Your Mom's House With Christina P. And Tom Segura

There's a very upset lady in an internet chat room that says a lot of things we can relate to. She's fired up that someone called her the R word and she has a new and exciting version of English to battle back.  PLUS, Age Gap Love is our new obsession. It's a show that follows couples who have way too many years in between them and yes, these people are gross. Old dudes, old ladies, just old, old, old. Yuck! Imagine someone loving your grandparents. Well, that's not the best way of putting it. Imagine dating someone that looks like your grandparents. Done vomiting? We have more. AND friend of the show, Tom Rhodes is back after too many years away. He's hilarious and full of travel tales and so much more. Pull your international jeans way up! Thanks to our sponsors:  Brooklinen.com Promo code: MOM Stamps.com Promo code: MOM SaatvaMattress.com LoomandLeaf.com  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you want to go on a date with a nice lady follow the lead of this episodes opening clip - offer a lady money to have a family with you.  Plus, the golden duo of comedy joins us in studio. The Sklar bros also known as the Brothers Sklar put it down. Hilarious guys who are doing a LOT is all you need to know. They are also here to talk about their new documentary, Poop Talk, which as you can imagine, is right up our lane. Did the bros involve Tom and Tina in their new doc? You'll just have to listen.  And we ask all kinds of twin questions and these guys are here for it. Lots and lots of laughs with two great comics.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Get your power tools and sex toys ready for a fun, informative episode! The Jeans are high and tight with this one. We examine DPC's and what REALLY counts. Christina has a recent one that she shares. Do you think it should be verified? Tommy has high standards for Starbucks. Just like his dad does for McDonald's. Is he turning into Top Dog?  Plus Blueban labels a file that makes the mommies laugh so hard we almost had to stop recording.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

J-J-J-Jean Unit! We found some adult stars who share some pretty gnarly stories about working in their industry and shooting their "Scenes."  PLUS Tommy gives us the scoop on his "Scenes." Will he shoot DP's? Boy/girl? Boy/Boy/Girl? We get into all the details of his dream coming true.  AND we go further into Love After LockUp. One of the greatest terrible shows of all time.  AND just when we thought a listener prank call couldn't be topped, a new Gold Standard is set in this episode. It's totally AMAZE.    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week Jean and Jean get together to Meow Down. Here's a cool thing we explore today: God + Swinging. It's pretty neat if you're willing to listen while a stranger has sex with you and your spouse. Just try it. Come on! Plus, we're ALL IN on Love after Lock Up and you should be to. You should also reach out to a felon right now (for a relationship!).  AND, one of your made an amazing call posing as Peyton Lafferty.  This episode is AMAZE!   Please support today's sponsors:  ForHim.com/house Stamps.com Code Word: MOM Brooklinen.com Code Word: MOM   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

