What The Hell Were You Thinking

We are pleased to debut our first spin-off podcast, take THAT Serial! Host Stephen Bannon, please note the difference for legal reasons, will provide a counterpoint to the Liberal Views of her sister show. We hope you enjoy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

SHOW NOTES EPISODE 98: “BLIND BOYS CAN LIE” This week Host Dave Bledsoe gets lost in the shadows and finally understands why Kiefer Sutherland was so freaking HOT in the 80’s! On the show this week we are talking about the Lost Boys of Milo’s Army, who find themselves leaderless and extremely confused by why they were following Milo in the first place. (Is it Gay if we want still want to do chicks?) We dig into the roots of the culture of the Trolls, Pepe's and Gamergaters and why they are suddenly everywhere you turn. (Hint: Clicks, lots of clicks) We also examine the history of teenaged angst and how we dealt with it. (Matching sports shirts mostly) We glimpse Dave’s awkward past as a Theater Kid (He was cast for his Southern Accent not any “acting” chops.) We learn the genesis the male dominated gaming culture (Hint: Marketing) and Etruscan funerary statues. We also learn that Gavin has a severe allergy to horse dander in our failed attempt to create show swag. (Dear God, the swelling!) Also:

Show Notes Episode #97: “The Russian Connection” This week Host Dave Bledsoe explains to Vice President Pence that his phone calls with the Russian ambassador were late night booty calls and not discussions of foreign policy. Kissy Kislyak he likes to call him. On the show this week we discuss the ouster of Former National Security Advisor Mike “Call Me Maybe” Flynn and the increasingly likelihood that we will all be speaking Russian in a couple of years. (Privet Komrade Trumpski!) Along the way we learn about why you should opt for becoming a Runner when it is time for Carousel. We discuss whether or not you should talk to your children about Deepthroat and why if you hire a Plumber you should check his references. (G.Gordon’s Yelp Reviews were TERRIBLE) We cover all the good and the bad of Independent Counsels (Iran Contra Good/Blow Jobs Bad) and why GOP refuses to investigate the Russian allegations. (Hint: Love to, but we’re busy taking away your healthcare.) We also gently suggest the Resistance

SHOW NOTES EPISODE 96: “Massah Jeff’s New Job” This week Host Dave Bledsoe learns he and Steve Bannon really aren’t so different after all, they share a hug and bottle of whiskey! Maybe that wasn’t Steve Bannon but just some rumpled drunk next to him on the subway. On the show this week, we talk about Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, the man to racist for 1986 but just racist enough 2017! (He certainly worked to become so!) Along the way we discuss women who just won’t shut up and how to make them. (Hint stop saying stupid shit so they won’t NEED to say anything!) We learn why Old White Racists always have one Black friend to testify at their confirmation hearings. (They are LIKE family, but definitely NOT family.) We also discover how growing up with Star Wars was exactly like growing up White in the Jim Crow South. (Darth Vader: Nubian God!) Finally we find out what one should say to a racist. (Many of the words have four letters). Promotional consideration for this week’s show comes from Da

SHOW NOTES EPISODE #95: “Be the Coup You Want to See” This week Host Dave Bledsoe flirts with declaring open insurrection against the lawfully elected government of the United States, only to have a drink thrown in his face. (He isn’t much of a “ladies man”.) On the show this week we examine the article on Medium that told us all about the Neunundneunzig Luftballons, floated by Obergruppenführer Bannon and pop each with our mad shuriken throwing skills. (Girls only like guys who have great skills.) Along the way we discuss our new spin off podcasts (Think Serial but without the talent, charm or decent stories) explain the difference between Hitler and Trump (Hitler had a dog) and why JFK airport is the 12th Circle of Hell. We lament our knitting skills and apologize for the penis hat we wore at the protest last weekend. (It kept going limp and falling in our faces) We also detail exactly how we will eventually repeal this government and replace with a liberal democracy like we had just a few weeks ago!

