What The Hell Were You Thinking

SHOW NOTES EPISODE 83: “The Horror, The Horror” This week Host Dave Bledsoe does his level best to scare the hell out of you for our Halloween Spooktacular! In a frankly dark and deeply disturbing show, he reaches deep into the psyche and draws forth all the darkness inside. We no longer feel entirely safe alone with him. Our tales of horror and despair include Hillary’s first impeachment trial, being Primaried from the Left and a look at the 2018 Congressional Map. (If there are children in the room, have them look away!) We also take a look at what happens to Paul Ryan if the GOP House majority gets really weak and what happens if it doesn’t. It’s bad either way. We also examine the black future that awaits when the Great Old One Ascends in 2020. God help us all. Along the way there are references to Australian aboriginal religions and a theory on why if there IS a Heaven Christians are going to be really pissed off. (HINT: You don’t need genitals in the afterlife.) There is also a stunning revela

SHOW NOTES EPISODE 82: “How to Keep an Idiot In Suspense” This week Host Dave Bledsoe decides the whole podcast rating system is rigged and refuses to accept them. How will he break the system and make podcasts mediocre again? He will keep us in suspense, I guess. (Hint: He really has no ideas at all.) Along the way we talk about the American tradition of people who lose elections not starting a war over their loss, except for that one time when they totally did. We compare Al Gore to George Washington, fitting the Father of our Country and the Father of Our Internet together at last. We also discuss televangelists and why they always need a new plane. (Hint: Can’t get the hooker smell out of the old one) We cover strategies for dealing with Monopoly losers and really wonder why ANYONE plays Monopoly, it goes on FOREVER! There is some small discussion about why threatening to violently overthrow the government of the United States of Ame rica and assassinate its elected leaders is PROBABLY not somet

In yet another Special Edition Host Dave Bledsoe discusses the frankly disturbing allegations by numerous women against Donald Trump for sexual assault. They are disturbing not just for the obvious reasons but for the idea of this tiny orange fingers touching ANYONE! Along the way you get a behind the scenes peek at what it’s like to work on a low rated podcast (Hint: It’s not pretty) and we take a look at the cabal of corporate media colluding with the Clinton Campaign to keep America from being Great Again. We also ponder why it took so long for Trump to call Hillary ugly--it is the closest thing to restraint we’ve seen from this infuriated hamster of a man. He must be so proud. Promotional consideration for this Special Edition is by Perv-A-Way 50,00 volts of fuck off in the palm of your hand. We open the show with Trump asking the question we answer with this Edition and close with the sage advice of the Georgia Satellites Hypnostate provides the music in our opening credits. The Show on Twitter Th

SHOW NOTES EPISODE 81: “Burn One Down For Me” This week Host Dave Bledsoe takes a good long look at the burning porta-potties that comprise the remnants of the Grand Old Party and he laughs and laughs like a gleeful child! In a long and painful journey we examine the rise of modern GOP from its inception in 1964 through the ascendancy during the Reagan years all the way through to the delightful crap-splosion occurring before your very eyes. Do not stare directly into the flames unless you are equipped with the special safety goggles. Along the way touch on rectal boils, necrophilia and what one would use in Advanced Dungeons and Dragons 1st Edition to create a golem entirely from poo. (Hint: A Dungeon Master with a VERY sick sense of humor.) We also debunk the notion of the Double Down meeting the essential criteria for sandwich-hood (Bread, it’s the goddamn bread!).The rise of the corporate media is on the table and what happens when Fast Eddie eventually sells the Hut to Rupert Murdoch (Cost: $39.

SHOW NOTES SPECIAL EDITION SIX: “GRAB ‘EM BY THE *MEOW*” Called in on his day off to talk Trump Tapes, Host Dave Bledsoe is not at all happy about the situation. He breaks down what he said, when he said and wonders why it took insulting a White Woman to really get people mad. (Hint: The country is still really racist). Along the way we discuss the things men in say in lockers rooms (Hint: It usually involved not waving your balls in our face like that) the problems with growing old not grown up and why Producer Gavin is still a virgin. We briefly touch on the revelation that Hillary Clinton is a--we can’t say--A POLITICIAN! We also take ALL the culprits for Trump’s candidacy to task, including this show. Promotion consideration is provided by the new service Backsies, call Backsies and take it all back! We open with the foul language of Trump and close with the The Buggles. Hypnostate provides the music in our opening credits. The Show on Twitter The Show on Facebook The Show on Soundcloud www.whatth

