What The Hell Were You Thinking

Show Notes Episode 152: Spaaaaaaaace Force! This week Host Dave Bledsoe turns his eyes to the Heavens and wonders if he really is alone in the Universe, and then his taxi finally arrives and he heads home from the bar. On the show this week we talk about the bold new plan for America’s future military envisioned by Spaceball President Trump: The SPAAAAAAACE FORCE! Along the way we bid goodbye to Big Rex as he shoots for the Moon in his next career. We further discover that we HAVE a whole command that does space RIGHT NOW! But they do NOT have laser pistols. (Not even a Blaster Pistol!) We even surprised ourselves by learning the idea of a Space Force is not quite as crazy as it sounds. (I mean, it’s STILL pretty crazy.) Finally, we take a good hard look at what serving in a Trump lead Space Force might actually be like. (Think more revealing uniforms than those worn by the lovely Colonel Wilma Deering.) Our Sponsor this week is The Spaaaaaaaace Force, who want to know if YOU ARE READY TO DEFEND H

Show Notes Episode 151: To All the Guns We’ve Loved Before This week Host Dave Bledsoe gets really emotional about old loves, including his first love whom he never wanted to leave: his Smith and Wesson.38 Police Special. On the show this week we look at how much America loves guns, and not in a negative way. (OK, it’s a LITTLE negative) Along the way we deconstruct some myths about guns (Turns out, NOT MADE BY GNOMES!) and come at you with the history. We learn a lot more about Dave’s creepily Conservative past than we are comfortable knowing. (He VOTED FOR HW BUSH!) We also learn how to apply for a gun license in New York CIty. (Step One: Be Oprah.) We also FINALLY give it up for our Conservative Sisters and Brothers and admit they are right about one part of gun control (It hurt us a lot to do it.) Our Sponsor this week is Friedrich’s Finest Flintlock Fixers, supplying your Musket Repair Needs since 1695! We open the show Sam Jackson gunsplaning and close with Sandy Leung's ode to past loves.

Episode 150: “Holding Back the Years” This week Host Dave Bledsoe invites you to lace up your Chuck Taylors, pull on your Izod shirt, grab you Members Only Jacket and head down to the arcade with him to celebrate One Hundred and Fiftieth Episode and Thee Years of this here low rated podcast! (We don’t know who is a bigger glutton for punishment!) On this episode we examine what has transpired in the world since we started this show, and want you to know we take NO responsibility for how badly things turned out. (We did NOT elect Trump, not matter what anyone says!) Then we spend rather a lot of time bashing a certain best selling book that is little more than and litany of cliched pop culture references disguise as a novel. (Sounds like a certain podcast on which we write show notes.) We also sincerely doubt whether the movie about to premier based on this novel will be worth watching. Then we remind EVERYONE that the 80’s was only cool and fun if you a white, straight male with access to a fair amoun

Show Notes Episode 149: “The Kids Are A’ight” This week Host Dave Bledsoe embraces the youth of today, only to throw his back out and need to spend the rest of the week in bed. On the show this week we think that MAYBE the world is in pretty good hands with these Parkland kids after all. (They made Marco Rubio cry!) Along the way we point out that our beloved Generation X had it pretty easy when you think about it and you OWE us for putting all that porn on the Internet. (It was hard work, but worth it!) We also explain why GenX was considered such a bunch of slackers. (Dude, we WANTED to do stuff!) Then we dig around in the garbage cans that are Conservative Twitter to come up with a selection of truly batshit crazy conspiracy theories about Parkland. (Emma Gonzalez is an Reptilian! Alex Jones said so!) Then we explain why these kids are so scary to the NRA. (Hint, they are gonna win.) Our Sponsor this week is Hypocro-C, a prescription antiperspirant for Conservatives. We open the show with the

Show Notes Episode 148: Same Shooting, Different Dead This week Host Dave Bledsoe cannot believe he has to do this shit again. On the show this week, we cannot believe we have to do this shit again. In America, we keep doing this shit again, and no one seems to be able to stop or who is to blame. (WE have some ideas) Along the way we talk about the show we WANTED to do this week. (We were doing PORN damnit!) Instead we not how you have a kid in school everyone says is going to shoot up the school someday, that kid will probably do exactly that. (Maybe you should tell someone?) We definitely do NOT talk about gun control whatsoever! (We are not allowed!) Then we tell you WHY we can never talk gun control ever again. (Hint: It’s the NRA!) Our Sponsor this week is Sanity, it’s in short supply but also in low demand! We open the show with a favorite philosopher explaining why we are always doing this damn show and close with Youtuber IndependentProject91 explaining true happiness! https://www.youtu