SHOW NOTES EPISODE 94: “Truth Is Scarier Than Fiction” This week Host Dave Bledsoe explores the fundamental nature of truth in a four hour show spanning Western Philosophy from Socrates to Berto and Plebani! Only this podcast could make endless hours of obscure metaphysics FUNNY! RELAX, we are talking about Trump and his truth problem. (Hint: When he’s telling it, it’s much worse.) Along the way we explore all the things El Presidente Trumpo has done this week which scared the shit out of us. (Everything) We learn that Grizzly Adams fought Nazi Elves in a 1989 movie (Best Day EVER!) and ponder the nature of some of the less popular Star Wars Action Figures. (You SUCK R5-D4!) Finally, we address the critical question of our time, WHO THE FUCK IS STILL LETTING TRUMP TWEET?! (Kellyanne we are looking at YOU!) Promotional consideration for this week’s show is provided by Alterna-Fact, when the truth just won’t do! We open the show with pontifications on truth from Sin City and close with Spandau Ballet

The Official Response of the What The HELL Were You Thinking Podcast to President Trump’s Inaugural Address A reading in full,without comment or humor, of the Second Inaugural Address of President Abraham Lincoln March 4th 1865. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

SHOW NOTES EPISODE 93: “No Hope But Mount Hope” This week Host Dave Bledsoe tries optimism on for size only to discover it way too small to fit over his big fat ass. Instead of worrying about all the things which might go wrong, we ask the question what if thing turned out alright? We ponder all the ways President Truh-President Truhm--sorry we still can’t say it--might ACTUALLY make America great again. (Hint: Trump International Airports). Along the way we look at some other Presidents who brought fear to the nation, like Andy Jackson and that turned out fine. (Unless you were a Native American) or even George W Bush. (We all know that how THAT ended). We also examine why Drew Brees is about to be renditioned to Yemen. (You SUCK Brees!) We finally bury the hatchet between Trump and Rosie and let you know that the power to destroy ISIS is insignificant compared to the power of the Force. (We find your lack of faith disturbing, really). We wrap by brazenly ripping off some dramatic political speeches an

This week Host Dave Bledsoe relieves himself in a thick hot stream of rage at all the “fake news” showering on the upturned faces of the American public about our golden President Elect. In a show sure to be Number One on all the podcast charts, we discuss the allegations of Russian micturations in what is surely a case of Yellow Journalism. After spraying around every urine related pun we can think of, we settle into the terrifying details of the Trump Dossier. Whether or not you should believe them (There is a lot of smoke there) what they mean for a Trump Presidency (The ashes of civilization) and what happens next. (Not a goddamn thing.) We also present you with a huge pile of folders containing many sheets of paper on which nothing is written. Honestly, at least print “all work and no pay makes Donny a dull boy” a few thousand times. We also discuss Dave’s new career as an NFL quarterback, sponsored by the New England Patriots. We open the show with Hillary warning us about Donald’s pee predilec

Show Notes Episode 91: “Little Milo Writes A Book” This week Host Dave Bledsoe returns from an idyllic vacation to the festering cess pit of New York City and his own mind in a show sure to make everyone want to vomit like an ipecac and bourbon shooter! We take a tour through the Alt-Right Golden Boy Milo Yiannopoulos’ book deal with Simon and Schuster, whose names sound rather Jewish and we wonder why the Nazi’s seem so happy about it. (Hint: Because they are terrible nazis AND terrible people!) Along the way we learn about how book publishing in America works today and why they might publish a book by known racist and misogynist. (Hint: Republicans have money). We also examine long history of assholes making a lot of money by writing books for other assholes. We check in on 50 Shades of Grey and find people still masturbating furiously, we’re looking at you Gavin. We discuss free speech and why it is probably a bad idea (mostly because of shows like this) and speculate on the real reason Milo g

