What The Hell Were You Thinking

Show Notes Episode 211: Son of a Preacher Man This week Host Dave Bledsoe is trying to get someone to help him deal with a certain set of photos that are alleged to exist. (Rumor has it he is seen drinking Bushmills) On the show this week we talk about why Men of God are so ungodly, and why that might be. (Hint: They are men.) Along the way we examine the rich history of grifting evangelists and how they always seem to be forgiven. (It’s like their followers aren’t very bright or something.) We talk about the kind of images that Trump’s Fixer MIGHT have “taken care of” for Jerry Falwell Jr. (We are just speculating and are in no way suggesting they involved three llamas and Little Person using a comically large marital aid.) Then we think we have the answer to the question the media keeps asking about why evangelical voters are so willing to overlook the divorces, adultery, fornication, porn stars and general ungodliness of Donald J Trump! (It’s like they’ve put up with from their spiritual leaders f

Episode 210: We Drink and We Know Things This week Host Dave Bledsoe stumbles out from his hiding spot in the crypts only find out he was only passed out in the boiler room again. On the show this week reveal the secret of the Night Kings power! (Hint: Fan rage!) Don’t worry, the episode is spoiler free. (Unless you count us talking about all the things that happen on the show.) Along the way we examine the phenomena that is Game of Thrones and how it went from little noticed fantasy novel to the biggest television show in history! (We strongly suspect it has something to do with boobs.) After this, we take a look at the cultural impact of the HBO Blockbuster, and how it crossed out of fantasy’s traditional dorky white male fandom. (Is it Peter Dinklage? We, honestly, are still working on it.) We see how the books begat the show and the show begat the fandom and then we discover how both the books and the show let us all down. We talk about predecessor works in fantasy why you should never start rea

Episode 209: All We Are Saying Is, Give Impeachment a Chance This week Host Dave Bledsoe and the staff are embroiled in an editorial fracas over what to name the show. (Peaches! COME ON the bands LITERAL name is Presidents of the United States!) Also, we talk about the Mueller Report and what should done about it. (But come on imPEACHment! It makes so much sense!) Along the way we dig into the details provided by the Special Counsel about the crimes, demi-crimes and quasi-crimes committed by President Peach. We dive into the Attorney General’s position that you can’t prosecute obstruction when there was no underlying crime. (Martha Stewart begs to differ!) Then we tackle the legal, political and moral implications of Congress doing their damn jobs only to realize, Congress doesn’t recognize those words. Finally, we make an impassioned argument for justice. (For an atheist, Dave sure does love to preach. Or PrEACH!) Our Sponsor this week is Incompetence, when you want to crime but aren’t smart enoug

Show Notes Episode 208 “Times We Got Wasted on the Way” (4th Anniversary Show) This week host Dave Bledsoe sobers up briefly and reacts in horror at how he’s spent the last four years of his life. (He had a few drinks to settle his nerves, he’s fine now.) On the show this week we spend our time gazing in our navels about what we’ve learned in four years of doing a low rated podcast. (Very, very, VERY little.) Along the way we learn that Dave is an award winning poet. (If you count Second Grade) a playwright and a part time exotic dancer. We go behind the scenes on what it takes to make a low rated podcast (The cheapest whiskey we can find in a Jameson bottle, he will never know) and what kind of masochism we must possess to keep doing it over and over, year after year. (We are very bad daddy, we deserve the punishment.) (We also should be punished for writing that last parenthetical.) Finally, Dave get’s all drunk and maudlin and thanks everyone who’s helped him out, made him laugh or just annoyed the s

Show Notes Episode 207: Teach the World Turtle This week Host Dave Bledsoe helps science image a Black Hole MUCH closer to Earth by providing them with ten years of his credit reports. On the show this week, we examine the conspiracy theory that makes QAnon seem quite logical: Flat Earthers. (Though, many of them are the same people people.) Along the way we learn about Dave’s crippling fear of Vampires in his youth and his flirtation with Catholicism. (It didn’t take long to be replaced by a rational fear of Catholics Priests.) Then we dive right in to the history of Religious Cosmology throughout the ages, from the Ur myths of Humanity to YouTube. Then we examine the history of the Flat Earth grift and discover who is profiting from the contemporary Stupidity Industrial Complex. (It is EXACTLY who you think it is.) Finally, we divine the only remotely possible Flat Earth theory, the World Turtle AND the Elephants. (Everyone leaves out the Elephants!) Our Sponsor this week is Humoralism, who remind

Episode 206: The Guns of Brexit This week Host Dave Bledsoe gives Gavin his birthday present only for Gavin to discover it’s an empty bottle of his favorite Scotch. On the show this week we head across The Pond and talk Brexit. (Whatever the hell THAT is!) Along the way we learn the history of Europe in under two minutes and why even THEY finally decided they didn’t want to do war no more. (And they were SO good at it!) We discover how the European Union grew from few wild nights in Rome into the Tussles In Brussels! (Don’t worry we go quick.) Then we explain what a Brexit IS and what it is going to do the the United Kingdom, who wins and who loses when Brexit finally happens. (Ireland wins, everyone else loses.) Finally, we look at how Brexit ties into our own Little Problem in America. Our Sponsor is Restore From Last Good Copy, because sometimes you can’t fix what you fucked up. We open the show with Dennis’ political viewpoints and close with Justin Armstrong who just wants to know what to do.

Episode 205: Who Will Save Our Souls This week Host Dave Bledsoe sifts for clues, canvasses the neighborhood and grills the suspects to solve the mystery of what happened to his dignity and self respect. (Turns out, he never had any.) On the show this week we try to solve the mystery of what happened with the Mueller Report. (Turns out, Trump is just a clueless shit for brains!) Along the way we talk 70’s Detectives and why we never got a Gran Torino like Starsky and Hutch. (We were NEVER that cool!) Then we dip our toes into the Barr Memo on the Mueller Report about the Russia Investigation in almost a few words and as quickly as the Attorney General used. (NO COLLUSION! NO COLLUSION!) We look at Mueller as the Magical Unicorn that was gonna save us all. (Turns out he was just a man, a man wearing a single horn on his head, but just a man.) Then we explain where to go from here. (Maybe for ice cream?) Our Sponsor this week is Deal With It, for when things don’t work out the way you wanted. We op

Show Notes Episode 204: Kellyanne, Don’t Take Your Love to Trump This week Host Dave Bledsoe doles out relationship advice, unfortunately his only lasting one is with a bottle of Jameson. (To be fair, they’ve been together for years!) On the show this week, we talk Conway vs Conway in a steel cage match to keep the love of a good woman from being stolen away by a dinky fingered porn groper. (Surprisingly, this is NOT as shot at Dave!) Along the way we look at the history of Worst Couple as they rose from the children of wealth and privilege to the highest pinnacles of D.C. power. (They took the elevator one floor) From there we look at love and politics in America only to find we might be good for a one night stand with Campus Gun Chick, we are NOT going to take her home to meet Mom! (Who, actually, would LOVE her!) Finally, we ask the hard question: Are George and Kelletor gonna be OK after this week of hell. (Our sources say they are snuggling all the way to the bank.) Our Sponsor this week is Fix-A

Show Notes Episode 203: Bribing Your Way Into Bartender College This week Host Dave Bledsoe’s alma mater files a restraining order to prevent him from revealing his matriculation at their institution. On the show this week we talk about parents showing their love for their children by breaking Federal Law. (Our parents don’t love US enough to risk prison, that’s for sure!) Along the way we learn how to ace your SATs without even trying. (Hint: Crime!) We ask some hard questions about college athletics. (WATER POLO? Seriously?) We then discuss more traditional means of college admissions through expenditures of money most people don’t have, from buying buildings to test prep. (Test prep cost about as much as bribing the proctor.) We also point out that what the admissions scandal parents did probably shouldn’t be illegal since the entire system is constructed to encourage doing exactly what they did, and why the colleges like it that way. (Each generations of student loans produces the next! Perfec

Show Notes Episode 202: “Sometimes, Bad Is Bad” This week Host Dave Bledsoe puts on his parachute pants, digs out his fedora and snaps his glove on to Moonwalk into the 80’s only to discover he is too fat to fit into any of that anymore. (Even the fedora.) On the show this week we take on the documentary EVERYONE is talking about. (No not that one where they manufacture Play Doh, the OTHER one!) Rather than tackle the hard questions of guilt or innocence (And because we feel there really IS no question) we bravely run away from the content of Leaving Neverland and talk about how famous Michael Jackson REALLY was! (He BOUGHT the Beatles, think about that!) and how he was able to to fly around the world with a bevy of ever changing white boys and no one thought it was even a LITTLE strange. We go on a trip to Disney World to see Captain EO. (Seriously, Elvis didn’t get his own Disney attraction!) Then we check in on the rise and fall of America’s Love Affair with the King of Pop. (Yes, we play the Eddie

Show Notes Episode 201: Horrible Bosses This week Host Dave Bledsoe completes the staff’s annual performance reviews only to find they all quit some time ago. (Except for you, Gavin.) On the show this week, we talk about Senator Amy Klobuchar candidacy for Worst Boss of the Year and whether or not it impacts her chances on that other thing she’s running for. (Hint: Yes.) Along the way we learn about some of Dave’s worst bosses, his best boss and about his own management style. (Gavin keeps laugh/barking at the term “management”) We learn what it means to be “Minnesota Nice” (turns out, not very nice at all) and about alternative eating utensils. We examine the gender dynamics of working for an asshole boss and solve once and for all which is worse: asshole male boss of asshole female boss. (The answer may shock you!) Finally, we discuss not the BEST way to handle your asshole boss, a definitely A way. Our Sponsor this week is Ebeneezer’s Employment Emporium, the answer to asshole’s staffing need

Show Notes Episode 200: “Just A Little Prick” This week Host Dave Bledsoe celebrates two hundred shows by finally getting himself checked out after that long weekend in Juarez. (Diagnosis: he’s still owes 800 Pesos on bar tab) On the show this week we ask the doctors to give it to us straight, only to find we can’t take the news about anti-vaxxers. Along the way we learn the history of vaccines panics (turns out people LIKED dying of Smallpox) and how they crop up in the same places every so often. We learn what Moses, Jesus and Mohammed had to say about getting vaccines. (Nothing. Absolutely nothing.) We run down the Who’s Who of the Anti-Vaxxer movement and find ourselves shocked that the non-Baldwin Brother Baldwin is involved! (Oh, Adam, we loved you as Jayne Cobb!) We also look into the medical “professionals” who support the wildly inaccurate claims of the movement. (For a price.) Finally, we assign blame to the one person who has done more to make the movement flourish than any other. (Rhymes w

Episode 199: “Howard’s End” This week Host Dave Bledsoe just want a simple cup of damn coffee, is that too much to ask? (Apparently so) On the show this week, we wonder if it is too much to ask if Howard Schultz could take his ass back to ruining Seattle instead of all America. (Turns out, he can’t) Along the way we look into the history of Mr Crappy Coffee Man and why he thinks he should be President. (He’s delusional) We examine America’s reactions to another rich white dude with no business being President running to be President. (Turns out, not enthused.) Then we dive into the psyche of the wealthy that drives them to be such pricks. (Because they can.) Finally, we determine what it will take for Howard to take the hint and finally abandon his nonsense ideas. (We must wait for the Stars to Be Right!) Our Sponsor this week is Regular Ass Coffee, when you just want a cup of DAMN COFFEE. We open the show with the OTHER famous Schultz and close with Rachael Sage assigning blame. The Show on Twit

Show Notes Episode 198: “I Saw A White Face, and They’re All Painted Black” This week Host Dave Bledsoe digs into his own history of cultural appropriation stubbornly continues to do his “Uncle Murray” impression. (Mel Brooks should sue his ass!) On the show this week, we take a look at the long and embarrassing history of White People being just the Whitest of people. (Honestly, White People!) We open with a long talk about what the hell people are thinking in Virginia, and we mean that honestly does anyone know what is going on down there things seem a bit tense? We then dive headlong into the murky waters of why some black people thought it would be a good idea to paint their face black for their “art”. (Because they are White.) Then we take a fast tour through ALL the things stolen from Black folks by White folks and why they stole them. (Because, again, White People.) We ask some tough questions about WHY White people have such a blind spot to their ongoing cultural looting and why they get so u