SHOW NOTES EPISODE 80: “JOHNSON GOES LIMP” This week Host Dave Bledsoe goes for the cheap shots while ostensibly talking about the Libertarian Party and their candidate for President. If you think there are dick jokes, you would be correct. Along the way we examine the historical roots of political parties and what they stand for (Hint: Not you) and do a brief overview of Third Parties in America. It’s brief because there isn’t much to say. We look at all the things Gary Johnson would do if he were to be elected and discover they would all seem really, really familiar to Republican Voters. We also discuss what would happen if by magic Libertarians got everything they desired and how to survive in the wreckage of society that ensues, (Hint: Think Zombie Apocalypse) We also deep dive on why children should go to bed a reasonable hour, but honestly this is more a rant on the noisy kid that lives above Dave’s apartment. We share an Aleppo Moment as we try to remember who the Grand Vizier was under Meh

Show Notes Episode 79: “Pogo the Clown Is Coming to Town” This week Host Dave Bledsoe stops joking around and gets serious when he says the clown can stay but the Ferengi in the monkey suit has got to go! Our show topic this weekend is the extremely unfunny situation with millions of killer clowns crawling the streets of middle America terrorizing good god fearing White folks with their crazy pie throwing and seltzer spraying frivolity! Along the way we examine the root causes of clown fear (Hint: because they fucking creepy) and what to do when you come across a clown on the streets. (Hint: Run screaming) We look at the history of clown sightings around the world and tie the BREXIT to last year’s Northampton Clown. It’s all so clear when we think about it. We also do a deep psychological analysis of the Satanic Panic of the 1980’s with only a minor reference to the time our Mom made us sell all our D&D Books because they made us worship the Devil! WE BOUGHT THEM ALL BACK MOM! Finally, we note any

SHOW NOTES: EPISODE 77 “EXODUS 22-18” This week Host Dave Bledsoe digs into his bookshelf and cracks open the Malleus Maleficarum for a hard hitting on expose on a certain Presidential Candidate may or may not be a Consort of Satan. Strangely it is NOT the one you might think we would choose. We also examine in detail what EXACTLY is wrong with Hillary Clinton (HInt: She’s tired of your shit!) and why she feels the need to keep it hidden from us. (Hint: We’re not very intelligent!) Along the way we discuss the alleged presence of a secret Wall Street Blood Rejuvenation Center that definitely does not exist, as far as you know. Our research team notes that people get OLD over the course of eight years and we also revisit the good old days of the Internet when a GIF wasn’t a GIF unless is was a flashing “Under Construction” sign. We also posit the Super Flu that is about to break out and destroy the country was presaged by the appearance of Ted Cruz as the Walking Dude. Promotion consideration for thi

SHOW NOTES FOR SPECIAL EDITION #5: “Baskets of Deporables” The Return of Greg Bonecutter Jr! Host Dave Bledsoe woke up to a Twitter Storm about HRC’s speech remarks in NYC last night--apparently the racists are REALLY upset about being called racists. Our heart weeps for their pain. We also revisit last night’s show and take the media to task for not applying the slightest hint of context in pursuit of the Platonic Ideal of a Gaffe Soundbite. So, we present this Special Edition of the show and remind you that if you are voting for Trump, you are a racist! Have a great weekend! Promotional consideration for this Special Edition is by Trumpzar Pictures new animated motion feature “Deplorable You”, featuring the hijinks of trio of adorable Skinhead munchkins in the quest for a perfect Aryan America! We open the show with Hillary’s ACTUAL words and close with They Might Be Giants. We’ve saved this song for a special occasion! Hypnostate provides the music in our opening credits. The Show on Twitter The

SHOW NOTES EPISODE 76: “Hillary Is Breaking the Curve” This week heavily hungover host Dave Bledsoe takes the media back to school where with the help of beautiful English professor and lovable cast of misfits he learns to respect his son and finally EARN that degree! We’re sorry, that is apparently the plot of a Rodney Dangerfield movie. No, in this week’s show we ask whether or not the press is taking it easy on the Donald to make the race more interesting and keep the ratings up through November. (Probably, that or they are scared of him). Along the way we delve into why the lines are so long on the Intrepid, the structural integrity of the sanitary sewers in convents and why Billy Zabka is the quintessential 80’s teen movie villain. (Sweep the leg Johnny!) We also try to cast a Raise Dead on Walter Cronkite only to have him blow his Resurrection Roll. Honestly, the DM is being a real ball buster about this. Promotional consideration is provided by Gary’s Guides to Great World City The Aleppo Edi