SHOW NOTES EPISODE 2A REDUX: “The Walking Douche” In the “Best Of” (using those words a bit loosely huh?) Episode Host Dave Bledsoe discusses the rising tide of douchebags slowly consuming New York City. No word on whether or not he considers himself as the problem or solution. Along the way we look at the Bank Branch Event Horizon, where it is no longer possible to building anything BUT bank branches. We also mourn the loss of weird in the world and then lament the lot of the angry drunk old man at the bar. (Hint: That would be Dave). Promotional consideration is by Re-Run everything old is new again with Re-Run. We open with web series that never existed as far as we can tell and close with Jim Croce. Hypnostate provides the music in our opening credits. The Show on Twitter The Show on Facebook The Show on Soundcloud www.whatthehellpodcast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this week’s non-specific cultural seasonal tradition of your choice show, Host Dave Bledsoe is visited by three ghosts: The Ghost of Christmas Cash, the Ghost of Christmas Credit and the Ghost of Collections Agencies, to teach him the meaning of hating Christmas. Along the way we also wonder why there is Christmas in Eternia, ask why we stop killing each other just the one day of year and learn why Dave is not allowed to return to the Republic of South Korea. (Hint: It’s alcohol related.) We are our grievances over the length of the Season, learn to love fossilized feces and to loath the Chrisma-Nazi. We hope you enjoy this Christmas Classic, that is what we are calling this rather than rerun because Dave was too lazy to write fresh content. On the up side, there are ZERO Trump mentions in this show! So, get off his ass, he is flying to the West Coast to a Socialist Lesbian Atheist Commune Post Solstice Sharing Circle on Christmas Eve! We hope you and yours don’t try to kill each other this weekend.

SHOW NOTES EPISODE 90 “What’s So Civil About War Anyway?” This week Host Dave Bledsoe takes us all back to school as the nation’s electors give it the old college try and finally end this god awful election once and for all. Get ready for another pointless history lesson, and some really mediocre Disney musicals featuring Buddy Ebsen! Along the way we learn about Richard Mentor Johnson and the Octoroon Julia Chinn. We theorize on the potential ramifications of an Electoral College upset at the last moment. (Hint: Think Disastrous) There are some cutting remarks about the hit Broadway play Hamilton AND the actual Alexander Hamilton. (Buy One Get One Free!). We postulate on what the Second American Civil War might look like, comparing and contrast to other popular Civil Wars in recent history. There WILL be a quiz on the material at the end of the podcast which will count for 30% of your grade. We suggest taking notes. Then we wrap with really depressing analogies to fatal diseases and the agony of c

SHOW NOTES EPISODE 89: “YOU CAN’T FIX STUPID” This week Host Dave Bledsoe takes on Big Dictionary in his never ending quest to have Bloosnargl accepted as an actual word. (Bloosnargl (n): The overwhelming feeling of relief and joy after taking a really big dump. --Dave exited the men’s room with a spring in his step and feeling all bloosnargl.) He also takes issue with the idea of “Post Truth” being Oxford’s word of the year, since it’s a bullshit term and the idea is ripped off from Colbert. Along the way we learn about the history of fake news in America, and how it gave us the truth about Jefferson going black and not coming back. We also get a Latin lesson no one asked for and learn the the truth about Bat Boy. (Hint: Think Elvis). There is a stunning revelation about Dave regarding the duration of his belief in Santa Claus. (Awkward!) Conspiracies are debunked, feelings are hurt and apologies are not given. Except to Santa who finally did show up with that Millennium Falcon we’d been asking f

SHOW NOTES EPISODE #88: “SOMETHING FOR THE LADIES” This week Host Dave Bledsoe steps into the uncomfortable shoes of women in Trumpmerica and finds that even though they are painful and sexist, these 4” Stiletto heels make his legs look amazing. On a slightly less disturbing topic, the show dives into the ideas the incoming administration might have for making America great again for women. (Hint: They are only great for dudes.) We discuss abortion rights (Gone) contraception (Yeah Right) sexual harassment (All lies) and rape culture (made up) and how they will be handled. We meet the men who will be helping all you ladies understand the complexities of your own bodies and minds, including a new spokesman (none of that spokesperson business here!) that will reach out to the youth of America! Along the way we meet the new Twitter Czar, a position that we made up but will almost certainly exist shortly! Finally, we discuss Ivanka’s plan to help the visually unappealing reach full employment! Pr

Episode 87 Thanksgiving In Hell This week Host Dave Bledsoe takes us on an emotional journey through the bowels of the American tradition of trying not to kill your relatives during Thanksgiving Dinner. (He’s not big on original ideas apparently). With helpful tips for avoiding a fight honed over years of conflict resolution this show is a must listen while heading home for the holiday. We also learn there is word for trying to kill your Uncle with a carving knife during a family argument! Along the way we talk about the best way to get your weed through airport security. (Hint: It’s not in your butt, they look there) and how to avoid spending the long weekend in a local lockup with a lonely redneck. We also examine the emotional trauma of off brand kid’s clothing, and how to spot the asshole in any group of people. (Hint: check the mirror). We also provide contingency plans for when your good intentions go straight to Hell and you are forced to take on the forces of stupidity. (It involves an 80’s m

SHOW NOTES EPISODE 86: AMERIKA ÜBER ALLES This week Host Dave Bledsoe sits down with everyone’s favorite frog and talks about how it’s not easy being green--no, not THAT one, the other one, the Nazi Frog. Man, Kermit must be pissed right now. Our show talks about He Who Shall Not Be Named choice for Senior White House Strategy Advisor and Propaganda Minister Steve Bannon. This will not be pleasant for anyone, frankly we are still trying to shower the stink off us in the research department. Along the way we discover that Joe Biden personally whacked Andrew Breitbart (He didn’t) how much Orange America loves minorities (they don’t) and Dave’s knack for making analogies with truly disturbing sex acts in truck stop bathrooms. (don’t ask.). We take a look at the spike in incidents of making America great in school cafeterias and public transportation and wonder when we are going to stop winning so much! (In about four years) We also propose a final solution for the Alt Right. We try to reach out the the Whit

SHOW NOTES EPISODE 85: “What Did You DO Ray?” Well shit. Shit. Shit. Shit, Shit. SHIT! We were supposed to be on a BEACH RIGHT NOW god damnit! We don’t want to be here, you sure as hell didn’t want us here, but now we gotta do THIS SHIT. Thanks a LOT America! This week Host Dave Bledsoe wipes the tears from his eyes, takes a long pull from the bottle and talks about what the fuck just happened to America. Along with the rest of the media, we start apportioning blame for the catastrophic goat fuck that was election 2016 and we ALL know who's to blame. (HINT: It’s Dave). We talk in detail about all the things that happened to bring us to the Presidency that we refuse to name and only refer to by a Third Person Pronoun from now until IT is impeached in 18 months, tops. We talk about docile Democrats, the Bernie Bros (Yeah, we’re sorry dudes, our bad!) the GOP and fucking useless cable television circle jerk. We stick a knife into the Facebook Bubble and of course the back of both candidates and the

SHOW NOTES EPISODE #84: “The Waiting Is the Hardest Part” In this our big pre-election show Host Dave Bledsoe loses his damn mind trying to hold it together for the 100 hours. Things do NOT go well. As election 2016 draws to a close we look as the sad, divided country and wonder how the hell we are going to sit across the Thanksgiving table in a few weeks and not try to kill each other with our wishbones. (HInt: Stab for the eyes). We talk about the FBI leaking like the Titanic post iceberg, the sheer hell of poll watching and wonder if we are going to sleep at all between now and Tuesday night. (Based on current trends: No.) We talk about Crazy Eddie the Car Wash Dude’s prediction for next week (William Howard Taft in an Electoral College squeaker), how J. Edgar Hoover liked to be peed on and finally a plea for sanity and civility from the guy who's been calling Trump supporters Trumpvangelicals for months. (Too little, too late). We also remind you that the show will be a creative hiatus for the

SHOW NOTES: Special Edition #8: “Not This Shit Again” Host Dave Bledsoe cannot believe he is back here on a Sunday doing this shit AGAIN! Since 2016 is the election that keeps on giving (Mostly ulcers) here is a Special Edition of the show talking about Comey-Gate and what it means for the election. (Hint: Not much.) Along the way he warns about the dangers of DIY pet burial, not to take a job as a Congressional Jizz Mopper or FBI Director in an election year. We also take panicky Liberals to task for their hand wringing when all they have to do to win is go out and vote and remind Republicans even with this latest news, their candidate is still Donald Trump. So, you know, probably not something to be happy about. Promotional consideration is by Dick Picks, specially selected gift for that special woman, and by gifts we mean unwanted penis pictures. We open the show with a motivational speech by Sly Stallone and close with the rhetorical apocalypse of Dog’s Eye View. Hypnostate provides the music