Clarity On Fire

Instead of a new blog this week, we’re doing something special that we’ve never done before — releasing our latest live workshop as a bonus podcast episode! Technically the video replay of this episode expired last Friday, but we’re giving it a second life on the podcast. So if you didn’t get a chance to watch it the first time around, then you’re in luck! This workshop was called “How to find your passion in 2019,” but in hindsight we really wish we could have named it “The Amorphous Golden Blob.” You’ll find out why when you listen. ;) We talked about: Why so many people are both desperate to find their passion and also completely clueless about how to do it. What exactly brings on an existential crisis, and why your career is NOT an answer to that problem. What “passion” is and isn’t, and how to pursue it the RIGHT way. How to create a filter system for your life so that you can get unstuck and make decisions easily. The two major first steps you need to be taking before you try to find your passion or ma

Welcome to another episode of Dear Krachel, a monthly advice segment where we answer audience questions about life, career, relationships, existential angst, and anything that helps you become a more whole, fulfilled version of yourself. On this episode, we’re answering questions from: Charlie, a published author who can’t get past the feeling that they should be doing something more intellectually impressive, like medicine or law. How can they get over the need to do something other people find “worthy”? Jo, who has a “pipe dream” of opening a café. All her other ideas fall short in comparison, but it doesn’t seem realistic. Is it smarter to give it up or take a stab? Jesica, who believes that no one sees her and is tired of feeling invisible. How can someone magically be seen when they’ve been wearing an invisibility cloak for so long? After you’ve listened, leave us a comment to let us know if our advice for these three listeners resonated with you, too. Want to submit a question for our March episode of

I can’t tell you the number of times I sat hunched over a desk at some of my old jobs thinking… “What’s the point of this? What’s the point of this dumb report I’m writing? What’s the point of showing up to all of these countless meetings? What’s the point of staying here until 5:30pm every day?” And once I headed down that path of questioning … watch out! It quickly spiraled in a dramatic and existential way: “What’s the deeper meaning of any of this? What’s the point of working at all? This can’t be all, right? What are we all doing here anyway? What’s the purpose of life?” {Told you. That escalated fast. I think I missed my calling as a philosopher.} I never could come up with a sufficient answer (I mean, come on, that’s only the greatest life mystery of all time), but that never stopped my continued questioning. I wanted to feel like my time, energy, and effort meant something … like I wasn’t wasting all of this time for no good reason. I needed to see the bigger picture. If you’ve been questioning the po

Sometimes change happens super gradually, and sometimes in lightning strikes. Ryan’s was definitely the latter. Ten years ago, on a seemingly random walk through London, Ryan Mathie experienced a profound breakdown that became a huge breakthrough. Since then he’s been incredibly motivated to help other people see how much they’re getting in their own way (like he was, pre-breakthrough), and help them set themselves free. He really LOVES busting through blocks, so we challenged him to help our listeners bust through their oldest, crustiest problems. We picked submissions from six listeners for Ryan to tackle, and he totally delivered. We got into questions like: “I sabotage every job and relationship I enter into it. How can I get out of this vicious cycle?” “How can I stop feeling guilty for saying ‘no’ and having boundaries?” “How can I overcome the fear and perfectionism that keeps me from pursuing my creativity full-out?” “Should I say in my 22-year-long marriage? Or should I call it quits?” “How do I mov

Three years ago, I wrote this blog about things I wanted to want but didn’t actually care about. Reading it now, in 2019, was fascinating because a lot of these things I have NO energy or shame around anymore. So, what follows is my original blog from 2016, with (in the true spirit of a high school theater nerd) semi-dramatic asides from my 2019 self: I want to tell you that I’m a go-getter. I’d like for you to believe that I spend my days hustling, achieving, and generally “crushing it.”  (2019 aside: I actually DON'T want you to think this about me anymore. All of this implies that "crushing it" is the absolute pinnacle of life success, and I know now that it's so NOT). It’d be great if when you thought of me, you envisioned someone who easily and breezily works 8-10 hours a day. Someone who’s constantly on top of her inbox. Someone who has great hair and makeup and puts on real clothes and who juggles everything with a smile and a winning attitude.  (2019 aside: The number of hours you work per day is not

OK, procrastinators, it’s time to face the music. (Does anyone here actually NOT procrastinate?? First of all, how dare you? And second, kindly show yourself out). It seems like everyone is forever trying to overcome procrastination. A lot of us believe that if we just read enough “life hacking” articles we can force ourselves into submission. But if you couldn’t guess, we aren’t down with that. In this month’s Side Chat, we’re talking about: When procrastination means something deeper, and when it’s not a big deal When your intuition uses procrastination to try to send you a message, and how to interpret it Using education and research as a form of sneaky procrastination When procrastination masquerades as perfectionism How you can release the pressure so you don’t feel the compulsion to procrastinate as often After you’ve listened, leave a comment to let us know how you’ve been procrastinating how this episode resonated with you! FREE WORKSHOP ON JANUARY 28! We’re hosting a free, LIVE online workshop on M

I can’t help but notice that my gym has been more crowded this month. The lines at my organic grocery store have been longer, too. Several of my clients have felt a sudden surge of motivation to move, or start online dating, or apply to new jobs in earnest. I get it. There’s something sobering about entering a new year, especially if there are things you don’t necessarily want to repeat from the past year. The energy of newness and a fresh start is palpable, and it’s no wonder so many of us decide that NOW is the time to change our habits and improve our lives. There’s nothing wrong with using the energy of the new year to be more reflective and set goals for yourself. But we all know how New Year’s resolutions tend to go. Come February, I guarantee you that my gym and organic grocery store will be much quieter. The collective surge of motivation we all felt at the new year will melt away, and we’ll settle back into our old habits and routines. Not to depress you, but … to throw some stats into the mix, accor

The last few months of 2018 were pretty monumental for Marina. The turning point was in October when she met to a retreat with 300 other women hosted by powerhouse inspirational couple Glennon Doyle and Abby Wambach. She returned from the retreat having witnessed real-deal true love, which solidified the realization that her partnership wasn’t that, and that it was time to end things. But how do you break up in a more evolved, conscious way? Is it even possible? Rachel and Marina talked about… How she knew it was time to end her romantic relationship, and what you may need to ask yourself if you’re in a similar position. Why she and her ex decided to keep going to therapy and continue living together, post-breakup. How to respond to the people in your life who may not understand your relationship choices. The uncomfortable experience she had being one of only a handful of women of color at the personal development retreat. How she bravely voiced her discomfort and got a very unexpected response from the even

I feel like I need to offer a massive correction to all of the people, you included, I may have fooled over the years: I’m not actually all that tough. I know the resting bitch face (which is very handy in repelling unwanted small talk at the gym or grocery store) may have suggested otherwise. Or the fact that I’m blunt, loud, and opinionated. Or that I very clearly do not suffer fools. The exterior may look tough, but the inside is plenty soft and sensitive. And, like most of you, for a long time I thought that sensitivity equated to weakness. I thought the only way to get through hard times was to “tough it out.” Put my head down, plow through my problems, and take no mercy (on myself, most especially). You may be surprised to hear me say that 2018 was not my favorite year, by a long shot. And while all the gory details don’t need to be put on display (yet—I’m positive it’s a story I’ll tell when I have more hindsight and perspective), I can tell you that, very much against my will, I became a MUCH stronger

Welcome to another episode of Dear Krachel, a monthly advice segment where we answer audience questions about life, career, relationships, existential angst, and anything that helps you become a more whole, fulfilled version of yourself. On this episode, we’re answering questions from: Diana, who can’t figure out what her REAL Passion Profile is because her chronic health issues are getting in the way. How can she find career direction when her health is forcing her to live in a way that may not reflect who she REALLY is? Samantha, who’s juggling 3 different jobs and side gigs, none of which are completely fulfilling. And yet, on the other hand, there would be downsides to letting any of them go. How can she circumvent this catch-22 and find real fulfillment? Amber, who is burnt-out and has lost the passion she used to have for her job. That said, she can’t leave because she has to provide for her kids. How can she recover from burn-out when her circumstance may not change any time soon? After you’ve listen

It’s our last podcast episode of the year! So, we figured what better time than now to bring on an expert who can help us predict the future, right?? We sat down with our friend Madeleine—astrologist, tarot reader, and intuitive extraordinaire—and asked her all about… Some astrology 101 – What’s the difference between the sun, moon, and rising signs? Why do some people gel with their sign and others don’t? Tarot – What is it? Where did it come from? And why is it useful? Why are we all so obsessed with predicting the future? And when can that totally backfire on us? How changeable is the future, exactly? What’s the deal with free will? What’s the difference between a real-deal psychic/intuitive and a faker? What’s in store for us in 2019? What can we expect coming around the bend? Plus, she whips out our charts on the episode and gives us a quick compatibility reading! This is a great episode for any of you who’ve always been intrigued by this stuff but, like us, don’t know how to actually use it. After you

Paul knew he was a pretty self-aware person — he’d been on a personal development path for years — but he had no idea just how far he could go on this journey until he became a parent. Having kids, he quickly realized, turned out to be the most intense crash course in personal growth he could have ever signed up for. It’s made him redefine just about everything in his life — his values, his intentions, his concept of success, his sense of purpose, his relationship to his work, his sense of confidence and inner solidarity. Nothing in his life has been untouched by becoming a parent. It’s been a wild ride and nothing like Paul expected, but it’s also put his life into perspective in the most clarifying, fulfilling way. In an effort to become the best person and dad he can be, he’s been on a quest to learn everything he can about conscious parenting, which he explains and gives plenty of examples of in this week’s podcast. Listen in to hear Paul share his journey with us in this week’s interview with a normal pe

A client of mine, Jack, has been entrepreneurially minded for his whole life. He’s an idea machine, and he’s constantly coming up with cool business ideas. He can’t help it — it’s just how his brain works. Naturally, he’ll get excited about a new idea and want to share it with people. As soon as inspiration hits (which is frequently), he’ll text his brother or call his mom or tell the coworker on the other side of his cube. Their reactions aren’t always what he’d hoped for. In fact, they’re usually pretty discouraging. They’ll ask a million questions about how it will work — questions he can’t yet answer, since he’s still working out the idea in his mind — or they’ll jump to all the reasons why it’s risky or impractical or straight-up impossible. Usually, after these deflating conversations, Jack will feel less enthusiastic about the idea, and often he’ll end up abandoning it altogether. When Jack came to coaching, he told me he was afraid he’s all ideas and no action. He was feeling like maybe he wasn’t cut

Quick question—Have you ever said (or thought) something about your career like … “Something feels off, but I can’t figure out why.” “I should like this job, but I just don’t.” “Am I broken? Maybe I’ll never enjoy working.” “Has everyone else figured out something I haven’t?” If you’re nodding along with that, you definitely need to hear this conversation we had about the 4 Passion Profiles. (Make sure you’ve taken the Passion Profile Quiz first!). We talked about how we came up with the quiz, what it measures, the differences between the 4 potential results, and how to use your Profile to find your career direction. After you’ve listened, leave us a comment to let us know your Passion Profile result and how it resonates with you! LAST DAY TO SAVE SOME $$$ Today, December 14, is the LAST day to get $50 off the Passion Profile Short Course with code HOLIDAY. The PPSC is like a recipe for your career path. It’s the “secret sauce” that takes the thought out of trying to plot your career direction and prevents

When I was 7, I told anyone who asked that when I grew up I was going to be a journalist. I loved reading and writing, and sometimes I’d flip my mini indoor trampoline on its end and sit behind it and force a babysitter to “watch me on TV” as I read my version of the evening news. When I was 15, I altered that to “journalist or lawyer” (because my teen years were the ones where I proved, mostly to my poor parents, just how good I was at driving my points home, debating anything and everything, and never backing down from a fight). When I was 19, I decided to major in Public Relations because it was the closest thing to journalism that my school offered. And even though I was far from sold on either public relations or journalism, I didn’t know what else I wanted to do. And when I was 22, I flirted with the idea of becoming an archaeologist, mostly because I’d majored in art history and loved it and had also watched The Mummy a lot as a kid. Since then I’ve played around with the idea of becoming, in no partic

Welcome to another episode of Dear Krachel, a monthly advice segment where we answer audience questions about life, career, relationships, existential angst, and anything that helps you become a more whole, fulfilled version of yourself. On this episode, we’re answering questions from: Amy, a young woman in her late teens who’s ready to quit some childhood hobbies, but whose parents are reluctant to let her. How can she convince them that she’s serious and that it’s time to let go? Erica, who’s eager to quit her job in corporate America and start her own business, but has no idea how to get started. She knows she needs help, but doesn’t know what to ask for. Should she work with a career coach? Or a business coach? Maybe a consultant? Or do an online course? We help her sort through the options. Rebecca, who just got laid off and has no intention of ever working for someone else again … but knows her family will blow a lid when she tells them. Is it OK for her to lie to them over the holidays to avoid a fami

The following is a trick question: Would you rather feel miserable, or would you rather feel neutral? I get it. No one really wakes up in the morning wanting to feel miserable. If you had your choice between feeling misery — you know, the existential angst and the “I can’t do this for one more day” kind of stuff — and feeling indifferent, we all know which one of those sensations sucks less. Feeling neutral about your circumstances may not be fun, but it’s not awful. And honestly … that’s exactly the danger of feeling neutral. Like it or not, misery is motivating. If you feel like crap, you’re more likely to have a fire lit under you. You have nothing left to lose (since you can’t really feel worse), so you’re more willing to take risks and make changes and do something. But when life is "just OK" … there’s practically zero motivation. And without any sort of big incentive to change, you can find yourself stuck in a no man’s land — where life isn’t getting worse, but it’s not getting any better either — for y

Have I ever told you guys about the time I fired my therapist? Well, to cut to the chase—she was god-awful. I left every session with her feeling worse about myself than when I’d walked in. Personal development is hard work, but it probably shouldn’t make you cry for hours after the session is over. Honestly, that experience was part of what cemented my desire to become a coach. I knew I wanted to help people move forward with their lives, rather than continually delve into the past (which is what I perceived therapists as doing, for the most part). But that experience didn’t turn me off of therapy entirely. In any profession (coaching absolutely included) you’re bound to find incredibly talented people and god-awful people. Kristen and I have been dying to talk to a therapist of the “incredibly talented” variety for a long time—we’ve been compiling questions for years! And thankfully, one of my clients recently introduced me to her therapist, Sarah Rossmiller, who came on the podcast to talk to us about: Wh

You know that uneasy feeling you get when you know you’re doing something that’s not good for you … but you keep doing it anyway? Maybe you’re staying in a job or a relationship that isn’t really working, or you keep making excuses for why you don’t have time to go to the gym. Whatever’s causing you to be out-of-alignment, it gives you that awful, knot-in-your-stomach, uncomfortable-in-your-own-skin, shifty kind of feeling. I’ve been feeling that way a bit lately. As a coach who’s trained to intuitively pick up on these inconsistencies in other people, it’s particularly uncomfortable to get this feeling myself. I realized I haven’t been the best at walking my own talk in one major way the past few months, so I’m outing myself in the name of getting back on track. I’m forever telling my clients to pay less attention to what they don’t want, and to focus more on what they do want. In other words, stop complaining about what’s not working and start noticing and appreciating what is working. Why? Because what you

Calling all fellow bookworms, library nerds, and general lovers of literature — it’s time for another book club episode of the podcast! Whenever there are five Fridays in a month, we devote the extra Friday to a book that we can’t get enough of. This time we decided to have a conversation about one of our absolute favorite self-help books of all time, Outrageous Openness by Tosha Silver. We talked about: How this book answers the BIG questions, like: “How do I stop worrying?” and “How can I know that things will work out?” How you can start believing that the Universe (or whatever you choose to call it) actually has your back. Why nothing is too small for “divine assistance,” and how to ask for help and signs along your path. Why delays and things not going according to plan are actually a good thing. Why the odds—even when they feel super low and not in your favor—don’t matter at all when you practice outrageous openness. Our personal stories of letting the Universe lead the way, and the crazy/funny synchro