SHOW NOTES EPISODE 75: ꜞHOLA SEÑOR TRUMP!” This week Host Dave Bledsoe goes South of the Border, Down Mexico way, to talk about El Guapo Douchbag Donald Trump’s immigration foibles, flip flops, waffles and finally HateFest 2016! It is muy malo! Along the way we also lament the state of the educational system in the 1970’s when the idea of learning a second language was considered un-American and recognize that admitting you solicited prostitutes in Central America is probably not the best path to a major podcast network deal. Our deep dive is on what passes for a policy in the insane clown posse that we laughingly call the Trump Campaign--honestly it would be off better ran by actual Juggalos. We talk El Donaldos trip to meet with the Mexican President where who will pay for wall never came, because who want to talk about that. We also learn about Señor Stinky the small man who lives in Pena Nieto’s desk. There are several EXTREMELY unkind words about certain Conservative Author whose extreme anger at

Show Notes Episode 74: Honky See, Honky Do This week Host Dave Bledsoe goes back to his roots to discover what the hell is wrong with White People? We’ve learned we definitely CANNOT rule out inbreeding. Along the way we talk about Hillary’s big speech in Reno where she took Donny about behind the woodshed and tanned his ass with a hickory switch. We check in on the Neckbeards and Basement Dwellers calling themselves the “Alt Right” only find their Mom’s have taken their Internet connection away after Hillary told her what they little ones were up too. We blow the doors of the trope that the Angry White Men behind Trump are REALLY upset about the economy. (Hint: They’re not.) We ponder the REAL reason they might be so angry. I don’t care if a rapper said it, you still cannot! Finally we discover some very disturbing images involving a member of the show and why they protect us from being hacked. It is NOT pretty. Promotional consideration for this week’s show is from Honky Brand Crackers, Beige

SHOW NOTES EPISODE 73: “Season of the Bitch” This week Host Dave Bledsoe breaks out his special Clinton Campaign Marrying License and get’s ready to start Gay Marrying unwilling Christians before they are shipped off to the FEMA camp! Along they way, we dive deep into the unrelenting hell on Earth it will be once Hillary is elected for women EVERYWHERE, because MEN are just going to be total twats about it! You haven’t heard that much whining since the last time a sportball game was interrupted by a tornado warning! We rummage around our childhood and discover the thing that ruined it. (Hint: Maturity) We explain to all the upset man children that new movies do not erase the old one and really wonder what life might be like if we had a Proton Pack of our own to zap every whingeing twit who complains about their pathetic pop culture obsession from childhood. Except Dungeons and Dragons, that shit is COOL! We also talk about how NOT to defend your friend when you believe he is falsely accused of rape

SHOW NOTES: EPISODE 72: “Don’t Panic!” This week Host Dave Bledsoe tries to calm everyone down with some soothing music and sonorous chants he learned spending seven days in Tibet. He was not technically at a Buddhist Monastery, but in what the madam of the Lhasa cathouse assured him was a very “spiritual place”. Speaking of spirituality, we’ve decided Trump Followers are more cult members than a political movement. Here’s hoping they buy some Nikes and applesauce soon. With all the darkness and angst, we thought it best to remind of you all the reasons why a certain Tangerine Punch Bowl Turd will actually NOT be President, From his plummeting poll numbers to how very much he is hated by so many Americans. Along the way we play “This Week In Crazy Shit Trump Said” (If you have assassination on your score please claim your prize with Producer Gavin) We discuss the testicular sweat of a certain washed up retiring Yankee, and who REALLY founded ISIS. (Hint: Archer’s Mom). We also ponder what might have

Show Notes Episode 71: Someone Set Us Up the Bomb This week Host Dave Bledsoe discovers how to not stop worrying and very much fear the Bomb! He would also like someone to get this crying baby out of his studio! In the episode we find that repetition is very good, repetition is very good, as we go through the Chernobyl grade meltdown that is The Donald Trump Campaign for President. Along the way we learn about Series Finale of MASH and what do when that damn chicken just won’t stop clucking. (SPOILER ALERT: It wasn’t a chicken!) We also urge you to never go full Bullworth. Never one to duck hard hitting questions (We will usually Goose), we ponder whether the New York Post in 1809 would run a woodcut print of Dolley Madison’s nudes. (Her body, her choice! We don’t slut shame!) The question of Trump quitting the race is definitively answered, (No) and finally we tell you exactly what need to be done to Stop Trump. (Hint: Some of you aren’t going to like it at all.) Promotional Consideration provide

I’ve been accused of wearing my veteran status like a coat, which I don for political convenience. So, let me lay it aside for a moment. Let me speak instead as a member of a military family. If Donald Trump wants to know what sacrifice is, and he seems to need some education, look no further than a military family. Imagine your spouse, your parent and the hours they work, extend those by four or six hours on a normal day. Now add missed weekends and holidays, something so common that having them home is notable than their absence. The phone rings in the middle of the night and a father or mother isn’t there in the morning when you wake up. Your goodbyes ares a kiss on the head while you are sleeping. If you are fortunate, you will see them shortly, if not it may be months or ..or never. Explain to your child why Mommy or Daddy is gone, again, that is a sacrifice. Pack your life into boxes and move around the world every two or three years. Leave schools and friends behind and start over again a

This week Host Dave Bledsoe wipes the Cheez Whiz off his chest, and talks about all the doings at the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia. Along the way he courts the rage of the American Hacking Community and anyone who doesn’t like the New England Patriots, two groups you REALLY don’t want pissed off at you. We deep dive into the Conspiracies hatched by the diabolic mastermind of the of the DNC Debbie Wasserman Schultz who ranks next the Smoking Man as the most devious manipulator of Americans who ever lived. Except, you know, she really, really sucked at the secret part of secret conspiracies, Claude Rains has come back the dead to express his shock over the DNC’s bias! We also talk about why Russian MIGHT want to see a certain someone in power, even though we don’t wish anyone to infer we are even suggesting such a thing might be true. We can’t afford the legal fees. Special shout outs to our favorite Watergate Burglar G. Gordon Liddy, Tom Brady and Leonard Rodriguez from Greendale. Pr

This week Host Dave Bledsoe discovers that friendship IS actually magic as he dissects the week at the Republican National Convention, we love you Twilight Sparkle! Along the way we learn about why Rudy Giuliani is so angry (hint:because he’s an asshole) and we give Intern Chrissy Christie our lunch order (WE SAID NO DAMN CHEESE!) We also wonder how in the hell we say something nice about Ted Cruz, we feel so dirty. So very dirty. We also go into great detail about what the hell is going on in Trump’s America, because we are taking a look around and it does NOT resemble a John Carpenter movie where we live, and we live in “scary” part of Manhattan. (It’s not). You can call us Snake or you can call us Plissken, just don’t call us and say our check bounced again because we made sure the money was there! We open the show this week with monologue from Escape From New York (duh!) and close with Mike and Mechanics “Silent Running” (No, even we don’t know what this song is about). Promotional consideration

SHOW NOTES EPISODE 68: CONVENTION JUNCTION This week host Dave Bledsoe learns that Cleveland Ohio has not had a river catch fire in 47 years. But we expect all of that to change starting next week because their ain’t no party like a Republican Party cuz a Republican Party is full of white people doing a lot of very white things...and hookers. On the show this week we talk about all the people who AREN’T at the #GOPConvention, and the losers who are. We discuss what you are likely to hear from whom, and how the Benghazi nuts will bring the best show of the week! Seriously, catch those bastards, they are HILARIOUS! We also want to celebrate the Ascension of the being we know as Ted Cruz and wish him and his family a very happy Ritual of HgahNAHXtNEH! We hope that when he emerges from chrysalis in four years, his form is not one of His fifty four incarnations which cause insanity in humans! We touch on the #DumpTrump movement, on Mike Pence None the Richer and his turn as the Veep and close out the s

SHOW NOTES FOR EPISODE 67: “THIS IS NOT WHO WE ARE” This week Host Dave Bledsoe takes turns off the drops and dick jokes and talks about being a cop--no really he actually WAS a cop. This week has hit him pretty hard and in response there will be none of the usual chicanery in the show, just one guy talking about what it was like to be police, where the police are and how maybe we could all help heal after this awful week. We are not going to spend a lot of time here in the show notes going over what is actually in the show. Suffice it to say when it is over, we hope you take away something more than you usually do from listening. We hope you find a little compassion, humanity and hope. The closing music for this week’s show is by Tracy Chapman. There is no opening drop or sponsor. Hypnostate provides the music in our opening credits. The Show on Twitter The Show on Facebook The Show on Soundcloud www,whatthehellpodcast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices