You Better Don't!

Lisa interviews Steve Alten, author of The Meg.

Steve pulls rank as a whistling prodigy; Lisa was a terrible 2 month teenage goth.

Lisa's marriage gets an arrogant, sexy Han Solo boost; Steve wonders if Slayer wrote an ABBA song.

Lisa and Steve JOINT-ly app-ROACH HASH-ing out some unbe-WEED-able pot puns. Sorry.

Sparring with a mind as great as his own, Steven argues that with great naming power must come great naming ability; Lisa called her goldfish "Goldie."

A Toronto yarn store is but a facade for vegan militarism; Lisa Schwartzman investigates! With additional reporting from Steven Shehori and a dude from work.

Lisa encourages Steven to go solo in this week's episode, prompting him to yap about a couple of crazy brushes with fame.

In this uber-special edition of the podcast, Steven recounts to a live audience the time when, as a neurotic 11-year-old Jewish kid, his parents accidentally sent him to a fundamentalist Christian camp. Recorded at Theatre Palisades in Los Angeles.

Steve has bigger things to worry about than aliens taking our stuff; Lisa does not.

Lisa and Steven are both sick and grumpy plus Steven's new kitten is attacking him but whatever man how are you?

Should you walk on your wife's back when she asks you to? Steven and gravity say no.

Sometimes in life there comes a point when you simply need to rent a hockey goalie. Lisa and Steven conclude that 2018 -- and 1993 -- are two of those times.

Lisa and Steven try to figure out what the deal is with poker and musically progressive supermarkets.

Lisa gets triggered by a trigger warning; Steve rides the line between "nice guy" and "extreme wussy."

Lisa worries about Smurfette's dignity while Steven smurfs one out.

Lisa and Steven concede they're not as smart as they think they are. Of course, if they're not that smart, their assessment is probably wrong, which means they're actually super smart. Have you thought of that? No, you only think of yourself.

This Friday at 10pm ET, pop by www.facebook.com/youbetterdont to watch Lisa eat a giant preserved octopus on Facebook Live. This recording was supposed to be a 60-second promo, but Steven and Lisa apparently suck at making promos so now it's an entire freakin' 7-minute episode of the podcast.

Lisa offers YBD listeners a free t shirt. Steven suggests Lisa might totally die when she eats an octopus live on Facebook.

Hip hop Lisa throws down some sick Russian rhymes. Steven forgets the name of Lisa's kid.