Dire Weasels: A Real(ish) Play 5e Dungeons And Dragons Podcast

THAT'S RIGHT WE'RE BACK AND IVANA IS IN CHARGE!   It's been nice knowing you all, we've had a good run.   Anyways, our new adventurer's find themselves in some blandness. They're rescued by a cute little weasel and a QVC lady. It's definitely a world building episode and John's character hasn't died yet.   Thanks for tuning in, we hope your hearing hasn't suffered terribly. Ivana, @arcanevice, is the drunk driver at the wheel. Mollie, @MollieMM9, is our single saving grace that keeps our heads above water. John, @absurdistKolbold, is sighing heavily with disappointment and Forrest, @walk6070, is eating something weird again. Don't forget to rate us on iTunes if you like us and check out our patreon to make us do weird things.

Hello and welcome back!   Oh wait, that's us. We're the ones back. This is just an update on the current state of the podcast and the change up on our Patreon tiers. Mostly it's us goofing off. We look forward to releasing some good good new content for y'all, thanks for sticking it out with us.

Hey all, I know we haven't been posting much lately, and there are some behind the scenes things happening, so I wanted to take a moment to let you all know what is happening in weaseland. If it sounds shitty, it's because it was one take with no script, so I just said things as they occurred to me. Thanks for sticking with us.

New town, new things to worry about! Why do we never worry about things in the woods? I don't know, I know I'm the DM and could do that, and blame it on the rolls most of the time, I don't like doing forest stuff apparently? And I don't mean "Forrest", he's cool.  Anyway, the crew hangs around Creslia, a town with nothing wrong with it, I think? Again, DM here, I don't know anything. Promise. I would say some things come to a crescendo? Or like that part of a roller coaster that goes up. Fun. Everyone get scared. ... *boo* Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk(while she's on hiatus). John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys. Also, you may have noticed we have some new art for our thumbnail? Well that's thanks to our patrons, and the amazing Alex Graudins! She can be found @t

Finally back on track to Pallet Town! After that last town, hopefully this next one has some time for rest and relaxation! I mean, there was a death, several in fact, some things revealed, and some confrontations happened. Hopefully there is no more of that. Hopefully... With "hammer" in hand, a once mentor dead, and two... THREE strange companions, the crew goes off to their next destination.  Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk(while she's on hiatus). John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys. Also, you may have noticed we have some new art for our thumbnail? Well that's thanks to our patrons, and the amazing Alex Graudins! She can be found @toonyballoony You can find us on twitter @DireWeasels, you can email us questions and the like at direweasels@gmail.comMaybe help us

The time has come, the crew has made their way through the super, past the happy, made whoope with the fun, and decided against the being murdered. Saved people, i don't know what happened. Does anyone actually read these? Seriously! There's some awesome info here! Like look at all that below! Anyway, it's time for the final battle. After this, Forrest comes back and we continue on with our main campaign, but until then... just like Halo 3, it's time to FINISH THE FIGHT! Well, it hasn't even started so... The Module is by Luciella Elisabeth Scarlett and can be found on dmsguild.com, go support them there!  Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk(while she's on hiatus). John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys. Our guest this time is Jonny, and you can find him on twitter @Solv

The travel continues, with one nasty party member down, and adding another party member aboard! However, now we enter the deepest parts of the dungeon. With their mission fulfilled, can the party find their way out? What awaits them further down in this murder dungeon? How many more ridiculous antics can their be? And... a Puzzle? (Oh god, I hope the puzzle is entertaining at least.)The Module is by Luciella Elisabeth Scarlett and can be found on dmsguild.com, go support them there!  Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk(while she's on hiatus). John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys. Our guest this time is Jonny, and you can find him on twitter @SolventBubbles. He's a good boy and go check him out! Also, you may have noticed we have some new art for our thumbnail? Well tha

