Parent With A Pro

In our last episode, we talked about coaching our kids through their big emotions. We also talked about how important it is to give our kids tools they can use to calm their own emotions instead of us trying to do that for them as parents. Therapist Jeff Tesch, LMFT has made that simple by creating a tool called "The Big 5". This is something like an emergency kit for when your kids are experiencing big emotions. This simple emotional tool kit will help them calm down from any big emotion. Bonus: it works for grown-ups, too! Listen here or on your favorite podcast app.

One of the struggles of parenting a strong-willed child is navigating their HUGE emotions all of the time!  Strong-willed kids seem to feel all that they feel in such extremes!  Their either extremely happy and sweet or extremely angry and upset. What is a parent to do? Jeff Tesch, LMFT teaches us exactly what a parent should do based off of decades of research by John Gottman.  Learn the ins and outs of emotional coaching in today's episode.  You'll be so glad you did! Listen here.  

One of the things that can be most challenging about parenting a strong-willed child, is dealing with the way they treat you.  Strong-willed kids tend to be sassier, use more back talk, yell more frequently, and say unkind things than other kids.  Our strong-willed kids don't do this because they're mean, they do it out of an effort to get what they want.  But understanding that doesn't make it any easier to deal with it day in and day out. Today, we're going to give you a tool that will help your kids learn to treat you with more kindness and respect. What's great about this tool is that it can be used in ALL of your human relationships not just in your parent-child relationship. Happy Learning!  

How do you truly feel about raising a strong-willed child?  Do you love it? Or do you find it incredibly frustrating?  Do you feel disappointed that you got a child that is SO different than the one you were hoping for?  Do you find yourself feeling like you're THAT parent, the one with the screaming child?  The one getting called by the school?  The one whose kid is picking on someone else and you just wish things were different? If so, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! Last episode, we talked about thinking positive thoughts about your strong-willed child.  But what if you can't see anything positive?  What if they're behavior has gotten you into a trap of seeing only negative in them? That's what this episode is all about.  Parents and experts, Jeff and Laura Tesch, talk to us about how to change how we genuinely feel about raising a strong-willed child.  This episode was seriously so good for me and has helped me celebrate my strong-willed child instead of wish that I had an easy-going child.  I hope it helps you as

I have not wanted to admit it, but I have developed the habit of thinking REALLY negative thoughts about my strong-willed child.  It happened over time.  With each melt-down, back-talk, tantrum, act of defiance, act of aggression, etc. I thought more and more negative things.  Eventually, I found that I really struggled to think anything positive about my strong-willed child and that broke my heart. This led me to meeting with Janet Cazier, LCSW who helps parents get into a more positive place when parenting a challenging child.  Today we talk about a powerful way to see the good in your child again and genuinely enjoy parenting them more.  I don't hesitate in saying that if you practice what she teaches, it will positively change your parenting experience big time. Please listen if you feel stuck in negative thoughts about your child at all and be sure to listen to the next episode as we will dive into this topic even more. Listen here.  Podcast summary coming soon.

In our last episode, we talked about some ways our strong-willed kids struggle socially and how to help them through that.  Today we continue the conversation to learn how to help them even more. Thanks again to one of our experts, Mike Fitch, CMHC  who specializes in helping kids develop social skills that will set them up for success. Listen here.  Podcast summary coming soon.  

As parents, we all want our kids to succeed socially.  We want our kids to make good friends, keep good friends, and to be a good friend themselves.  We even want these things for our strong-willed kids.  However, strong-willed kids seem to struggle to get along with others, which can be so hard on you AND your child. Luckily, one of our experts, Mike Fitch, CMHC specializes in helping kids develop social skills that will set them up for success.  In this episode, you are going to learn specific social challenges that strong-willed kids have and how to work around those challenges.  Make sure to check out part two coming two weeks! Listen here.  Podcast summary coming soon.

I don't know how many of you have had an experience where your strong-willed child has struggled socially, at school, or just with other people in general. Many people in our Facebook group, have said that they've been sad to see how their kids struggle with friends or in different social settings.  That can be really hard for us as parents because we want our kids to have a happy life. So we're going to talk this month about some of those different interpersonal struggles that are strong- willed kids might have and how to set them up for success. Our strong-willed kids may not be aware of how their personality affects others.  This is true for all of us.  It’s amazing that even though you’re in your own body and in your own mind, you still can’t see things clearly. Our kiddos need our help to understand how their natural strengths and weaknesses can help or hurt in their relationships with others. Here’s six ways you can help them better understand: Listen here. Blog post version coming soon.

