Your Mom's House With Christina P. And Tom Segura

Nothing quite like a real dad losing his mind over a mediocre joke. You should know if you listen to this show that Tommy was raised by a hardcore dad boner who can barely finish a sentence if he's struck by his own "hilarious" thought. We may have found some competition for Top Dog this week. PLUS, if you are a lady or a ZER do you want a man/zim to treat you like the perfect little princess that you are? Gross. And why do all those girls talk like that, Britttany?!? We are joined in studio by the great Brad Williams a hilarious comic and friend of ours. We break down some hooker sales pitches, guess what FGT RTD means, read your emails and hear Brad's great stories about the lamest stuff he hears from people about being a little person.  This one is a certified denim classic! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Done with white people? This guy is too. Not the brightest guy, but he's white so what can you expect? Plus grief is real. The best way to process it is to dance and record it and share it with the world. Please share your grief dances with us! Loud cell phone talkers - please stop or get shot (something we're working on).  The great Matt Braunger returns to the show with a lot of hilarious insight. Check out Matt's new podcast, Advice From a Dip S**t with Matt Braunger.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode was delayed due to Tom's demanding movie star lifestyle, but don't worry, it's HOME HERE NOW.  Christina had a THEYBY. She and Tom go over the huge upside of raising their child in a gender neutral world.  There's also a new cool guy who is just putting out to the world that he would like some sex and he chooses the most unflattering of camera angles to rope you in.  AND Charo and Top Dog are on the show discussing everything from M**ijuana to Charo's amazing farts and so much more. PLUS, your emails cover ANNOUNCING you have a big dong before you should it to a lover and whether or not your mommies fight before or during the show.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is one really loaded. Upon playback, it hit us. Could this episode be TOO good? Yes, but you deserve it just for hanging with us.  This week we discuss a rapper who likes women who are almost not women - could he like men? Sure seems like it.  We get on the phone with Daddy Long Neck who tells us the full story of his neck, his voice and a potential fight with Crazy Locs (probably not a good idea).  Charo and Tom join us on a call to discuss the new Sicario movie among other things.  THEN due to CP's pregnancy and the recording schedule we had to keep things going, we have a DENTAL UPDATE with Charo and Tom IN STUDIO.  As if that isn't enough, the great and hilarious Nikki Glaser joins us in studio to discuss her blossoming radio career - she hosts You Up? on Sirius, she continues to travel the country performing stand up and she recently taped the CC Roast of Bruce Willis, where she no doubt burned him badly.    Please support our sponsors:  ShadyRays.com code: MOM Stamps.com code: MOM 23andMe.com/mom D

The Jeans are probably cuddling a new baby (non-gender specific) as you listen to this. Please know that God watches you when you watch porn and you'll probably have to answer to him.  Also, do you think we should get fart mics for the studio we might be moving to?  Pull up your jeans and listen what will be an all time classic.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The great Ari Shaffir AKA Airy Shaeffer returns to the motherland. It's always a treat when the most uncompromising podcaster and comic on earth decides to stop in. As usual, Ari doesn't hold back on anything. He's even transitioning (into a European comic).  This one is full of laughs and HO-LEE S**T moments.   Please support our sponsors:  NewYorker.com/mom SquareSpace.com/mom   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The great Kevin Nealon is in studio with absolutely amazing stories about his rise in the comedy world.  From his days working the bar at The Improv to Carson and SNL, you will not want this one to end.  Kevin is a natural fit with your mothers. Pull your jeans up for a real treat, meow.    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's a double date! Moshe and Natasha join us to discuss the Honeymoon Stand Up Special on Netflix and the mind-blowing reality of their fart situation.  Plus, we learn a lot about Jews and how loud screams from people in pain are indeed FUNNY.    please support our sponsors   Stamps.com code word: MOM There's no reason not to join! Get yours at DollarShaveClub.com/MOM Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A new shirtless guy with an absolutely terrifying message for you! AND, why does self imposed harm that results in a horrendous scream not elicit joy from Tommy? Are the Water Battles of your moms in the news? We have a prank call using the Try it Out guy and it just might be our favorite thing ever.  AND there is a great possibility that the White House just released the funniest/scariest video of all time.  Let us know what you think.  Support comes from:  Stamps.com code word: MOM Brooklinen.com code word: MOM PolicyGenius.com  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jean and Jean are together with no one else home on this one.  We FINALLY found him - a super creepy guy that is beyond menacing and get this, he's wearing a shirt. It's a first here at YMH.  Plus, the ladies are letting us know that they don't always have a man telling them to write in or say outrageous stuff to us - they do it themselves! AND did Dr Drew call Tom "Bert?" We have dental updates and more!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Daddy is finally here with mommies.  