Don't Do It Yourself



You look like you could use some help. We're an instruction/comedy podcast, where we take Wikihows and requests to create new how-to guides. It gets out of control pretty quickly.


  • DDIY 53 - Witch Hand

    26/11/2014 Duración: 39min

    This episode is brought to you by Mountain Dew and the new Lionsgate Film Crime Baby.   By the end of this we created a lone ranger-esque cowboy who rides a camel wearing geisha makeup and was cursed by a gypsy to have a witch hand, but only when he's about to masturbate.    Wikihows: How to Paint a Guy's Toe and Fingernails While He's Asleep, How to Buy a Camel Cosmo: Sex Move or BJ Move - Christmas Edition.  

  • DDIY 52 - Weaponized Facebook

    21/11/2014 Duración: 53min

    We get to the hard questions, the ones that have really been troubling you. Which Spice Girl would you spend time in a sack with? How do you get arrested for sex mimes? Are koalas the guns of Australia? How terrible are people who like feet? How can you weaponize Facebook? Which is 'the good boob'? If you call someone a 'dirty nickel stacker', is that racist? Why won't my hermit crab respond to his name, Jeff? Is there some kind of correlation between maintaining an erection and meeting new people?       Wikihows: How to meet new people without being creepy, how to approach that hot stranger you've been eyeing, How to stack a nickel spiral, how to name a hermit crab.

  • DDIY 51 - Jenny Got a Hemi

    14/11/2014 Duración: 56min

    We're back after a brief intermission! We've been recording steadily but Clay fell behind in editing episodes, but we are back to weekly releases. Clay says he's sorry. We believe him. This week we tackle two wikihows, a new segment, and another dose of Cosmo.  Topics: Chopped- Halloween Edition,  I Dare You To Kill Me, Salty Floor Dogs, Ghost Toast, Jenny Got a Hemi,DP tax returns, Ole' Bucketfist, Pin in the Finger, Cock Ring Bearer. Wikihows: 5 Halloween costume ideas, how to keep friends close Cosmo: How to make it less/more awkward Reality TV Show Pitch: Drunk Ghost Hunting

  • DDIY 50 - Tighter Than Hagrid's Hut

    20/10/2014 Duración: 46min

    We finally hit the big 50! We're an over the hill podcast now. Thanks everyone who has listened over the past year. Grab the latest Cosmo mag, sidle up to the S.S. Waterspout's fish fountain and let's enjoy our time together.   Topics: SS Waterspout, I'm not goth I just miss grandma, Buffalo Bill, A Song of Vanilla Ice and Fire, Clay reads us Cosmo,  Bottomless Daiquris, Kiss and Release, Hagrid's Hut, Squid Salad, Fishing for Razors, Zac's future job at Cosmo, Toilet Hand. Wikihows: How to react after your wikihow article has been deleted, Cosmo's Manthropology, How to retrieve a razor from the toilet?

  • DDIY 49 - Ken Grippyfeet, Jr.

    13/10/2014 Duración: 53min

    NSFW. I know most of our episodes aren't safe for work, but this one is the worst in a long time. If you don't like people talking about diarrhea, I'd suggest checking out our other 48 episodes. If you like poop jokes, then the first ten minutes is your El Dorado. Once you make it through the first wikihow, we go on to talk about selfies, tattoos of the Lion King on your testicles, hashtags, living in a dungeon, and the best baseball player of all time who now lives in a dungeon and devolved his eyes, Ken Grippyfeet Jr. #blessed   Wikihows: How to get rid of diarrhea while someone is in the bathroom, How to practice good selfie etiquette, how to live in a dungeon. 

  • DDIY 48 - Downwind Abbey

    06/10/2014 Duración: 47min

    How can you find a dragon in the 21st century? They probably own a Cash for Gold business and are wearing sandals with pants. How do you properly spoon someone? We suggest the Ampersandwich or the Matrix. How rough was it to live near a dragon? According to the newest period drama Downwind Abbey, pretty damn rough. All that plus a short vignette into the life of a crash test dummy.    Wikihows: How to have a draconic personality, how to spoon someone 

  • DDIY 47 - Grano-YOLO

    26/09/2014 Duración: 48min

    Topics: Drunk ghost hunters, Smuggling ice cream into space, Mars., Pigcasso and Hog Hogan, Whipperpipe, Pack it in my mouth bong, hippiest death, 98.6 MKPK, Gods raining on my forehead, Juggalo homelessthetician, Horse life cycle   Wikihows: How to be YOLO, How to show your pigs, How to rub your forehead

  • DDIY 46 - Homemade Batman

    18/09/2014 Duración: 47min

    Is Batman a superhero or a genius ninja detective? Does Bane sound like Julia Child? How do I get my dog to dance with ecstasy? How do I out-psycho a sociopath? What do you call an electric flyswatter? Is a group of lollipop owners called a guild? We answer all of these this week.   Wikihows: How to Fight Like Batman, How to Dance With a Dog, From @Badassoftheweek "How to Deal with a Sociopath"  

  • DDIY 45 - The Plinko Method (Anniversary Show)

    12/09/2014 Duración: 45min

    We've been doing this one whole year. To celebrate, we talk about anniverary gifts, having a great Saturday getting high in the Redwoods, and how we can smooch a lady at the movies even if we didn't come with them. Along the way we destroy a lot of childhood memories. It's been a great year, you guys!

  • DDIY 44 - A Bus Full of Second Cousins

    04/09/2014 Duración: 47min

    We start off with a chillwave rainy day episode, but this one quickly devolves into madness. We are going to blame either Clay's off-brand energy drinks or the improv lessons he took this past week with a hobo named Shirttail Bob. We still soldier on and teach you how to survive a hostage situation through dance, pierce the friend zone and face off against Charlie Hardbody and his world class tickets to the moon, and then create a Pacific Rim-style robot when we cover how to conceive in a long distance relationship. We say sex words a lot in this one. You've been warned. Tip: listen past the end of the episode for a little bit extra this week. 