Listen here or READ the post below. One of the characteristics that we see in a lot of strong-willed kids is a tendency to be negative.  This can be hard for us to listen to as parents and we worry as parents because we know that positive thoughts lead to a positive life.  However, many of us wonder how to help a child who seems naturally negative to become more positive.  We may even wonder if it’s possible! The good news is that research shows that individuals can actually train their brain to be more positive.  You can literally rewire the brain to be happy.  We're here today with clinical mental health counselor, Mike Fitch, to learn how to train our brain to see the positive. Mike Fitch, CMHC Positivity, Negativity, and the Brain Retraining or rewiring the brain to be more positive comes down to something called conditioning.  Most people have heard of conditioning before, but I want to give a little refresher on what it is. Conditioning is when we train the brain to behave a certain way by consist

Listen here or READ the post below. One of the biggest roles that we have as a parent is being aware of our child's strengths and their weaknesses, then trying minimize the negative effects of the weaknesses and bringing out and channel their strengths. One of the weaknesses that our strong-willed kids has is being IMPULSIVE.  Strong-willed kids want what they want, right when they want it. Today we get to talk to Clinical Mental Health Counselor, Mike Fitch to learn how to help our kids THINK before they ACT. Mike Fitch, CMHC I deal with impulsive kids both in my clinical work and at home. It's good to have the personal experience so I can empathize with a lot of the parents that I work with. Just like all of you and the parents I work with, there are times I really want to pull my own hair out and times where I question my own parenting. If I haven't screwed my kids up so far, there's a good chance you won't either. Expect the process to take time Each of us have characteristics or features that we w

Listen here or READ the post below. If you have listened to August at all, you know that we're talking about the tough temperament of the strong willed child. Things that are just part of their personality that drive us nuts as parents. You need to listen or read our first interview from this month because we talk about some things that are critical to know about your strong-willed child’s personality. But we wanted to spend the rest of the month talking about some specific temperament issues that are frustrating and give you some tips on how to navigate those. One of the biggest concerns that we hear from parents is that their child is oppositional. That everything is a fight.  They are oppositional from sunrise to sunset. Whether parents are trying to get them to eat breakfast, get dressed, get in the car, do a chore, or do their homework, their child just feels the need to put up a fight.  This process can be so exhausted for a parent and create real tension in the parent-child relationship. Luckily,

Listen here or READ the post below. We are in August if you can believe it. The topic for this month is the strong willed child's temperament, their natural personality that they're born with.  We want to help you understand it better, have some compassion for where they're coming from, get to know some specific characteristics in their temperament that can be challenging and some parenting tips on how to navigate those specific characteristics. Marriage and family therapist, Jeff Tesch is going to help us understand our strong-willed child’s personality a little better today. Jeff Tesch LMFT, MS Common Characteristics of the Strong-willed Child’s Personality Most parents are WELL aware of their strong-willed child’s characteristics, but I think it’s worth mentioning again briefly. Strong-willed kids are usually: Less flexible Defiant Oppositional Emotionally reactive Want what they want, when they want it Want to be in charge Resistant to the desires of others Don’t like being told “N

Listen here or READ the post below. Last week we learned that strong-willed kids are more likely to struggle with addiction than other children. This is a HUGE concern to many parents. If it's a concern to you, then you don't want to miss today's interview with Mike Fitch, CMHC. We talk about ways you can help prevent addictions, warning signs of addiction, and some things you can do as a parent if you think your child is struggling with an addiction. Mike Fitch, CMHC Here's a quick recap from last week: Strong-willed children are more likely to struggle with addictions than other children. The three most common addictions for kids are: Electronics Pornography Junk food Kids get addicted to these things easily because they release "feel good" hormones in the brain Now let's talk about prevention, warning signs, and early intervention for each of the three most common addictions. Unhealthy Food Prevention: First, limit the amount of unhealthy foods you keep in the home.  I don't think tha

Listen here or READ the post below. When I’m not at home or being a parent, I get to be a dental hygienist.  To keep my license current I have to take a certain amount of health science classes each year.  In one class that I took on the brain and addiction, I learned that strong-willed kids are far more likely struggle with addiction. As a parent of a strong-willed child and aunt to many more, I was really concerned. So today and next week, we’re going to learn more about addiction and why our strong-willed kids struggle with it more. Here's my interview with Mike Fitch, CMHC about addictions. Mike Fitch CMHC A lot of my clients struggle with addiction.  It is just becoming so common. We are constantly surrounded by things that we can get addicted to.  We’re not just talking drugs today but also food, porn, and electronics. What’s saddest to me is how often people are very innocently exposed to addiction and get trapped. In fact, a recent study stated that kids will be exposed to porn by age 8-10 an

