What The Hell Were You Thinking

Show Notes Episode 263: The Language of the Unheard “We are nonviolent with people who are nonviolent with us.” --Malcom X No jokes, no songs, no funny bits, just some hard talk by one White American to his fellow White Americans imploring White America to put its money where it’s mouth has been and finally embrace non-violence. Show Theme: Not used this week The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/ The Show on Soundcloud https://soundcloud.com/david-bledsoe-4 www.whatthehellpodcast.com Give us your money on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast The Show Line: 347 687 9601 Closing Music: None this week Warning! By Langston Hughes Negroes, Sweet and docile, Meek, humble, and kind: Beware the day They change their mind. Wind In the cotton fields, Gentle Breeze: Beware the hour It uproots trees! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Episode 262: “You’re Not the Boss of Me Now” This week Host Dave Bledsoe discovers wearing a mask actually IS quite comfortable and is sure everyone will be wearing them in the future. On the show this week, we examine the latest in our ongoing series of Dumb Culture Wars: Masks. (We can’t believe this is even a thing!) Along the way we explore America’s long history of resenting people trying to save our lives starting with the Great Seatbelt Wars of the 1980’s. (We have a LONG history of being really dumb.) Then we dive right into the controversy with a small number of very noisy Americans refusal to wear a mask. (It is exactly the people you think it is.) We look at the various and specious “reasons” why people refuse to wear one, from religious to terror of people discovering how small and insignificant their penis actually is. (Thimble Dick is perhaps one of the most cutting pet names for the POTUS we’ve used to date!) We then give a full and fair hearing to those Americans who feel wearing a mask infrin

Show Notes Episode 261: Are You More A Dunning or More of a Kruger? This week Host Dave Bledsoe trudges up the Slope of Enlightenment only to find himself lost in the forest of Drunken Stupor. (Again) On the show this week, we examine what makes Americans so susceptible to nonsense theories and phony experts. (Turns out it isn’t ENTIRELY Facebook’s fault.) Along the way we meet the two dudes who discovered why we are all dumb in the pretty much the same way. (Of course, they could be stuck on Mt. Stupid, who knows?) We dip our toes in the cold, deep water of dumb that is the Plandemic video and then quickly towel off with the warm fluffy towel of Q-Anon! (Fresh from the dryer, like you love!) Then we ask a series of hard hitting questions about the future of America in a serious tone of voice designed to make us sound both logical and appealing. (Like the kind of voice you would buy insurance from!) Then we come crashing back to Earth by telling you that we told you so. Our Sponsor this week is a r

Show Notes Episode 260: Next Time Try Roland The Thompson Gunner This week Host Dave Bledsoe recalls the time he tried to be a Merc, only to discover he was just drinking with a guy who REALLY liked Deadpool. (Despite what he tells you, it WASN’T Ryan Reynolds) On the show this week we tell you a little story about a retired Army Sergeant First Class’ dream to do the one thing they would never let him do in the Army: actually overthrow a government. (Turns out there are reasons why they don’t let Sergeants do that) Along the way we learn about Operation Gideon, which would’ve worked out better for everyone if it was about putting Bibles in hotel rooms. Drawing extensively from an Associated Press news story about a failed coup in Venezuela that came out BEFORE the actual coup even started! (And yet, they tried it anyway!) We will meet a cast of amazingly bumbling characters, including close associates of the President all of whom wanted one thing and one thing only: for the President to LIKE them! (

Show Notes Episode 259: “We’re Not Gonna Take It” This week Host Dave Bledsoe puts a Twisted Sister pin on his uniform and drunkenly shouts at himself in the bathroom mirror just to feel like someone else is with him. (The man is desperately lonely and drinking too much. You know, just normal Dave stuff) On the show this week we travel back to 1985 to examine the Parents Music Resource Council, an issue so unimportant and trivial to the modern context that it should distract you for a good half hour from all the crazy shit in the world. (You’re welcome) Along the way we meet the White Wives of Washington who decided it was their job to censor artists. (They were the Karen’s of the 1980s) We introduce to you to each of the Filthy Fifteen the list of songs the PMRC deemed so vile and offensive that children must be protected from them at all cost. (God forbid they learned about getting off from Cyndi Lauper!) We hear from the artists who defended the list, even though some of the Metal songs are just

Episode 258: Some Alternate Universe This week Host Dave Bledsoe imagines a reality where he can drink as much as he wants and there is never a last call. Only to realize that means he is just at home drinking alone and it isn’t fun at all. On the show this week we examine the possibility that all of THIS is because the Universe is broken. (Sadly, it isn’t) Along the way we remember a time when Kaitlin Jenner was the strangest thing in the news, then marvel at the astonishing idiocy of people protesting the government not letting them die of a disease. We posit some extremely unlikely explanations for the state of the world today, including Mayan prophecy and a dude who did WAY too many mushrooms. (Surprisingly, not Dave). Then we delve in our real theory on why things are the way they are and science be damned. Because if ignoring reality is good enough for a Trump voter in Ohio it is good enough for us! (We, however, will NOT be going anywhere near the dipshits.) Our Sponsor this week is A Generic Statement

Show Notes Episode 257: The Bottle Episode Host Dave Bledsoe takes a few minutes to look back, talk about where we are and how we got here. Then issues a single plaintive plea for the entire world. Show Theme: https://www.jamendo.com/track/421668/prelude-to-common-sense The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/ The Show on Soundcloud https://soundcloud.com/david-bledsoe-4 www.whatthehellpodcast.com Give us your money on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast The Show Line: 347 687 9601 Closing Music: https://youtu.be/_dHGX5qIhYc Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We are taking THIS week off to prepare for NEXT week which will FIVE YEARS of this dumb podcast! In the mean time, here is a favorite from 2019--remember then, god that was great--about Jerry Eyler the Highway Killer! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Show Notes Splendid Isolation Episode Three: It’s Like Bad Medicine This week in our podcast extra Host Dave Bledsoe talks about PTSD, stress dreams and why his subconscious is a petty bitch. We talk about life in the Forbidden Zone and how it is becoming more and more like Escape From New York but without Snake Plissken, we heard he was dead. Then we cover mass graves, dying at home and how the “President” is actively trying to kill you. Splendid Isolation is a podcast extra documenting one lonely and frightened man’s attempt to survive the COVID 19 Pandemic with something like his sanity and liver intact. It appears in the What the HELL Were You Thinking podcast feed. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Show Notes Episode 256: We're Still Preoccupied with 1985 Part Two: Blame It On the Rain I Guess This week Host Dave Bledsoe finds himself kicked out of all the Zoom Happy Hours for angrily ranting about why women don’t wear shoulder pads anymore. (Hint: they have good taste) On the show this week it is the conclusion of our two part episode on the Decade that Made Us, the 1980’s. We shoot down the walls of heartache with the scandals that ended the decade. Along the way we learn ALL about the political, economic, social and fashion crimes that ended the Whitest Decade Ever. (Dave killed parachute pants all by himself!) From the White House, to Wall Street to the recording studio, if it made a white dude rich off some shady shit, we talk about it. Programming note, there will NOT be a new episode next week as we prepare for our Fifth Anniversary Extravaganza, assuming the world is still here in two weeks. Also, Dave appears on the podcast Just Checkin’ In with Marla and Jeremy, so check in with all t

In this week’s Splendid Isolation, Dave Bledsoe reflects on week three of lock down in New York City, Red Sox fans vs Yankees fans, people who watch ships docking when they should be home and his new life as a bandanna clad outlaw. Splendid Isolation is a stub of What the HELL Were You Thinking on the life and times of the Covid 19 Pandemic in New York City. It appears in the usual feed for What the HELL Were You Thinking along with the regular show. Follow the podast on Twitter @thehell_podcast, the show name on Facebook, subscribe to the show wherever you get your podcast or Spotify. Email the show at whatthehellpodcast@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Episode 255: We're Still Preoccupied with 1985 Part 1: The Whitest Decade Ever This week Host Dave Bledsoe gives up, retreats into 80’s nostalgia and (...is...is he wearing Parachute Pants and Members Only way too small for him?...Oh god, he is!) On the show this week, we turn away from the horrors of modern existence and take a look at the decade that made ALL of this, and we mean ALL of it, possible. (Yeah, we mean Trump.) Along the way we talk Reaganomics, how everyone thought they would be rich (if they were white) how movies and television help America delude itself and how music went from the ultimate expression of rebellion and idealism to the ultimate expression of homogeneity and conformity! (Huey Lewis, we blame Huey Lewis) This is Part One of a two part special that will conclude next week unless the virus takes us all. Our Sponsor this week is The Gipper, it all comes down to him. We open with the most famous 80’s speech ever and close with a Ska Version that is SO much better than the ori

Host Dave Bledsoe records an ad lib rant and lets your know how things are going. (Hint: Not well) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Show Notes Episod3 254: “But Are You Getting It? Armageddon It! This week Host Dave Bledsoe discovered the joy of Social Distancing when he realized New York City now allows liquor to go, and passed out in front his own door. (Again.) On the show this week, we look at the other side of the generation coin and talk about all the young people ignoring what they call “The Rona”. (Get ready for some intergeneration sniping!) Along the way we learn about how young people are actively trying to kill their grandparents and frankly are kind of jealous. (Seriously, you kinda WANT to visit a Corona Speakeasy, admit it!) We hear from all the nations of the world who are fed up with the young people and are angrily shouting at them to stop all of this foolishness and come inside right this minute young man! (Like a week ago, they were trying to get them to move out of the house!) Then we are in AWE at the hypocrisy of Fox News who are railing against young people saying the exact same thing they were saying a WEEK

