Like A Mother

Nothing breaks my heart more than a woman who cannot be without a man. That personality is always rife with desperation, bad decisions and alienating others who love her best. Never a good look. Even if you are not prone to dramatics of partnering up ASAP, you may feel like a loser because you are not in a relationship. It is normal to feel sad and lonely if you don't have a boy- or girlfriend. (It can also feel horny, but that is a slightly different topic — don't get those confused!)  In this episode I share why being single is such an incredible opportunity you should not squander. It doesn't have to be forever, but if you couple-up right away, you miss out on so many opportunities for personal growth, new adventure, learning so much about yourself, others around you, and what your next relationship might be.

Often women say they need to earn enough to cover child care costs. That hold women back individually, and keeps the pay gap alive and well.  Child care if for both parents to work and earn, develop their careers and reap the fruits of work.

Thinking about dating after divorce and babies can be beyond daunting. After I stopped nursing (a blissful period during which my round hips narrowed, my small tits swelled, and my acne-prone skin cleared  and glowed), it has been all downhill for this bod. A newly poofy stomach, C-section scar and boobs that would not stop lactating -- all while my thighs grew increasingly gooey. But once out on the dating scene, I got over it quickly. That I don't look like Heidi Klum or Kim Kardashian (that butt, I mean, really) has zero to do with my ability to find really amazing sex (keep reading) and love. And what your body has absolutely nothing to do with your ability find a man to adore your body during mind-blowing sex. No matter what said body may look like.

Shared parenting is a critical issue for children, who suffer from absentee fathers in alarming figures, as well as men, who are automatically reduced to paychecks and an afterthought in family life. Shared parenting is critical for women, too, as involved co-parents, both inside and outside of marriage, mean women have far more support at home, which allows us to thrive as parents, as well as professionals and earners. After all, we can’t be equals at work, if men are not equals at home.  

Tiffany Horsely is a Kansas nurse, mom of three, and she has no shame about sharing that her ex husband molested and raped for more than four years their oldest daughter, Robyn. At age 17, depressed and despondent, Robyn found the courage to tell her friend, and eventually her mom, and the police the truth. Together they went through the horror that sexual assault trials are known to be, the loss of a father, and marriage, and pushed forward through grief and on to healing. What's more, soon after the ordeal, Robyn turned to social media to publicaly share her story, with her mom at her side. By owning her truth, she freed herself — and others — from the shame of secrets. What is special about Robyn and Tiffany is that they are funny. Without diminishing the gravity of the trauma of their history, they have found ways to laugh at themselves and life — snapping a selfie from the back of the patrol car as they were escorted to the police station to file a rape report, Tiffany joking that she does pay alimony to

  Wow, this interview was so, so amazing.  Regena Thomashauser, aka Mama Gena, is truly a renegade pioneer of feminism and female sexuality (is that redundant?). Through her in-person and online workshops called Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts, and books by the same name, including (to-be-released in September) Pussy: A Reclamation, Thomashauser offers a fascinating history on the power of female sensuality and sexuality, biology lessons on female anatomy and the possibilities (and fruits of) hours-long orgasms. Most critically, Mama Gena shares advice on how women today can reclaim and master the power of their own sensualities — something no one I know of is doing. In this awesome interview, Mama Gena shares with me: Why "pussy" (and not vagina, vulva, yoo-hoo, or ... like my friend grew up calling her, 'chicken') and what that word really, truly means. The urgent need for for women everywhere to prioritize the learning of what pleases their every senses — a practice that guarantees  attracting the bigg

The holidays are so hard for divorced and separated families. They just are. Especially if you are new to sharing the kids on the holidays. You are grieving what you thought your family would look like. What you hoped and expected your family would look like. And so much of that image is wrapped up in special occasions like holidays — holidays informed by magazines, movies, Hallmark and William Sonoma ads — not to mention social media and your own memories from your childhood (whether you hoped to replicate good times, or deviate from bad ones). Now your family looks different and it sucks. No matter how you dice it, it is ugly. If you’re negotiating holiday schedules for this season, or are in custody negotiations,  here is my one piece of advice for you this year, and years going forward: LET IT GO. GIVE HIM THE HOLIDAYS.

For the past 10 years Free-Range Kids' Lenore Skenazy,  New York City journalist and mom of two, has been taking one for the team. The Free-Range Kids author and blog founder has been on a one-woman mission to give kids back the freedom and autonomy they need to grow into self-actualized adults. I can't get enough of every single thing she has to say, including stats like: Crime is back to the level it was when gas cost 29 cents a gallon, says the Christian Science Monitor. Crime is back to the level it was before color TV, says The Week magazine. 2013 gun crime rate back to level of early 1960s, says Pew Study. 2014 violent crime rate down another4.4%, says USA Today. Pedestrian, bicyclist and car deaths ALSO at lowest rate in decades, says The Council on Foreign Relations. And here’s an overall report on crime over the last 25 years, which includes the graph below: Brennan Center for Justice at NYU Law School All violent crime in the U.S.: Down  48% 1993 – 2012 All homicides: Down 50.5% 1993-2012 Forci

