What The Hell Were You Thinking

Show Noted Episode 335: Them Creepy Ass Kids (Spooktacular 2021) This week Host Dave Bledsoe just wants your creepy ass kid to STOP STARING AT HIM! (It isn’t the kid’s fault, they’ve just never seen a drunk man take a dump in the sandbox before!) On the show this week we keep Spooktacular 2021 rolling with talkies of kids who see ghosts and remember their past lives! (As if this one life isn’t bad enough!) Along the way we learn all we never wanted to know about the Holy Ghost (We call him God’s Goon!) and from there we dive right into spooky tales of kids who see dead people! (Spoiler Alert: Bruce Willis was dead all along!) Then we take a peek into the fascinating world of kids who remember their past lives! (Honestly, this is a legit thing with real scientists studying it!) Of all the stupid paranormal nonsense we’ve covered on this show, we finally find one we can’t debunk outright by just saying the people involved are either liars or morons. (Though, we cannot definitely say they are NOT either!) Our

Show Notes Episode 334: Undead On A Downtown Train Spooktacular 2021  This week Host Dave Bledsoe passes out on the subway platform at 2 AM only to wake up at home in his bed and not know how he got there. (This happens far more than he would like to admit) On the show this week Spooktacular 2021 rolls on down the steel rails with haunted subways and trains! (We mean actual ghosts, not the scary stuff that just happens on the train!) We start with the Ghost Trains of Astor Place in New York City and go around the country and around the world to visit haunted underground stops from Boston to Beijing! Then we head out into the country to tell you lurid tales of creepy stations, ghost trains and dead conductors waving their lanterns into the darkness to lure you closer! (Stay off the railroad tracks people!) Our Sponsor this week is The Creepy Guy at the End of the Car, is he jerking off or just jerking? We’ll never tell. We open with Hey Arnold and close with Lee Enstone talking to all the Brooklyn Girls.

The first our two bonus episodes finds us in the high mountains of the Soviet Union exploring the mysterious Dyatlov Pass Incident. Which they SAY they solved. but that is just the sort of thing THEY would say isn't it? We let Producer Gavin take the mic for this episode because Dave was too drunk to stay upright in the chair behind the mic! Join us at www.patreon.com/whatthehellpodcast for this year's exclusive content for just ONE MEASLY DOLLAR! #StaySpooky Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Show Notes Episode 333: It Looks Like A Big Deady Tylenol Spooktacular 2021 This week Host Dave Bledsoe reaches for something to edge off this hangover only to find something little, yellow, different...the same glass of whiskey he took to bed with him the night before. (Again) This week we kick off Spooktacular 2021 with a little random mass murder in Chicago, with the Tylenol Murders of 1982!  Along the way we discover how Dave’s Mom foolishly trusted him not to do something incredibly stupid when he was a kid. (Same goes for today) Then we dive right into the mysterious deaths of seven people in the Chicagoland area September 1982. We go through the gruesome deaths of each in turn before turning to the frantic search for what killed them. (Shockingly, it wasn’t corporate malfeasance!) Then we follow the investigation into what happened and into who was doing it!   Our Sponsor this week is the Poison Pill Investment Strategy, who want to say “COME ON GUYS!” We open the show with news coverage of the pani

All the ghoulish good times coming up for Spooktacular 2021 Creepy Ass Music: Darren Curtis Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Episode 332: Havana Ray Beaming This week Host Dave Bledsoe angrily complains that someone is using a “sonic weapon” to cause his aching head and churning stomach instead of blaming the hangover. (Again) On the show this week we head on down to Havana Town to investigate what is making American spies and diplomats so sick? (Apparently, not guilt over American Imperialism) Along the way we learn that Dave was a connoisseur of imaginary weapons as a child. (Imaginary like the friends he had to play with. Sad.) Then we dive right into the so-called Havana Syndrome that is causing Americans around the world to have a headache and Congress to do something ineffective and unnecessary about it! (You know, the usual stuff!) From there we talk about all the ways that you can’t really use a sonic wave as a super secret weapon and all the ways that a microwave is really only good for heating up a burrito on the outside and leaving it ice cold on the inside. (It is called the Hot Pocket Effect.) Finally we use science

Episode 331: Right Now Someone Is Planning Another Crystal Pepsi Comeback This week Host Dave Bledsoe is enjoying a crisp refreshing Zima, lacing up his Doc’s, and getting ready to watch this new X-Files show! No, wait, he is having delusions after drinking a bottle of Crystal Pepsi from 1993. (Again) On the show this week we head back to the halcyon days of yesterday when everything was clear, soap was pure, and a man could get a Crystal Pepsi at his local 7-11!  Along the way we learn why Dave’s family was so loyal to the Coca Cola company during his childhood. (Turns out everything is a Coke when you live far enough away from civilization!) From there we jump right into the Clear Craze of the late 80’s and early 90’s when every product had to be transparent, you know for health reasons. (Meaning some marketing jack off just made that shit up!) Then we pick up with Pepsi looking to strike a blow in the Cola Wars by launching a brand new product, and the perfidy of the Coca Cola company in their counter at

Episode 330: The Obligatory 9/11 Edition This week Host Dave Bledsoe puts aside the usual snark and fart jokes (well most of them anyway) to do the first and only show we'll ever do about September 11th.  (Turns out, it's hard to make jokes about this topic!) We do mock some of the people who put  up shit like this flag, though, so you got that going for you!   Seriously, this is not a “fun” show.  It is about what and how we remember what happened 20 years ago and if you want to skip this week, we understand.  (Unlike a few weeks ago when we were talking up putting gerbils in butts, skipping that was inexcusable!) It isn’t so much about what happened, but how we remember it now.  When asked when he was crying, Dave shouted that he wasn’t crying, WE were crying and then ran out of the studio sobbing.  So, we would classify this episode as “kinda sad”.  So trigger warning for maudlin drunks. Our closing music this week is Mike Easterday talking about memories. Show Theme: https://www.jamendo.com/track/4216

Show Notes Episode 329: I Got Stoned and I Missed It Pt 3 of Just Say No America This week Host Dave Bledsoe insists he is not legally obligated to pay for these drinks as he is “on vacation” only to be escorted out of the Applebees by the management. (Again) Look, we are supposed to be on a beach somewhere instead we are logging in to write show notes on a clip show. So,OK, that’s it, we are outta here. Just listen to the damn show. Show Theme: https://www.jamendo.com/track/421668/prelude-to-common-sense The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/ www.whatthehellpodcast.com Give us your money on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast The Show Line: 347 687 9601 Closing Music:https://youtu.be/fp5tUbAP0lI We are a proud member of the Seltzer Kings Podcast Network! http://seltzerkings.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Episode 328: No Bourbon, No Scotch and No Beer Pt 2 of Just Say No America This week Host Dave Bledsoe demands a national prohibition on his bar tabs, only to be voted down by the bartender with extreme prejudice. (Again) On the show this week, we talk about how Prohibition was more about keeping immigrants and minorities in their place rather than saving them from demon alcohol. (Are you shocked? You shouldn’t be) Along the way we learn about Dave’s grandpa running moonshine in the mountains of Tennessee and why that makes Dave think he should run a distillery. (It doesn’t and he shouldn’t) Then we dive right into the history of how Prohibition became the law of the land and how the same tactics are being used today. After that we look at how all this not drinking impacted our most precious national resource: rich people. (Short answer not at all, longer answer, it made them more money!) Finally we examine the connection between the Noble Cause of Prohibition and keeping immigrants, minorities and the poor

Episode 327: Operation Carrie Nation Pt 1 of Just Say No America This week Host Dave Bledsoe is INFURIATED to learn he cannot submit his bar tabs to his health insurance, even though his “doctor” (it’s just a guy at the bar) says they are “medicinal”(because it isn’t). On the show this week kick off Part One of Just Say No America with the early days of temperance in America, one hatchet wielding granny at a time. (it’s CHOPPING time!) Along the way we learn that Dave just needs a hug. From there we dive into the drinking habits of early America (they drank like Dave!) and then into the first steps toward telling folks that MAYBE drinking all day every day isn't the best idea! (tell that to Dave’s “doctor”) Then we meet the woman who would do ANYTHING to stomp out Demon Alcohol from America, even if it meant taking a hatchet to every saloon in Kansas: Carrie Nation! (She’s fun!) Our Sponsor this week is Ray’s Rehab because we KNOW you aren’t gonna actually QUIT, why not learn how to hide it better? We open

