Ross O'carroll-kelly @ The Irish Times

He smiles with the same smile he uses when choosing his lobster in Cavistons by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

These apartments will be so small, there won’t be room for two people to break wind by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

These are going to be our Family Date Nights by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Has she been drinking or is she still pissed from last night? by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

I just don’t consider it a sport. It’s like watching CCTV footage of a fight by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

You look like something Dr Marie Cassidy should be going at with rubber gloves and a bone saw by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

I actually love women. If that makes me a feminist, then so be it. by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Christmas is a time of year when, er… you get loads of stuff by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

I’m the porty spokesperson on Gender Issues by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Ross, we need to take Pang to the Beacon – right now by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

My son’s nickname is Manslaughter. by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sorcha hasn't touched her chicken by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

“Ireland won alright. Which means we’re into the semi-finals of the World Cup!” by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

“A lot of children are just born that way – they’re d**kheads.” by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

I’m there, “Pang, give me those cigarettes.” She goes, “Get away from me, you racist!” by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

If you can do it on the upper deck of a no 40 bus by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

‘If you bought a gaff in Tenerife, they'd say they bought one in Elevenerife’ by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

I should report you – underfloor heating is a human right by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Seedless in Seattle Extract Five by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Seedless in Seattle Extract Four by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.