Like A Mother

Weird, sad and true: One of the most popular WealthySingleMommy posts of all time is this one: You are stupid if you do your own laundry.  I summary, the post says: Outsource. You can't build financial wealth, control of your time, or a full, joyful life if you are at the mercy of tedious household chores you are overqualified for, and resent. For a tiny monetary premium, you can save yourself  hours and hours of laundry. It's not just the time and money: It is the headspace and energy it takes to think about and manage laundry (and other housework). Why the hell do we have feminism if we're all doing so much freaking laundry?! Outsource that crap, and don't look back.  But read the comments on You are stupid if you do your own laundry.  People are SO OFFENDED by this notion! Some gems: It’s just laziness and stupidity. She just have to put clothes in the machine once in two weeks. It’s not like she needs do wash it by hand. And she is stupid to wash clothes after one wear if they are still clean and smel

I'm very proud to partner with LegalZoom to create this episode of Like a Mother. So many followers have asked me about wills and trusts, which are such an important part of finances and life. Astonishingly, 55 percent of Americans don't have a will. LegalZoom is offering Like a Mother listeners $10 off their already discounted prices for estate planning products. Just head to this link for wills, trusts, and other estate planning products, and enter Emma10 promo code.  In this episode, LegalZoom's Laura Goldberg joins me to answer listeners' questions about: Why a will is so, so important. The expensive, heart-wrenching process that your loved ones face if you don't have a will. How to have those difficult conversations, like guardianship of your kids in the event of your death, with loved ones. The difference between a will and trust. Why even very poor people need a will. The cheapest, easiest, and most personal way to get a will today. What you can learn from Price about the importance of legally securin

Cindy Gallup wants you to be a great lover.  The former longtime Bartle Bogle Hegarty ad exec, advocate for women in business, and now sex education entrepreneur, took the world by storm in 2009 with her TED talk, in which she launched her digital sex education site, MakeLoveNotPorn.com. In that talk, Gallup explained that she realized through sleeping with many younger men, the power that porn has on sex education, and how this education sorely misses in the realities and beauty of human sexuality. MLNP is not a porn site, Gallup will have you know. While porn — created by and for an almost exclusively male audience — is the fantasy about what sex is, MLNP is in fact real people having real sex, she explains. Each MLNP video has context, just like in real life. Examples are the pregnant woman telling the audience she created a sexy video for her husband, the young travelers who met in South Africa and enjoy each other in their wobbly caravan, or the female friends who, they admit to the camera, sometimes hoo

  A few years ago I wrote this post: Why single parents should put kids second when dating. It is by far one of the most trafficked posts on WealthySingleMommy, and one of the most polarizing. And the more I read and write on the topic of single moms and dating, the stronger my stance: In a serious relationship, your romantic partner comes first.  I meet most men that I date online. It's very common for guys with kids to write in their OKCupid profiles: "My kids come first," or "My daughter is the center of my world!" I get where you're coming from. You want a potential mate to know that your life includes the giant presence of a kid or four. You also want women to know you're a devoted dad (it's no secret chicks get hot for guys who are great with kids!). Got it. Roger! But I bristle at those lines. When it comes to relationships, I'm fond of saying, You never really knows what goes on between people. But there are a few couples in my life who I look to as models of the kind of marriage I'd like one day. Pe

Loving this podcast? Follow on RSS, Stitcher, TuneIn, SoundCloud or  iTunes. Leave a review, me love you long time. Muah!    Are you part of my Facebook group, Millionaire Single Moms? No income requirement, though BIG GOALS and a POSITIVE MINDSET required! Join now! 