Show Notes Episode 326: Taking A Bite Outta McGruff This week Host Dave Bledsoe just really wants to help the kids, meaning he is drunkenly screaming at them that Santa Claus is a corporate creation to prop up Big Toy. (Again) On the show this week we take a bite outta crime with McGruff the crime dog, who was never actually a cop because he could pass the psyche profile. (Violent tendencies, pees indoors) Along the way we learn about Dave’s short foray being a Furry. From there we explore the world that made it seem like a great idea to have a talking dog tackle the crime problem in America. (As opposed to doing something about wealth inequality and systemic racism.) From there we learn about the dark history of the Ad Council. (It’s not all Fake Indians Crying on highways!) Then we follow the creation of McGruff and the impact he had on crime in America! (Little, likely none.) Our Sponsor this week is Bobby the Blobfish, here to let kids know that Sex is SLIMEY! Eeew! We open the show with McGruff on tele

Show Notes Episode 325: Operators Are Standing, Bye Mr. Popeil This week Host Dave Bledsoe wants to show you his amazing new invention for cleaning up all those pesky full liquor bottles around the house, it’s called the Dave-O-Matic! (And it is just Dave drinking all your booze.) On the show this week, we look back on the life and legacy of America’s Pitchman, Ron Popeil! (We should have called sooner, as our supplies of Ron Popeil have run out.) Along the way we learn about the Ronco Products Dave STILL owns, and hear him angrily deny he paints his bald spot. (NO BALD SPOT!) Then learn about the life of the master marketer and his amazing rise to wealth and advertising fame. Then once we’ve taken care of all those pesky “facts” we get into some of the products that made Ron a VERY rich man! (Do we talk about Mr. Microphone? You know we will come back to pick up you later hot stuff!) Our Sponsor this week is the Junk-O-Matic by DaveCo, even WE don’t know what it does. We open the show with the Bat-O-Matic

Episode 324: Miss Cleo Hung Up On Me This week Host Dave Bledsoe gets into a drunken brawl with a psychic over their prediction and is arrested for punching out a Zoltar Machine. (Again) On the show this week we follow up last week’s 900 Numbers with the face that scammed millions of Americans: Miss Cleo! (We can say that now, she’s isn’t around to sue us!) Along the way, we learn about that one time Dave had his penis cursed by a witch he was dating. (Justified, we are sure) Then we dive right into the story of Psychic Readers Network, and Youree Harris, AKA Miss Cleo. From her humble origins scamming a community theater company in Seattle through her rise to fame as a fake Jamaican fortune teller demanding you call her now for your free psychic reading. (Not free and not a psychic reading) We take a look at what it was like to be a “psychic” on the network doing the readings. Finally, we read the stars who let us know how the Federal government put the hammer down on the Psychic Readers Network for fraud.

Show Notes: Episode 323: $2.00 for the First Minute .99 Cents Each Additional Minute This week Host Dave Bledsoe INSISTS he NEVER made ANY calls to Chubby Girls With Big Butts back in the 1990’s, despite what the phone records say (Over $800 in charges) On the show this week we dial up all the details on 900 Numbers and how they helped America cry when nothing else could. (From the size of the phone bills) Along the way we learn WHO WAS PHONE! as we take back to the days before the Internet helped Americans pretend celebrities wanted to talk to them. (Think Instagram without the bikini clad models) Then we dive right into the sad fate of Larry the Lobster and how lucrative his short sad life was. From there we learn the myriad ways 900 number owners ripped you off, including Santa Clause. Finally, we see what happens when you take advantage of the dumbest Americans so blatantly that Congress actually has to get off it’s ass to DO something. (Don’t worry, they screwed it up and had to go back and try again.)

