Titan Up The Defense

Titan Up The Defense wishes you a Happy New Year, and Barbara Norris wishes you "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Our hosts take a look at the super trippy Defenders #3. Is the Nameless One really Australian? Can Namor be eaten? Will Dr. Strange start showing a modicum of self awareness? Tune in to find out! Also, snow angel tips! (Try not to do them face down, too chilly!) Stay tuned at the end for a special holiday song by Wockenfuss and Marcus Reynolds!

Happy Seasonal Holiday of your choice! Our hosts are a bit loopy on holiday cheer as they discuss: the secret origin of Punchy (the Hawaiian Punch spokesbeing), Goronn is no Fonzworth Bentley, Axel Rose is a wannabe Trigon, and the importance of proper comma use in the phrase "Don't give me that garbage, Dick!"

The Defenders head to Nepal to look for the Silver Surfer and, well... it doesn't go great. For anyone. The boys talk about silver man's Burden, fart etiquette, pre Boaz anthropology, and what to yell if you're drunk at a puppet show and the puppeteer is spending too much time on pre show exposition. Also, are the rest of the Defenders Dr. Strange's back up dancers?

It's Titans vs JLA! Cory's dad has some serious gravitas, Trigon's an evil Doogie Howser, and The Fearsome Five's plan makes no goddamn sense. There's some space wizards, some pretty good punches and kicks, and Hub pitches a comic in which Dr. Light sits in some pudding. All this, plus the grossest intro yet!

We tackle The Defenders #1. Hub discusses an episode of the Thundercats he vaguely remembers, the cops in this issue have a pretty good Hulk plan, Cory has a complicated relationship with Huey Lewis, and there are a couple of real ugly baddies. The important takeaway though, and I can't stress this enough, is that Hub is a human man from Earth.

Hey everybody, I think the sound on this one might be a little jacked. Had a ton of technical problems with the recording. The important thing is that Starfire's planet is dumb and she might have made the whole place up while looking at a spice cabinet. Hub makes a lot of dumb references to old school rap. Happy Thanksgiving!

Hub and Cory take a look at the Defenders in Marvel Feature #3, and dang it is one crazy issue! Our hosts go on (if this is even possible) more tangents than usual. There is a goofy ass space monster named Xemnu, some pie tossing Astronauts, a substitute Admiral, and Hub coins the phrase "poop-deck donnybrook". It's a real poop-deck donnybrook.

Wow. This is a weird time to put out a podcast. Perhaps there is value in distraction. I love you guys. Most of this was recorded a few days ago. Cory and Hub yammer on about soup, Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, and I think they mention New Teen Titans #2 in there somewhere. Some dude named Deathstroke makes his debut. Oh, and don't let Hub program your robots! For a lot of reasons.

It's a special spooky Halloween episode! I know, I know, it's a couple of days late, but isn't the fluidity of time the most frightening terror of all? I mean, next to werewolves. Other frights include: Dr. Strange potentially being a MRA, a second moon that's even worse than the original, and the Hulk being all hopped up on disco biscuits. Spooky!!

It's New Teen Titans #1! Hub and Cory disagree over which New Titan is the creepiest, but agree that this comic is super rad. Hub recommends the films Halloween III: Season of the Witch and Death Bed: The Bed That Eats People. Cory shows off his beautiful singing voice. Then they both talk a surprising amount of shit about the moon.

It's our first Defenders episode! Cory and Hub talk some Defenders! For a while. Then they get distracted. Our hosts discuss jujitsu on ecstasy, why Dr. Strange is the personification of privilege, and Hub pitches a Sub-Mariner/Aqualad buddy cop movie. Oh, and Cory does a pretty solid Maine accent!

Good golly, it's finally here! The first episode of Titan Up The Defense! Hub and Cory tackle the New Teen Titans' first appearance in DC Comics Presents #26. There's a lot to cover, so naturally our hosts drink too much "podcast juice" and talk about how much they love "The Golden Girls" and that one Nelson video. New podcast, same old podcast.

This is it! Our hosts wrap up their coverage of the Teen Titans by handing out some Awards for the best and worst that the series had to offer. Who will take home the coveted Golden Jupiter award for Best Dick Punch? Tune in to find out! We love you guys and we'll see you in a few weeks to start in on the New Teen Titans.

It's the Teen Titans final appearance in their original form. Hub and Cory are a little punchy. We get the results of the Octopus Collective Noun vote, Cory does some more stellar accent work, there's a whole bunch of Oliver Twist references, and we talk about how "Who's the Boss?" is the dumbest name for a TV show ever. Enjoy! Enjoy!

Cory's off in Atlantis babysitting for Aquababy, so Hub is joined by Leigh Marble. They take a look at Brave and the Bold #102. There's a bit more octopus talk (although not nearly enough), we see that Bob Haney's Batman is the best Batman, and see that passive resistance works best when accompanied by punches and zip-guns.

The final issue of the Titans' original series is here! We get a ret-conned team origin that has the teens fighting their mentors. Hub talks cephalopod semantics, Aquaman makes the best pirate, and Wonder Woman has the creepiest kryptonite.

As our hosts dive into the penultimate issue of the original Titans run they discuss such topics as 70's brassiere fashions, how islands work, battle of the Kelsey Grammers, and the fact that Hub knows dangerously little about Australia. Stay tuned after the closing music for another installment of Hostess Fruit Pie Theatre and a frank discussion about bear safety and breakaway pants that just might save your life.

The character assassination of Aqualad continues. Sigh. The Teen Titans West set up their new HQ at an In N' Out Burger, Captain Calamity gets caught in a bubblegum placenta, and maybe Hawk isn't the worst Hall brother after all. Mostly though, it's Aqualad getting short shrift. Boo!

Hub sings a lot more in this one than he usually does. Sorry. We reconnect with some old Titans, meet a couple of new ones, and learn that Hawk has enlisted in the navy and is now a seaman. Nothing funny about that. Lots of seamen in this issue. Lots. Sorry.

Cory talks about the fact that his childhood Taekwondo instructor had a very unfortunate name. That's the main thing I remember about this episode. Judging from the cover of the comic, I guess there's probably some skateboard guys or something? Oh, and Mal gets a sweet new outfit. Seriously though, that Taekwondo instructor's name was really something.