Transforming Monday

In this world of information overload, where everything is at our fingertips, our desire for instant gratification often impedes our path to personal growth. Personal growth is a life-long journey that takes patience, discipline, awareness, and constant focus.

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny. - Lao Tzu” The language we use creates our reality. There are 5 words in particular that create a dull, drab reality that is guaranteed to lead to a life of regret. Listen to this episode to learn what those 5 words are and what two phrases you can immediately replace them with to start creating massive change and the life you always "wanted".

Nobody likes to be criticized. Nobody. However, if you have relationships with people who hold you accountable, then criticism is an inevitable part of that relationship's dialogue. Tonight we focus not on how to deliver criticism (that'll be in a future episode), but on how to receive and accept criticism without nuking the relationship. There are 3 simple things you can do to be better at accepting criticism AND ensure the integrity of the relationship stays strong. Listen in to find out what they are.

Yes, that time of year is once again upon us...the beginning of the holiday season. It's that time of year where we are easily overwhelmed with all we have to do, and easily stressed because of...oh, so many reasons. Tonight we talk about the two types of people: Kairos (event/moment/relationship) oriented people Chronos (linear time/Type A) oriented people. Being a chronos oriented person, it's easy to get overwhelmed when the schedule gets full and when schedules aren't kept. Kairos people can let time get away because they're more 'in the moment' and end up stressed because they're confused as to where the time went. Listen to how Charlotte (kairos) and I (chronos) work on balancing the two when things get crazy. Find out how we set schedules, say no, don't commit to things we can't do, and how we keep our schedules open to allow for spontaneity in a season where free time can be a luxury.

We've often talked about how relationships can be strained, particularly when you're on a journey of personal growth. Others don't understand you, they're confused as to why you're not the same person they've always known, and perhaps they're taken aback by your new-found confidence.... ...and this can strain, and even break, long-standing relationships. Particularly with those closest to you. What do you do when you want to see about healing those relationships? You can't go back to the way things were...yet you're unsure about how to proceed. Honesty....and honest communication without judgement...are the keys to taking those first steps. Listen to this episode to find out how relationships can be healed, whether you're the one hurt or the one who did the hurting.

Rumors and the Damage Done Hey Rockstars! In our lives, we've all either been subject of or have even spread rumors.  They've either hurt us or given us a sense of power and belonging by "knowing" some juicy bit of information about someone else. Problem is, rumors are often false information.  They're based on one person's observation without fact-checking that observation with the subject of the rumor. Listen to tonight's episode to find out: the major reasons rumors get spread how to combat rumors how to quench rumors with one simple question   Tonight's Sponsor: ATransformedYou.Com - Join my team and transform your life, your health, and your financial situation all for about $3 a day. Remember... It is what it is....and the next stop is truly anywhere you decide it to be.

Quitters Never Win Nobody ever reached their own personal finish line by quitting half way through the race.   No seed ever sprouted without being watered and cared for. Your dreams are the same way. In order to make your life "all killer, no filler", you must be willing to do the impossible.  You've got to face failure and not let it beat you.  You've got to be so determined to get what you want out of life, that it's as necessary as breathing. You must also have patience.  Success doesn't happen overnight.  It's the culmination of the blood, sweat, and tears you put into making things happen. On this episode, we discuss facing failure, why visualization without action is a waste of time, and the importance of never...NEVER giving up. Tonight's sponsor: ATransformedYou.com - Want to explode all areas of your life for less than the cost of a Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte a day?  Visit A Transformed You to find out how.

Everyone Has A Story From the beginning of time, stories have been at the center of the human experience.  Even before man could talk we've shared stories.  Cave paintings, fables, parables, art, song...all of these and so many more allow us to express our unique stories in unique ways. Your story is just as unique as you are yet parts of your story are the stories of thousands of other people.  Your challenges, your successes, your failures...they make you uniquely you yet allow you to connect with others. What's your story?  For every person that shares their story, there are hundreds more who wish they had half the courage as the one sharing their story. You owe it to the world to share your story. Today's sponsor: The MMB60 Total Transformation Program.  Give us 60 days and we'll totally transform your health, your life, and your financial situation.  Click this link for more information, connect with me, and join my team. As always, connect with us on Twitter or Facebook and be sure to visit Transforming

In a recent post on the Transforming Monday Blog, I talked about "honesty without compassion".  This is when we communicate bluntly using phrases like: I’m just being honest. I just say it like it is. You know me… I’m blunt. ...or the #1 answer... "I was just trying to help!" The problem when we communicate these statements without compassion is that we often end up offending and insulting the person we're communicating with.  We invalidate what they are feeling because these phrases are interpreted as "I'm right, you're wrong". If we're going to communicate effectively, especially in difficult circumstances, then rapport building is a skill that needs to be learned. Building rapport allows us to connect with the other person, getting past the outer defenses we all have, and allows us to communicate more effectively. On this episode, Charlotte from Moms With A Passion, again joins me as we discuss the importance of building rapport so that we can gain permission to communicate and, at the same time, underst

