Dire Weasels: A Real(ish) Play 5e Dungeons And Dragons Podcast

Greetings Mustelidae. Well, I mean, that's the intro basically. This is a strange interlude... I mean, kind of? We were all pretty tired and needed something before/after Geeklycon. Speaking of, if you went, hope you had a great time! Anyway, where will things go now? Has the team reflected on the past? Do you know the answers? I sure the fuck don't. Also, we basically missed all of July. We're sorry... so very sorry. Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk(while she's on hiatus). John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys. Also, you may have noticed we have some new art for our thumbnail? Well that's thanks to our patrons, and the amazing Alex Graudins! She can be found @toonyballoony You can find us on twitter @DireWeasels, you can email us questions and the like at direweasel

Oh DEER! Things have escalated greatly! The situation may become too UNBEARABLE. What? I'm not GOATING you on! Not trying to SQUIRREL anything into this description at all! How dare you accuse me of this HOPping... nevermind. They may have found a suspicious bear. It was collecting hats. Hats may have been an influence from other things. My stomach hurts and I hope you enjoy this episode. Things happen. Mostly a fight, but also some important stuff. I like Roll20 fights now, they go by SO much faster. No more long episodes in boats. Hopefully. it would be UNBOATABle.. fuck it.   Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk(while she's on hiatus). John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys. We also had the amazing and wonderful Steph Kingston, who played... guess we will find out. You

Things get started. Or at least some what started? Not sure exactly. It's surprising though who discovers what, and maybe it's just because the DM is worried about time, or is drinking too much. I don't know what anymore. Maybe there's too much ChooChoo going on. Bah. BLAH. Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk(while she's on hiatus). John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys. We also had the amazing and wonderful Steph Kingston, who played... guess we will find out. You CAN find her on the twitterverse, @StephOKingston! Also, you may have noticed we have some new art for our thumbnail? Well that's thanks to our patrons, and the amazing Alex Graudins! She can be found @toonyballoony You can find us on twitter @DireWeasels, you can email us questions and the like at direweasel

Well, getting to this little village, the crew finds out there are a bunch of animals living here, creating some sort of society? What does all this mean? Well, a monkey is dead, and it looks like Scoob and the gang are the only ones up to solve this mystery! Maybe? What will this cost them though? How strong ARE these railroad tracks? Guess we'll have to find out! ALSO WHO IS STEPH PLAYING?! Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk(while she's on hiatus). John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys. We also had the amazing and wonderful Steph Kingston, who played... guess we will find out. You CAN find her on the twitterverse, @StephOKingston! Also, you may have noticed we have some new art for our thumbnail? Well that's thanks to our patrons, and the amazing Alex Graudins! She c

Finally making to the end of the caves of Manzanilla and the Underdark, our adventurers start off on their adventure through Cashew Brush. A mysterious luscent fog rolls in, pearlescent in colors and mystery. MYSTERY! Fine, maybe some of these things are mysterious and not so much... Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk(while she's on hiatus). John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys. We also had the amazing and wonderful Steph Kingston, who played... guess we will find out. You CAN find her on the twitterverse, @StephOKingston! Also, you may have noticed we have some new art for our thumbnail? Well that's thanks to our patrons, and the amazing Alex Graudins! She can be found @toonyballoony You can find us on twitter @DireWeasels, you can email us questions and the like at 

The Witch is Dead. A one page TTRPG where you play as familiars to a recently dead witch, and you have to get revenge to bring her back from the dead. It's pretty fun, and we have Mollie DMing it for us! We are also joined by Jonny, a wonderful human being! Last time, we went into town searching for the witch hunter. We think we've caught on some clues. The Baron is bad, the Witch is dead... looks like things have to get ugly and we have to kill this kids dad! Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk. John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys. Our guest good doggo tonight was @solventbubbles or in the real life place, Jonny! You can also find him soon on @MeetPodcast, a podcast about couples and how they met! Cody does the best he can with the shit audio he gets (sometimes Marc,

The Witch is Dead. A one page TTRPG where you play as familiars to a recently dead witch, and you have to get revenge to bring her back from the dead. It's pretty fun, and we have Mollie DMing it for us! We are also joined by Jonny, a wonderful human being! Last time, we figured out a direction to go, and headed into town... Yeah, that's all we did. Listen, we're the Dire Weasels, we do a bunch of dumb discussions okay? Deal. Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk. John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys. Our guest good doggo tonight was @solventbubbles or in the real life place, Jonny! You can also find him soon on @MeetPodcast, a podcast about couples and how they met! Cody does the best he can with the shit audio he gets (sometimes Marc, or @0dius will help out when he ca

The Witch is Dead. A one page TTRPG where you play as familiars to a recently dead witch, and you have to get revenge to bring her back from the dead. It's pretty fun, and we have Mollie DMing it for us! We are also joined by Jonny, a wonderful human being! Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk. John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys. Our guest good doggo tonight was @solventbubbles or in the real life place, Jonny! You can also find him soon on @MeetPodcast, a podcast about couples and how they met! Cody does the best he can with the shit audio he gets (sometimes Marc, or @0dius will help out when he can) You can find us on twitter @DireWeasels, you can email us questions and the like at direweasels@gmail.comDire Weasels are a part of the S House Studio network, a group o

Looks like our adventures have met some strange creature... Hopefully touching it doesn't have some ill effects associated with it? Hopefully our... Heroes(?) get out safe and sound and the princess and their guide can get on their way. But what waits for them next? And what's Eveynne doing??? Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk(while she's on hiatus). John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys. We also had guests on this episode of the Dire Weasels! First off, we had Lorelei(@lothlorien_elf) from the Good Looks, Bad Books podcast(@GLBBpodcast), and she plays Fingling Don'Loin! We also had Fox(@Hack_Fox) from the Dragons of Cthulhu podcast(@DoC_podcast)! He plays the guide through the underdark, Fox! Yup! And, our first Fuzzykin player! Cody does the best he can with the shi

Oh geeze. Them Weasels folks have gotten themselves in a bit of trouble it seems. Falling down a pit in the Underdark is never a good idea. Wonderin' how all them will get out of this pickle. Hopefully nothing too crazy happens, or at least if it does the DM has a plan for it. Can't be too bad with our guests... right? Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk(while she's on hiatus). John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys. We also had guests on this episode of the Dire Weasels! First off, we had Lorelei(@lothlorien_elf) from the Good Looks, Bad Books podcast(@GLBBpodcast), and she plays Fingling Don'Loin! We also had Fox(@Hack_Fox) from the Dragons of Cthulhu podcast(@DoC_podcast)! He plays the guide through the underdark, Fox! Yup! And, our first Fuzzykin player! Cody does th

We start our journey through the void! Err, maybe not that extravegant, it's just the underdark. It's always been the underdark, right? Wonder if there's anything different. Well, the crew is planning on leaving out of Manzanilla, leaving it with democracy. They bring along the princess, or ex princess, and maybe a guide... Wonder what they will meet. Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk(while she's on hiatus). John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys. We also had guests on this episode of the Dire Weasels! First off, we had Lorelei(@lothlorien_elf) from the Good Looks, Bad Books podcast(@GLBBpodcast), and she plays Fingling Don'Loin! We also had Fox(@Hack_Fox) from the Dragons of Cthulhu podcast(@DoC_podcast)! He plays the guide through the underdark, Fox! Yup! And, our fi

The gang starts a fight, sort of. Okay they don't start it, but they finish it. F%$k, #spoilers. Ugh, this description is terrible. Okay, they fight the Ballot people, because they are bad... I think. Who knows? In this crazy world who knows anything. I'll tell you what, I know who knows everything... Roll20. Wait, no, this isn't an ad, it's just something to combat the ADD of the crew. I think it works? We don't fight, don't look at the title name. NO DONT DO.... you did it didn't you? Fine. Ugh! They  get into a heated arguement with magic and violence involved and some things happen and stuff happens at the end. I don't know anymore... Let us know if Roll20 helped, or made this just unlistenable garbage. Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk(while she's on hiatus). John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the

The scene opens. A single spotlight on stage revealing a man with both of his hands covering his face, head sagged down, and his elbows on his knees. He weeps softly at first, then the sobs become more intense. The woeful mourning sobs echo throughout the theater. Then the sobs turn to laughter, hysterical laughter that bounces through the halls and out the abandoned facilities doors. He stands, screaming "What have I done!" into the stale air. He then sits. I am this man. And this, is some weird ass tangent that a DM, namely THIS DM, SHOULD NOT HAVE WENT DOWN, BUT APPARENTLY ITS A THING? Anyway, people ask questions, apparently the right ones and they stumble into this weird backstory I made up in my head to make everything work, but then they don't dig deeper, and so it just sort of ends, and it's good and fine because we should just jump back on the rails, and no one will actually read this anyway, and I hit on Forrest some this episode and also John makes Connor do nothing, but it's not his fault because

I can't tell a lie. Well I can, but I have to tell you this is a pretty laid back episode. Mostly shopping, lot's of joke. Lot's of references. Some other things as well, some weird plot choo choo'ing. Oh wait... there was that one thing. Hunters of the Craven Grave right? There's other things too, I think I'm missing, but someone doesn't... Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk(while she's on hiatus). John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys. Cody does the best he can with the shit audio he gets (sometimes Marc, or @0dius will help out when he can)Also, you may have noticed we have some new art for our thumbnail? Well that's thanks to our patrons, and the amazing Alex Graudins! She can be found @toonyballoony You can find us on twitter @DireWeasels, you can email us questio

Start of the Second Leg, I don't think that we have seasons technically, but all in all, this would be considered "season 2" of Cody's (my) DMing? After what happened last time, you'd think there'd be something dramatic, but unfortuanately no? Crystal Light seems to be a god now, wonder how that will go. Eveynne realizes her lack of god may be detrimental to her. Gods have way too much power, (probably the DM's fault?). Are things mysterious enough yet, or just confusing? I'm not sure, just hope people are enjoying the story! Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk(while she's on hiatus). John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys. Cody does the best he can with the shit audio he gets (sometimes Marc, or @0dius will help out when he can)Also, you may have noticed we have some ne

Let's see, so we're done with the boat, done with "hell", now we're in this new place, and there's a church, and that drow lady, Walkeen Feenix is back (Don't check my spelling). Why are people falling out of cloaks? What does this little girl god want? Where's the party? What the heck is going on? And why is Crystal Light's face peeling off??? This episode is a bit different, and feels a bit rushed, but hopefully you enjoy it!Also... look for something new coming very soon!!!! Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk. John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys. Cody does the best he can with the shit audio he gets (sometimes Marc, or @0dius will help out when he can) You can find us on twitter @DireWeasels, you can email us questions and the like at direweasels@gmail.comMaybe he

Wait, we're done with the boat? But it was just getting to the best part! Well, looks like everyone died, kind of, sort of. They're apparently in "hell", but like what's that but some strange notion from a religon that has obviously over stepped it's bounds in modern society and now pervades a majority of our lives and... Okay, maybe too WOKE.What's going on? Why is the group dead? What kind of TPK was that CODY? WTF?! Guess we'll just have to be assholes and see... oh and the group leveled... I guessCody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk. John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys. Cody does the best he can with the shit audio he gets (sometimes Marc, or @0dius will help out when he can) You can find us on twitter @DireWeasels, you can email us questions and the like at direwe

Can you believe it? We are still on the boat. Well, not for long... wait spoilers. This episode, someone is still evil, someone still has a dumb name they can't say, someone tries to use math for the first time in a D&D game, and the first time a DM truly railroads. Maybe. Well since it's on a boat, maybe it's "wakes" the players? OH SHIT, we gonna be so WOKE.  Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk. John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys. Cody does the best he can with the shit audio he gets (sometimes Marc, or @0dius will help out when he can) You can find us on twitter @DireWeasels, you can email us questions and the like at direweasels@gmail.comMaybe help us pay for our insanity and subsequent incarceration by donating to us at patreon.com/direweasels Dire Weasels a

Mollie is back in the GM saddle again! This time with more Maze Rats! Still havn't listened to the episode, but I know there's a lot of poop stuff? And lots of tangents, but that's just... us. Probably noticed I barely listened to the episode due to the title. I know they made up better titles for it during the episode but meh? We'll get back into it soon again Mustildae!  Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk. John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys. Cody does the best he can with the shit audio he gets (sometimes Marc, or @0dius will help out when he can) You can find us on twitter @DireWeasels, you can email us questions and the like at direweasels@gmail.comDire Weasels are a part of the S House Studio network, a group of podcasts growing together to have fun and better

After out little creation episode, we continue on with the first session of Maze Rats run by Mollie! And by we, I mean them, because Cody's not there and I speak/type in the third person. I'm... not sure what Maze Rats is, but since Mollie is running it, it's going to be a good time, and I'm pretty sure Ivana's drinking so that'll be interesting. John's there to moan a bemoan, and Forrest is there to actually care about things and drop random facts for you! What more could you want? No seriously, do want some drugs kid? Make the listening pleasure be a bit better? Fine, whatever, be a nark....Cody, or @codedude3, is our mighty glorious leader guiding us into battle. Ivana, or @arcaneVice gets drunk. John, or @AbsurdistKobold, has fabulous hair. Mollie, or @MollieMM9, silently regrets every decision that has lead her to this podcast. Forrest, or @Walk6070, jerks it to the sound of typing and howler monkeys.Marc, or @0dius does the best he can with the ridiculous shit we give him.You can find us on twitter @Dir