Like A Mother

When I shared on Facebook an excerpt of Suzanne Venker's new book, The Alpha Female's Guide to Men and Marriage: How Love Works, out this week, many people dismissed it entirely because it was on Foxnews.com, a network where Venker is a frequent contributor. Prepping for this interview, I asked my boyfriend if he thought I was an alpha, and if so, difficult to date. He recoiled at the notion that anyone could be boxed into any category (I'll take that as a 'yes' and a 'yes.'). All perfectly reasonable reactions, but let me tell you this: Read the freaking book. If the title alone irritates the crap out of you, it means it triggers something deep and important in you. So read the book. Since New York Times bestseller got a deal to write this book is only a testament to the fact that there are a lot of alpha women out there — women with difficult marriages, women searching for romantic love, women who worry their skyrocketing career and direct ways threaten her marriage — or the prospect of finding one. Progres

After the presidential election, like so many of us Valerie Schull a single mom in Chicago, was angry. She got motivated. Shull is co-founder of a local resistance group that is fight against change in federal and local governments that do not support their progressive beliefs. Their mission statement: We work to BLOCK harm to ourselves and others, BUILD for future progressive candidates who govern for the people and BE the change and good we want to see. Valerie is a personal friend, and has become my political mentor for making that change that I, too, want to see. Every single day she takes action, and leads others in doing so. Here are the highlights from our interview: How does a busy single mom find time to be an activist?  "It takes 30 seconds to make a phone call to your senator." "You don't have to do it all." Attend someone else's party. Join someone's activist group. Take the action provided by a leader in your community. What happens when you show up at your representative's office and demand acti

Beth Kobliner is a celebrity in my nerd world: One of the first journalists covering personal finances for the masses for 30 years, Kobliner wrote the New York Times bestseller, Get a Financial Life: Personal Finance In Your Twenties and Thirties that changed the way that we think and deal with our finances. In 2014, she was appointed by President Obama to the President's Advisory Council on Financial Capability for Young Americans. Fast forward to today, and Kobliner's Make Your Kid a Money Genius (Even If You're Not), is out on Amazon and in your local bookstore. In this interview, Beth Kobliner and I talk about: Why 'why genius' is not a sales gimmick — master a few basic money habits and skills and you will beat out the vast majority of Americans.  Why you should not tell your kids your salary. Allowance? Doesn't matter! Studies show conflicting evidence as to whether this helps or hurts kids. Do what you want!  Chores? YES!  Top mistakes parents make when it comes to paying — and applying for — their ki

While the numbers are not confirmed, experts agree that divorce rates among parents with special needs children is far higher than the general population. And since single moms of special needs kids have challenges and joys that other moms  — single or otherwise  — do not. Kim Thompson, a single mom of two boys, ages 7 and 13, ages who lives in New York City, has struggled with her son's autism (and other diagnosis's) first as a married mother, and now as a single, divorced mom. Because of her younger son's special needs, she has put her career on hold and cares for him fulltime at home. In this touching episode, Kim and I discuss: The #1 challenge single moms of special needs children face.  What dating is like as a mother of a disabled child. "I want to feel like the amazing woman I am again!" Kim told me.  How to be a supportive friend of a mom struggling with a special needs kid.  What it feels like when friends fade away because of your family. Why, 'Just hire child care' is the wrong thing to say. The

Sallie Krawcheck is often cited as one of the most influential women on Wall Street. The former president of Global Wealth & Investment Management at Bank of America, and CEO of Citigroup's Smith Barney unit, Krawcheck today is the co-founder of the female networking coalition Ellevate Network, and CEO and co-founder of Ellevest, a digital financial advisor for women. She's also a wife, mom and philanthropist. On this episode of Like a Mother, Sally and I chat about her career, advice for women navigating career, money, relationships and motherhood, all of it dished about in detail in her new book, Own It: The Power of Women at Work. The gorgeous message of this book: THIS IS A MOMENT FOR WOMEN! Your unique qualities are scientifically proven to be an asset in the workforce, and businesses large and small KNOW IT. Further, the realities of technology mean that you have untold freedom to create a business, life and career of your own making. In other words: No more excuses. Your gender is no longer a reaso