This week, we find some friends down in the dungeon, talk about how much stuff smells, maybe summon a demon...? This is a wild romp through the second level of the mad mad dungeon! I mean, SUPER HAPPY FUN MURDER TIME! Also, looks like there is a change in the cast... silly DMCA'sThe Module is by Luciella Elisabeth Scarlett and can be found on dmsguild.com, go support them there!  Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk(while she's on hiatus). John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys. Our guest this time is Jonny, and you can find him on twitter @SolventBubbles. He's a good boy and go check him out! Also, you may have noticed we have some new art for our thumbnail? Well that's thanks to our patrons, and the amazing Alex Graudins! She can be found @toonyballoony You can find us

I tried to find out if there was a terrifying yellow color, but it just brought me to a page full of phobias, which I did not care for. It looked like there was a needle through some ladies lip, and I didn't want that. You know what I do want? And you want to? This episode. It's a bit on the shorter side, but I think it's still full of laughs. If you listen to some of Cody's other shows, you may catch a small goof in here. Tweet at us if you see it! Anyway...The Module is by Luciella Elisabeth Scarlett and can be found on dmsguild.com, go support them there!  Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk(while she's on hiatus). John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys. Our guest this time is Jonny, and you can find him on twitter @SolventBubbles. He's a good boy and go check him out

Time for an ARBITRARY! This time, we are playing a super indie game called DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS FIFTH EDITION! I heard the team worked very hard on it. It went through Beta Tests for the longest time. It's very good, I hope it becomes popular, and I hope you heard it here for the first time! ANYWAY, we are playing a module called... "Yeryls Super Happy Fun Murder Dungeon"! It sounds like a great time and we can't wait to have Super, and have that Happy, and definitely some FUN, and last but not least... Mur... der... wait...The Module is by Luciella Elisabeth Scarlett and can be found on dmsguild.com, go support them there!  Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk(while she's on hiatus). John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys. Our guest this time is Jonny, and you can find h

Greetings Mustelidae! No episode this week... However we do have some news! A little bit at least...  Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk(while she's on hiatus). John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys. Also, you may have noticed we have some new art for our thumbnail? Well that's thanks to our patrons, and the amazing Alex Graudins! She can be found @toonyballoony You can find us on twitter @DireWeasels, you can email us questions and the like at direweasels@gmail.comMaybe help us pay for our insanity and subsequent incarceration by donating to us at patreon.com/direweasels Dire Weasels are a part of the S House Studio network, a group of podcasts growing together to have fun and better themselves, hopefully.

Back at it again in Davesdale! Well, the caves outside Davesdale but that's close enough. Crew decided to see what these accusations the priests of B.O.B were spouting. Anyone remember what B.O.B stands for? It's kind of dumb, kind of intriguing, and if you do "at" me on Twitter, maybe I send you something? OOOOO, price time! Let's see if anyone actually reads this stuff! Anyway, things get intense this episode, and word of warning, maybe a bit much for those with children... No seriously. Anyway, GO VOTE. (ALSO holy crap this is releasing on HALLOWEEN! We should have PLANNED BETTER!!! SPOOK'EMS!!!) Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk(while she's on hiatus). John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys. Also, you may have noticed we have some new art for our thumbnail? Well th

Here we go again! Still in Davesdale... just realized I spell this differently a lot. Davedale? Anyway, still there, trying to figure out whats going on with all the Daves. Went to go investigate the church, but some wacky going ons on the side. Eveynne got some things with the Man in Black, and apparently a broken deal with a fey creature? Something about a crown everyone wants to steal, and Stu has forsaken the Lord Reginald Fuzzykins. Well, let's see how this all turns out. Also, people, women have the right to their own agency. Do I have to tell you that?Go Vote. Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk(while she's on hiatus). John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys. Also, you may have noticed we have some new art for our thumbnail? Well that's thanks to our patrons, and t

Remix. It feels like when I speak, cracks appear, and the turmolt just gets sucked into it. dripping, like wet paint that has yet to dry, seeping in and clearing a path, slick and clean, like a blank canvas. Flat, without the wrinkles. Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk(while she's on hiatus). John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys. Also, you may have noticed we have some new art for our thumbnail? Well that's thanks to our patrons, and the amazing Alex Graudins! She can be found @toonyballoony And just to cover our butts, the music used for the Dire Weasel Reviews bevearages is "Sweet Vermouth" from incomptech.com, from the illustrious Kevin MacLeod. It's under a Creative Commons liscence, more info can be found at incomptech.com. Go Check It Out! You can find us on tw

