Guy Friends Podcast

This episode is a doozy! The Guy Friends get an email from a married listener who wants to give his wife of 12 years the lesbian experimentation she's always wanted. Think that's heavy? It's nothing compared to... THE TOOTHBRUSH LONG CON. Has a listener become ensnared in a web of sex, deceit, and Oral-B Pro-Flex™ toothbrushes? Her guy *claims* that the extra toothbrush in the bathroom is all for her. But where did it come from? What angle is he playing? Is that... LIPSTICK on the handle?! Tune in for the craziest caper the Guy Friends have ever encountered. RL Grime Hey Ma (RL Grime Remix) - Cam'ron Ft. Juelz Santana https://soundcloud.com/rlgrime/hey-ma-rl-grime-remix-camron CC BY 3.0

Pack up the U-HAUL and break out your sneakers — it's a whole episode about sharing space. A listener was granted Late Sleeping Rights by a dude she's boinking. But do Late Sleeping Rights also confer Showering Privileges under the Articles of Copulation? Is it fair and reasonable to commandeer a towel in homo absentia, or does permission to do so need to be written and notarized? Justice Ginsburg weighs in. This begs the greater philosophical question before humankind: when do you move in together? thequartermaine The Notorious B.I.G. - Biggie Don't Deserve You (The Quartermaine Blend) CLEAN https://soundcloud.com/thequartermaine/biggie-dont-deserve-you-the CC BY 3.0

Day 57: Supplies are running low, morale's even lower. You've been alternating thumbs to keep up, but you're not sure how long you'll last before the Swipe Madness takes you. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a familiar face pops up among the sea of Mikes and Brandons: it's a dude you're cool with IRL. Is this... salvation? Or the broken writhing of a dying madwoman? And your dating profile: is it bad? Mr.Masher Hey Ya vs. Birdman, Drake, Lil Wayne https://soundcloud.com/mr-masher-1/hey-ya-vs-birdman-drake-lil CC BY 3.0

You know what's cooler than a million dollars? Dating advice. Remember the early days of Facebook? Remember the poke? Remember creeping on people's posts to figure out whether they were fucking? The Guy Friends wade into the varied and tribal nature of modern messaging platforms. Is the Facebook message still the laughable domain of the drunk and the thirsty, and should we avoid it when asking each other out? Give us your BBM PIN to find out! jamiemclean Chingy - Alwayz Be My Balla (Jamie McLean Mashup) https://soundcloud.com/jamiemclean-1/alwayz-be-my-balla-jamie-mclean-mashup CC BY 3.0

The Guy Friends are all back in the same city! Now you can ship items on our Amazon Wishlist to the same address for added convenience. Our first question is a rare one from a ~straight male~ struggling with commitment issues — he can't get an older woman to settle down for him. Is she stringing him along? Is there some way he can wrangle this into satisfactory situation for everyone? And a listener is disappointed that her dude isn't making the most of himself. Can she nudge him into putting down the bong and picking up a book? Or even just a novella? The Guy Friends spark up a blunt... and honest discourse of this all-too-common mindset affecting young people these days. SupaflyTNT Getting Back Together Is Just A Dream (Taylor Swift x Nelly) https://soundcloud.com/supaflytnt/getting-back-together-is-just CC BY 3.0

Woe! 'Tis the last episode produc'd by our own Lauren Chooljian. Will the Guy Friends finally discover her embezzling? Nope! Is there a good way to bestow a ~teachable moment~ unto a whiny, self-involved dude you're seeing? When someone suffers from inertia and poor perspective, is it worth your time to hold up a mirror? We're all just hurtling through space on a doomed rock, but the Guy Friends give their two cents all the same. And weddings — we all hate them. But what's the best way to hide your scorn? Should you obscure your face with an Eyes Wide Shut mask, or just a simple wedding veil of your own? Tune in for this summer's hottest hate fashions. DJ Hasan Music DJ Hasan ft. Conor Maynard - Good Ones Go (Organ Piano Mix) https://soundcloud.com/djhasanmusic/dj-hasan-ft-conor-maynard-good CC BY 3.0

The Guy Friends are back from vacation, and ready to get sand in your couch! Just how much personal hygiene is necessary between sex partners? It's a conundrum as old as antiquity, when a Roman dude could bone as many as V people within a tick of the sundial. Is a full shower necessary? And how *long* of a shower? What if it was just second-and-a-half base, yesterday? The Guy Friends supply yet another patented rubric. And few areas of the human experience have generated as many memes as the intersection of human height and online dating. "I'm 5 ft, 9 in., JUST SAYIN!!" But what are we really *saying* here, Madison? And when a man neglects to provide any height at all — what does that say? The Guy Friends unpack these statements. Mastamonk Fetty Wap-Trap Queen (Mastamonk Remix) https://soundcloud.com/mastamonk1/fetty-wap-trap-queen-mastamonk-remix CC BY 3.0

APRIL FOOLS! We have a brand new episode, and the jokes on you — our advice is questionable. A listener struggles with the... ethics? Technicalities? Standard operating procedures? Of sleeping with a dude who still lives with his ex on the tails of their recent break-up. And meeting via Skype before an actual first date — is it reasonable for someone to ask to see you before pad see ew? Chad Hugo St. Vincent - Digital Witness - (Chad Hugo Remix) https://soundcloud.com/hugo-chad/st-vincent-digital-witness-chad-hugo-remix CC BY 3.0

How do you continue to get dates with someone? A listener is always falling short of the ~coveted fourth date~ with dudes she likes, and gets asked out by dudes she doesn't. What's the secret passphrase that obligates a man to see you again? Somehow the Guy Friends have never answered this in their three years of podcasting — we appreciate your patience. And a listener's boyf feels weird about letting her take him out on slightly fancier dates because he earns much less. Despite her pleas to fance-it-up only occasionally & on her own dime, he can't allow her to upgrade him. What's a girl gotta do to go out on the town? Jennifer Lopez feat. Ja Rule - I'm Real [Remix] / Rear View [Alex Dicconson's Quick Mash] Alex Dicconson http://soundcloud.com/alexdicconson/jennifer-lopez-feat-ja-rule-im-real-remix-rear-view-alex-dicconsons-quick-mash CC BY 3.0

A listener was seeing a dude for literal *months* — exchanging gifts, meeting friends, having a blast — until one day he goes silent immediately before some big plans. What transpires after boggles the mind. Can the Guy Friends decode the mystery of this hyper-ghost? And actual trigger warning: a listener describes her run-in with careless BDSM on a Tinder date. La Roux - In For The Kill (Broadway Slim Remix) PicksterOne https://soundcloud.com/picksterone/la-roux-in-for-the-kill CC BY 3.0

Were you on the edges of your respective seats? After the horrors of the dreaded Set II, we were too. The Guy Friends tackle the remaining 12 questions of the 36 questions posed by the NYT's infamous "To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This" article: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/modern-love-to-fall-in-love-with-anyone-do-this.html Tune in for the climactic climax, featuring a hashtag rare thirty-sex seconds-long It's Never Too Kate! Ne-Yo Miss Independent (DJ Stephen Remix) DJ S2M https://soundcloud.com/stephen-mohammed/ne-yo-miss-independent-dj CC BY 3.0

The Guy Friends are back to tackle a recent article that made quite a stir across the Infonet. Is it possible to fall deeply, madly, & truly in love with a stranger by answering 36 questions and staring at someone for a bit? http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/modern-love-to-fall-in-love-with-anyone-do-this.html Join the Guy Friends as they take a look at this study and its questions across two episodes. You can even follow along: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html WAIT, before we start — you're not into destination weddings, are you? Hues Corporation - Rock the Boat (Javier Estrada Bootleg) djjavierestrada https://soundcloud.com/djjavierestrada/hues-corporation-rock-the-boat CC BY 3.0

Happy New Year! In celebration of the Earth’s birthday, we made it a brand new episode. You’re welcome! A listener was recently exposed to a new term by some guy friends of her own: “cohabbing,” v. gerund, “to spend quality time with a partner one lives with.” This has her wondering: just how accepting are dudes of their bros spending QT with their live-in QTs? And yet another QT is in the early stages of dating a man who is slightly younger than she is — by a whopping two years! In her mind she feels that age ain’t nothing but a number, but in her *heart* she feels that this dude is too immature. Just how OK is it to fret over such a slim gap? The Weeknd ft. Drake & TLC - "Gone" [DJ 2o1 rmx] DJ2o1 https://soundcloud.com/2o1/9-the-weeknd-ft-drake-tlc-gone CC BY 3.0

The Guy Friends are back to celebrate that fateful time, ages ago, when a single question provided #content for eight miraculous episodes... A listener is seeing a new dude, and she can tell he's into her — so into her, he wants to collaborate with her on a ~creative exploit~. She's concerned that it may be a poor decision in both areas. Is it reasonable that she's hesitant to Rodger her Hammerstein? And a listener started to get to know a group of friends — one of whom she went on a date with. The date was a flop, but she wants to continue bro-ing down with the whole crew. There seems to still be a little tension there — what's the best way to handle it? Mister Luke O'Hearn Spice Girls - Wannabe (Mister Luke's "Dem Spice Grrlz Doe" Edit) https://soundcloud.com/mister-luke-ohearn/spice-girls-wannabe-mister CC BY 3.0

The Guy Friends return with a study in expectations. It’s not that we want you to listen — we just want you to want to listen. A listener visits a dude she’s sort of seeing in his own city, and he doesn’t pay for anything. The independent human in her wants to think that’s fine, but she’s having trouble reconciling the deeply-ingrained notion that he should at least offer. Is it OK to expect him to cover 51% or more of a check every now and again? Or should she get used to the new and double-sided frontier of ~ungendered dating norms?~ And a listener wonders: what if *she’s* the one who doesn’t want to use a condom? Is Black Friday too early to unwrap your present? All Night Long (Darth and Vader Feat. LMFAO, Ellie Goulding, Mann) 3LAU https://soundcloud.com/3lau/all-night-long CC BY 3.0

We’re back, and fucking FULL of Whoppers. Yes: WHOPPERS. How much is too much Mom-talk? A listener has had to endure an earful of Mom-centric chatter. But is she wrong to want to change the subject? The Guy Friends are famous for their pro-Mom stance, but even they can agree there’s a limit. A first date goes great — how soon is too soon to setup a second? Is it better to play it cool, or stay on top of your schedule? The Guy Friends — in their Branson-like wisdom — advocate for the latter. And what to do when a guy takes the female orgasm as a challenge? When a dude can’t see the forest through but a single tree, how can you convince him that not all sex needs to follow the same script — and that that’s OK? Hideaway - Kiesza (HouseMeanzHouse Bootleg) House Meanz House https://soundcloud.com/scott-mcl/hideaway-kiesza-housemeanzhouse-bootleg CC BY 3.0

We’re back, and more juvenile than ever! What do you do when the guy you’re seeing is an extremely picky eater? A listener’s dude is reluctant to eat outside the box. How should you handle it when someone’s food preferences are starting to impact Date Night… and possibly even your attraction to someone? Is this an area of compatibility that can be worked on? And finally we discuss… ~shudder~... weak kiss game. Latch - Disclosure Ft. Sam Smith (Edwah Dubstep Remix) https://soundcloud.com/edwah-radio/latch-disclosure-ft-sam-smith-edwah-dubstep-remix Edwah Radio [CC BY 3.0]

The Guy Friends are back to help you get a grip, on all kinds of stuff! A listener is still mad about a semi-betrayal from two years ago. A seasonal gig at a camp brought her close to a coworker — who then faded out to be with another girl! Fast-forward to today: despite having a boyfriend of her own and the original guy being long gone, she cannot bear to be around this other woman. How can she best handle her issues with this person? What do you do when water under the bridge still roils with the hate of a hundred storms? A hundred!!! And a listener has been monitoring her boyfriend’s personal lubricant levels. The rate of... ~depletion~ has her concerned. But is she LUBE-SHAMING him? The Guy Friends sliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide in to deliver some wisdom. "Ride Wit Me" Acxethedeadpoet (instant crak mixtape) ACETHEDEADPOET https://soundcloud.com/acethedeadpoet/ride-wit-me CC BY 3.0

The Guy Friends have returned with our first remote, ~tape-synced~ episode. We’re sorry for the… ...delay! A listener’s not-extremely close friend has some serious thoughts about her bringing a plus one to her wedding: she’s demanding it! Is it strange — boorish, even — to demand that she schlep a buddy? Who among her friends should she select as obligatory arm candy. Surprisingly, the Guy Friends manage to provide a totally reasonable calculus for bringing a bro in tow. And a listener wants to sleep with a foreign friend whenever he’s in town on business. He’s also down, but wants it to be more than just a FWB-type situation. He wants a fully-fledged, long distance poly relationship. Because he’s also married. Writing more might just confuse you — just listen in, folks!

The Creep-Out Cock-Block, and Fly Fishing Out Your Bait & Tackle After a move-related month-long hiatus, the Guy Friends are back, reminding you to be careful what you wish for... A listener is re-watching True Detective with a guy she just started boning. As their second Sex n’ Watch approaches, she’s starting to grow concerned about a particularly disturbing scene that she knows is coming up in the next episode. Is it possible that this uncomfortable moment (which the Guy Friends have not seen) might give her lover’s willy the willies? What’s a good way to bounce back from non-sexy adult content and into the bedroom? We round our return out with a hyper-detailed discussion on underwear flies. Didn’t you miss us? Sam Smith -When It's Alright (Tomcraft) (Soulblime) CC BY 3.0