  In this episode, I examine — and CRITICIZE — the oft-delivered, always patronizing insistence from sanctimonious married people to single moms: "Don't worry honey/sweetie/whore/doll. You'll find someone." [cue frown emoticon] Say what?! Sure, lots of single moms really want to get married (for the first time, or again), and that is great. But the notion that anyone would presume that their romantic status is the end-goal for everyone is not only arrogant and rude, it is preposterous. Especially considering the sorry, outdated state of matrimony today.  In this episode I share some handy facts for supporting any notion you may have that you never, ever, EVER in a zillion years want to get married again (mainly, marriage is increasingly unpopular, divorce as popular as ever. You do the math). I also share dozens of my followers' own awesome, hilarious and erudite responses THEY use when handed the supercilious insistence that their own perfect, ever-after mate is right around the corner.  Have a listen. You k

Since her first appearance was such a wild success, my lovely, irreverent daughter Helena is back! In this episode we discuss: How we can better navigate the stressful morning routine Helena's big reveal about her secret scat strategy for finding quiet reading time  The fine art of children navigating adults' conversation  Roundup of our recent vacation  Whether Helena's life is boring or fabulous (you decide)  Please listen. Don't you think this kid needs her own show??  Until we sort that out, expert her back soon.         Are you part of the new Facebook group, Millionaire Single Moms? No income requirement, though BIG GOALS and a POSITIVE MINDSET required! Join now!   

I keep hearing the same story again and again from professionally successful women. Variations on: "My grandma told me: 'Always have your own money.'" It could be a mother, aunt, neighbor, Girl Scout leader, teacher, cousin, mentor or favorite coach. The bottom line: An older, respected woman looked her straight in the eye, and in her own but direct way said: Do not ever depend on a man financially. Money is power, and never, ever give up that power.  You are powerful. Never chose to give up that power.  You are responsible for your own life.  You are not a victim. I believe in you.  Many of the women who tell me these stories are in their 40s, 50s and older, and their champions were women of a generation or two more senior than that. This is important because it is clear that women found ways to be financially independent — whether through work, or even squirreling away cash in their own name or shoebox in the back of a closet — even if they had but a fraction of the economic and career opportunity you and I

This is my mission statement for this platform, myself, and for single moms everywhere:     I will set big, giant scary goals for myself and family, regardless of what my family looks like, or what other people think I am capable of. I appreciate every single day that I live in a time of unprecedented wealth and opportunity for women, and it is my duty to achieve both to honor the people who fought for me to have these opportunities, as well as for those who come after me. I accept responsibility for my own financial well being. I might not have it all figured out right now, but I am taking steps to be debt free, financially independent, and with a financial plan for the future. I will never chose to under-earn in order to maximize receipt of child support, alimony or public benefits. I will never under-earn to minimize paying child support or alimony. I will take steps to minimize working mom guilt, instead deferring to extensive research that finds that after age 3, the number of hours moms spend with their

  Of course it's never 'just sex.' But sometimes, a relationship based on little more than sexual chemistry is a fantastic way to get in touch with your femininity, your sexual identity, and get your groove back — especially after a long hiatus or long-term relationship. Why?  In the absence of potential emotional or relationship entanglement, you can focus on JUST THE SEX. You learn what makes you hot, what turns you on, what you need in bed without all the complications of a relationship (because, let's face it: relationships can kill your mojo).  So: Without shame or guilt, go for that hottie who you know you'll never fall in love with. Hook up with the guy who your family and friends will never meet. Enjoy. Indulge. Learn. Then take those lessons to your next relationship.  

I was stunned when, a couple months ago, I attended a media event for the Oxygen show, Quit Your Day Job (think SharkTank meets Survivor), where one of the panelists, and show co-host, Lauren Maillian took her turn at the mic, introducing herself. Some of the first words out of her mouth were, "I'm a single mom." I wasn't sure what she said after that, because I was so stunned — I have never, ever heard a high-profile woman lead with her unmarried moms status. This was a triumph. So is Lauren. I met Lauren, 31, a few years ago when we discussed working on a book together. She is remarkable — a former fashion model (she is remarkable in her beauty and fashion, as we discuss in this episode. Seriously, she GOES THERE when she steps out), wine entrepreneur, best-selling author, luxury marketing consultant, TV personality, philanthropist and, of course, single mom. In this episode we discuss: The power of feminine beauty in business. How being the only black kid in her Manhattan private school developed her risk

