Over It And On With It

This episode is transforming nervous habits and meeting unmet needs. Today’s caller, Morgan, has a big part of herself that she wants to change. Her needs in childhood were unmet by her mother and she created a nervous behavior as a coping strategy. If you bite your nails, pick your skin around your fingers, pull apart split ends, or any other nervous habit you would like to transform, this episode will help.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode336]   Understanding the why behind a behavior doesn’t make it go away. We need to remember that a nervous behavior is a physiological manifestation of an emotion. It is an alarm system that alerts us that a need that wasn’t met in childhood is still not being met. When we have a nervous habit, it is telling us that we are trying to calm or suppress something.   Needs, especially in childhood, are real and important. If certain needs aren’t met at certain stages in life, it hinders who we are as adults. It doesn’t break us but it does impact us. The

Dr. Thema Bryantis a clinical psychologist and president-elect of the American Psychological Association. She is also a professor of psychology at Pepperdine University and an ordained minister in the African Methodist Episcopal Church. With more than twenty years of experience in trauma recovery, she has appeared as a mental health expert on television, radio, and print media. Dr. Thema raises awareness about mental health issues on The Homecoming Podcast and her social media platforms.   Her new book  HOMECOMING: Overcome Fear and Trauma to Reclaim Your Whole, Authentic Self is road map for dismantling the fear and shame that keep you from living a free and authentic life.   Learn more here: https://drthema.com/

This episode is about loving and accepting all parts of ourselves, even the ones that challenge us. Today’s caller, Odeta, struggles with her attachment to wanting to change a critical part of herself. The judgment and attachment are what is preventing her from being able to shift it. Any part of ourselves we judge or shame or anything we attach ourselves to shifting just holds on stronger.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode335]   Self-love is not a state of being where we are in complete unconditional love with ourselves all the time or we love all parts of ourselves all the time or we never get triggered. Maybe there are some people on the planet who live that way, but they are few and far between. No matter how much work we do, we are still human. We still have parts that maybe we don’t like very much; maybe our inner critic comes up. Self-love is the same to me as self-assurance. It is radical self-acceptance. It is accepting all parts of us, even the ones we want to change.   For al

Do you want to learn more about that voice in your head? Then you'll love this episode.  Ethan Kross, PhD, is one of the world's leading experts on controlling the conscious mind. An award-winning professor at the University of Michigan and the Ross School of Business, he is the director of the Emotion & Self Control Laboratory. He has participated in policy discussion at the White House and has been interviewed on CBS EveningNews, Good Morning America, Anderson Cooper Full Circle,and NPR's Morning Edition. He is the bestselling author of CHATTER: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It

This episode is about shared values and looking at the part we play in the relationship. Today’s caller, Sarah, feels she is at the end of her rope in her relationship and is not sure if she should stay in it or go. The discussion revolves around the different circumstances in her relationship and what we get to is that there is just not enough information yet. If you find yourself at a choice point in your life and are struggling with what to do, either you need more time, or you know the right path and you are resisting taking it.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode334]   Many people ask if they should stay or go. Whether it is a relationship, job, or city it can be very difficult to make a decision. If the answer isn’t clear, it means one of two things, either the answer is clear but we don’t like it so we try to make it work. Or, we just don’t have enough clarity about it. In which case, it may not be the right time to make a yes-or-no decision.   For a relationship to be successful,

You are going to love this episode with Britt Frank who is a therapist, teacher, speaker, and trauma specialist who is committed to dismantling the mental health myths that keep us feeling STUCK and SICK. We talk about how to heal trauma, myths the wellness industry perpetuates, why you are NOT broken and so many other juicy topics! Brit's work focuses on empowering people to understand the inner mechanisms of their brains and bodies. When we know how things work, the capacity for CHOICE is restored and life can and does change. Whether she’s leading a workshop, teaching a class, or working individually with private clients, Britt’s goal is to educate, empower, and equip people to transform even their most persistent and long-standing patterns of thinking and doing. Britt is also the author of the upcoming book The Science of Stuck—available March 15th wherever books are sold. It’s a research-based tool kit for moving past what's holding you back—in life, in love, and in work. Learn more here: www.thegreenhou