This is an important episode. Terry Brennan, co-founder of Leading Women for Shared Parenting, an activist organization responsible for introducing legislation in 20 states, that makes equal, shared parenting the presumption in family court. This is a critical issue for children, who suffer from absentee fathers in alarming figures, as well as men, who are automatically reduced to paychecks and an afterthought in family life. Shared parenting is critical for women, too, as involved co-parents, both inside and outside of marriage, mean women have far more support at home, which allows us to thrive as parents, as well as professionals and earners. After all, we can't be equals at work, if men are not equals at home. In this episode, Terry Brennan shares: There are 43 academics papers support shared parenting for children of divorced or separated parents. In cases where 'standard' visitation is awarded — every-other-weekend — fathers become depressed and non-involved, and within 3 years, one study found, 40 per

Admit it: You hate running your kids around. And chauffeuring children to and from after-school activities, play dates and, you're a separated family, to their dad's house, is one of the dregs of parenthood. It is for me. And finding a safe driver, with their own wheels, available for the inconsistent chore of schlepping kids to and fro is a chore in and of itself. Enter HopSkipDrive, the Uber for kids. Founded in 2013 by three moms of little kids, the California startup is coming to a city near you. To thank for this gift is co-founder and CEO Joanna McFarland, herself a Los Angeles married mom of two sons, whom I interview in this fun interview. Joanna and I discuss: How the three founders birthed HopSkipDrive. Why so many customers are divorced families (drivers serve as intermediary between the homes of contentious parents. Why the service is such a great job for moms. The mom guilt that pressures women to assume the onerous task of kid-schlepping.  How outsourcing this (and other mom duties) enhances ea

Only about 3 percent of people who pay alimony are women, but those women are usually really, really angry about it. Typically, the women are angry about his low- or no-earning during the marriage, disgusted with his spending habits, and aghast she must now support him after the marriage is over.  In this episode, I offer my top advice for dealing with the reality of paying your ex each month. Tips include: Prioritize coming to peace with the situation. Stop talking about it. Minimize interaction, and find ways to pay him in a lump sum, automatically, or a few times annually. Accept that this is the price you had to pay to get out of a bad relationship. Ask your ex to fund the kids’ college savings plans. If you truly cannot afford your current lifestyle while making these payments, downgrade your lifestyle. Remember that alimony and child support were huge, wonderful feminist coups. Focus on how your kids benefit from this payment — and how you benefit by default. Peel away the layers of the resentment, whi

Jean Chatzky is a personal financial journalist, bestselling author of eight books and financial editor for NBC's Today Show. Here we talk about" Focus on earning vs. skimping - especially for women. "Your financial life doesn't work how much you save, if you're not bringing in money." "I enjoy earning money, it makes me feel safe, confident and independent." Why she wished her latest book was entitled "Don't Bitch, Get Rich." Her new book, Age Proof about living until 100 without going broke. The incredible toxic power of financial stress, your physical, emotional health. Why you don't have to be wealthy, but a regular, consistent saver to build a healthy lifestyle and secure future. Women really have much higher stakes when it comes to money: we earn less, live longer, are more likely to be responsible for raising children and caring for older relatives. It doesn't need to take a ton of time to manage your finances in a powerful way. The prevalence of women choosing to not be involved in family finances, h

Health insurance is no joke. By law, you are required to carry it. This seems scary, especially since premiums are so expensive, and only going higher. But health insurance is an incredible asset that everyone should have, even if mandates require you buy health insurance on the marketplace.  If Obamacare is really repealed in the next few months, what happens next? No real changes can happen for at least one year, if not until 2018, and 2017 prices and plans are locked. The health insurance code is thousands of pages that slow down any potential changes. What are the most important benefits I should look for when selecting a health insurance plan this year? This depends on what is most important to you: Affordable monthly premiums, maintaining your current doctors or the total deductibles, including co-pays for office visits and prescriptions. PolicyGenius helps navigate these priorities over available policies. Unfortunately, you’re not going to get everything you want out of this purchase upfront, so face

Why is everyone such a financial mess? Why do successful, highly educated women have zero idea what is going on in their finances — and abandon their financial power to men? What do really successful people have to say about money and success? Bobbi Rebell, Reuters anchor and author of the new How to Be a Financial Grownup: Proven Advice from High Achievers on How to Live Your Dreams and Have Financial Freedom answers these questions and more.​ In this tidy book, and on this episode, Rebell, who is divorced, and remarried with a stepson, shares: What Ivana Trump taught her daughter Ivanka Trump about hard work and entitlement. Why 'fake it till you make it' is the brilliance behind Cynthia Rowley's fashion empire. How the heck she got Tony Robbins to write the book's forward. Can you attract a great man if you earn more than most men have a successful, high-profile career (asking for a friend)? Moreover, can you sustain a successful marriage if the wife earns more than the husband?  

For the past several years I've been impressed by the positive attitude, candor and humor from an active member of my Millionaire Single Moms Facebook group. Tiffany Horsely is a Kansas nurse, mom of three, and she has no shame about sharing that her ex husband molested and raped for more than four years their oldest daughter, Robyn. At age 17, depressed and despondent, Robyn found the courage to tell her friend, and eventually her mom, and the police the truth. Together they went through the horror that sexual assault trials are known to be, the loss of a father, and marriage, and pushed forward through grief and on to healing. What's more, soon after the ordeal, Robyn turned to social media to publicaly share her story, with her mom at her side. By owning her truth, she freed herself — and others — from the shame of secrets. What is special about Robyn and Tiffany is that they are funny. Without diminishing the gravity of the trauma of their history, they have found ways to laugh at themselves and life — sn

Wednesday, grieving the election results, my Facebook feed filled with angry, confused and outraged posts. An ardent Hillary supporter, I felt the same. My kids saw me cry and cry. After I dropped them at the bus stop, I jogged through my Queens, New York neighborhood. Everyone looked stunned. Ours is noted as one of the most ethnically diverse in the world. Did my neighbors, many new immigrants, worry about their future? I was worried about our future! I was, and am, scared. I tried to make sense of what happened, to find a way to to move forward that was not angry. Something productive. Something to share with my children that reflects my values, and would also help me process this turn events.  I wrote this on Facebook, and it was shared more than 60 times, and got hundreds of 'likes.' You can read it here: What I told my children about the election. If you are not happy about something going on in this country, take this as an opportunity to make change. Commit to an organization you care about. Decide to

In the 90s, Kim Garst was sick of being broke, so she launched a seven-figure business from her dining room table with no marketing. When she maxed out on that web design business, Garst became involved in a wildly successful network marketing business, which morphed into consulting, and eventually Boom Social, a social media marketing firm that is considered a leader in its industry. In this episode, Kim and I discuss: How the heck she is such an involved mom of two, and wife, while building these killer businesses. Her innate comfort with making money. Why her derailment from plans to attend law school by motherhood was the best thing that happened to her career. Why selling your knowledge is often far more lucrative and impactful than doing the actual job.  The importance of surrounding yourself with other positive, ambitious people.  Her husband's attitude about her professional and financial success.    About Like a Mother: For Moms Who Think Celebrities, bestsellers, turd-stirrers, advocates, everyday

When it comes to gender, money and parenting, there are two prevailing issues: Dads who do not live with their kids are barely involved. (Just 22% of dads who live apart from their children see them more than once weekly, per Pew.) That pay gap will. not. close. Here’s the answer: Start all custody negotiations at a default 50-50 visitation and custody, with no child support or alimony. While there is great movement towards equally shared visitation time in at least 20 states, the majority of family courts still default to some version of model that has prevailed in separated families for decades: Dad pays mom child support, and maybe alimony. Mom is primary custodian and dad gets “Friday night special” — every-other weekend, and Wednesday night dinners. This antiquated arrangement only reinforces the sexist notions: Women are incapable of supporting themselves. Fathers are inferior parents. Indeed, this outdated agreement holds women, men, families and the economy back. In this episode I argue for a 50