Other ways to listen: iTunes  ♦  Stitcher   ♦  TuneIn   ♦  SoundCloud (and coming soon … GooglePlay!)   This is such an awesome interview for so many reasons. Kimberly Palmer, former senior money editor for U.S. News, married mom of two, and all-around smart girl, wrote a book that is so obvious in its scope and mission it seems impossible it does not already exist: Smart Mom, Rich Mom: How to Build Wealth While Raising a Family     That's right: a personal finance book for moms. Insane? Hardly. But what delightfully thrilled me is some hard-lined rules Palmer lays out for mothers, as well as her patent assumption that moms need to be taking care of business by themselves — and not naively assume there is a man in the picture. Some highlights from the interview: Stop focusing on couponing, and start focusing on EARNING Never ignore your earning power. DO NOT STEP OFF THE CAREER PATH. Stay-at-home motherhood is a fantastical fantasy, so get over it.  The higher-earning spouse's time is not more valuable th

Other ways to listen: iTunes  ♦  Stitcher   ♦  TuneIn   ♦  SoundCloud (and coming soon … GooglePlay!) I've known Amy Silverman for more than 15 years, from when I worked with the Phoenix New Times award-winning journalist's husband Ray Stern at another (now defunct!) Arizona newspaper. I remember when their second daughter Sophie was born, and how they contended first with the denial, fear and ultimately acceptance and joy at learning their child has Down syndrome. I am so thrilled to interview Amy on Like a Mother about her new book, My Heart Can't Believe It: A Story of Science, Love, and Down Syndrome. This reported memoir is raw and honest, as Amy contends with her own adolescent notions about learning disabilities, including her casual use of the word 'retarded,' hilarious in its antics of raising a intellectually disabled tween obsessed with her own puberty, as well as tender moments of accepting and learning to love a child who is not like you, or what you thought your family would look like. We talk

Oh man, when I read Heather Shumaker's essay in Salon Homework is wrecking our kids: The research is clear, let's ban elementary homework, I reached out to her immediately. In her excellent article, Shumaker articulates exactly what I have been grumbling about (and fighting with my ex about) since my kids were in preschool. I wanted to know: Would she be my BFF? Make sweet love to me? Talk to my school/ex/annoying parents who dominate the PTAs and playgrounds and support all the over-parenting pressure that is actually corrupting kids, holding women back professionally and financially, and are generally an irritant to the establishment? Shumaker, a Minneapolis based journalist and married mom of two, agreed to be interviewed on this show, and I am so glad she did. This is a home girl, a sister-in-arms in reasonable parenting that supports kids and families in ways that promote health and reason, and not the homemaker fantasy that dominates school schedules and curriculums, and pressure to spend inordinate an

A few anecdotes: The mom blogger who earns six-figures each year calls herself a "stay-at-home-mom." (Not surprising: Pew found 40 percent of Americans believe (brace yourself for the horror) it HARMS children when their mothers work outside the home. The Columbia educated mom who left her banking position owning to burnout and yearning to spend more time with her kids defensively tells all new acquaintances:  "I'm NOT staying home. I'm consultingworkingparttimevolunteering!" How do you define yourself as a mom? Is it by what you value (professional mom vs SAHM)? Or what you're actually doing at that moment? Does it matter? In this episode I share my thoughts on this: Yes it does matter. Because by lying about not earning and working when you do, you perpetuate sexist stereotypes and parenting myths that hold women back. Have a listen.      Loving this podcast? Follow on RSS, Stitcher, TuneIn, SoundCloud or  iTunes. Leave a review, me love you long time. Muah!  Are you part of the new Facebook group, Mill