Episode 322: American Gerbilo This week Host Dave Bledsoe slips in the shower and winds up with his Jameson bottle in a very painful place. (Spilled all over the bathroom floor) On the show this week we examine that time people said Richard Gere put a gerbil in his butt because they were scared of gay people. (Richard Gere: not gay, much to disappointment of some gay men) Along the way we use actual math and science to bust the myth of pumping a rock star’s stomach for semen. (He isn’t good at math, but it seems to check out) From there we dive into the details of why Richard Gere was chosen to be the gerbil host despite being a heterosexual sex symbol and dating a string of extrodinarily hot women.(Because straight men were feeling really inadequate) Then we examine the dark impulses that made this joke spread so far, so fast and persist for so long. (If you guess rampant homophobia, you win this pet gerbil!) Finally we look at how we evolved beyond the small minded homophobia of attacking gay men, into th

Show Notes Episode 321: The REAL Legend of Boggy Creek Charles B Pierce This week Host Dave Bledsoe is tossed out of 237 Pub-N-Pool outside of Texarkana after accusing the waitress of being the Boggy Creek Monster. (He thought it was a pick up line) On the show this week we talk about the Fouke Monster and the man who made millions making a movie about it! (No, seriously!) Along the way we learn about that one time Dave went Bigfoot hunting. (He got drunk in the woods) and then we move straight on to the story of the Fouke Monster, a large hairy ape man that lives in the swamp. (Call him Cletus!) After knocking out the nonsense, we get to the point of the show when we meet Charles B Pierce, filmmaker, advertising mogul and Mayor Chuckles of Laffalot Club! (It isn’t as creepy as it sounds.) We learn about his breakthrough movie about the Fouke Monster and then his career making movies. (Do we cover the chick being stabbed with a trombone? You KNOW it!) Then we wrap it up with our usual tasteful retrospective

Show Notes Episode 320: Call Me...Chris Gaines This week Host Dave Bledsoe INSISTS he is an aging rock star by the name of Duke Blaze and is not responsible for the bartabs incurred by this Dave Bledsoe character. (It...did not work) On the show this week we examine the Life of Chris Gaines who blazed like a falling star for about three months and then crashed into the ocean. (Honestly, we thought this podcast would do the same!) Along the way, we learn that Dave used to dress in snakeskin boots and a big dumb hat because he thought it would get him laid. (It didn’t) Then we dive into the career of a country music legend who changed the songs drunks sing in bars forever! (Give it a shot, just start singing “Blame it all on my roots, I showed up in boots” and see what happens!) Then we recall that time Garth thought he might play Major League Baseball. (Forgot about that didn’t you!) Finally we get around to talking about the odd moment in late 1999 when Garth Brooks decided he wanted to be a sex addicted Au

Episode 319: The True Tale of Dallas Egbert This week Host Dave Bledsoe thought he was lost in the old steam tunnels beneath his favorite bar, but soon figured out he drunkenly stumbled into the women’s restroom. (Again) On the show this week we tell you the true tale behind the boy’s disappearance that launched Tom Hanks’ career. (And made Dave’s parents force him to quit playing Dungeons and Dragons) Along the way we meet James Dallas Egbert III struggling with real demons that were never mentioned in the Monster Manual. Then we introduce Brother Shamus William Dear, who helped find Dallas and bring him home. (For a little while.) From there we go into detail about what really happened when Dallas disappeared and why Dungeons and Dragons was ever brought up in the first place. (Hint: It sold newspapers) Finally we discuss why even the best intentioned lies always wind up doing more harm than good. (Yeah, like forcing Dave to sell his beloved Dungeon Master’s Guide and buy Heavy Metal albums, which did no

Show Notes Episode 318: It’s A Pirate’s Life for Me Part Two: Downloaded from Napster This week Host Dave Bledsoe boots up his old laptop from college and is happy to discover he still remembers the password! (That’s because it is the same one he uses today and is the kind of thing an idiot would have on his luggage!) On the show this week we wrap up our series on music piracy with the halcyon days of Napster before the music industry flooded it with porn and viruses!  (Yeah, we KNOW it was you, assholes!) Along the way we briefly visit Columbia House Records and explain why their business model actually DID work for so many years!  (Come to find out, people are really dumb!)  Then we dive right into the Information Superhighway circa 1999.  (Was there porn?  You betcha!) From there we say mean things about the recording industry for a good long while before finally getting around to talking about Napster.  (This show is really only tangentially about Napster, did you expect anything different?)  From ther