Earlier this year I interviewed an incredible woman, someone whose work has changed the way I feel about my body, sexuality, gender and life:  Regena Thomashauser, aka Mama Gena, who, through her in-person and online workshops called Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts, and books by the same name, Thomashauser offers a fascinating history on the power of female sensuality and sexuality, biology lessons on female anatomy and the possibilities (and fruits of) hours-long orgasms.  Our interview, re-released here, hinged on the release of her latest book, Pussy: A Reclamation, which was released a few weeks ago. Leading up to the book launch, I noticed on social media that Thomashauer and her team pleaded with fans to promote her new title, since Facebook banned her doing so, since it contained the lewd word, pussy. I got a little worried for her, knowing full well that paid social media promotion is considered one of the most powerful marketing tools today. How would she get the word out about her work if social

  Anna Akbari, PhD, is a sociologist, stylist, and author of the upcoming book: Startup Your Life: Hustle and Hack Your Way To Happiness (St. Martin's Press, January 2017). Preorder now: Akbari is more than your garden-variety stylist. She digs deep into your goals, fears and issues, and helps you dress for life you want. Fascinating stuff. Her book is equally fascinating, yet totally common sense. You know those women and so do I: Brilliant in business and money, disasters in their personal lives. Akbari taps into the entrepreneurship-obsessed zeitgeist and breaks down truisms about Silicon Valley incubation into action steps for how to excel in all parts of your life. Including: Finding the career of your dreams Landing the mate or romantic life you crave Health, money and lifestyle you want and desserve.  

I see it all the time, and you likely do, too. People fall apart when their marriages end. No matter if it is an amicable, Gweneth Paltro uncoupling, your decision or his, wether there was plenty of money or everyone is now destitute, divorce is trauma. Every single vertical of your life unravels: finance, real estate, the kids of course, and how much you will see them and where. Money is a giant, scary question mark, and your relationships with friends and extended family likely change and are challenged. If you are like I was, your ideas about your own sexuality, identity and future are questioned, and your health can take its toll. You get a year. A free pass for 12 months to be a freaky weirdo. Drink too much after the kids go to bed. Smoke a few cigarettes at break time with your colleagues. Let the house go, let the dishes pile up in the sink. Hell, might as well preemptively cancel the gym memberships, because you’re not going. Be stinky and oily, and let your pubes hang out of your swimsuit on a publi

I interviewed Marlena Stell for Forbes last year, and we've stayed friends since. This 36-year-old entrepreneur built MakeUp Geek, the once cosmetics blog, now-makeup brand on track for $20 million in sales. Whew! In this episode, Makeup Geek's Marlena Stell and I discuss: How she went from high school music teacher, to cosmetics mogul (named to Inc.'s 'Fastest Growing Women-Led Companies'), thanks to the then-new YouTube, brutal honesty and being herself in a world of gloss and perfection.  Whaaatt?! Her ex-husband is her COO? She explains how that works.  Why she DOESN'T have a mentor or professional idol. What she does with all her money. How she found her new husband, and balances her role as the breadwinner with her relationship. Biggest mistakes she's made in building Makeup Geek Her advice to aspiring cosmetics entrepreneuers  Whats' next for this woman Why she is always unabashedly honest about the products she reviews (and drugstore brands often beat spendy Sephora labels) Have a l

I love me some Lauren Greutman! This Rochester, New York mom of four was living the American dream ... 3,500 square-foot custom house, two luxury cars parked in the drive way, new furniture, dinners out ... and $40,000 in credit card debt. Fast forward through slinging steaks at a local restaurant, selling off everything she and her husband owned, clipping coupons and budgeting like a mo-fo and relocating to a tiny condo in a community, and being shunned by neighborhood moms who lived in big, newly furnished custom homes, this family has chronicled their journey out of debt, thanks to her platform for helping families live a fantastic life within their means — most famously for her slow-cooker Aldi meal plans (20 meals for $150 = mind blown).  What I love so much about Lauren, is that she is so freaking honest and real. Also, that she has parlayed her passion and authenticity into an incredible, profitable online business, and media appearances on TODAY, Fox & Friends, Rachel Ray Show, Steve Harvey ... yo