Finding that reason, that "Why", that drives you to change some facets of your life is what every motivational and inspirational speaker, book, seminar, etc., tells you is absolutely vital to changing your life. It's true. Most people find a "why" that only interests them in making changes. They'll read a book, watch a movie, attend a seminar, and then inevitably fade back into their boring, ho-hum, average life. Why? Their life doesn't suck enough to force them to dig deep and find that "why" that pushes them to from interested to committed. Finding the right "why" is the difference between "I'd like to" and "I have to". The right why develops a sense of urgency, of desperation, that that thing in your life has to change. Reflecting on the last 12 months, in which I made some Earth shaking life changes, I realized for years my 'why' was a wimpy why and that's why my life was miserable. It wasn't until things got more painful than the pain of changing my life did I become committed to making changes.

You work hard, taking on new challenges to prove yourself, demonstrating your skill, your talent, your ability to perform at a higher level than anyone else around you and then one day it happens... ...you look around and realize your life is completely out of balance and you're nowhere near your ultimate outcome and you couldn't find the path with a flashlight and a 6 man searching party. You've become a prisoner of your own success. Trapped at a stop along the way because of how awesome you are. Listen to this episode and hear how a 30 minute meeting with John Terhune made me realize how I've become a prisoner of my own success and what I, and you, can do to break free from those chains. John Terhune's Attitude Pump: http://www.attitudepump.com/page/page/8819016.htm Transformation Radio is sponsored by http://atransformedyou.com

People say "The grass is greener on the other side"...and it is. It's greener for one of two reasons: 1) It's been well fertilized in manure -or- 2) It's been well taken care of, manicured, weeded, and loved. Most people spend their lives running away from things... from bad jobs, from bad boyfriends/girlfriends, etc. They run away to greener grass because they're attracted to the smell of the manure. Whether it's a new car, new job, new city, new relationship... if you're running away from what you have, you're being pulled by the smell of crap and, well, you'll end up smelling like manure. If you have a concrete vision of what your life to be like, you're running towards something...and the greener grass will be all yours and, honestly, the envy of the neighborhood.

Standards are one thing...expectations are another. You can't walk into your job expecting everyone to recognize your genius. You can't expect others to do things the way you would. You can't expect others to process information or communicate the way you would. If you do, you're being unfair to them. It's as if you're telling them the way they think, communicate, and live isn't good enough... Do you have unrealistic expectations of others? Of yourself? Don't set yourself up for disappointment and failure by creating expectations of failure, of worry, of stress, or are just simply unrealistic.

Being perfect, or feeling the need to be perfect, is something that plagues all of us. For me, it began in 2nd grade and was a limiting belief I killed within the last few years. Additionally, mix Sheldon, Leonard, and Raj in a blender, and that was me. Feeling like one has to be perfect kills the dreams of the crazy ones, the freaks and weirdos that change the world. This week's sponsor is http://atransformedyou.com

Do you not care what other people think...or not care what other people think? Believe it or not, there really is a difference. One is not allowing others' opinions to run your life, while the other is a narcissistic, egotistical dismissal of other peoples' opinions. Learning to strike the balance between the two is essential for healthy growth, healthy relationships, and a healthy you. As always, Transforming Monday is sponsored by http://atransformedyou.com.

So, you think that raise, that promotion, that new job will be the thing that makes your life pitch perfect. Before too long, though, you're sitting at your desk at the end of a long week asking yourself "What the hell did I get myself into?" and "How in the hell did this happen?" Yep, we've all been there. Some of us numerous times. Listen and learn how to distinguish between building a career and building a life, why one can easily overtake and destroy the other, and how to prevent your tombstone from saying "I wish I spent more time at the office".

Everyone hates this interview question... mostly because they haven't given any thought to what they want their life to look like beyond getting the job they're applying for. However, this question holds the key to finding the path you need to travel. Defining the life you want, down to the most minute of details, exposes the path you need to travel. It enlightens you on what skills you may need to learn, the types of people you need to network with, and, honestly, motivates you to get off your ass and move in the direction you want to go.

It's inevitable that along your journey to becoming the you you want to be and creating the life you want to live, you're going to run into haters. Haters are those who tell you you're fooling yourself, you're an idiot, you can't do it... they're bound and determined to drag you back down to their level. Turn that Hater-ade into fuel to push you even higher. Use their words to motivate you whenever things are tough and you're feeling like giving up. It'll be sure to give you that kick in the pants just when you need it.

Most people fail in setting outcomes and milestones because they set them too big, and never make it, or too small and they aren't motivated. Find that sweet spot of achievable, challenging, and rewarding milestones to meet along the path towards your big, audacious goal and you'll be amazed how easy the road will be.

Fear stops us from asking for what we want and going after what we truly desire. Fear creates those presuppositions, those movies in our head of a future that hasn't come yet. Fear causes us to make excuses. Fear makes us comfortable and forces us to settle. Find out how the three words "...and then what?" can shift your thinking and smash those excuses and fears that hold you back.