  I chose this month's grant winner because her mission is so very apropos of this chapter of women's empowerment. The Harvey Weinstein accusers, and the web of silent compliance around this powerful man is really just the result of millennia of women's pent up silent suffering, marginalization, and separation from their sexual power. Weinstein is just the tip of this iceberg, and it is a painful process for the change that must — and is — happening.  I have had some private conversations with feminist women I know, and in these shared #metoos and pride in the victims' bravery in coming forward, we ask ourselves: How do we raise our daughters to have a different experience? And more to the point: How can we talk about empowering women, without victim shaming? Which is exactly why I was drawn to Vanessa Osage's work. Vanessa is a Bellingham, Wash., sexuality educator with her consulting business, and nonprofit, Rooted Emerging. Pay attention, there. She teaches young people about sexuality, expressing and shar

  This interview is a from the archives, and my admiration for Tiffany Aliche grows. We have become friends and she recently hosted me in her Live Richer Academy, which is part of her seven-figure business that has grown to include more than 300,000 women. I am constantly inspired by Aliche's passion, business brilliance and true activism to change the world.  +++ Man, I love Tiffany "The Budgetnista" Aliche. The financial educator was really really ticked off that the financial industry ignored people of color -- especially women. She looked around and saw countless brilliant, successful doctors, lawyers, architects and MBAs -- who were in debt and with little financial literacy or foundation. In this hilarious and inspiring interview, Aliche tells me how she set out to change that. Within a single year, Aliche recruited nearly 20,000 women of color into her Live Richer Challenge, a free program and community that helps members take control of their finances. To date, the challenge participants collectively

  Women are really bad about investing. Statistically, we are less likely to invest, and more likely to invest less than we should. While there are some great studies that show that women are actually BETTER at investing than men, we still have a long way to go. In this Like a Mother episode, my single mom entrepreneur friend Shannon McLay, founder and CEO of The Financial Gym, explains step-by-step how women can get over their investing and saving hangups, and get started with a financial plan for their futures. Below is a break-down of how to do just that, whether through an employer plan, or on your own.  A common theme we see at the Financial Gym is an overall lack of investing by women. Most women say, “I don’t invest because I don’t want to lose my money.” Those are words I can assure you a man never says; and if you’re saying them, what you’re really saying is, “I don’t want to make money.” The reality is that leaving your money in a checking or savings account and not investing means you’re actually a

Tanai Bernard was famous for her blog Four Deep Around the World, in which she chronicled living in the Middle East with her three kids, teaching school, and traveling the globe. Today she is stateside, teaching and raising her kids in Houston. When Hurricane Harvey struck, she and her family took refuge at her mother's Dallas home. But news of devestation in her hometown of Beaumont, Texas brought back memories of her own loss during Hurricane Rita in 2005. "To watch people you knew (on TV) being evacuated by helicopter put a fire in me," she said in this Like a Mother episode. "I didn't even know what was going on with my own home. I just knew I had to help these people." Pulling on her Facebook community, Tanai put out a call to action, and within 16 hours, friends and strangers from around the globe had made donations through Walmart's 'Ship-to-Store' feature. Tanai loaded up a rented cargo van and drove through scary flood waters and barricaded roads the blankets, diapers and bottled water to a church in

Naama Bloom is best know as the founder of HelloFlo, the mail-order feminine product platform that shot to viral fame with its hilarious videos like 'Camp Gyno,' 'First Moon Party,' and 'A Vistit from Aunt Flo.' On one hand, we should all be so grateful that Bloom and her startup got us talking, laughing, learning and sharing about our bodies in a healthy way. On the other? It was 2014, and shouldn't we be beyond all that? But we weren't, and Bloom helped us get there, and forever she'll be immortalized as an women's activist. The new classic book on puberty for girls  She is also an activist on behalf of girls, with her new book  HelloFlo: The Guide, Period.: The Everything Puberty Book for the Modern Girl (Penguin, October 17, 2017). As you will hear in this episode, it won me over with its first lines, devoted to the fact that every woman, every day, will have crust in her panties. I have spent my whole life — all of which was seeped in feminism — feeling a little bit or a lot weird, ashamed and gross for

  I recently met Jeanie Ahn at Yahoo! Finance, where she interviewed me for her show "The Payoff" (catch it on book launch day: Oct. 17!). Afterwards, we chatted about New York City schools, motherhood and work. Some of her comments struck me as remarkable and universal, and worthy of a whole podcast episode. In this Like a Mother episode, we hear from Ahn: The origins of her working-mom guilt (a mom who laid on thick the reminders of the professional and artistic sacrifices she made for her children) How she harnessed her mom-guilt to take big risk in her career  The steps she took to break out of the traditional TV producer career to forge a path that works for her, her family, and her career goals The magic that transpired when Ahn established what she wanted in a new job, including nice people, a family-friendly work schedule, and a higher-profile, on-camera role  How her spirituality enforces her work (I love this)    

