On The Brighter Side

In this interview with Katie Runyan of Faithful Fling, we explore how faithful love gets hotter when you add playful novelty. Katie shows how role play dates can break roommate syndrome, wake up the erotic mind, and turn ordinary nights into lasting memories.• safety and novelty as twin needs for desire• Katie’s origin story and the first costume• awkwardness as fuel for laughter and bonding• tapping the erotic mind with small cues• how to invite your partner to try it• preventing unmet expectations with separate guides• pursuer role swaps and first‑date butterflies• simple follow‑ups that create inside jokes• fringe dates for couples who prefer “themselves”• building a cadence for pattern interruptsVisit www.faithfulfling.com and get your first role play date is FREE for 21 days. If you don’t love it, cancel before day 21 and you won’t be charged.Send us Fan Mail

In this interview with Jessa Zimmerman, we reframe desire discrepancy as normal, not a defect, and show how couples can move from pressure to play with clear tools, language, and empathy. She explains proactive vs reactive desire, why “no” should be celebrated, and how to build a buffet of intimate options.• normalising libido differences across long-term relationships• shifting control dynamics away from pressure and blame• identifying health, stress, and relational obstacles to desire• understanding proactive and reactive desire patterns• starting with higher desire partner’s mindset and behaviours• redefining sex as shared pleasure over goal-driven outcomes• using the playground metaphor and “maybe” starts• broadening options between all and nothing• handling disappointment without punishment or withdrawal• practicing self-validation to reduce validation seeking• creating a safe container for exploration and communication• restoring hope through shared responsibility and small winsYou can go to www.intimac

In this week's episode, I'm talking about how to keep sex and connection from turning into a pressure-filled project by bringing back laughter, flirting, and lightness. I share why playfulness builds emotional safety and give three simple ways to create more “luck” in your love life. • how seriousness turns intimacy into pressure • why laughter signals safety and reconnects couples • shifting from obligation to anticipation with small playful moments • the lap dance story and why imperfection can spark desire • three practical tools: flirt more, revive inside jokes, do something silly together You can download the Get Lucky Guide by going to https://monicatanner.com/getlucky. Send a text

This week I explore why desire differences are normal, how pressure shuts things down, and how pursuit and emotional safety rebuild connection. I share the Yes And method, practical scripts, and a simple weekly check-in to help couples design intimacy that works for both of them.• naming the rejection–pressure cycle• spontaneous desire vs responsive desire• why pressure kills desire and pursuit builds it• safety, choice, and autonomy as turn-ons• the Yes And method for intimacy talks• sample pursuit phrases and script swaps• a 20-minute weekly intimacy check-in• using green-light lists to set contextDownload the Get Lucky Guide at https://monicatanner.com/getluckySend a text

I'm kicking off a March series on “getting lucky” by showing why great intimacy isn’t luck at all. Real emotional safety and compassionate curiosity create the right context for desire to grow, and I'm giving you my Green Light Conversation tool to help you start.• debunking the myth of effortless, spontaneous intimacy• how stress, resentment, and distraction cool desire• why desire needs safety and play to thrive• what blocks safety: criticism, pressure, feeling unseen• the rejection–pressure spiral between partners• shifting from obligation to compassionate curiosity• green light questions that build anticipation• listening without fixing or defending• emotional safety as real foreplay• practical ways to reduce pressure and increase appreciation• preview of desire discrepancy and upcoming interviewGo to https://monicatanner.com/getlucky to download the Get Lucky GuideSend a text

Today I welcome Dr Gary Chapman to explore why love languages still matter and how dialects and personality shape whether love actually lands. We share a simple love tank ritual, a practical daily connection plan, and ways to listen without fixing so both partners feel seen.• why dialects within the five love languages change impact• the attitude of love versus manipulation• the 0–10 love tank question and follow‑up• listening as posture, not problem‑solving• tailoring love to introvert and extrovert needs• the 20‑minute daily check‑in, weekly dates, annual getaway• seasons of marriage and updating dialects over time• stories showing sincerity missing without fluency• practicing a language you never received growing upGo to www.5lovelanguages.com to take the free quiz or the premium assessment and to purchase Love Languages That Matter MostSend a text

This week, I'm sharing how compassionate curiosity turns conflict into connection and why understanding your partner does not require you to agree. Practical scripts, clear definitions, and real examples show how to stay on the same team while holding different views.• use post‑Valentine’s expectations and disappointment as a chance to communicate• compassionate curiosity as the path to intimate friendship and passionate partnership• difference between understanding and agreement• story of taking a friend’s side and how stance changes feedback• faith shift case study and fear of being “tainted” by new views• ping pong versus softball dialogue and why pacing matters• both‑and language with sample phrases and questions• applying the tools to money, parenting, sex, and tech boundaries• building safety, respect and teamwork without forced consensusMake sure that if this episode was helpful, you share it with a friend or leave a review.Send a text

This week, I'm talking about why February magnifies stress and how silent expectations turn Valentine’s Day into a painful guessing game. I share three steps, speak hopes out loud, name no‑gos, and define success together, plus simple date ideas and thoughtful, affordable gifts.• February’s emotional slump and money stress• how silent expectations create resentment• say what you want in clear, specific words• name what you don’t want and offer alternatives• collaborate on a shared definition of success• low‑cost at‑home and out‑of‑home date ideas• practical gifts: date night journal, restocks, roleplay• honesty and safety as the path to intimacyGo to https://monicatanner.com/51Questions and download some questions there.Look up the Date Night Journal on Amazon or send me an email and I will send one right to you. Restock or try Evree Intimate Massage Cream and get 14% off by using the code: LOVE at check out.  https://evreesensation.com/moniOr try a subscription to Faithful Fling Role-Play Dates here: Fa

This week, I'm sharing why generous effort can still miss the mark and how a simple meaning check turns intention into real connection. Practical scripts, everyday examples, and a clear path to feel loved without guesswork.• early chemistry fading into real differences• clashing stories and nervous system triggers• feeling unloved versus being unloved• problem solving versus emotional presence• love as subjective; unique blueprints• five love languages as a starting point• the meaning check skill and script• starting small and scaling to bigger topics• appreciation to reinforce what works• monthly reset to review what landsIf this episode resonates, please write a review for the podcast and share it with someone you love who could use this information.Send us a text

In this interview with Dana Che, we break the myth that happy couples don’t fight and show how conflict, handled well, can deepen intimacy. We share mindset shifts, practical language, and simple steps to move from defensiveness to understanding.• redefining conflict as a growth path• the costs of avoidance and silent treatment• modern marriage and renegotiating roles• separating facts from feelings and stories• understanding over agreement as the goal• curiosity and vulnerability as a creation formula• practical I statements and safer starts• building trust to share real fears• how to be genuinely curious, not performative• scripts and next steps for tough talksCheck out Dana's new book here: Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples, https://TriedAndTrueMarriageBook.comIf you enjoyed this episode, please be sure to share it with a friend and join the conversation on Instagram.Send us a text

Today, I'm talking about how boundaries are a loving skill that prevents resentment and creates safety, respect, and passion. Clear, simple steps show how to set limits without threats, using everyday examples and a weekly challenge to practice.• emotional regulation steps that precede boundary setting• common end-of-life regrets linked to people pleasing• redefining boundaries as self-care rather than control• how resentment replaces intimacy without clear limits• the mesh analogy: connected and protected• the sock example as a practical boundary script• structure: if or when X, I will Y• choosing action over explanation to reduce conflict• setting boundaries for tone, volume, and time protection• weekly challenge to pick one recurring frustrationIf this episode was helpful for you, I would love if you would share it with a friend or a coworker or a loved one, somebody that you feel like could benefit from these relational skills.Let me know what healthy boundaries you are setting this week. If you have

This episode speaks directly to one of the most exhausting parts of being in a relationship: realizing you can’t control your partner and wondering what that means for you.For a lot of people, that realization feels defeating. Like your hands are tied. Like you’re stuck waiting or reacting or hoping things improve.This week I talk about why not being able to control your partner does not mean you are powerless. In fact, your real influence in a relationship has very little to do with managing or controlling other people and how you manage yourself, which is the real flex. I also mention:• the regret of managing others instead of living authentically• what you can control versus what you can only influence• common control tactics that backfire in relationships• regulation over reactivity to build safety and trust• the three-step power move: pause, name, choose• my real-life gym moment from this morning• aligning responses with values and intentionsGo to https://monicatanner.com/call and let's see if you&a

I'm setting a bold focus for this new season: choose who we will be in hard moments and build relationships with no regrets. I share five common end-of-life regrets, turn them into learnable skills, and give you a clear assignment to craft one specific intention for the year.• the five most common relationship regrets are: silence, absence, guarded love, inauthenticity, unrepaired ruptures• skills for honest expression with loving power• rituals for presence and attention• vulnerability as a trainable skill• authenticity with empathy over people-pleasing• relationship cycles: harmony, disharmony, repair• spotting losing strategies like withdrawal, defensiveness, perfectionism• writing one specific, behavioral intention for hard moments• commit to practice and celebrate reps, not perfectionSo if you feel like this is your year to really start working on your relationships, then I would encourage you to go to https://monicatanner.com/call and book a complimentary, no obligation, 30-minute relationship brea

A great massage shouldn’t end with a mad dash to the shower. This week, I'm talking with Justin and Natalie Weeks, the creators of Evree, to share how a single sticky night pushed them into a six-year journey across labs, ingredients, and countless iterations to build a truly different kind of product: a natural massage cream that melts at body temperature, glides like a dream, doubles as a safe intimate lubricant, and leaves skin soft instead of slick.We dig into why massage oils and lubricants are usually kept separate and why that causes real problems for couples. Many oils aren’t vaginally safe and can trigger irritation, while a lot of lubes feel clinical and messy when used for full-body touch. Justin and Natalie explain how they insisted on 100% natural ingredients, no sugars, and subtle flavors like coconut lime and pineapple orange that smell like the real thing. The whipped, spa-like texture avoids the drip-and-spill of pumps, and the clean finish means you can roll over and nap instead of stri

We explore how prolonged stress can turn small cracks into deep canyons and how couples can explore those canyons together with empathy, curiosity, and clear practices. Tony shares tools for moving from emotional reactions to intentional responses and offers a hopeful path to deeper intimacy.• defining prolonged stress and why it magnifies small issues• emotional intensity scale and spotting old wounds in new conflicts• switching from reaction to response with inner child work• grace as empathy plus curiosity in daily moments• cooperation over compromise and playing on the same team• disciplines as guardrails for intimacy and calm• seasonal family vision and renegotiating roles• code words, listening without fixing, and safe processing• finding gifts on the other side of wounds• process goals that keep commitment aliveYou can pick up the book on Amazon.com or on, wisdominthewoundbook.com. If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a friend or leave a review.Send us a text

Today, we're talking about how Christian couples can build deeper intimacy by turning awkward silence into simple, safe conversations. Nick and Amy McKinlay of Ultimate Intimacy share research-backed prompts, healthy masculinity traits, and ways to navigate power dynamics when desire is mismatched.• why communication is the core of sexual intimacy• how curiosity and vulnerability create safety• traits of healthy masculinity women find attractive• using prompts, card decks and the app to start talks• handling mismatched desire and power dynamics• finding the why behind resistance before the how• setting loving boundaries when one partner avoids• turning team mindset into daily connection• practical steps couples can implement todayFind the book, Let's Talk About Sex at shop.ultimateintimacy.com. You can download the app and access additional resources at ultimateintimacy.com or your app store. Send us a text

What if a single, gentle question could turn tense moments into real connection? That’s the promise of “contracting,” a simple consent-based habit that replaces surprise talks with intentional, focused conversations. We walk through how this tiny shift—asking “Is now a good time?” and agreeing on a short window—respects attention, reduces defensiveness, and builds trust that sticks.• what contracting is and why it works• how consent checks prevent ambush talks• sample scripts for respectful timing• prepping topics with short previews• external vs internal processing styles• three reasons contracting builds safety• the sprinkler story and timing misfires• honoring reschedules and follow-through• presence rules: phones down, eyes up• weekly challenge to try contractingThank you so much if you've already purchased Bad Marriage Advice. If you have purchased it and had a chance to look through it, I would absolutely love and appreciate if you would go back to Amazon and leave your honest review. Use this link

What if the real love story isn’t candlelight and grand gestures, but calendars, clarity, and courage under pressure? I sit down with Kass and Mike Lazerow—longtime partners in life and business—to unpack how they navigated Web 1.0 startups, gut-punch setbacks, and life-changing, $345 million-dollar exits while raising three kids and staying on the same team. Their answers aren’t glossy; they’re practical, repeatable, and surprisingly tender.We explore how role clarity at home mirrors smart org design at work: defined lanes reduce friction and protect respect. Mike shares why he stopped “selling” inconvenient choices and started owning the impact; Kass explains the power of saying, “No, I’m not happy you’re going”—and not forcing a bow on hard truths. Together they map out their three core cheat codes: share the load through good and bad, invest in the relationship with consistent date nights and short getaways, and build teamwork through radical transparency, fair fights, and fast repair. We also dive into t

What if the fastest way to a stronger marriage isn’t compromise, but better teamwork? After celebrating a number-one Amazon launch, I took a hard look at what actually helped us get there—clear roles, honest communication, and a shared commitment to play the same game on the same side. The result is a practical, story-rich guide to treating marriage like the ultimate team sport, with four moves you can use tonight.I start by reframing “opposites” as assets: the planner and the risk-taker, the night owl and the early bird, the introvert and the extrovert. Instead of fighting to be the same, I show how to deploy differences like positions on the field so your team covers more ground with less friction. Then I talk about offense and defence, who pushes the ball forward in finances, fun, and intimacy, and who protects the goal with boundaries, savings, and rest, so you can balance initiative with stability without making it personal.From there, I dig into communication that actually works: daily 20-minute huddles

Today's interview is with my oldest son, Jake and his new wife, Livvy to chat about the new book I wrote for them and unpack five of the most common myths that sabotage new marriages and trade them for simple habits that build trust, respect and joy. Thinks we talk about in the episode are:• faith first, spouse second as good advice from Livvy's Dad• seeing parents model affection, repair and service• differentiation over “you complete me”• mind reading myths versus clear, simple requests• growth includes discomfort and honest repair• why happy couples do fight and how to do it well• address small stuff early to prevent resentment• learning together through books and shared language• teamwork during stressful seasons and daily service• date night as a sacred ritual for connectionIf you’re newly engaged, early in marriage, or simply ready to trade fairytales for a stronger relationship, this one’s for you. Listen, share with a partner, and tell us: which myth are you ready to replace? If you enjoyed