Episode 253: “The Boomer Doomer” This week Host Dave Bledsoe declares he is “working from home” only to spend the next twelve hours drunk at Applebees. (Again) On the show this week, we take a look at the phenomena of Baby Boomers being blase about Covid 19! (Grow up Mom and Dad!) Along the way we examine the root cause of why so many at risk people don’t think this is such a big deal. (Hint: It’s on their TV right NOW) We wonder why the President is so BAD at, you know, EVERYTHING and why he thinks he doesn’t need to worry about the virus. (Hint: It’s on his TV RIGHT NOW!) Then we examine the cruel, mean spirited and wrong things the Young People are calling this disease, like Boomer Remover. Which is not at all funny young man! (It is kinda funny!) Finally, we wrap up with the only thing that can save us from ourselves: Rita Wilson and Tom Hanks. (Praise them, you BEST be praising them!) Our Sponsor this week is Bacardi 151, it’s BACK just in time to cure what ails you. We open with the only

Episode 252: “Love In the Time of Coronavirus” This week Host Dave Bledsoe angrily insists his persistent cough isn’t from his pack a day habit but this “virus thing going around”. (It’s totally the smoking) On the show this week we update you on all the important things you need to know about the Covid-19 outbreak in the United States. (By which we mean, we make jokes about masturbation and sex dolls.) Along the way we take a look at how the Trump Administration is handling things during this public health crisis. (Our expert opinion? Not well.) We check in with the experts on where we are and what we should be worried about. (Their expert opinion? The President) Then we dig into the REALLY important things you NEED to know about Covid-19: Is there porn about it? (Of course there is!) We travel to England for Covid do’s (stock up on sex toys) and then to Australia for some Covid don’t. (Buy and bring back child sized sex dolls from China.) Finally, we check with the Christian Right for their a

Episode 251: “Flowers for John Luck Pickard” This week, Host Dave Bledsoe tells us he is boldly going where no man has gone before, meaning someone is gonna need to drag him out of the TGI Friday’s women’s bathroom. (Again) On the show this week we take a trip to the 24th Century to check in on the latest Star Trek and are SHOCKED to find the kind of language they are using these days! (It’s really strange to hear people say “fuck” on Star Trek.) Along the way we get a history lesson on Star Trek that we didn’t ask for and don’t want, but we all have to sit through anyway. We learn about The Great Bird of the Galaxy, which oddly enough has nothing to do Muppets. We find out why Star Trek has alway had that one thing that bugs us, how humans were so much less believable than the Green Aliens. (No one EVER acts like a dick, that is WAY less believable than aliens!) Finally, we get to the complaints fanboys have about Picard, because fanboys ALWAYS have complaints about something. (Strangely they are NOT

Episode 250: “No Money Man Can Win My Love” This week Host Dave Bledsoe could really use that $150 Mike is offering influencers to help him out with a couple of bar tab related jams. (No funds were forthcoming) On the show this week, we thought we were doing a hit job on Mike Bloomberg until we saw Liz Warren curb stomp him in the debate. (We haven’t seen someone get murdered like that in Vegas since Tupac). Along the way, we learn all about Mike and what we learn, we don’t like. (Surprise?) We read from the Wit and Wisdom of Bloomberg only to immediately get slapped with a dozen or so HR complaints. (Thank god for all those NDA’s, right Mike?) We examine Bloomberg’s legacy in New York City, only to find that place where legacy was kept has gone out of business and will soon just be a building with a Chase ATM inside. (In New York City that is called a “Bloombank”!) Finally, we talk about Mike's debut on the debate stage and wonder if anyone has managed to remove Warren’s foot from his ass. (That HA

Shows Notes Episode 249: “What A Fool Believes” This week Host Dave Bledsoe remembers what it was that made him fall in love in the first place, when he discovers Jameson on sale at his local liquor store! (We’ve never seen him so happy!) On the show this week, we do something for all you Valentine’s Day lovers out there and answer the hardest questions about love, life and relationships! (By no means should you infer the advice you receive is GOOD advice!) Along the way we learn an awful lot about what made Dave so...so...so very Dave. (Turns out, he is a big old fat loser nerd boy!) From his first crush to his first love, the history of his failed relationships just says so much about him now. Then we take listener questions and have to ask ourselves how ANY of you found someone to date in the first place. Then we have a little surprise in store for Dave! (This is going to be GREAT!) Our Sponsor is Fast Eddie’s Insta Date, because there are so many shitty people in the world, there is no reason the

This week Host Dave Bledsoe discovers that somehow, against all odds and great personal sacrifice, he has WON the Iowa Caucus. (He is currently drinking in Nashua in hopes of taking New Hampshire as well!) On the show this week, we talk about doing the right thing even when you know it will hurt. (Like that time Dave punched himself in the crotch trying to grab a falling bottle of whiskey, he saved the bottle but it hurt. A lot.) It’s a Screed Show this week, so strap in and get ready for some shouty bits. (We know you love the shouty bits) Our Sponsor this week is Mitt Romney? (Trust us, we are as shocked as you!) We open the show with Dark Helmet’s sage advice and close with Richard Thompson’s divorce song. Show Theme: https://www.jamendo.com/track/421668/prelude-to-common-sense The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/ The Show on Soundcloud https://soundcloud.com/david-bledsoe-4 www.whatthehellpodcast.com Give us y