Thriveology Podcast | Success | Personal Development | Self-improvement | Thrive | Resilience | Thrive Nation

Wouldn't it make sense if we just made things easy, direct, and effective? We don't.  We tend to complicate things.  Repeatedly. Life is already a challenge many days.  So why do we make it harder on ourselves?  Sometimes, it is mental blocks.  Sometimes, it is reaction.  Sometimes, we let our emotions run the show. This week, I discuss 3 ways you likely complicate your life.  I know, because I fall into those same traps many times. The first step is understanding the traps.  The second step is avoiding those traps. Listen in to discover 3 ways you complicate your life. . . and how to avoid those traps.

I was madly taking notes at a conference a couple of months back.  This guy beside me was taking no notes.  I was impressed with someone who could remember all the details needed.  The conference was about setting up social media, blogs, and other technical elements of launching a program. At the break, I turned to him and chatted.  I asked him what he did, and what he was hoping to get out of the conference.  He shared.  I asked him how it was going so far.  For the rest of the break, he told me "WHY this won't work for me." Huh.  I was spending the conference asking "HOW can I get this implemented as quickly as possible?"  I was puzzled.  Why was he doubting, seeing WHY it would not work, and I was scrambling to figure out HOW to do it. And I paused.  Because I have done the exact same thing as my seat neighbor.  Plenty of times, I was hearing great ideas, but only fixated on why it would NOT work.  In fact, my wife called me on being a NO person years ago.  And I am trying to reform. In many areas, hop

We all get them.  Sometimes there is a reason.  Sometimes, they just catch you for no real reason.  Down days.  Those days that seem to be energy-less, lacking in passion, and kinda blue. I was having a down day, so I went to my "Down Day Toolbox" to make it through and make it better.  And I thought, why not share my toolbox?  I bet you have a toolbox, too. Down Days are normal.  Too many down days can indicate a bigger issue.  But if are just having a down day, accept it for what it is. . . then pull out your toolbox and see if you can turn it around. Listen below for more on my toolbox.  If you have suggestions of your own, leave them in the comments area below.

Over the last few weeks, we've focused on habits as a path to your thriving life.  If you missed any of the weeks, the links are noted below. Today, we wrap up the series by noting the difference between two types of habits:  revolutionary habits and evolutionary habits. Let's say you are currently not exercising, but decide to start.  You decide to take up jogging.  That is revolutionary.  You are making a 180 degree turn and doing something completely different. But let's say you have been jogging for awhile -- long enough to call it "running."  And you decide to add in some resistance training (you might call it "weight lifting").  That is an evolutionary habit.  You are pivoting your exercise habit to a wider array. Big changes come from revolutionary habits.  But they tend to be spread out.  You can't take on a new revolutionary habit every week.  Evolutionary habits are more about fine-tuning and constantly improving.  You may be shifting habits in evolutionary ways day after day. What are the Revo

For the last few weeks, we've been talking habits.  What they are, how they form who you are, how you make them stick, how to turn your goals into habits, and finding your "linchpin habits." This week, I want to draw your attention to your thoughts.  Really, I want to draw attention to the fact that your thinking is also habitual.  Not all of your thoughts.  But how you think and many of the thoughts are really habits. Those thought habits can either keep you stuck or push you along, depending on the habits. Do you notice that you think the same way, over and over? Or perhaps you notice you think the same thoughts over and over.  Those are thought habits. Once those habits start, they become invisible.  Your thoughts keep following the same pathway (in fact, the same neuronal pathway). Thought habits only change when they are seen as habits.  Let's make those thoughts thriving thoughts! Listen below for how your thoughts are habits and what to do. Habit Series: You Become Your Habits Habit Sticking Hab

A single habit can be tough, either to make or break.  But what if you could make one habit and it multiplied into other habits?  What if there is a linchpin habit for you that sets others in motion? The fact is, we all have linchpin habits.  The question is whether they are working for or against you.  Many people have bad linchpin habits.  The habit of watching the game with the guys that leads to overeating and over drinking, for example. If you want to move in the other directions, toward useful habits, find your linchpin habit in that direction. Discover your linchpin habit in today's podcast.  Listen below. Habit Series: You Become Your Habits Habit Sticking Habiting Your Goals

We like to make goals.  Most of us start the year with a set of goals.  And most goals, certainly most resolutions, never quite make it.  Goals are "out there," some deadline in the future. Resolutions may start now, but rarely do they make it into habit. Think about goals as an end result of your systems and habits.  If you just set goals, they will always be "out there."  But if you create systems (your environment) and habits (repeated actions), you move toward the goals. Goals are fine.  But only when supported by your systems and habits. Learn more in this week's podcast.  You can listen below. Habit Series: You Become Your Habits Habit Sticking

Last week, we started a series on habits.  Your life is, in many ways, built on a series of habits.  Some are good.  Some get in your way. It always seems to me that we form bad habits so much easier than good habits!  And these aren't the habits we want to "stick." Which raises the question of how to make those good habits stick.  How do you start a habit and keep it going? If you are a "New Years Resolutions" kind of person, you may notice how few of those habits make it far into the New Year.  I've noticed the packed gym in January is deserted before the end of February.  Healthy foods begin to be replaced by snacks fairly quickly.  Running shoes never quite get broken in. Is it a lost cause? Should we just give up on those good habits? Considering how much of life is actually habits, it is important to find ways of building habits and keeping habits.  This is the skill of making habits stick. Let's talk about making those habits stick! Habit Series: You Become Your Habits

For a long time, habits seemed to be a useless topic to me.  Got a bad habit?  Change it.  Need a good habit?  Build it. But the more I reflect, the more I realize how much of life is really about habits.  More than that, I have noticed how hard those bad habits are to break.  And how hard those good habits are to build. So I started paying more attention to my habits.  I started studying habits. My first observation:  the vast majority of daily life runs on habits.  Habits of what you do to get ready in the morning, habits of how you get to work and where you park, habits of how you work, what you do after work, bedtime, etc.  Sure, there are choices all day long.  But in the background:  habits. Some habits just help you run your day.  Some help your life.  Others get in the way.  And in the end, you become your habits.  For good AND bad. This week, we start a new series on habits:  what they are, how we form them, how we make them stick, and how we build them out. This week, let's talk about habiting

Today is a big day for me.  It is the release date for my new book, Thrive Principles.  This book is near and dear to my heart.  I have lived with it for years, collecting and developing the strategies throughout my career. The fifteen strategies can help you build a thriving life, regardless of what is going on in your life.  Tough times or easy times, we can all thrive throughout life. Please check out my new baby at the book's website RIGHT HERE. Since I have spent a great deal of time thinking about these principles, I have come to understand how intertwined the principles are.  In fact, I have realized that you don't have to focus on all 15.  Choose a few.  The others will almost naturally come through. A coaching client challenged me, "Can you boil it down?  Make it stupid-simple." So I did.  But I wanted to be clear, "Simple" does not equal "Easy."  If someone wants an easy way to thrive. . . it doesn't exist.  In fact, taking the easy way is how many people suffer and stay stuck. What I discover

It happened long ago, in what feels like another life.  And the story I tell is absolutely true (as far as I absolutely remember it happening this way!).  I promise accuracy, as far as my memory is capable. Early in my college life, my rather foolish young man's brain thought it made sense to drive to the beach, toward a pending hurricane. . . and surf!  I will readily admit that if my kids checked in with me about their plans, I would urge them to reconsider.  And likely knowing this would also be true in my case, I did not check in with my parents. Not surprisingly, we were able to find a good room for cheap.  It would appear that all the traffic we saw going the other way, as we headed to the coast, were those leaving behind rooms. In my own defense, this was in the day when people would ride out a storm, proudly buying an "I survived Hurricane ______" t-shirt. I don't have a t-shirt, but I did learn a lesson.  I apply it every single day, as I strive to thrive. Can I tell you my little story?  Listen

It's a dizzying world, disorienting and jarring.  And every day, you have to make decisions about how to live your life.  What is your primary focus point?  How do you orient your life? In workshops, I have asked this same question.  People begin to name their priorities:  family, happiness, reputation, respect, or even profit.  Does that provide a moment-by-moment re-orientation? Nope. The other day, I was on a crazy, spinny ride with my daughter.  I told her, "Keep your eyes focused on the middle, right in the center."  In the middle of the ride, I did just the opposite, looking to my side. I was immediately dizzy.  But as soon as I turned my focus back to the center, the middle point, my focus came back.  The dizziness fell away. In this dizzying world, what is your center point?  I'll tell you mine. . .

In recent days, I have been with people in the middle of horrific losses.  Inevitably, someone steps up  and in an attempt to comfort, says, "Everything happens for a reason." That comment is rarely comforting in the painful moments. But deeper than that, is it even true? Many people default to this as a reaction to something that happens and is outside of our capacity to understand. Sometimes, we want to think that there is something behind it -- not just some random event.  But what does that phrase mean?  Does it mean that some force is trying to teach some lesson? For many people, the answer is yes. But does that make it so? Does everything happen for a reason? Let's chat. . . RELATED RESOURCES: Moving Through Grief Living The Big Stuff with Kristine Carlson

Yep, MY midlife.  Because I find myself at midlife (maybe, even probably, beyond "midpoint," but in the midst of midlife). I thought that since I have been discussing midlife transitions and crises, I needed to be open about my own midlife issues and transitions.  While not a crisis, it is definitely a transition. Let me be clear that I don't believe I should in any way be a model of how to do this (or how NOT to do this).  But I do think it may be helpful to hear from someone else who is going through this. It turns out that many people think what they are feeling is unique to them -- and that is just NOT so.  Midlife is a transition.  And it CAN become a crisis. Here's how it has been for me. . . MID LIFE TRANSITION SERIES 4 Myths of a Mid Life Crisis The Heart Of A Midlife Crisis A Healthy Midlife Transition Midlife Crisis or Depression?

"I think I might be depressed," he told me.  I wasn't convinced. When Brian was talking, it seemed he was searching more than he was lost. Depression, unhappiness, and a midlife crisis can look very similar. But they are very different.  And the way through each is different. Brian felt depressed.  But in reality, he was trying to figure it all out.  He was in a crisis.  He didn't need to be treated for depression.  He needed to get through his midlife crisis. Sometimes, people hit midlife, and it IS depression.  If you (or someone you know) is at midlife and not sure if it is a midlife crisis, depression, or just unhappiness, let's talk about the differences.  Each has a different path. MID LIFE TRANSITION SERIES 4 Myths of a Mid Life Crisis The Heart Of A Midlife Crisis A Healthy Midlife Transition  

Not every mid-lifer manages a crisis.  Many make a healthy transition to the new stage of life and development. The difference? There are several factors that come into play.  Central is a misunderstanding about what is happening. Many people refuse to admit some change is happening.  They hold onto old models that no longer work.  They cling to old habits that no longer help. When people come into my office and tell me they think they are having a midlife crisis, I congratulate them and ask, "What took you so long?"  The longer their delay, the deeper the crisis. Let's talk about some strategies of dealing with a midlife crisis in a healthy way. MID LIFE TRANSITION SERIES 4 Myths of a Mid Life Crisis The Heart Of A Midlife Crisis

Most people slide right into midlife, out of breath from exertion.  Up until then, it is all about achieve.  What can I do, build, and achieve?  Then, something shifts.  It is about believe.  What do I believe?  What's important?  What will I leave as my legacy? And that is the heart of a midlife crisis.  Meaning becomes a dominant theme, often covered up by the fumblings of someone not used to that question. Many people at midlife feel a yearning, but they can't quite identify what they are yearning for.  That yearning is the deeper call of meaning. I cover the Heart of  a Midlife Crisis in this week's podcast. MID LIFE TRANSFORMATION SERIES 4 Myths of A Mid Life Crisis

This week, we turn our attention to mid-life.  Maybe because that is where I am! Many clients come to me in the midst of a midlife crisis.  But that term carries so much baggage that many people are even embarrassed to consider the fact that it might just be. . . a. . . mid-life crisis brewing! Too bad.  In reality, mid life is all about transformation.  New opportunities abound.  Possible growth and change is on the horizon.  Deeper meaning.  Greater purpose.  Huge impact.  All the possibilities of a midlife transformation. In the last couple of years, headlines blared, "Mid Life Crisis Is A Myth."  But they missed the point of a midlife crisis.  The scale used in research was "happiness."  Wrong scale.  The right scale is about meaning.  Besides, nobody has figured out how to define or measure happiness with any clarity. Instead of focusing on the "myth of the midlife crisis," this week, I turn my attention to 4 myths about midlife crises. Care to join me?  Listen below:

Every year, my everyone in my family chooses a word to live into for the coming year.  This replaced my New Year's Resolutions almost a decade ago.  After I started this podcast, I have shared my word with you. 2016 was my year of Appreciation.  I wrote letters to a number of people, letting them know how much I appreciated them in my life.  I took a number of people out to lunch and did the same thing. One person has since died.  I treasure the fact that I had the chance of sharing my deep appreciation for him with him.  So, yes, my word is important to me. I put my word at the top of the calendar.  So, when I open my schedule for the day, there it is, first thing in the morning.  I am intentional about choosing it.  And I am intentional in honoring that word throughout the year. This year, my word is LEAN.  It has a dual meaning for me.  In this week's Podcast, I share why I chose that word and why it is important to me (and I give you a rundown of all my other words in past years). What's YOUR word?

How many times do you hear someone say, "I'm so stressed!"  Or how many times do YOU think and feel that? We live in a culture that seems to revel in being stressed.  Unfortunately, it is sometimes a badge of honor -- the cost of being in demand and doing important stuff. But is it? How do you not just "deal" with stress, but beat stress?  Well, first, we need to be clear about what stress REALLY is (and what it isn't).  Then, we can talk about strategies for addressing the REAL issue. When you are "stressed," there isn't a solution.   When you know what it is, the solution(s) are easier. Let's talk about defeating stress with 6 strategies in the training below.