  Sarah Shaw is a normal woman — Colorado single mom of two — who has spent her career dressing, collaborating and selling fabulous handbags to the most famous people in the world. Her secret? "I never take no for an answer."  Career highlights, that you'll hear about in this Like a Mother episode: Worked in the film biz after college for 11 years as a costume supervisor. Started two costume companies, that did huge manufacturing jobs for the movies like "Wind Talkers," "Matrix 2&3," "Out of Sight," "The Postman."  In 1997 started handbag company Sarah Shaw Handbags, available in Nordstrom, Sak’s 5th Ave, Barney’s NY, Bergdorf Goodman, Anthropologie, Fred Segal and 1200 other boutiques across the United States, that grew to a multiple 8 figure business thanks to press in magazines like ELLE, INStyle, “O” List, Marie Claire, and being on Access Hollywood, and getting products to celebs like Jennifer Aniston, Oprah, Cameron Diaz, Julia Roberts, Sarah Jessica Parker, Hallee Berry and 70 others, and getting h

  Coming out of her own marriage, Erin Williamson, 39, of Seattle, realized that because she did not have equal income in her marriage, she did not share equal power. So she set out not only to change her own financial autonomy, but committed to ensuring that women around the globe also have equal access to financial capital — typically for work they are already doing, but are not paid for. "Direct access to money can mean power, freedom, choice, and for those being oppressed by domestic violence, a woman's access to money can mean life," the mom of two told me. Erin is the founder of Pier Coffee, a cold-brew coffee company that buys 100 percent of its beans from women-owned farms. She is also the founder of Engendered International, a non-profit organization that provides certification to companies that prove: Percentage of supply-chain workers who are women Percentage of supply-chain companies owned by women Work within countries that do not place legal restrictions on economic opportunities for women and

Have you ever heard a man say he feels guilty for going to work? [har har har] However, I guarantee you have felt guilty as woman for working.  Whether or not you are a mom, caregiver, mom to a fur baby. Single or married, gay or straight. The message is the same to all of us about who you should be as woman: Married to a rich guy, 2.2 kids, and a house.  Even if your own upbringing was progressive. Even if we almost had a woman in the White House. Even though women are the majority of undergraduate students, and 40 percent of families are headed by breadwinning women.  These pressures to be June Cleaver affect all of us. And they hold you back. Don't believe me? A few years ago, I attended a casual cocktail party in New York City, where I live. The guests were all professionally successful women in various fields: a global head of marketing for a luxury car brand, a tech startup founder, a pianist who came to the event right from a Carnegie Hall performance, the founder of an international women's aid organi

Alaina Shearer faced sexism throughout her media career. In her early radio jobs, male co-hosts complained when she didn't laugh at their sexist jokes. Then she was fired without cause. In an interview, a hiring manager at a big radio station asked if she planned to get pregnant soon. Why? Because pregnant hosts got great ratings, he said. The big boss at a marketing agency came on to her — then asked via email that she stay silent. HR did nothing — despite the documented transgression — and Shearer was required to keep working under the man. Then she was demoted. A couple years after founding Columbus, Ohio digital marketing agency, Cement Marketing (which will do $3 million in business in 2017, Shearer says), Alaina's husband Seth Gray urged her to apply for Women Owned Business status from the Small Business administration. She refused. "'I don't need it!' she recalls arguing with her husband. "I wanted to build this business on my own merits." Her husband pointed out how often she was discriminated agains

  The Kickass Single Mom Grant is now six months old, and as it has grown, has featured women with blatantly activist missions: Give books to kids in need, promote healthy births and nursing to minority women, support a formerly homeless mom building a new life.  But being kickass, and being an activist, can come in man forms — often quieter and more private. That is what drew me to Teri Teves, a Portland, Ore., single mom of one, who switched careers from advertising to cosmetology, specifically lash extensions. Her new career gave Teri the time flexibility and high income that she craved. But making women feel comfortable, cared for, listened to, and beautiful is how Teri found she had the greatest professional contribution.  The $1,000 grant supported a continuing education course so she can offer more services, which helps her grow her business and bottom line. She wrote in her application: Four years ago, after being laid off, I changed careers to become a licensed esthetician and lash tech. January 201

  Yes, it is true: Rich women have issues, too. Molly Ward, CFP, should know. One of the most successful financial advisors in the country and a single mom, Molly is one of those rich single women.  Molly was raised in one of the most affluent families of Houston, the granddaughter of the CEO of a Fortune 500 country, whose Depression Era work ethic and humble values Molly assumed — even if she was expected to be a housewife and stay-at-home mom. Fast-forward to today, and Molly is just one of five members (out of 5,000 of her peers, and the only woman) of the global financial services firm AXA’s Elite Producer Group Steering Committee Board. Translation: She is a badass. She is also a passionate divorced mom of three whose practice, Well Lived Wealth, helps affluent women (with investible assets of more than $2 million, or annual income of at least $1 million), navigate the fears and fears of having money as an unpartnered woman.  In this Like a Mother episode, Molly shares: Why so many successful women wit