Strange town, all around us are similar faces, worn out places, worn out places... Wait, wrong song. Anyway, seems like the gang is getting a hold of what's all going on, strange black cloaked man, some gnomes out for a good time, and lots and lots of Dave Grohl's. Did I spell that right? Seems like the stablemaster is the outlier in all this. And it seems like there's a reason why... Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk(while she's on hiatus). John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys. Also, you may have noticed we have some new art for our thumbnail? Well that's thanks to our patrons, and the amazing Alex Graudins! She can be found @toonyballoony And just to cover our butts, the music used for the Dire Weasel Reviews bevearages is "Sweet Vermouth" from incomptech.com, from

Back on that good stuff. That good good couch. That's how you spell ir right? Anyway, back onto the main story! Canonical story? Not sure at this point. The gang finally gets to Davesdale, the mysterious village that was once Jyna Junction. They were forewarned about this changed and the subsequent mysteries by a small child. Will the gang just go past? What's with this mysterious village? How many times can the writer of this description type mysterious before spelling it wrong? Find out! Now. No, like right now, download and listen please. Please? Okay coo... Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk(while she's on hiatus). John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys. Also, you may have noticed we have some new art for our thumbnail? Well that's thanks to our patrons, and the ama

Finally the Finale! We finish up our Dire Weview of Villainous Village, and the killer is revealed! After that we get into some of the emails we haven't got to in a long long time!  Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk. John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys. We would also like to thank Brad for joining us on this episode! He was able to come last minute and saved our buttocks! You can find him @_wrenfro and some of his very funny shirts and work here! Or if that doesn't work go to threadless.com and search for Fisticuffsmanship! Cody does the best he can with the shit audio he gets (sometimes Marc, or @0dius will help out when he can) Also, you may have noticed we have some new art for our thumbnail? Well that's thanks to our patrons, and the amazing Alex Graudins! She c

This week, since Cody was a dick and didn't have enough writing, Forrest came to our rescue and brought forth Villainous Village! Now we do a "Weview" of this game... This is a game about discovering whom the killer is in this town of fairy tales. Who killed Humpty Dumpty? Why iis there so much innuendo? Find out where we begin! Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk. John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys. We would also like to thank Brad for joining us on this episode! He was able to come last minute and saved our buttocks! You can find him @_wrenfro and some of his very funny shirts and work here! Or if that doesn't work go to threadless.com and search for Fisticuffsmanship! Cody does the best he can with the shit audio he gets (sometimes Marc, or @0dius will help out wh

Big Muthafuckin' Crab Truckers is a one page TTRPG about big crabs being truckers. You can find the best copy that we could find here. We decided to do a slight spin on it being "space" crab truckers. This is an arbitrary adventure and probably the most you will hear John and Cody laugh in a long, long, LONG time. Also, tacked onto this, this is our second time going through this, or rather our "Part TWO" or "Part DUuu" of this when we actually read the rules but give little to no shits about it?  Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk. John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys. The amazing guests on this arbitrary adventure are Nicole, @nmhueser from SHU podcast on the Generation Justice feed, and Kelly, @MightBeKelly from Ethernautica podcast, and Matt, @punk1290, from the D

Big Muthafuckin' Crab Truckers is a one page TTRPG about big crabs being truckers. You can find the best copy that we could find here. We decided to do a slight spin on it being "space" crab truckers. This is an arbitrary adventure and probably the most you will hear John and Cody laugh in a long, long, LONG time.  Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk. John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys. The amazing guests on this arbitrary adventure are Nicole, @nmhueser from SHU podcast on the Generation Justice feed, and Kelly, @MightBeKelly from Ethernautica podcast, and Matt, @punk1290, from the Drunks and Dragons Random Encounter podcast! Cody does the best he can with the shit audio he gets (sometimes Marc, or @0dius will help out when he can) Also, you may have noticed we have