  Two years ago Manon DeFelice launched Inkwell, a recruiting agency specializing in placing high-level professional moms in positions with flexible or part-time schedules. In the past six months the agency grossed $500,000 in commissions, and is projected to hit 7-figures in 2016. Impressive numbers for DeFelice, a 35-year-old mom of three kids ages 8 and younger, who was inspired by personal experience. The Barnard and Brooklyn Law grad spent her early career in Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s Office of Criminal Justice, and as executive director of the AHA Foundation, which focuses on female human rights issues. In her career, DeFelice faced discrimination for being pregnant, taking maternity leave and breastfeeding in the office, she says. She also struggled to find balance between her New York City office and three children and husband in Greenwich, Conn. She saw highly educated and accomplished women all around her dropping out, staying home full time and being increasingly frustrated and bored.  Today, she h

  Amanda Steinberg, single mom, and all-around kick-ass entrepreneur you probably read about in every single business publication, has been consistently pissed off that women do not have as much wealth as men. First, the Columbia educated engineer launched DailyWorth, the leading site for ambitious women who want to learn more about money, and now co-founder of WorthFM, an investing and savings platform marketed to women, and automates savings and investing based on your money type.  In this episode we talk about: How women invest, save and spend differently from men. Typical pitfalls women fall into when it comes to accumulating credit card debt. Amanda's money habits that made her book publisher worry make her look like a financial train wreck. Why she is anti-budgeting. Financial challenges specific to single moms.  The "social atrocity" that the world does not teach women to take care of themselves financially.    Loving this podcast? Follow on RSS, Stitcher, TuneIn, SoundCloud or  iTunes. Leave a revie

Other ways to listen: iTunes  ♦  Stitcher   ♦  TuneIn   ♦  SoundCloud (and coming soon … GooglePlay!) I keep hearing women who work from home — some earning a lot of money — call themselves "stay-at-home moms." Meanwhile, I see moms who are un- or under-employed who go out of their way to make sure that no one things they are stay-at-home moms. The horror!  Bottom line: No one is really ascribing to the "We all must respect each other's decisions, and support one another in the mom-tribe!" That is bull. Each one of us has very strong feelings about what is best for families and women, and you and I make sure everyone knows where we fit into that paradigm — whether explicitly or passive-aggressively.  Have a listen. What do you think?

  Other ways to listen: iTunes  ♦  Stitcher   ♦  TuneIn   ♦  SoundCloud (and coming soon … GooglePlay!) My friend Russ Thornton, the founder of Wealthcare for Women, a financial advisory focused on divorced women. He's seen it all!  Why every person in a marriage has to know all about all the money, all the time — no matter how things have always been done. "Women cannot afford to sit back and stick their heads in the sand or up their asses and just hope and pray things will work out." Why the most affluent families often have the nastiest skeletons in their pretty closets. The nitty-gritty on life insurance, wills, retirement and budgeting post-divorce.  "Do not rely on anyone to take care of your financially." "Divorcee is fact of life, and I've seen divorce be a dark time in a woman's life. I've also see women go on to find themselves and really shine."       Loving this podcast? Follow on RSS, Stitcher, TuneIn, SoundCloud or  iTunes. Leave a review, me love you long time. Muah!    Are you part of th

    I've been a Rebecca Traister fan for a long time, ever since I saw the feminist political journalist interview one of my idols, the late Nora Ephron at the 92nd Street Y nearly a decade ago (could that have been a more NYC event?). Needless to say, I was thrilled to interview Traister about her new, very fabulous book All the Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation.  The book is a gritty piece of reporting that took Traister five years to complete, and I cannot recommend it enough. Pegged on the news that the 2008 presidential elections were largely influenced by unmarried women, the book details the history of unmarried women in the United States, and highlights how, given economic power and social acceptance, women in large numbers tend to chose life without husbands. Huh! Reading this book came at an important time in my own life, as I find I have settled into my single status in a new way. Suddenly, a long-term, committed, monogamous heterosexual relationship just doesn't