Listen here or READ the post below.   There are a lot of different parenting beliefs out there.  Some that help us and some that don't.  Today we're going to learn about 3 parenting myths therapists wish we didn't buy into. Janet Cazier, LCSW Myth #1 Parents are 100% Responsible for Their Children One myth I see parents getting sucked into is that they are 100% responsible for their kids success in ALL of the following areas:Y Mental health Physical health Emotional health Scholastic success Social success Choices Etc. This is so easy to do, because when a child is born, you are responsible for SO MUCH in their life.  It’s your job to try to meet their needs.   However, unless you’ve been taught differently, it’s very easy to continue to feel like your role is to keep meeting all of child's needs. Here’s why this is a problem: Parents that feel responsible for everything in their child’s life, unintentionally become controlling. Often, kids that feel controlled will rebel. If you are

Listen here or READ the post below.   I don't know how many of us want to be taking full responsibility for our children well into adulthood.  Caring for them while they're young is hard enough.  But did you know that preparing your kids to move out, get jobs, and become independent adults starts when they are little?  Did you also know there are some things we can do as parents to sabotage our children's ability to become capable adults?  Learn which four mistakes you need to avoid if you want your kids to take care of themselves one day. Jeff Tesch, LMFT What does an independent and healthy adult look like? Takes ownership for their life Understands that consequences are a result of their choices.  This understanding leads them to be careful and intentional about their choices so they can have positive consequences instead of negative ones. Gainfully employed Continually seeks to improve themselves Lives on their own Is capable of managing a home, finances, and relationships Takes pride i

Listen here or READ the post below: We are shifting our focus this month from concerns that parents have about their kids to concerns the EXPERTS have about our kids.  For the next five weeks, we are going to let you know what issues the therapists are seeing over and over again in their work.  We are also going to let you know what you need to do to avoid the sad situations they are dealing with.  I can't stress enough how important the information you are going to learn in July is!  Make sure you check out each post/podcast made in this month! For today: We get to discuss how to keep your kids open with you and talking with you about what is going on in their world.  Would you believe that how you LISTEN to your kids can significantly affect their willingness to share what's going on in their lives with you?  Read below the learn the three-letter acronym you must remember to keep your children open with you. Why we want our kids to be open with us Let's first think about WHY we want our kids to be open w

LISTEN TO THE EPISODE OR READ THE POST BELOW One of the misbehaviors many parents can’t stand, is when their children treat them disrespectfully.  It’s completely appropriate that disrespectful behavior irritates parents and it’s not wrong to want it to stop.  The question is HOW DO WE GET OUR KIDS TO TREAT US RESPECTFULLY? Mike Fitch, CMHC What Parents Need to Know First You do not have to put up with disrespectful behavior.  It is OK to expect those in your life to talk to you kindly and to treat you with respect.  The tough thing is training others how to treat you.  It takes a lot of work, a lot of patience, and choosing to be 100% firm with others about the way they interact with you, but it is possible. If you want to know how, keep reading. Step #1 Get clear with your family about what respect sounds like/looks like/feels like Our kids are not born knowing what the difference between respect and disrespect is.  They need us to teach them and be EXTREMELY clear with them about what respect sounds li

What is it about whining that is so annoying to us as parents?  Is it the high-pitched tones, the sign of ingratitude, the lack of patience?  Whatever it is, we don’t want to hear whining. But is there a way to get our kids to talk to us appropriately and to no longer whine?  That’s what we talk about today with Janet Cazier, LCSW and mom of seven!   Janet Cazier, LCSW It is OK for parents to not allow their kids to whine.  In my experience, parents are too patient with it. Parents allow it to go on longer than it should. Make whining a problem for your child rather than a problem for you This is true of all misbehaviors.  If the parents are the only ones bothered by a misbehavior, they’re also going to be the only ones that want the behavior to stop.  However, if parents can find ways to make misbehavior a problem for the child, all of the sudden, the CHILD is motivated to change. Most often I hear parents respond to whining by saying “Stop it”.  This doesn’t work because that doesn’t really bother the

Are your kids big stinks in the back seat of your car?  Are they driving you nuts while you're driving them places?  Then you'll want to check out this episode.  Janet Cazier, LMFT and mom of seven gives her top tips for getting your kids to behave well while in the car.  Her tips are seriously awesome!  I feel like I have so many more tools to use now. Happy learning! LISTEN ABOVE OR READ THE SUMMARY BELOW Janet Cazier, LMFT Sometimes kids can be the biggest stinkers in the car!  They know that you are occupied with driving, you can't reach them, you're limited in what consequences you can give them, and that tempts them to use behaviors that aren't the best. Luckily, I'm going to share some tips with you that will help your kids behave a lot better when you're driving places. The most important things that I want you to get out of this are: Kids CAN learn how to behave in the care You need to be REALLY clear about what behaviors are not tolerated in the care You need to find creative ways to ma