This episode is about the dangers of sweeping things under the rug in relationships. Today’s caller, Angela, is looking for clarity about why she is frustrated and triggered in her family relationships. We discuss ways she can speak her truth with love, use her voice, and stand in her power in her relationships and her life. She brushes things under the rug. If you identify with being a people pleaser, someone who prefers to avoid conflict, or shrug things off when they happen but internalize it later this is a great session for you.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode333]   When we don’t stand in our power in our lives, we can’t stand in our power in relationships. Standing in our power can also be said as standing in our empowerment. Sometimes the word power can sound oppressive as if we are not being compassionate, or being selfish. But that is not really what standing in our empowerment means. It’s about being in our truth.   If your truth upsets someone, it is not your responsibility

So many of us are trapped in a never-ending to-do list, looking for the next solution to make us more efficient. But often what we’re left with is feeling inadequate, overwhelmed, burnt out and alone. Madeleine Dore is a writer and interviewer who explores how we can broaden the definition of a day well spent, through regular life experiments and events to examine how creativity isn’t just something we do, but how we approach our lives. Madeleine spent five years looking for the secret to productivity, only to find there isn’t one. Instead, she reveals, we’re being set up to fail. Her new book, I Didn’t Do The Thing Today, encourages us to say no to more time management techniques and yes to the joyful messiness and unpredictability of life  Dore has been asking creative thinkers how they navigate their days on her popular blog Extraordinary Routines and podcast Routines & Ruts. She regularly conducts life experiments and hosts events to examine how creativity isn’t just something we do, but how we approa

This episode is about making self-honoring choices that empower us. Today’s caller, Jade, wants to break the cycle of being in broken and toxic relationships. We work through helping her connect the dots of needing validation from her current relationships to being disempowered by her mother when she was a child and guidance on how she can break the cycle.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode332]   On-and-off-again relationships are a huge red flag. Some relationships need a break where both people can take time apart and work on themselves individually. When they come back together they decide to work through future conflicts together or that the relationship is not working and dissolve it. But, an on-again-off-again relationship demonstrates that the issues in the relationship are not being dealt with. It is a ping-ponging cycle of neither partner changing. If you are in an on-again-off-again cycle I invite you to turn it off for good.   If you are in a toxic or on-again-off-again relati

This episode is about healing wounds, feminine or masculine. Today’s caller, Emily, wants to heal her sister wound. She has struggled with feeling judged or rejected by other women and fears being vulnerable with them. She would like guidance on how to make new female connections without being anxious. Anyone who may have wounds from their past when it comes to belonging will benefit from listening to this session.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode331]   When we are teased, bullied, or have a strict, oppressive, or critical parent we develop an inner critic. Our inner critic can be much worse to us than the original offender was. Because we think if we are harder on ourselves than they were to us we will be more equipped to handle the adversity and pain. We believe it will hurt less when others do it. But, when we have a fierce inner critic it is impossible to be authentically ourselves.   When it comes to making friends and being vulnerable we have to dim down the voice of our inner cr

Teri Cochrane is the founder of the Global Sustainable Health Institute® and an international thought leader in longevity. Through her decades of clinical work, Teri has developed The Cochrane Method®, a future-facing, multisystem health and longevity model. This model examines the intersection of genetic expression due to pathogenic and environmental causes, energy, and her clients’ unique personal blueprint. Teri specializes in solutions to complex health conditions and serves world class athletes. She is the author of the Amazon best-selling new release book, The Wildatarian Diet: Living As Nature Intended.

This episode is about having a pattern of needing to be in a relationship and feeling like something is missing if you don’t have a person. Today’s caller, Lee, has a lot of awareness, but something is missing, and that is being able to access and release his anger. We work through how to release his anger, grieve his childhood, and step into his power.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode330]   If we grow up in a household with a lot of anger, we think all anger is that way. Yet, anger itself is not bad. It is what we do with anger that can be harmful to ourselves or others. Anger projected onto others through words, yelling, abuse, or violation is unhealthy and dark. Anger directed inward such as being hard on yourself, having a bad inner critic, or self-harming is also unhealthy anger. Yet, anger itself is a natural human emotion.   If we get our anger out in a safe way we show up more grounded and more present. We become calmer. Remember, we never want to direct our anger at someone an

Christine leads you through part two of her annual new year’s ritual and guides you through a meditation / visualization to consciously call in 2022. You can access the breathwork and meditation series Stef and Christine created and get a holiday discount using code HOLIDAY at https://christinehassler.com/breathwork/