Show Notes Episode 197: “Will the Real Roger Stone Please Stand Up?” This week Host Dave Bledsoe reveals what his friends in high school REALLY thought about him. (The ones that really existed anyway.) On the show this week we FINALLY get to talk about Roger Stone, who this week FINALLY got his turn in the barrel. Along the way we discover the dark underworld of GOP politics and how their nefarious tactics got so many criminal incompetents elected! (It’s not big secret, they just threw a lot of money around.) We devote the bulk of the show to the life and times of Nixon loving swinger Roger Stone, who would like you to believe he’s been at the center of every political scandal, dirty trick and nefarious double since Julius Caesar got shivved on the Senate floor! (Or WAS he? Roger, Jules was DEFINITELY shanked!) We go on to chart Roger’s stunning rise and amusing fall from grace and his long relationship with the Orange Hate. We learn how more than anyone else, Roger Stone is why Individual-1’s fat as

Recorded today from Fast Eddie's Fined Used Cars, Howard Beach Queens, Host Dave Bledsoe makes a major announcement for America. #Dave2020 "Fuck It, Let's Give THIS Guy A Chance" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Show Notes Episode 195: “Pardon This Trash Heap” This week Host Dave Bledsoe decides to tidy up and organize the studio by finally collecting all the empty Jameson bottles and use the recycling cash for more Jameson. (Seriously, this is a HUGE amount of recycling cash!) On the show this week we examine the latest craze sweeping the nation: throwing out all of your useless crap so you can buy MORE useless crap! (God Bless America!) Along the way we meet Marie Kondo, whose philosophy of organizing has inspired America to flood Goodwill with old tshirts and skid marked underwear. We learn the secrets Marie uses to track down and destroy the dark spirits which lurk in our closets. (Look out Chuck Norris!) We learn that Dave’s Mom was practicing KondoMari long before Marie was born because there was NO WAY they were taking ALL of these Star Wars figures to GUAM! Half of them don’t even have heads! (Don’t ask what happened to the heads, you will be happier not knowing!) Then we take a surprising detour in

Show Notes Episode 194: “When the Walls Coming Tumblin’ Down” This week Host Dave Bledsoe learns there IS a lot of difference between a bridge and a wall, when John Cameron Mitchell threatens to sue him for performing Hedwig songs at karaoke. (Talk about Hedwig’s lament!) On the show this week, we talk how every government shutdown is stupid, but a Trump shutdown is stupid in it’s own way. Along the way we learn about the history of shutting down the government and who is always responsibly. (Hint: They contain the letter G,O, &P). We detail exactly HOW we got to where we are right now in this shut down. (A few thousand very dumb people in just the right states voted for a moron.) We get to go inside the mind of the President (it’s smaller than even we thought) and understand WHY he is so adamant he gets his little wall. (Turns out, he is a racist old gasbag! Who knew?!) Finally, if all else fails, Dave has a solution not just for the shutdown but a win/win for both Trump supporters and Rational Thi

Show Notes Episode 193: And the Race Is On This week Host Dave Bledsoe feels tears welling up cold and deep on the inside when he discovers he’s caught his testicles in his zipper. Again. On the show this week we examine the early contenders for the Democratic nomination in 2020. (We know, too soon.) Along the way, we break down the pros and cons of the top seven polling potentials and award each a highly scientific rating on their chances based on Dave’s Maternal Grandmother’s sophisticated Granny Contingent Possibility Scale. (Suck it Nate Silver and Nate Cohen!) We look into their qualifications and their drawbacks in a purely objective and not at all fanboy fashion. (Although, if Beto would LIKE us to join his campaign in a media role, we would not turn it down.) Finally, we address the implausibility and impossibility of making ANY predictions about 2020 this far out, with the looming specter of Nancy Pelosi being President by the time we get to that election. (There is a non-zero chance!) Our

Show Notes Episode 192: Reeling In the Year (2018 Recapped) This week Host Dave Bledsoe just phones it in really. (He is barely even trying.) Which is why you are getting a stupid clip show. It shows you, our valued listener that we we care just enough to do the very least. So, enjoy this year in review as we look back in loathing, disgust and horror on the year that was 2018 in one low rated podcast. Happy New Year. We guess. Our Sponsor this week is 1974, you may think 2018 was BAD, but it’s got nothing on 1974, We open with some computer generated voice, which is more pathetic that someone made a video like this or that we used it as a show intro. (Smart money is on us) and we close with the Backroom Band Reeling in the Year. The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/ The Show on Soundcloud https://soundcloud.com/david-bledsoe-4 www.whatthehellpodcast.com Give us your money on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/W