He's tall, he's (very) young (looking) and he's coming for that title. Johnny Pemberton is in studio and you will find it SO amaze how well he can do and decipher accents.  Semen. We know it's great for your skin. Is it also super nutritious? Try it out! AND we may have found a new Burp Champ. Turn the volume WAY UP!   Show support by visiting our sponsors:  ZipRecruiter.com/house SaatvaMattress.com SquareSpace.com CODE: MOM RXBAR.com/momshouse CODE: MOMSHOUSE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's just Jean and Jean on this one. Your mother and I hang out and have the fun we always have when you're not around. Put your triple D swingers in a supportive bra, pull you jeans up and enjoy.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The man, the myth, the Maron. One of our all time faves is finally in the building. If you know and love podcasting, especially the kind involving comedians, you know Marc Maron. His wildly successful podcast WTF inspired a television series and hundreds of copycats to do what he has mastered.  He's funny, insightful, charming - look, we love him. So many laughs in this one with Would You Rather's, Fart Logic and so much more.    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh my goodness, Jean. We don't really think this episode needs a description. The great Bill Burr joins us and Hen has some amazing, hilarious thoughts, just like you thought he would.  We discuss who is a bigger psycho, Billy or Tommy.  PLUS, will Bill stop gender identifying his child? We hope so.  AND, will Bill laugh at a man getting crushed by a car? We have the footage.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Looks like some Ball Hogs are willing to share their secrets! We are willing to listen! We found a great new rapper and get this, he's using the name TOP DOG to work on his rhymes. Hope you end up supporting him.  PLUS - the reviews are in! People are loving DISGRACEFUL on Netflix. Everyone. 100% of everyone across the board. Not one negative review. We'll go over a few.  Pull your jeans up.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Women, it's time to reclaim your place in the world and also it's time to do something gross. Luckily we found someone who was willing to do both.  Also, are YOU a ball hog? Are you sure. Maybe you should Try it Out? The great Paul Gilmartin of the Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast joins us for some juvenile fun. We read emails, break down clips and basically act like 6th graders with him and we can't wait to do it again.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We like foreigners and we like cursing. When foreigners curse? Magical.  Plus, you have SERIOUS questions about Blind people and their standards, twin girls and their periods and now peeing is brought into the equation - does it affect farts?? Tommy's parents are about to retire. Wait until you hear about Top Dog's newly crushed adventure. And don't forget to check out DISGRACEFUL - Tom's new 1 hour special. It begins streaming worldwide on NETFLIX January 12.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ya'll know what it is. If you gotta brown you might as well go to where the brown ends up anyway, right? One man already figured that out and is talking to us from a gutter!  Plus, how cool is being a virgin? How cool is it to RECLAIM your virginity? Hold up, we are bundling ourselves in blankets from how cool the previous two questions are.  No more than 2 people should wear white if three people are hanging out together. That is an Australian rule that we explore. AND hilarious comic, podcaster and all around great guy, Josh Wolf joins us on the podcast today.  Pull your jeans up and enjoy this one.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

J-J-J-Jeans Unite! As we wrap up another year of tightly woven denim we want to give thanks to you, the little mommy. Hope you have a great holiday filled with love and rectal touches.  Here we have the last live show we did at the Irvine Improv a little while back.  Thank you all for being the best fans anyone could ever want.  We would fart in every one of your stockings if we could.    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After years of podcasting and hundreds of shows we thought, "How about a little intelligence on this show for a change? How about...a Doctor?" Luckily for all of us Dr Drew agreed (before knowing what our show is about) to come on and no description can do it justice.  He shared stories about his life and let us know what he thought about the many clips we play on this show.  All we can say is, we wish it never ended.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oh s**t, bro! The Weasel is in the house. The wiser weasel has some great advice and hilarious stories from his days as an MTV VJ and international movie star.  Plus we get in to whether or not FARTS are assault (they are) and if Tom can sue Tina (He can).  You looking for free rent? Come over to my house and beat me, pee on me. Try it out.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A few years back Tommy went to Asia (voluntarily, tho under some duress) and did stand up with some great guys: Chad Daniels, Pete Lee and the guest of this episode, J. Elvis Weinstein. The trip was filmed for a documentary that is available NOW. Please check out I NEED YOU TO KILL on itunes, Amazon or wherever you pay to buy and rent movies.  J. Elvis Weinstein is a comedian, writer, director and co-host of his own podcast, Thought Spiral with Andy Kindler.  This episode is full of laughs and love. Get all up in there like it's the night before your 70th birthday.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is as good as it gets. Joey Coco Diaz is in the building.  This lovable, fiery felon is sure to make you laugh as you sit by the fire and ask your mom if she will 69 your dad on his 70th birthday.  By the way, a bunch of those came in and they are HILARIOUS.  PLUS we talk CATS, Dad Boners and we read your emails.    Say No More, just listen, JEAN.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jeans Within! Jeans Within!  Looks like College Football isn't immune to the Jeans within your heart. Nick Saban has the full commentary.  PLUS, we got more tracks for you: Machines and She's Retarded - all different styles that you, the listener submitted.  AND we have a transracial woman, well, she sure sounds like one. What do you think?  Charles Manson is dead! John Daly hates water! and "Do you 69 at 69"?? Get into it, Jeans.    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When the mommies prank any media outlet with Mommy lingo we LOVE IT! Get em, jean! Amazingly, someone else hates Puking as much as Tina and Tina has some advice. Equally as astonishing, Adam Carolla is on the same page as Tina with...showering?! PLUS, we have She's Retarded remixes, Louie CK talk, profane coaches with kids and MORE!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices