going to be super easy breezy about and not at all worry that I'm doing it wrong. But, just in case I read about 16 parenting articles on the subject. Here are a few of them: I went to my parenting oracle Janet Lansbury for some tips:   Toilet Training In One Simple Step   I hate the title of this article because I think it's a bit fear mongering. But, it's got some good info:   Website me:    Email me:  Tweet me: @htgawp Rate and review me:    

  • Episode 49 - Just me and the kid

    16/04/2017 Duración: 11min

    No guest this week so I asked my daughter to be on the podcast with me. But, she only lasted for a couple of minutes. She's got places to be, apparently. So, I give a short recap of our week and some of the stuff I've been thinking about lately when it comes to parenting. Specifically, when and why should a toddler stop using a pacifier. And, more potty training angst.   Website me:  Email me:  Tweet me: @htgawp Rate and review me:

  • Episode 48 - Toddler Woes and Undoing Childhood Trauma

    09/04/2017 Duración: 59min

    My pal Amanda is back with me for this episode. We have a much needed rant about dealing with toddlers. We also do some pretty deep work about our efforts to parent differently than we were parented. Sometimes that means looking at some of the traumatic experiences we had as children and then undoing that mindset so that we don't impose it on our children. Like it said, it gets deep. Show Notes: Spare the Kids: Why Whupping Children Won't Save Black America by Stacey Patton   Friend in my head (and on Twitter) and fellow black mom podcaster, Akilah Richards is teaching an online workshop about raising liberated children of color called Raising Free People.   Some books that have helped me get some perspective on life with a toddler: No Bad Kids by Janet Lansbury Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D.   This TED Talk by badass Black lady pediatrician Nadine Burke Harris will open your eyes about the reality of how we raise our kid

  • Episode 47 - What do you want from us?

    02/04/2017 Duración: 56min

    Our daughter joins my husband and me on this episode. We talk about some of the topics HTGAWP listeners have said they'd like to hear us talk about.  Here are some of the linkable things I mentioned in this episode: Raising Playful Tots podcast by Melitsa Avila Jen's episode about picky toddlers: Your Parenting Mojo--It's not about the broccoli   Website me:   Email me:  Tweet me: @htgawp Rate and review me:

  • Episode 46 - Tantrums: How do I help my kid find inner peace?

    26/03/2017 Duración: 01h20min

    My daughter has been having A LOT of...emotional outbursts, shall we say. I know it's because she's frustrated or overwhelmed or just feeling out of sorts. But, how can I help her? And also, how can I get ok with her feelings? I asked Kelley Carboni-Woods to teach me her wise ways. She's an author, yoga instructor, mother of 2 tots, a Zen Master (my words, not hers) and a self-described recovering yeller. She's got a ton of great advice about everything from cleansing breaths to daily mantras.    Kelley's book is available on Amazon:   You can find her everywhere: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest   Also, Kelley mentions Scrap Gardening in this episode. It's amazing!   Website me:  Email me:  Tweet me: @htgawp Rate and review me:

  • Episode 45 - Why won't my kid go to sleep?

    19/03/2017 Duración: 01h17min

    Man, we had a sweet window of about 4 weeks when my daughter would go straight to sleep at 7pm and then not make a peep until about 6am. Now bedtime is all over the place and we're in and out of her room doing a dog and pony show just to get her to lay down and chill for a few hours. My friend Vanessa Johnson was also having a crisis trying to teach her baby how to sleep. So she hired an expert to help. In this episode I grill Vanessa for all the secrets that this wise woman taught her. Website me: (LEAVE A COMMENT!)  Email me:  Tweet me: @htgawp Rate and review me:

  • Episode 44 - Does my kid hate my husband?

    12/03/2017 Duración: 01h01min

    I convinced my husband to come back on the podcast for a special episode about how our daughter keeps rejecting him. I hope she doesn't hate us when she grows up. Please comment on the website if you have any advice or ideas for us. Website me:  Email me:  Tweet me: @htgawp Rate and review me:

  • Episode 43 - Meal Planning & Time Management

    05/03/2017 Duración: 01h09min

    As a somewhat reluctant stay-at-home mom I've been dragging my feet when it comes to meal planning and general household management. So I recruited Mimi from Unlikely Martha to help me get it together. She's got sooo much wisdom to share. But, don't get it twisted! She'll be the first person to tell you that she's not perfect either. I think that's why so many folks love her. We chat about everything from giving our children plenty of affection and tenderness to "time chunking" mundane tasks with a stop watch. She's doing it all. This episode is so chock full of info that I'm bringing back the full show notes. Here we go:   You can keep up with Mimi and all her greatness on her blog Unlikely Martha Her entire Pinterest page is poppin' but the Recipes section is what I'm loving the most Mimi lives in Georgia and sometimes uses Southern Savers to look for grocery deals It all comes down to planning! Mimi uses The Happy Planner.   Website me:   Email me:  Tweet me: @htg

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