What The Hell Were You Thinking

Show Notes Episode 228: “Chubby White Guy Blues” This week Host Dave Bledsoe apologizes if anyone was offended by his statements at the bar last week, he wants everyone to know that he considered himself an artist and was pushing the boundaries of what he thought he could get away with. (He got his ass kicked by a 63 year old Grandma) On the show this week, we examine the boundaries of what chubby white guys CAN get away and find them appropriately shrinking. (Not fast enough though) Along the way we learn how to homoerotically keep your child from swearing. (Rub that soap, rub it!) Then we take a tour through how NOT to push the boundaries of comedy by saying things Dave said on the playground when he was twelve. (That put pee pee in your coke joke was played when we told it Shane!) We take a turn through the White Dudes of Comedy who are VERY concerned about the things they are no longer allowed to say, even though they say them anyway. Finally, we take a look at Cancel Culture to find culture was

Show Notes Episode 227: “You Know I’m All About That Vape” This week Host Dave Bledsoe comes back from vacation cranky and hungover, so basically nothing has changed. On the show this week we dive headfirst into the vaping panic sweeping the nation and it smells rather like our childhood breakfast cereal. Along the way we find ourselves delighted to watch a full blown social panic unfold before our very eyes! (There are about seven or eight social panics going on right now, but this the newest and least offensive.) We discover where Dave’s nicotine addiction springs from. (He just wanted someone to love him!) Then we get to learn the history of how this highly annoying and utterly inane habit came from a desperate need to stabilize tobacco profits and grew into an activity for douche bros in a fedora! (Dude, check out my lightsaber vape!) We then turn to why vaping is the latest things to scare the crap out of aging white people. (Them durn kids again!) Before you accuse of being insensitive about

If you haven't heard it, it's NEW TO YOU! A "Best" of show because Dave is on vacation and frankly can't bothered to come up with new content. So, take our regards, that is all we are sending this particular day! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Episode 226: “Nuke You Like A Hurricane” This week Host Dave Bledsoe has some ideas to avert the apocalypse of paying his bar tabs, mostly involving wearing a hat and hoping the bartender doesn’t recognize him. (He’s tried it before, didn’t work) On the show this week, we look at some of the ideas for saving the planet from Climate Change, ironically enough, involving giant space hats. (Think. Huge. Hats.) Along the way we take the obligatory excursion to explain for the slow and dimwitted folk who don’t understand science or indeed much of anything why you cannot nuke a hurricane. We also posit that the Jetsons ruined an entire generation, but this is hardly surprising to anyone who's ever watched the Jetsons. Once we get to the point, we look at all the various ideas to save humanity from its own stupidity when the global thermostat breaks. (Except for, you know, the ideas that would WORK but people find inconvenient.) Every single suggestion detailed in this show is one actual scientists have sugges

Episode 225: “Everybody Comes and Comes Again” This week Host Dave Bledsoe gets Old Time Religion which is an off brand of bourbon that gives him alcohol poisoning. Again. On the show this week, we examine the Chosen One, King of Israel and Tangerine Messiah and why he keeps getting away with it. (Besides Mitch Fucking McConnell.) Along the way we head to Church to learn a little about why Evangelical Christians are all in on the ungodliest man to be President since William Howard Taft. (Zoroastrian scum!) We discover the origin story of the Second Coming (The big one, not the one you get by popping two Viagra.) We learn how we are living in the End Times thanks to the guy who starred on Barney Miller. (Not Abe Vigoda, the other one.) Then we head to 6th Century BCE Persia to learn how one of the most powerful Emperors of Persia is exactly like Donald J Trump. (Many of his statues are as bronzed as Don!) Finally, we talk about why our friends the Evangelicals are not only fine with all the crazy t

Show Notes Episode 224 Parts 1 & 2 “Signed Epstein’s Mom” This week Host Dave Bledsoe gets too close to the truth and is cut off by his bartender, who just doesn’t want to hear anymore of his “theories” about Sid and Marty Kroft! (Dope fiends!) On the show this week, we delve into the High Strangeness of the life and death of Jeffrey Epstein. (Shit got weird) This week’s show is massive, so full of THE TRUTH, we had to break into two parts both of which will appear in your feed simultaneously. We recommend you start with Part 1 first, so everything makes sense. But, you know, you do you, we can’t MAKE you do anything you don’t want to do. In Part 1 we examine the improbable rise of a kid from Coney Island who dropped out of college and found himself in the middle of Wall Street. His unlikely ascendance to wealth and his predilection for girls on the younger side of the law. From there we go through his famous friends and his brush with the law. (It was a very small brush) and wrap up with his arrest

Show Notes Episode 224 Parts 1 & 2 “Signed Epstein’s Mom” This week Host Dave Bledsoe gets too close to the truth and is cut off by his bartender, who just doesn’t want to hear anymore of his “theories” about Sid and Marty Kroft! (Dope fiends!) On the show this week, we delve into the High Strangeness of the life and death of Jeffrey Epstein. (Shit got weird) This week’s show is massive, so full of THE TRUTH, we had to break into two parts both of which will appear in your feed simultaneously. We recommend you start with Part 1 first, so everything makes sense. But, you know, you do you, we can’t MAKE you do anything you don’t want to do. In Part 1 we examine the improbable rise of a kid from Coney Island who dropped out of college and found himself in the middle of Wall Street. His unlikely ascendance to wealth and his predilection for girls on the younger side of the law. From there we go through his famous friends and his brush with the law. (It was a very small brush) and wrap up with his arrest

Show Notes Episode 223: Perfectly Good White Boys This week Host Dave Bledsoe just really misses his Dad. On the show this week we talk about all the angry young white boys out there and why they keep doing the things they do. (Hint: it’s because they are really angry) Along the way we examine the social rot that causes men in America to just be so fucking stupid all the time. (It isn’t the penis...at least not entirely) We find out what it took to be a man and why all the things that made us “men” also made really BAD people. We talk about what it means to be a man today and why it is so HARD for many men. (Because no one teaches them how?) Then we offer a simple suggestion on how to make things better. (Cry, cry baby, CRY!) Our Sponsor this week is Jacob, the most popular boy’s name in 2001, who has some issues with the world we’ve given him. We open the show with Lane Meyer and close with Mike Massé and Jeff Hall. Show Theme: https://www.jamendo.com/track/421668/prelude-to-common-sense The Sh

Show Notes Episode 222: “Uh Oh, It’s Magick!” This week Host Dave Bledsoe wants you to know that tricks are something whores do for money. Or cocaine. On the show this week, we discuss how Marianne Williamson is using the forces of the occult to control our minds. (But she’s doing it for LOVE!) Along the way we get to learn all about the spookily youthful looking 67 year old spiritual guru and her rise to prominence. (Thanks Oprah.) We don’t learn anything about her policies or plans because there is magick and then there are miracles and it would take divine intervention for her to win. (I mean, unless it was just her and Bill DeBlasio, then we would vote for her. Out of spite.) Reality, or whatever passes for it these days, we go on a deep dive into the arcane arts of Chaos Magick and how people are using to it influence our elections. (And you thought the Russians talking to your parents on Facebook was bad!) Finally, we reveal the awesome power of the most powerful Chaos Magician in all of hum

Show Notes Episode 221: “What ME Worry?” This week Host Dave Bledsoe wants you to know ANY resemblance between him and a certain humor magazine mascot is entirely fictional and you shouldn’t believe your lying damn eyes. (OMG! Look at him! He totally looks like Alfred E Nueman!) On the show this week, we mourn the passing of an American institution, the venerable and influential Mad Magazine. Along the way we learn the very first thing the Internet supplanted in it’s march to cultural dominance. (Uncles, not just for being kinda creepy!) We also discover how a kids humor magazine is essentially responsible for everything that happens on this podcast. (Except for the Host’s drinking problem, that is TOTALLY on him!) We go back to the beginning of Mad to learn how a bunch of busy body do gooders worried that comic books were destroying the moral fiber of America were key to creating the humor magazine responsible for destroying the moral fiber of America. (It was the like Tipper Gore before she was e

Show Notes Episode 220: “Walking On, Walking On the Moon” Part Two of the Moon Shot Spectacular! This week Host Dave Bledsoe uses special effects to prove he is functional and healthy and still can’t convince anyone it's true. (All the magic in Hollywood can’t help him there!) On the show this week, it is Part Two of our Moon Shot Spectacular, and we are asking if we even WENT to the damn Moon. (Hint: We TOTALLY did!) Along the way we meet the Moon Truthers who were just asking questions. (Despite the answers being extremely obvious!) We look at some of the reasons WHY people think and thought we never went to the Moon. (Mostly because of idiocy.) We learn how Archimedes got it wrong and for fourteen bucks they will prove it to you. (Save your money, they didn’t) Then we look at some of the cultural conditions that made so many people believe in the Moon Hoax. (Fucking Dick Nixon) Finally, we express some real sympathy for those who want to believe so badly that humanity never left Earth. Our S

Show Notes Episode 219: “Whitey’s On the Moon” (Part 1 of the Moon Shot Spectacular) This week Host Dave Bledsoe invites everyone to play the Moon Shot game with him, meaning the listener takes a shot whenever he uses profanity. (It’s a game you play to lose.) On the show this week we take you through the history of the Space Program from Nazi’s to Apollo 11, and ask if it was worth all the money we spent? Along the way we learn the secrets NASA (Never a straight answer) doesn’t WANT you to know about why we had a space race. (Surprise, it was the Russians!) and why JFK wanted us to go to the Moon. (He heard there were hot Moon chicks!) We talk Wernher Von Braun and why we don’t have Moon Bases after FIFTY FREAKING YEARS! (Turns out, no hot Moon Chicks!) Part One of the Moon Shot is all about how we went to the Moon, Part Two is all about us asking “But did we?” (Spoiler Alert: We Did) But that is NEXT WEEK! Our Sponsor this week is The Luna, Luxury Living on the Moon! We open the show with Dana

Show Notes Episode 218: “Redneck High Holy Day” This week Host Dave Bledsoe demands we hold his beer and watch this! (It ends about as well as you expect.) On the show this week we are talking about the 4th of July, and how people are WAY to upset about Trump’s Military MAGA Rally on the Mall! (Honestly, you all should know better than to expect him to do the right thing by now!) Along the way, we learn a little history about Independence Day. (For example it was Bill PULLMAN in the movie, not Bill Paxton!) We also learn that we’ve been celebrating the WRONG day in July for all of our history! We take a tour through the first July 4th celebrations to find how similar they are to what we do now. (Including the part where someone desperately starts screaming and looking for their fingers!) Then we get down to the brutal truth about the day, it is NOT a holiday for effete Left Coast Liberals who Hate America, July 4th is for the PEOPLE of America, not YOU! (Ipso Facto, Trump’s MAGA rally is EXACTLY the c

Show Notes Episode 217: “Drinking the Bastards Goodbye” This week Host Dave Bledsoe is sitting on a barstool, acting like a dern fool that is what he is doing today. (And every day really.) On the show this week, sheer righteous rage brings us back to the embers of the Great American Shitter Fire and how some DC media types are throwing going away soirees for the Mouth of Sauron.(Why do you think we never see her smile?) We dive into a Columbia Journalism Review account of Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ going away “Not a Party” with the White House Press Corp, who will apparently drink with anyone. (Knowing some journalists, this is not untrue.) We dissect the piece in depth and ask some questions of the reporters at the “drinks event” that we believe On the Media would ask. (If Bob Garfield had a couple of stiff drinks and decided it was time to leave by going out in a blaze of glory.) We make some cutting observations about the kind of people willing to knock back overpriced cocktails in a swanky DC Steak

Show Notes Episode 216: “It Must Be George’s Will” This week Host Dave Bledsoe talks about losing his religion only to discover he’s said too much, or he hasn’t said enough. On the show this week we talk about the life, career and impact of George Carlin, and why Dave only prays to George. (It’s because every prayer starts with a profanity!) Along the way we learn all the ways George was manifestly unfit to serve in the military and how strikingly similar his experience was with Dave’s! (We will never figure out how Dave wasn’t booted out too!) We travel with George from his days as a Hippie Dippy Weatherman (the forecaster not the early 70’s terrorist group, as far as we know) to counter culture icon, free speech warrior in the Supreme Court, to angry man with many many words. Finally, we talk about George’s most iconic and influential role that shaped American life in a deep and profoundly uplifting way! (Trust us, strange things are afoot at the Circle K!) Finally, we discover how George saved live

Show Notes Episode 215: “Midnight Three State Beer Run” This week, Host Dave Bledsoe takes us on a wild midnight ride into his youth searching for cheap beer and meaningful friendships. (He finds only cheap beer.) On the show this week, we are talking about the beers you were drinking when you were too young to even be drinking beer and why they were so TERRIBLE! (Turns out cheap beer is SUPPOSED to be terrible, it’s part of it!) Along the way we learn a little about the history of beer in America and how it became so ingrained in our national psyche! (Americans have EXTREMELY poor taste?) Once we move past the dark days of Prohibition, we take you the pinnacle of American beer production and consumption! (History knows this as the “Bland Years”) Then, we break down all the tricks and gimmicks the Big Brewers used to trick you into believing the domestic swill you are chugging out of a red Solo cup is actually a “craft brew”. (Fuck you Icehouse, you were never fooling ANYONE!) Finally, we examine the

Show Notes Episode 114: The Mystery of Fresno Redux This week Host Dave Bledsoe attempts to roll a Saving Throw against the Real World gets a big fat One! Which means this is a rerun for Dave’s 50th Birthday. Since he rapidly running out of them, we figure now is a good time to celebrate. So, enjoy this Redux episode, 114 “The Mystery of Fresno”! On the show this week we turn our backs on all the bad news about shootings, Trumpcare and racist government officials and dive deep into a mystery of Lovecraftian proportion: Gary Gygax’s FBI File! Along the way we learn everything there is to know about the Father of Role Playing Games from his rough origins on the mean streets of Chicago to his youth on the even meaner if more manicured streets of Lake Geneva Wisconsin. (Do NOT mess with the gardeners, they WILL rake you!) Even you if never rolled a 20 sided die in your life, you will be enspelled by the origins of the game and the dark pacts signed by the creators to our Dark Lord Satan. Thrill to the adv

Show Notes Episode 214: “Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Crafts” This week Host Dave Bledsoe has a Close Encounter of the Worst Kind when he is confronted by Men in Black demanding he pay his bar tabs. On the show this week we examine the nonchalance of First Contact. (Aliens? SO BORING!) Along the way we discuss the technologies the Aliens traded us for unlimited human abductions. (High speed porn was a great deal!) We dig deep on the latest spate of reports of flying Tic Tacs spotted by Navy pilots. (Why Tics Tacs when Mentos makes more sense propulsion wise?) We examine every possibility explaining the phenomena, including the possibility the entire thing is just some bullshit the pilots are saying to get laid. (Unlikely, there are easier ways for that to happen.) Then we dive deep on WHY Dave believes so fervently these are IN FACT actual Extraterrestrial Beings from ANOTHER PLANET operating this crafts and WHY they are here! (Intergalactic airfares are at an all time low and they got a GREAT

Show Notes Episode 213: “Like a Wet Fart In Church” This week Host Dave Bledsoe is taking the weekend to enjoy the “Official Start of Summer” by drinking to the honor or all the dead soldier we don’t think about on Memorial Day! On the show this week, we are doing a Story Time Edition of the show with a heartwarming tale of a young boy and the natural by-products of the digestive process! Show Theme: https://www.jamendo.com/track/421668/prelude-to-common-sense The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/ The Show on Soundcloud https://soundcloud.com/david-bledsoe-4 www.whatthehellpodcast.com Give us your money on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast The Show Line: 347 687 9601 Closing Music: https://youtu.be/3D3BXPHtMB4 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Show Notes Episode 212: “You Gotta Keep ‘Em Impregnated” This week Host Dave Bledsoe finally gets “The Talk” and learned where bar tabs come from. (When a podcast host loves whiskey very much…) On the show this week keep it FUN with a deep dive with the assault on Roe v Wade! (Don’t worry Gavin edited out all the “jokes” Dave learned as a kid.) Along the way learn the origin story of the the most controversial Supreme Court ruling in the latter half of the 20th Century! (No, not ALMOTA FARMERS ELEVATOR & WHSE. CO. v. U.S.(1973), the other one that year.) We explain why Roe was just a bad case all around for BOTH sides of the issue. (I mean if RBG hates it…) We examine the good faith arguments of the anti-abortion side in a kind and sensitive manner. (The word idiot isn’t even used once!) Then we dissect how Roe shaped the modern GOP and the Conservative movement in the United States. Finally, we look forward to the future without Roe and wonder if we have enough red fabric dye for all those Handmaid