School Of Schlock

What are you gonna do when you've got seven years in the slammer for a murder you didn't commit? Who will be there to help spring you from the joint? And what if that joint just so happens to be on a spaceship? These questions can only be answered by an exploitative 80s action film! Join Tom and Ryan as they mull these quandaries, as well as discussing underground metal bands, goofs on game shows, and Warhammer 40K! It's our intergalactic planetary discussion of Star Slammer!   Time stamps: 0:04:00 - Background 0:24:00 - Back-of-the-Box Summary 0:37:05 - Notable Scenes 0:46:15 - The Good 0:52:10 - The Bad 1:12:55 - The Ugly

To celebrate five glorious years of reviewing some of the worst films ever made, we are finally reviewing Tommy Wiseau's cult classic, a film so bad that it has become a mainstay of midnight screenings and has spawned countless memes online. Join Tom and Ryan as they subject themselves to this experience and talk about spoons, money-laundering, method-acting Olympians, and the perils of having friends. Tune in for our review of The Room! What a story, Mark!! Time stamps: 0:03:40 - Background 0:29:00 - Back-of-the-Box Summary 0:35:25 - A Special Note About "Good" Things in this Film 0:37:30 - Notable Scenes 0:45:35 - The Bad 0:58:10 - The Ugly

Everyone loves a good meeting! And whether it's Abbott and Costello Meet the Wolfman or the The Jetsons Meet the Flintstones, cinematic meetings also carry all the oomph and pizzazz of a work-related get-together. Join Tom and Ryan as they review and discuss one such meeting, as well as talking about putting capital over workers, bad line reads, and a hero who cries when someone disrespects the flag. All that and more can be found in our review of Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster!   Time stamps: 0:03:55 - Background 0:17:50 - Back-of-the-Box Summary 0:27:35 - Notable Scenes 0:39:00 - The Good 0:42:50 - The Bad 0:59:50 - The Ugly

Yub nub! Star Wars may conjur up images of epic battles, flying starships, and incredible Force powers, but it also brings to mind a group of cute, cuddly creatures: the Ewoks! Join Tom, Ryan, and special guest (and Star Wars expert) Greg to discuss one of the two Ewok-centered Star Wars movies. We also touch on related topics, like the Viet Cong, Lost, and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer! So put down your skin gliders and listen in to our review of Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure!   Time stamps: 0:04:20 - Background 0:40:25 - Back-of-the-Box Summary 0:45:10 - Notable Scenes 1:02:15 - The Good 1:12:35 - The Bad 1:29:50 - The Ugly

We've got another big fight on our hands! This time the combatants in this supernatural slugfest are an undead guardian of ancient treasures and a Frankensteinian cyborg! Join Tom and Ryan as they talk about epic fights, reused footage, forensic science, and getting rich via grave-robbing. It's our review of The Robot vs the Aztec Mummy!   Time stamps: 0:03:55 - Background 0:13:35 - Back-of-the-Box Summary 0:24:10 - Notable Scenes 0:28:40 - The Good 0:34:00 - The Bad 0:49:50 - The Ugly 0:56:00 - Listener Feedback

Zombification. Regeneration. Keeping parts alive after they've been severed from the body. These are some classic themes of the horror genre, and ideas that are all over this 1950s German flick. Join Tom and Ryan as they discuss horror tropes, German Expressionism, body-swapping, and nepotism in police departments! For at the head of all masterpieces of horror film review that you've ever heard, you must place our review of The Head! Time stamps: 0:02:55 - Background 0:12:20 - Back-of-the-Box Summary 0:27:55 - Notable Scenes 0:36:35 - The Good 0:45:25 - The Bad 1:01:30 - The Ugly

It's time to revisit the golden age of cinema for a 1940s comedy-adventure-horror! It's a movie that dares to make you laugh and tries to scare you with zombies and casual racism. Join Tom and Ryan as they discuss dated comedy, forgotten actors, and voodoo rituals (with a hint of druidic magic). Become one of the gang and listen to our review of King of the Zombies!   Time stamps: 0:07:20 - Background 0:30:20 - Back-of-the-Box Summary 0:38:20 - Notable Scenes 0:43:25 - The Good 0:48:55 - The Bad 0:55:05 - The Ugly

Let's travel back in time to when Hawaii wasn't a state and the Pacific Islands were mysterious to most (white) Americans! Two 1950s beefcakes are accused of murder and are stranded on a vaguely-Hawaiian island...what will they do to escape? Join Tom and Ryan as they discuss exploitation tourism, David Crosby, the Bahá'i Faith, and fingers pointing at maps. It's our review of the Roger Corman "classic," She-Gods of Shark Reef!   Time stamps: 0:06:05 - Background 0:17:40 - Back-of-the-Box Summary 0:22:40 - Notable Scenes 0:27:40 - The Good 0:32:45 - The Bad 0:42:30 - The Ugly

Iconic 80s action cinema is here! We finally take on a cult-classic that has become its own cultural touchstone with the immortal line: "There can be only one!" Listen in on the head-chopping action as Tom and Ryan discuss (anti-) climactic fights, votive candles, meta-humor, and Egyptian-Spanish-Scotsmen in Japan! It's our one-and-only review of The Highlander!   Time stamps: 0:03:20 - Background 0:18:05 - Back-of-the-Box Summary 0:32:55 - Notable Scenes 0:39:30 - The Good 0:44:40 - The Bad 1:01:15 - The Ugly

Nazis are all-time classic bad guys. Or at least all-time since World War 2. Regardless, everyone should be able to get behind destroying camps full of Nazi scum, and that's exactly what this corny action flick from 1987 indulges in! Join Tom and Ryan as they touch on relevant topics such as racism, James Bond, and Olympic volleyball players. Call over your best baboon sidekick and listen in to our review of The Order of the Black Eagle!   Time stamps: 0:03:20 - Background 0:18:05 - Back-of-the-Box Summary 0:32:55 - Notable Scenes 0:39:30 - The Good 0:44:40 - The Bad 1:01:15 - The Ugly

UFOs and aliens! Time travel and a nuclear apocalypse! Sound exciting? Well don't get your hopes too high, as we struggle to comprehend the plot of this particular 60s Italian film. Join Tom and Ryan as they discuss such important topics as Italian dialects, Pep Boys, women's magazines, and pinball machines! Tune in for our review of Star Pilot!   Time stamps: 0:04:05 - Background 0:14:45 - Back-of-the-Box Summary 0:23:10 - Notable Scenes 0:31:50 - The Good 0:37:20 - The Bad 0:48:10 - The Ugly

We have an accidental tradition here on the podcast of watching some of the worst films of all time early in the year. With this cheerleading exploitation horror film, it looks like 2021 is going to be no different! Join Tom and Ryan as they suffer through an almost unbearable movie while discussing pertinent topics like shitty disco music, voyeurism, and the Orcs from Warcraft II. It's our review of Satan's Cheerleaders! CW: Rape/Sexual Assault   Time stamps: 0:04:25 - Background 0:26:35 - Back-of-the-Box Summary 0:42:05 - Notable Scenes 0:52:00 - The Good 0:55:55 - The Bad 1:08:55 - The Ugly

"True Story" films aren't always as true as they claim to be, but something things have to be exaggerated and fictionalized for the sake of entertainment. And what could be more entertaining than Vlad the Impaler? Join Tom and Ryan as they discover the TRUEST story of the origins of Dracula by watching this period-piece drama all about good old Vlad. On the way they also discuss The Wire, charisma vacuums, and late-medieval influencers! It's our review of Dark Prince: The True Story of Dracula!   Time stamps: 0:03:45 - Background 0:19:00 - Back-of-the-Box Summary 0:41:50 - Notable Scenes 0:50:00 - The Good 0:55:10 - The Bad 1:06:00 - The Ugly

Thank goodness it's a new year! We give one last middle-finger back to 2020 as we give out our annual Schlocky Awards. Which characters were the outright worst? Which moments do we wish we could unsee? And what visuals ruined our movie-watching experiences? Find out in our annual Schlocky Awards for 2020!   Time Stamps: 0:05:05 - Film List & Lifetime Achievement Discussion 0:10:22 - Worst Character 0:56:40 - Worst Moment or Line 1:33:00 - Worst Visual 1:40:05 - Best Moment 1:52:55 - The 10 Worst Films of the Year

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! It's another yuletide treat straight from our friends at the Lifetime Channel. This time we follow a street-smart city gal and the uptight agent assigned to protect her as they discover the heart of Christmas...and their love for each other! Settle in by the fire as we talk about romance, frosted tips, ugly sweaters, and turning state's evidence. It's our review of Undercover Christmas!   Time stamps: 0:03:45 - Background 0:16:25 - Back-of-the-Box Summary 0:25:25 - Notable Scenes 0:38:55 - The Good 0:48:35 - The Bad 1:03:30 - The Ugly

Where do you go when you need radioactive materials in the post-apocalypse? Look no further than Captain Strike, AKA Rage, a wasteland survivor with muscle, smarts, and a too-tight tank-top! Listen in as Tom and Ryan discuss a film that features strange soundtrack choices, inappropriate clothing, and The Bible. It's our review of the Italian action schlock film, A Man Called Rage!   Time stamps: 0:03:22 - Back-of-the-Box Summary 0:13:15 - Background 0:20:35 - Notable Scenes 0:33:20 - The Good 0:37:00 - The Bad 0:53:52 - The Ugly

We're back to looking at another modern Hollywood blockbuster that failed to live up to expectations! This time, a steampunk adventure turns out to be Sean Connery's final film role. Join Tom, Ryan, and special guest Sami as they delve into such important topics such as how a film falls apart, what not to do with your female characters, and what audiences are looking for in supergroup team-ups. It's our feature-length mega-review of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen! Time stamps: 0:04:35 - Background 0:37:23 - Back-of-the-Box Summary 0:41:50 - Notable Scenes 1:02:00 - The Good 1:12:27 - The Bad 1:29:23 - The Ugly

Sci-fi films aren't always focused on alien invasions or robotic uprisings. Sometimes the best sci-fi conflicts can be found in unlikely places: for example, Senate subcommittees! Join Tom and Ryan as they watch a film that dares to ask about the practicality of funding an earth-orbiting space station. Along the way, they'll talk about shaky cameras, scientific jargon, and Aaron Sorkin. So tune in for our review of Destination Space!   Time stamps: 0:03:00 - Background 0:20:10 - Back-of-the-Box Summary 0:26:00 - Notable Scenes 0:41:30 - The Good 0:49:10 - The Bad 1:00:30 - The Ugly

Every great filmmaker has to start somewhere, and many make their first marks in low-budget B-movies. Here we have proof that even icons like Francis Ford Coppola aren't immune from a B-movie backlog in their filmography. Join Tom, Ryan, and special guest George Heftler from the Best Little Horror House in Philly podcast for an #AllTheHorror special collaboration where we talk about sequels, missed opportunities, and Wes Anderson! It's our review of Dementia 13!   Time stamps: 0:06:30 - Background 0:31:20 - Back-of-the-Box Summary 0:39:35 - Guest Introduction 0:42:00 - Notable Scenes 1:00:40 - The Good 1:08:35 - The Bad 1:14:45 - The Ugly

Can any recent blockbusters really be said to be "B-movies?" We sure think so, as we turn to a Tom Cruise vehicle from 2017 to see just how bad blockbusters can be. A mummy is trying to resurrect an Egyptian god in this failed Dark Universe reboot. Join Tom, Ryan, and special guest Mike as they discuss all the important aspects of this film, including Russell Crowe's voice-overs, dramatic versions of The Monster Mash, and Jack Black erotica. It's our review of the latest version of The Mummy!   Time stamps: 0:04:08 - Background 0:24:48 - Back-of-the-Box Summary 0:34:35 - Notable Scenes 0:49:01 - The Good 0:59:30 - The Bad 1:12:24 - The Ugly