This episode is about discerning intuition from fear-based thoughts. Today’s caller, Tamy, doubts herself and uses constant learning as a compensatory strategy when she may not have fully integrated the information she has already gathered. If you have ever wondered if your feelings are fear-based or truly your intuition, or struggle with self-doubt, this is a great session to tune into.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode329]   We often try to compensate for our self-doubts by people-pleasing, caretaking, obsessing about how we look, or being on a constant train of achieving or learning. Too much learning can be compensation for where we feel self-doubt.   You can be in radical self-acceptance or confidence, and still know there are things you are practicing and integrating.   When we truly listen to our intuition and when we are on track with our personal development work, we stay aligned. We won’t get on an ego-driven path. Ego-based success and compensatory success are houses of cards

Welcome to my annual two-part ritual to complete this year and step forward into the next with intention!  In this episode, I guide you through a step-by-step process to complete 2021 with awareness and intention and let it go! And stay tuned for next week's episode where I offer you a process to receive 2022. I record these fresh every year so be sure to tune in even if you are familiar with the process :)

This episode is about prioritizing ourselves and our children. Today’s caller, Aprisa, is a single mother who looks to others to get her needs met. She had a traumatic childhood and has not yet healed her inner child wounding. We also discuss depression and how highly-sensitive people have more proclivity to depression because feeling big emotions can feel scary.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode328]   With single parents, the rightful roles of parent and child can get a little murky. It is important not to hide our emotions from our children. It is okay for them to see us sad or angry but we want to make sure they know it is not their responsibility. Sadness doesn't last forever but it is important to feel it because when we hold down our emotions they get stuck.    What often happens with people who are depressed is that they don't know what to do with their big feelings. They end up being distant, irritable, or sad. When what they need to get at is their anger, rage, grief, shame, an

Another dear friend of mine joins me on the podcast today to discuss how to tap into and trust your intuition, the importance of leaving unhealthy relationships and the magic and power of animals. Alyson Charles is a shaman and spiritual teacher who is devoted to living by the calls of inner wisdom, mysticism, energy medicine, and shamanic practices she has mastered through her studies with spiritual teachers, both of and beyond this world. She leads global courses, events, and talks to reconnect people to their fullest power and confidence through sacred practices and rituals. Alyson's power animal shamanic journey was named a top meditation to try by O, The Oprah Magazine, and she has collaborated with a range of media outlets and brands, including the New York Times, HBO, National Geographic, Well + Good, mindbodygreen, Forbes, Elle, and Self.   You can pre-order her beautiful new book here: https://www.alysoncharles.com/animalpower

This episode is about making self-honoring choices without feeling selfish. Today’s caller, Pooja, has a beautiful relationship with her parents but is torn between pursuing her dream of being a life coach and staying in the U.S. or moving home to be closer to her aging parents who miss her. This episode will help you to get out of limbo and make decisions that feel selfish.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode327]   We want to make choices that are aligned with us versus a “should.” Choices made from “should” create a higher likelihood of resentment. We either end up resenting the people who pulled us to make the choice or we resent ourselves for making the choice because we feel like we betrayed and abandoned ourselves, which is never a good situation.   Whenever you feel the pull of both duty and desire, ask yourself what the most self-honoring choice is, because when we make the most self-honoring choice we are less likely to feel resentment later. We show up more authentically in our

This episode is incredibly educational when it comes to our attachment styles.  I talk with licensed psychotherapist Ellen Boeder about how attachment styles are formed, how they impact our adult relationships, and what we can do to heal them so we can have more secure attachments. A little more about Ellen . . . She has been a therapist since 2003.  She has a strong background in yoga and meditation, and her graduate training in Transpersonal Psychology also deeply inform her work.  Since getting married 12 years ago, and becoming a mother to two children, Ellen transitioned from working primarily with women to focusing on couples.  Ellen is trained in PACT, a therapeutic modality for couples founded by Stan Tatkin, PsyD., that synthesizes attachment theory, neuroscience, and affect regulation models to support couples in creating an enduring and nourishing relationship through secure functioning. In addition to maintaining a part time private practice, Ellen is on faculty for the Relationship School—a busin

This episode is about setting healthy boundaries and speaking our truth. Today’s caller, Nicole, grew up in an unhealthy family dynamic. Her grandmother didn’t accept her family and tried to split them up. She wants to be at peace with the situation but has not yet dealt with her anger. During the holidays, if you are the one who is breaking generational patterns, you may be called selfish or righteous. It can be a difficult place to be put in. But, I encourage you to stand in your truth.   [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode326]   So many families use guilt and obligation to get people to do things. If you don’t play into it then you may be told you are uncaring or disappointing. But, remember, guilt and obligation are not love. Just because you say no or have a boundary does not mean you do not love your family; it just means you are not playing into the unhealthy family dynamic.   Love itself is unconditional. You can love your family and have compassion for them but relationships are no