  • DDIY 43 (w/ @shutupmikeginn ) - Chesty Mountains

    28/08/2014 Duración: 49min

    This week we double the amount of Mike's who are on Twitter and DDIY with our special guest, Mike @shutupmikeginn ! We talk about power rangers, tantric stripping, The Bobby Fisher of strippers, what constitutes a 'sentimental handjob', Pitbull, grandmas on ecstasy, cars full of bees, scaring your friends by eating undercooked chicken and singing ghosts in the attic!    Wikihows: How to Increase Your Stripper Income, How to Get a Girl to Grind with you at a Club, How to Act Scary  Hot from Mike's Pocket: Cholo Fruit Rollups 

  • DDIY 42 - Tunnel Birds

    22/08/2014 Duración: 56min

    Topics: An open letter to President Obama RE: Tunnel Birds, Tinder Abduction, Hillbillies and Chainsaws, Teen Bagger, Sweatpantaloons, Herman Being Part III, Spurt in the Fearlessness, Bill is a Ghost Wikihows: How to Get Teens to Stop Using Your Farm for Drinking or Racing, How to Look Great in Sweatpants, How to Gossip on a Positive Note   Taste Test: Blueberry Almonds

  • DDIY 41 - Taken...on a date

    14/08/2014 Duración: 50min

    This week we talk about dates, movies, scorpions, scotch, beating up the Beatles and love words like 'synergy'.   Topics: Matrix pills, Taken....on a date, Scorpurrito, Andhaven, Boxing Mathematician, Grandpa and desks, The Dave Clark Five, Styx and Stones, Love Words, Ham Hawk.   Wikihows: How to use cheesy pick up lines, how to avoid band fights, how to cast a 'more than friends' spell.   Taste Test: Laphroaig 10yr

  • DDIY 40 - Mountain Stew

    07/08/2014 Duración: 34min

    The Big 4-oh Topics: Books for Dates, Rewrite the Bible, Ctrl+F, Jim Jammery in your Flim Flammery, Sun Chicken, Doctor Peppered Beef, Kriss Angel: DUI, Dominos Guy Misses Me, DBIY   Wikihows: How to Find Someone to Date at the Bookstore, How to Create Useful Formuals and Mixtures, and How to Beat a Field Sobriety Test

  • DDIY 39 - Grandpa Punch-Fueled Time Machine

    01/08/2014 Duración: 47min

    This week we solve a lot of the world's problems. We create limitless energy out of 16 cats with life jackets on in a pool of milk and tuna water. We create positive female role models with our lady lawyer rapping group, Ladys Bone Thugs. We figure out time travel, what to do with the elderly and how to solve our overpopulation problem. Then we discuss the intricacies of time travel and statutory rape.  Wikihows: How to Teach Your Cat to Swim, How to Describe a Kiss, How to Become a Female Rapper (from @LadyLardMan and @aaarub) How to Go Back in Time

  • DDIY 38 - #1 Dad In Space

    17/07/2014 Duración: 39min

    It's the dog days of summer, and I fear the heat has gotten to our minds a little bit. Topics: Magic racism, stay at home dads in space, tantric baby sleepers, Starchild and the Parliament Funkadelic, sex education, "bag up your Gizmo", Earl Thomas III and how to survive in a pool full of KY Jelly. Wikihows: How to Capture a Single Millionaire through Internet Dating, How to Cope with Sexual Education, How to Make an Enviable Secret Handshake, and a bonus question that is out of this world crazy.

  • DDIY 37 - Isaac Assimov's I, Robutt

    10/07/2014 Duración: 41min

    What if it was the future? What if there were flying cars, Terminators that looked like cougars, aliens hiding among us named Herman Being, and a robot in every house programmed to touch butts? Well this week we talk about all of that, except the flying cars. We'll show you how to let people know you want to hang out with them later, establish you are not crazy and are actually Herman Melville, and how to act drunk. You know, things you need to know how to do because you are TOTALLY a human and not an alien and/or robot programmed to touch butts. 

  • DDIY 36 - InDDIYpendence Day

    02/07/2014 Duración: 35min

    Happy fourth of July! This week we are doing a show on the good ole' US of A! We talk about the most offensive Taz tattoo, ask NASA to hold our beer and talk about how Jesus made the Grand Canyon. Also we finally move the Rocky movies into the Marvel universe with super heroine Annette Gunn, the flagpole dancer that shoots t-shirt cannon nets who is also Tommy Gunn's daughter. Also we share more awful confessions. 

  • DDIY 35 - Prenuptial Eagle

    27/06/2014 Duración: 34min

    Wikihows: How to smoke a cigarette in Paris. How to ask your parents about puberty. How to decide who gets the pet in a divorce. Discussed: Curly wig condoms, smoking baguettes, french in a southern accent, bilingual kissing sister-brothers, Elvira and condoms, puberty supplies, Prenuptial Eagle, divorce clause claws, Bar King the drunk dog, cholo eagle

  • DDIY 34 (w/ Michael Alm) - Consult the Runes, Ghostfucker

    19/06/2014 Duración: 47min

     This week we are joined by the amazingly talented artist Michael Alm ( , so of course we squander his knowledge and talk to him exclusively about ghosts and the paranormal. Instead of a Wikihow, Michael brings in runes which we use to solve some wikihows. The runes apparently want Mike gay and pregnant, and for us to bang the ghosts out of homes for fun and profit. This might be my favorite episode. 

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