Show Notes Episode 147: “Generalissimo Trump’s Tiny Dick-Tator Parade” This week Host Dave Bledsoe comes to attention, salutes the flag and marches right into the bar next door, because he ain’t gonna study war no more. On the Show this week we ask what if we had a war parade and nobody came? (Kind of like Donnie’s inauguration!) Along the way we remember what is was like when our military parades actually celebrated a victory in a war and remind you that we’ve been at war seventeen years and still have not won. We also address Post Vietnam Guilt Syndrome and how it was very bad for the Veterans, yet we DID get some kickass movies in the 80’s! (Heroes never die, they just reload!) We also learn about the time Dave was forced to march in a military parade, it was VERY informative! (HE HAD TO WALK BEHIND THE CLOWNS!) Our Sponsor this week is Tiberius’ Triumphs, when you need the mob on your side, try Tiberius. We open the show with Colbert parade coverage and close with Hayseed Dixie. Show Music: http

Show Notes Episode 146: My Devin Just Wrote Me A Letter This week Host Dave Bledsoe makes an error on his TPS Report cover sheet and claims he never even got that memo! On the show this week we cover a Memo of a different sort, you know one crafted by one corrupt idiot to cover up the crimes of another corrupt idiot. (Imagine how angry we will be when it is actually released!) Along the way we enlighten you to the utter unimportance of ANY State of the Union Address (The state of our Union is fine, good night everybody). We ponder the mental acuity of your average member of Congress and realize that even THEY think Devin Nunes is a moron. There is some small allusion to the fate of a Fox News talking Nazi Bobblehead when the Revolution comes. (In a purely hypothetical way) Finally we find ourselves in the untenable position of DEFENDING the Federal Bureau of Investigation. (Not you Mulder, you’re cool with us!) Our Sponsor this week is Big Jim’s Memo Hut, if you are thoroughly corrupt, think Big Jim’

Show Notes Episode 145: “Spanks for the Memories” This week Host Dave Bledsoe learns that not even his beloved porn is immune to the corruption of the Trump Presidency. On the show this week, we talk about the weather as Stormy Daniels blows in, knocks over a few lawn chairs and then blows back out to sea. (Honestly, this President is a goddamn vampire or something!) Along we way we learn more than anyone ever wanted to know about the sex life of Donald John Trump--and we are not happy about it. We question the ethics of porn, and conclude porn actors are the real heroes in this situation. (God bless them!) We empathize with the folks at the Wall Street Journal who never once believed they would ever be writing about hush money to porn stars. (It’s SO GAUCHE!) Finally, we ask those without sin to cast the first stone and get hit by a fucking rock thrown by Franklin Graham. Our Sponsor this week is Hush, when you need it kept quiet, Hush! We open the show with a gleeful Jeanie Moss from CNN and

Show Notes Episode 144: “The Cure Is Worse Than The Aziz” This week the listeners will find out more about Host Dave Bledsoe’s sex life than they EVER wanted to know. (He likes being spanked with a rolled up copy of Highlights Magazine.) On the show this week we talk about the continuing downfall of men and their eventual replacements with stepladders and cloning technology. (Can’t happen soon enough.) Along the way we tackle the thorny topics of Aziz Ansari’s bad sex techniques, and how MAYBE he might not want to take sex advice from Pepe Le Pew. Along the way we talk about why men are so tense when reminded they are recipient of an entire society structured for their advancement. (Well, we didn’t ASK for it!) We clean out the litter box of the Cat Person article from the end of last year. (Hey, we are allowed to enjoy the Holidays too!) and make some suggestions on how we might solve the entire consent problem in a single generation. (But we don’t have time for rational solutions.) Our Sponsor this

Special Edition 10: “Why You Gotta Be So Mean?” This week Host Dave Bledsoe finally understands what we’ve been trying tell him for years: His kind of a dick. On the show this week, we talk about how big a dick Dave is and why this is so. There isn’t much more to say other than if you’re gonna punch, always punch up. Our Sponsor this week is Chill Bro, dude, all you gotta do is Chill Bro. We open the show with a bit from College Humor about all the assholes in the world and close with YouTubes Olivia Mitchell Music asking why we gotta be so mean. https://youtu.be/iCBOy6gAFEY Show Music: https://www.jamendo.com/track/421668/prelude-to-common-sense The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/ The Show on Soundcloud www.whatthehellpodcast.com Give us your money on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/user?u=5313785 The Show Line: 347 687 9601 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Show Notes Episode 143: “Stephen’s Last Night In Town” This week Host Dave Bledsoe violates his doctor’s orders and rasps out another show AND mixes painkillers with whiskey, because you can’t tell HIM what to do! On the show this week, we talk about the fire and fury that is consuming the White House with the release of a tell all tale told by ex-friend Steve Bannon! (cuz if you don’t lie then you ain’t no friend of Don’s) Along the way we talk nuclear dick measuring and make a disgusting mushroom head joke. (Ugh, no!) We examine the familial dynamics of the Trump family and wonder if Tiffany might not be moving up the power rankings real soon? (She’s earned it!) We also ponder what happens to the Pepe’s now that all their gods are dead. (We suggest ritual suicide!) Our Sponsor this week is Tom’s Temps, when you need a forgettable person for an important job, try Tom’s Temps. We open the show a man who is curt with you because time is of the essence and close with the Ben Folds Five. Show Music: h

SHOW NOTES EPISODE 142: “Would I Lie To You Year In Review” It’s New Year’s Eve and Host Dave Bledsoe has already started drinking, though it’s after 11 AM on a Sunday so it’s unusual. On this special Year In Review Show, we count down the 12 Big Lies of 2017 (It was a HARD selection process.) Along the way, we riff on Casey Kasem, and provide some parenting tips from the 70’s (Do NOT use these today!) We talk Large Adult Sons and why Barack Obama ain’t got time for your shit. (He’s retired, leave the man alone.) FINALLY we unveil some long overdue updates to the show! (Sadly, same old Host). We think you will like them. (As much as you like ANYTHING on this show.) Our Sponsor this week is Duplicity, when you need to lie but can’t be caught lying, try Duplicity. We open the show with Jean Luc MacBeth and close with The Full Moon Band asking if they would lie you? (The seem honest to us.) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=urn_UTmffO8 Show Music:David Hyde Music https://soundcloud.com/davidhydemus

Show Notes Episode 93 “No Hope But Mount Hope” Redux Hello and welcome to the podcast that asks a simple question, when you just wrote a new intro to a rerun episode and hoped nobody would notice what the HELL were you thinking? I am your Host Dave Bledsoe and this is a Friday December 30th 2017 “No Hope But Mount Hope” redux edition of the show where we are taking the week off and rerunning the most downloaded episode of the show. Stay tuned. Hi podfriends, hope you had a very Murray Christmas (Murray) I saw Murray Christmas because until Trump leaves office I REFUSE to say Merry Christmas on principle and I kinda LOVE the name Murray. (Tuesdays With Murray) Since Gavin is back in the UK visiting his family...you all knew Gavin in English right? He used to work for the BBC before he was shitcanned for saying mean things about Prince Harry, tragic really. Our redux this week is Episode 93, originally aired January 20th of this year, and it is predicting that things might not be THAT bad under Presiden

Episode 141:  “Tuesdays With Morley” This week Host Dave Bledsoe opens his Christmas Stocking to find a carton of Morley’s and a bottle of generic whiskey.  Just what he asked for.   (We cannot WAIT!) Along the way we discuss the Deep State and the mystery surrounding the shadowy cabal of middle managers and career bureaucrats that REALLY run the government.  (Bill Lumbergh is the Master of Us All).  We are also DEEPLY shocked that Senators might create a black money Pentagon department that funnels money to a personal friend and campaign donor and tell no one about doing so!  (Shocked!)  There is even some math this week where we attempt to determine how fast going a mile second REALLY is, only find that while it’s impressive it’s actually not remotely out of the realm of what technology allows.  (Dude, seriously, it’s only 3,600 MPH, rockets do seven times that going into orbit!) Also, Blink 182?  Seriously? In the Wayback, we head to September 18th, 1947 and the formation of the Deep State! Our Sponsor

Episode 140: “One Moore For the Road” This week Host Dave Bledsoe is visited by three ghosts, only to find they are not ghosts but some dudes he owes money, and they hurt him really bad. On the show this week we talk about the Fall of Roy Moore and what that means for the future. (Hint: Actually, it’s really good for a change!) Along the way we ponder how to thank the Black Voters, particularly the Black Women of Alabama for saving our asses. (Flowers are nice!) We examine WHY Roy Moore really lost (It wasn’t media, it was the pedophilia.) and say really nice things about Doug Jones. (He taught us how to do the Dougie!) Our Sponsors this week are The Black Voters, who want to say you’re welcome but seriously, do something for us Democrats. We open the show with Roy preaching and close YouTube’s Steve Knechtges who is taking our drink orders. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlh8z8HlLNs Show Music: https://www.jamendo.com/track/421668/prelude-to-common-sense The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com

EPISODE 139: “Meandering Toward Mediocrity” This week Host Dave Bledsoe realizes he was born mediocre, then achieved mediocrity and had more mediocrity thrust upon him. On the show this week we ask if a little mediocrity is such a bad thing. (It’s certainly common enough.) Along the way we learn that Dave is not a disappointment to his parents. (They knew where he would wind up all along.) We assess the potential of most Americans and find the overwhelming majority of them not special. We spend a lot of time explaining why America the country is only So-So as far as nations go, and why we can never hold a candle to our colonial mother country. (I mean we can’t even occupy India!) We also clearly lay out how, culturally speaking, we will always operate at a deficit. (We are looking at Kardashians!) In our Wayback this week, we explain why it is a VERY bad idea for nation-states to believe they are better than other nations--and you KNOW who we are talking about! Our Sponsor this week is Average J

SHOW NOTES EPISODE 138: “Now You’re Just A Nazi That I Used to Know” This week Host Dave Bledsoe finds out he was almost Time’s Man of the Year but thought it would probably be a bad idea. On the show this week we talk about That Article in the Times were they made being a Nazi kind of like being a Rotarian. (Not that we are sure what Rotarians actually are.) Along the way we discuss the abomination of midichlorians, and the delusions of well meaning East Coast Liberals. (This is the future Liberals want.) We dive into what a Nazi sings at karaoke and why you should never go sing karaoke with a White Nationalist. (Way too much Lee Greenwood). There is also a pitch for reboot of “Guess Who's Coming to Dinner” with a 2017 twist! (Call us Netflix!) We also CLEARLY explain the difference between modern American Nazis and your classic Black and White Nazis. (Germany never had an X-Box.) Our sponsor this week is Airy Ann’s Air Purification, cleansing the stain of pollution in your home. We skip the Wayb

SHOW NOTES SPECIAL EDITION NINE; “Violations of the Neutral Zone” In this Special Edition of the Show Host Dave Bledsoe takes a break from his religious observances to get bitter about what might of have been. (Another failed DJ with a podcast!) On the show we talk Net Neutrality and why you should actually give a shit. (Hint: They are coming for your porn!) Along the way we defend our stand on Ajit Pai being a member of the Tal Shiar and remind you even people who aren’t White can been shitty too. We do a quick mini-Wayback to 1996 and the death of all that was good and decent on the airwaves. (We miss you Justin and Whitey! #RiseGuysForever) Finally we explain what YOU need to do save your porn, or anything else you value on the Internet. Get over to www.battleforthenet.com and DO SOMETHING! Our Sponsor is Fast Eddies Internet, the Internet just like you remember it: sloooooowwwww. We open the show with Captain Picard and close with YouTuber Gary Schutt https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pySrsDSUJw

SHOW NOTES EPISODE 137: “Call Me, Al” This week Host Dave Bledsoe remembers every awful thing he ever said to women and comes the realization his political career is probably over. (For SO many reasons.) On the show this week look at people whose political career is probably over and why they should just get the fuck out. (Aside from human decency, which they don’t have.) Along the way we examine ways you can get your ass kicked in a German nightclub. (Hint: Be Dave) and exciting methods for ruining the lives of your subordinates. (Sue Gavin, SUE!) We talk all the Congress Critters who never seem to face the music and wonder why. (Hint: Men control everything.) We also remind everyone the “Dirty Old Man” thing only works if you are literally months away from death. Our Wayback stops 1974 and a colorful Congressman’s girlfriend. Our Sponsor is Bum Guard, covering your ass from groping men. We open our show with him, Al Franken and close with YouTube’s Doug Edgell Band being our bodyguard and long

SHOW NOTES EPISODE 136: “With a Rebel Yell, They Cried Moore, Moore, Moore” This week Host Dave Bledsoe cracks open his High School Yearbook only discover wow, people REALLY didn’t like him! On the show this week we discover we REALLY don’t like Alabama Republicans! (Alabama Democrats and Independents are cool, except you could ease up on the football.) We then put on our hip waders and slog into the shitshow that is the life and political career of Roy Moore, alleged child molester and admitted asshole. (He really doesn’t hide it.) Along the way learn more about life in the rural South than we ever wanted to know, and some of us lived there. We also discover why a thirty-something man might want date a High School girl. (Hint: It’s in a Biblical Sense.) We also discover Alabama is rife with shitty politicians, possibly because Alabama is rife with shitty people. (Garbage in, garbage out.) In our Wayback this Week, we head back to 1987 around the time when Roy gave up High School girls for college