You Better Don't!

Why is it always Lisa's beloved and deceased grandparents who get molested in this podcast, and not Steven's? Also, Lisa had an AIDS scare at 19 and never had sex again.

Steven explains how the quality of Facebook birthday messages you receive can determine your ratio of friends to casual acquaintances. Meanwhile, Lisa bemoans her argument-inducing use of punctuation.

Would you shaddap if Batman told you to? How about Bjork? How about Steve Shehori pretending to be Bjork?

What would you do if you were trapped in a toilet? Steve retains his dignity and composure. Lisa keeps Steve's totally illegal arson a secret.

Lisa takes a nihilistic new catchphrase / mantra out for a spin. Then Steven gives her the gears for bringing up plants for the 9000th goddamned time. Bonus: Rihanna!

Steven and Lisa discuss the worst type of comedy club administrator there is, until Lisa spins out of control and sees only darkness everywhere. Bonus: shitty, shitty 'woke' fashion.

Lisa uncovers the downside to saving her precious pup's life. Steven then shares a story about taking his ex-girlfriend's dog to the vet, and it's pretty much the most effed up thing you've ever heard.

Lisa's nagging lands her in hot water; Steven investigates whether she has learned her lesson.

Lisa's adorable kid has some chilling things to say about her existence.

Steven jokingly -- yet convincingly -- suggests he's been dating Lisa's lovely Russian mom. Despite this thought experiment being Lisa's idea, it pretty much destroys her psyche.

Lisa and Steven kvetch about guided meditation, kids show mascots, and annoying voices.

Lisa and Steven pore over the barbarically alpha male world of gaming keyboards. Can you even CLICK, bro?! Bonus: this episode's final two minutes are absolutely lousy with Russians.

Lisa becomes one with the universe after transforming into a swimming pool reptile. Steven wholeheartedly welcomes this new life choice.

Lisa regales Steven about her outer space premonition dream. In return, Steven shares his own premonition dream that came true, and hoo boy, you don't even know, son.

Lisa grills Steven on the new Shehori Brothers DIY publicity book, Media Whore. Steven welcomes the free publicity because he's a media whore.

Lisa details how she methodically shuts down her husband's brain and un-potty trains her two-year-old.

Strange kitty shearings are afoot, and only West Virginia's finest can track down the clipper-wielding culprit. Unrelated bonus: The great Willie Nelson gets what's coming to him.

Lisa's gone solo in this week's episode to rip on Steven for the fact she's gone solo in this week's episode. Make sense?

Lisa and Steven delve nine years into the ol' archives to uncover their first attempt at a podcast. And as it turns out, their younger selves made some pretty bold predictions about the future.  

For their 100th episode, Lisa and Steven insert themselves into the decades-old Lynyrd Skynyrd / Neil Young feud.