Titan Up The Defense

It's our birthday! We've been doing an episode a week of Teen Titan Wasteland for a whole year now! Huh, you'd think we'd be better at it by now. We celebrate this anniversary episode by drinking too much and talking about comedia dell'arte, old possibly fictional Sega CD games, juvenile delinquent fashion trends of yesteryear, and the fact that Hub is still very frightened of Nancy Reagan. Oh, and I think there might be something about a comic book in there somewhere. Enjoy!

Our hosts don their red velour track suits and tackle issue #47. For some reason, Speedy doesn't trust the creepy clown faced daughter of a super-villain who wants to be a Titan, Aquaman is a proto-underwater-WebMD, and Mal gets all biblical on a lame bad guy and his doppelgänger.

Sweet sassy molassy! It's our 50th episode! Rozakis cooked up a doozy for us. It's Violin vs. Shofar, Carpenters vs. Wings, and Hub's love of this comic book vs. Hub's irrational fear of Nancy Reagan! T-Keee-Yorr! Submit your Clooney/Marmaduke mashups and your original Casio shofar compositions to ttwasteland@gmail.com

Wow! This issue might be the weirdest one yet…and it isn't even written by Bob Haney! How can this be?! An angel punches Mal in the dick, Aqualad is back, and we see the formation of a rock band that features shofar solos as the Titans face their most deadly foes yet…a sextet of middle aged hoodlums opposed to gentrification! All this, plus another installment of Hostess Fruit Pie Ad Theatre.

A new era of Teen Titans begins! Off to kind of a rocky start to be frank, but on the plus side there's a pretty sweet Hostess Fruit pie ad. So there's that.

This is a weird, dark issue. Seriously. Also, Payton Manning dies in it which is odd seeing as it came out in 1973. But, it does feature some syrup chugging, Speedy trying to milk a bull, and some pudgy demons playing volleyball. Enjoy! Enjoy!

Hoo boy. I know I've said this before, but this might be the weirdest issue yet. We've got enchanted bugs and salamanders, Wonder Girl strangles another feline, there's a giant horned skull cave in the Yucatan jungle, and we meet a rich old hobo wizard butler named Johnny Carpetbag. He's not as cool as he sounds. Also, in the synopsis Hub makes a ton of references to the one Kafka book he finished. Spoiler: it ain't 'The Castle'.

The Titans journey to the ancestral home of Mr. Jupiter (the richest and therefor most trustworthy man in the world). We learn how to double kill a racist ghost, wonder if Speedy ever eats a bowl of catsup, and find out that blows to the head may cause amnesia, shrinking, or super powers.

So what we got here is a pretty straightforward story about cryptozoology, salmon malfeasance, mind control, and Scottish mysticism. Unfortunately, our hosts had a bit too much to drink, so they mostly talk about Ian Anderson, C.H.U.D.s, and whether or not farting into a pie has ever resulted in a fatality. Yeah. It's one of those episodes. Sorry.

We're back! And so is everybody's favorite temporally displaced cave-teen, Gnarrk! Points of discussion include: Kelsey Grammer, subterranean xenophobic Native American frat guys, Werner Hertzog, and the controversial Equal Butts Act of 1970.

I know the bar has been set pretty high, but this might be the weirdest issue yet. It has it all: drugs, balloons, robots, spies, cross dressing, go-go dancing, an imitation moose antler arrow, and a hero using his telepathic control of fish to cheat on a test. But mostly, balloons.

Thanks to our Patreon donors (www.patreon.com/ttwasteland), we've got another Bonus episode! Hub is joined by Comic Reflections host Nicholas Prom, and the two of them take a look at the Titan's appearance in World's Finest #205. Hub mispronounces some things, and we learn that Men's Rights Activists are created when Superman punches dragons. Stop punching dragons, Superman!!

The Titans tackle the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, Kid Flash starts a forest fire, and a young Oliver Queen almost certainly murders some folks. Cory displays some interesting arithmetic as it pertains to horses and their footwear.

Lordy lordy, look who's up to episode 40! It's us. We are. In this episode, we take a look at Teen Titans #36. It's a big issue with four different stories, so buckle in! We learn that Shakespeare left a bunch of stuff out of 'Romeo and Juliet', how to throw the worst birthday party ever, and how easy it is to convince Superboy you come from the future. Then it gets a little blue at the end. Sorry.

Thanks to our patreon donators this week we did an extra episode! Hub is joined by the most special of possible guests…his mom! They take a look at The Brave and the Bold #94 and discuss loyalty oaths, Commissioner Gordon's strange sense of humor, and how difficult it was to score decent plutonium at a liberal arts college. It's pretty tuna.www.patreon.com/ttwasteland

We got a doozy! This week our hosts look at Teen Titans #35, a 52 page issue with four separate stories. Talking points include: maybe don't name your kids after disfigured evil fictional characters, Tale Spin was a weird ass show, Hub gets mad at the movie 'Twins', and if cavemen worship you as a god and you still have an inferiority complex…get out a broom because it's Limbo Time! Oh, and Speedy shoots a parachute onto an elusive monkey.

In this dark and stormy episode some pretty spooky shit goes on. We discuss low rent Van Helsings, the perils of medieval Lichtenstein, and the fact that if your dog is 300 years old and trying to kill you, something might be up. Then Cory gets his air horn privileges revoked. Permanently.

This episode was recorded on Hub's birthday, so whisky consumption may have played a role. Y'know, unlike most of our episodes. Our hosts discuss the efficacy of tin foil hats, the return of Bob Haney, and whether or not dating the teenage caveman you are raising is creepy (it is). Then Hub asks for your money and feels super uncomfortable about it. But, rent is due so…money please!www.patreon.com/ttwasteland

Hot diggetty dog diggetty oh what you do to me! This issue has got it all! From the slapstick accidental murder of a libidinous cave-teen to a frank discussion of urban pole vaulting, this time traveling romp delights at every turn. Our hosts address such important issues as the origin of the sandwich, a plot hole in Back to the Future, and whether or not wearing a warthog carcass on your head is a good look. Enjoy! Enjoy!

It's our 35th episode! That means that our podcast can run for President of the USA! You know, if episodes were years and podcasts were US citizens. We discuss campus unrest, what represents appropriate tie width, and the heinous crime of mustache theft. There were a few minutes of audio that got lost in this one due to technical difficulties so just assume that during them your hosts were saying hilarious things that you agreed with. Thanks and Sorry!