Chris D'Elia joins us for pretty much non stop laughs. We already want him back.  Plus, some lady says she really wants The D badly and can't find someone to give it to her. Can she be trusted?  AND is it possible we found a less impressive, more infuriating musical "skill" than scatting? YES. This is an instant classic. Pull your jeans up.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You wanted it, we wanted it and now all of our wishes have come true. The magnificent Dr. Drew Pinksy is back in studio evaluating our clips and us as only he can do. Will he agree that the lung infection singer has lung issues? Does he think the sissy of Freemont comes from a traumatic background? Will scat sex get you physically ill? And most importantly, is Dr. Drew going to join the 4 Stroke Gang? All the answers you want are here!   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Need your sack shaved? There's a really nice guy who is willing to do it. He's pretty naked if you don't count the leather straps. Don't be weird about it - a LOT of straight guys get it done too.  Plus, when you have to make a brown and the store you're in won't let you go, there's only one thing to do - yes, that is correct.  Sam Tripoli joins us and so did so many talented FEMALE listeners who are just dying to TRY IT OUT!   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This one is just Jean and Jean.  We find yet another man who is putting it out there for the world wide web with a plea that is sure to touch a woman's heart.  We find a man who represents the Dark Siiiiiide and you may not be ready for it.  Plus, is Hummus good to eat before a massage?  How many days is too many without a shower? AND - we may have uncovered the secret to what the Try It Out guy is saying! Four Stroke Life Shirts are now in store! Get one just to annoy Christina. Wear them to her shows! Please support our sponsors:  Brooklinen.com Code word - MOM SaatvaMattress.com  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Poop Pile is REAL. The question is, do you believe? Some people don't want the truth and some people are building their own piles.  The great and wonderful Sarah Tiana joins us to discuss everything from meth to scatting like Kanye to whether or not an old guy saying nasty things is really that offensive.  Sarah is hilarious and insightful as always.    Please support our sponsors:  Stamps.com Code: MOM forhims.com/house fabfitfun.com Code: YOURMOM Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tiger Mom Belly's House. It's finally happened. The great Bobby Lee & Khalyla join us for some silly good times and OMG revelations! We got some meth smoking tips that might just change your life or at least how you spend time with your brother! Plus we revisit some fun John McAfee clips and a lot more.  Tommy laughs so hard he almost passes out. Jeans Up!   Please support our sponsors:  Stamps.com code word MOM Dollar Shave Club: There's no reason not to join! Get yours at DollarShaveClub.com/mom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you don't know how to eat butt, we have all your bases covered. Basically, we want Tina to finally do this like an adult. We'll see what happens. Plus we have the most intense prank call ever and it involves Tommy and Bert and Joey and Joe and well, dudes doing stuff exclusively with dudes.  And Wheeler Walker Jr joins us and gives his thoughts on SCATTING and a whole lot more.  Please support our sponsors:  Go to Daily-Harvest.com and enter promo code MOM to get three items FREE in your first box! Stamps.com promo code MOM Brooklinen.com SaatvaMattress.com  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Any ladies out there looking to beat the sissy of Fremont for fun? You have to be white and tatted, but he seems cool if you meet that criteria. By cool we happen to mean decidedly NOT cool. He does however do his video shirtless, which we've come to realize might mean WATCH OUT - not 100% well man sharing thoughts.  Plus we talk about Andre the Giant's farts and more importantly his best friends beard. What do you think of a chin strap beard? AND, how many donut holes could you eat in one 12 minute sitting? We feel a competition brewing.  Tommy defends the open defecation accusations and MORE! Pull em up! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Skibbity Scabbity doo! We love to pretend to be an instrument with our mouths. It obviously takes WAY more skill to scat than to learn to play an instrument. We are MASTERS of the craft and welcome you to learn from us. Also, God, is he real? Is he a he? Seems unlikely. If you ever wanted proof that religion is likely just comfort food, listen here. We are EXPERTS. Plus, God doesn't like sausage. (This is, of course, difficult to reconcile with the previous paragraph, but we also have an expert on this so just trust us).  We have all that plus Dental Updates and much more! Pull em up.  Thanks to our sponsors:  Stamps.com Code word: MOM FabFitFun.com Code word: YOURMOM Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Open defecation - we're into it. Unfortunately, it's not that popular in Los Angeles. Let's explore where it's still a thing AKA where people know how to party.  We thank YOU, the listener for sending in your Ball Hog vids and we talk to everyone's 'Best Friend' Alison Rosen about her new book, Tropical Attire Encouraged.  Pull your jeans all the way up for this one, unless you use a wash cloth in the shower (because you are poor). Thank you for supporting our sponsors:   ZipRecruiter.com/house Stamps.com code: MOM AdoreMe.com/Mom Dollar Shave Club: There's no reason not to join! Get yours at DollarShaveClub.com/MOM Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices