Two Star Podcast

In which our heroes gorge themselves on cheese, survive food poisoning and Graham looks forward to his inevitable decline into dementia; all topped off with a return visit to the first dates restaurant!

In which our heroes go trainspotting. Graham suffers performance issues, Chris starts his own detective agency, Adam handles dead animals and Dan is on a train. I apologise for the (even by our standards) poor quality audio of this week’s episode but it was stitched together from 18 separate source recordings and Dan lives in … Continue reading Episode 94 – The Sound of Trains →

In which our heroes have a Little Mix / Election special. Adam has technical difficulties, Graham makes yet another human centipede, Chris attempts damage limitation with regards to his professional reputation and Dan drinks too much cider. Here is the Belgian music by Nino Debois to which we refer, it is lovely: https://open.spotify.com/track/05iwD9UjRVOh2hYFNFIvPi

In which our heroes attempt to be TOTAL LADS and MEGA TOP BLOKES for a whole episode by doing BANTZ and thinking about TITS and BEER.  We plan a new career for Ken Livingstone, offer PR advice to Pepsi, Adam does another car crash which is obviously his fault, Daniel reveals how John Major seduced him … Continue reading Episode 92 – LADS special →

In which our heroes delve into console classism. Graham goes into space, Chris makes a racist friend, Adam has twins and Dan bakes an actual cake.

In which our heroes fantasise about a sweaty Daniel in tiny shorts, stalk a listener, create a classic comic character and enjoy a plethora of listener feedback. Mostly this: http://jimllpaintit.tumblr.com/image/157657804219  

In which our heroes are stood up by Adam. Chris does some DIY, Graham demands to know what ratio of goodie to baddie Martin McGuinness was and Dan laments never having fucked anything historic.

In which Dan attends an orgy, Chris fails to void himself in his new toilet and we play silly thought games.

In which our heroes play Dungeons and Dragons, Chris is replaced by a robot at several points, Graham recovers from his crippling bum disease and Adam starts a petition to ban the podcast.

In which our heroes are down to 2. Chris calls his wife Babes and Graham goes on the bus. Both call out David from Birmingham for being a Bad Friend.

In which our heroes solve racism, sign up to enter the crystal maze, do goat yoga and generally reminisce about the 1980s, Daniel constructs a woman trap and Graham goes beyond creepy.

In which our heroes take legal advice, discuss the impending orange apocalypse and review bank account cancellation details.

In which Adam tries really fucking hard to edit out all the background noise but is thwarted by Dan banging around his room doing god-knows what for the entire recording.

In which our heroes experience technical difficulties, talk about Ru Paul’s Drag Race, Denzel Washington and Halal meat.

In which our heroes recall the past, attempt to predict the future, develop a relationship on ratemydick.net, identify a bellend of the week, fight off the norovirus, discuss flying whorehouses and did a fun quiz!

In which we meet our diversity quota, force Stavrina to become the mistress of Jacob Rees Mogg, join extremist vegans in plotting death to the west and enjoy our shared foreskin/medical toy fetish, all whilst Chris refuses to start or end the podcast properly.  FIGHT THE POWER!

In which our heroes are joined by superfan Stavrina who takes them on a racist tram ride.  Chris faints,  Graham drinks paint thinner, we set up a company to exploit racists, Stavrina learns who Jeremy Beadle is and reveals her bizarre toilet habits, all whilst  Adam gets increasingly frustrated with Chris for failing to start … Continue reading Episode 78 part 1 – Racist Bus Tours →

In which our heroes bravely struggle on without Dan. Graham argues with a Terminator, Chris takes some heroin and Adam brings down a major sports brand.

In which our heroes DDOS RateMyDick. Chris eats fancy coleslaw, Graham presents a caravan / robot quiz, Adam crashes his car and Dan tosses off over the Grand Tour.

In which our heroes rate some more dicks, grow white-man dreads, eat banana & bacon trifle and take a moral stand