Watch Your Mouth Podcast

Summary: The lads have not one but two special guests in the studio tonight!!! Billiam from Future Flicks and Snarkris of Somewhatnerdy.com from the Some What Nerdy Podcast Network! ***Don't forget you can call and leave a message swearing up shit storm for the foul-mouthed philanthropists! Calls will be aired on future episodes. Here's the number: 985-265-7726*** In the Studio: Dan Ken Critter Special Guests - Billiam and Snarfkris Cocktail du Jour: The Classic Harvard 1 1/2 oz - Cognac 1oz - Sweet Vermouth 3 dashes - Bitters Put ingredients in a mixing glass, stir with ice for a good bit. Then strain into a coup glass. (martini glass will do but meh) Garnish with a brandied cherry or a orange twist. Enjoy this cocktail with a heap of debt... Quote du Jour: Saul - This is like if that Blue Oyster shit met that Afghan Kush I had - and they had a baby. And then, meanwhile, that crazy Northern Light stuff I had and the Super Red Espresso Snowflake met and had a baby. And by some miracle, those two bab

Summary: The lads are adding to your holiday the right way, with the Zombie Game! ***Don't forget you can call and leave a message swearing up shit storm for the foul-mouthed philanthropists! Calls will be aired on future episodes. Here's the number: 985-265-7726*** In the Studio: Dan Ken Critter Cocktail du Jour: Beer of Choice Grab a beer of your choice for this round. During this episode we had Gnarly Barley's Lion Up. This beer is themed after SELU's mascot and school colors. Side note: all three of us graduated from SELU. That's right we went to college, got degrees, and now all we do with it is podcasting! LIVING THE DREAM! Quote du Jour: Boris - You can keep the ten grand, along with the body. But if I see you again, you Mother FUCKERS! Well, look at him. Boris the blade/bullet dodger - Snatch Charity: American Foundation for Suicide Prevention - afsp.org/ Links: Facebook – www.facebook.com/wympodcast Twitter – twitter.com/wymshow – @wymshow iTunes – itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/watch…d10

Summary: The lads discuss grooming. Seriously. You read that right. It's a subject that everyone can really relate to. ***Don't forget you can call and leave a message swearing up shit storm for the foul-mouthed philanthropists! Calls will be aired on future episodes. Here's the number: 985-265-7726*** In the Studio: Dan Ken Critter Cocktail du Jour: Negroni -1 oz. Gin -1 oz. Campari (a bitter liqueur -1 oz. Sweet Vermouth Add all ingredients to a mixing glass with ice. Stir a bunch. Like a whole bunch. Strain into a fresh glass. If the glass you're pouring will have ice, use a small tumbler glass. If you're not using ice, class it up a bit and used a stemmed glass like a coupe glass. If you're using a hollowed goat skull, well...do what you think is best. We won't dare tell you how to live by society's rules. Garnish with an orange twist (again, only do this if you're trying to get laid and impress someone or you're doing it to show off on social media to show those Facebook plebeians what class look

Summary: With Black Friday approaching soon, the lads decide to tackle some of the finer points of how they maneuver the retail jungle. ***Don't forget you can call and leave a message swearing up shit storm for the foul-mouthed philanthropists! Calls will be aired on future episodes. Here's the number: 985-265-7726*** In the Studio: Dan Ken Critter Cocktail du Jour: Twenty-First Century Cocktail -1.75 oz Tequila -0.5 oz. Creme de Cacao -0.5 oz. Lemon Juice -Fresh Lemon Juice Add all ingredients to a shaker with ice and shake the living shit out of it. Strain into a coupe glass or any other stemmed glass. Reflect on the 21st century and how lucky we are to have memes. Quote du Jour: Maurice the Hormone Monster - Yea huh, Mhm-hmm, thats good to know. Andrew Glouberman - Wait wha, don't write this down. Wha Are you filling out a form? Maurice the Hormone Monster - Nah, I'm just drawing a picture of a unicorn. Andrew Glouberman - Aww, you have a sweet side. Maurice the Hormone Monster - BUTT FUCKING MR.

Summary: The lads discuss some of their weight loss journeys they have gone through and provide tips and tricks on how those fat pieces of shit did it. But if you think about it, they used to be way fatter, so their advice holds water. ***Don't forget you can call and leave a message swearing up shit storm for the foul-mouthed philanthropists! Calls will be aired on future episodes. Here's the number: 985-265-7726*** In the Studio: Dan Ken Critter Cocktail du Jour: Bramble -2 oz. Gin -0.5 oz. Creme de Cassis -0.75 oz. Simple Syrup -Fresh Lemon Juice Add all ingredients to a shaker with ice except the creme de cassis. Shake it like a shake weight, but not like you're working out with one but like you're making fun of it because it's the same motion as the jerk off motion. Always so funny...anyway strain into a Collins glass with fresh ice. Slowly pour creme de cassis over the top and garnish with berries. Quote du Jour: Breacher - Don't fucking scream at me! You dumb-fuck you! Look at you with your fuck

Summary: The lads kick off the new semester by announcing their new charity and then talking about all things Halloween. Oh and lots of Terminator references since it's episode 101. If you're a Terminator fan, you'll get that joke. ***Don't forget you can call and leave a message swearing up shit storm for the foul-mouthed philanthropists! Calls will be aired on future episodes. Here's the number: 985-265-7726*** In the Studio: Dan Ken Critter Cocktail du Jour: Witch's Heart -1 oz. Apple Vodka (Or any damn vodka you want) -2 oz. Hpnotiq (or any shimmery liqueur. Now that we're looking at it, it doesn't look shimmery at all! Maybe Viniq would be better? This is what we get for going full Pinterest on this bitch! You can make your own if you feel the need to, here's the link on how you can make your own here. -1 tsp Grenadine -Powdered Dry Ice or small shavings of it from a block. Be careful with that shit. It's colder than my exe's heart. Add the dry ice to the bottom of the clear glass of your choice, a

Summary: Welcome to the 100th episode of this shit show we call Watch Your Mouth Podcast! We appreciate the constant support from listeners like yall which is how we managed to make it to this milestone. This episode we read your comments throughout the semester, play the voicemails you left and of course, go over your epic Zombie Game responses! Here's to another 100 episodes! ***Don't forget you can call and leave a message swearing up shit storm for the foul-mouthed philanthropists! Calls will be aired on future episodes. Here's the number: 985-265-7726*** In the Studio: Dan Ken Critter Jess Cocktail du Jour: Champagne - Bottle after bottle after bottle Get lots of cheap champagne (or sparkling white wine if you want to be a dick about it) and just drink that shit. We have a hangover drink in this episode, but we got drunk and forgot how to make it. Listen to the episode for the recipe. Quote du Jour: Car Rental Agent - You know I cant cook. (laugh) Neal - (Clears throat) Car Rental Agent - Yeah we

Summary: The lads talk about some of their favorite and most hated sounds with special guest Dave! Dave is a music producer who works with some really bad ass people. Listen to the show and hear some of the name drops. It's actually pretty awesome! ***Countdown to Episode 100 is in full swing! Don’t forget to call and leave us a message swearing up shit storm! Calls will be aired on Episode 100. Here’s the number: 985-265-7726*** In the Studio: Dan Ken Critter Special Guest - David Troia Cocktail du Jour: The Old Hickory - 1.25 oz. Dry Vermouth - 2 oz. Sweet Vermouth - 4 Dashes of Orange Bitters - 3 Dashes of Aromatic Bitters Add all ingredients into a mixing glass with ice. Stir like a shit ton. So about 25-35 times. Strain into a double rocks glass and add ice. Garnish with an orange twist. They can be a pain in the ass, but they look nice. But you could use that time to drink more. Up to you. Quote du Jour: Romeo - (Coughs) Murphy - This is our Mexican. Doc - They call me... FUCK... ASS! Romeo -

Summary: These young kids today have no idea how good they have it! The lads discuss some old school stuff they had to deal with back in their day. Like Dial-up internet and non HD TV. ***Countdown to Episode 100 is in full swing! Don’t forget to call and leave us a message swearing up shit storm! Calls will be aired on Episode 100. Here’s the number: 985-265-7726*** In the Studio: Dan Ken Critter Special Guest - Rachel Fry Cocktail du Jour: Classic Jack Rose - 2 oz. Applejack Brandy - 0.75 oz. Lime Juice - 0.75 oz. Grenadine Add all ingredients into a shaker with ice. Shake it like Taylor Swift shaking off the immense amount of hate she gets a on a daily basis, which is a lot so shake that shit hard. Strain into a coupe glass or stemmed cocktail glass. Garnish with a lime wheel and explain to people how there was enough room on that door for both Jack and Rose at the end of Titanic. Quote du Jour: Jason - You got to try these fingerling potatoes, with the salmon and the creme fresh. I am telling Fu

Summary:  The lads discuss some of the more enjoyable routines that are part of their daily grind that makes the day bearable. ***Countdown to Episode 100 is in full swing! Don’t forget to call and leave us a message swearing up shit storm! Calls will be aired on Episode 100. Here’s the number: 985-265-7726*** In the Studio: Dan Ken Critter Cocktail du Jour: Mexican Firing Squad - 2 oz. Silver Tequila - 4 Dashes Aromatic Bitters - 0.75 oz. Lime Juice - 0.75 oz. Grenadine - Top with Soda Add all ingredients into a shaker with ice, besides the soda of course, unless you like cleaning up a big foamy mess.. Shake it like Andre 3000 shaking a Polaroid picture; this however, serves a purpose unlike shaking a Polaroid picture, that does jack shit.. Strain into a Collins glass with ice and top off with soda and stir. Garnish with a lime wheel.  Quote du Jour: Johnny Brennan - So what do you want us to do? Tony Scarboni - We thought you might have some more colorful ways to make him more agreeable. Like some o

Summary: The lads are back from Midterm break and are heading back to school to revisit one of the most awkward subjects in ever taught...Sex Ed. ***Countdown to Episode 100 is in full swing! Don't forget to call and leave us a message swearing up shit storm! Calls will be aired on Episode 100. Here's the number: 985-265-7726*** In the Studio: Dan Ken Critter Cocktail du Jour:The Blood and Sand - 0.75 oz. Scotch (or any kind of whiskey...we won't judge you) - 0.75 oz. Cherry Liqueur - 0.75 oz. Vermouth - 0.75 oz. Orange Juice Add all ingredients into a shaker with ice. Shake it like a British nanny shaking a baby. Strain into a Coupe glass, or hollowed out skull...whatever. Finally, garnish with a brandied cherry. Quote du Jour: Columbus - The truth is, I was always a little phobic. I found lots of things disturbing. Like under tow or department store Santas. Being alone with a baby. But the thing I fear more then, YES even more then Zombies! Fucking Clowns! Columbus - Zombieland Charity: Wildlife

Summary: The lads head into the midterm break with a new round of the Zombie Game! This semester we hope to get more entries from you, the listeners, because frankly the responses are fucking awesome! ***Countdown to Episode 100 is in full swing! Don't forget to call and leave us a message swearing up shit storm! Calls will be aired on Episode 100. Here's the number: 985-265-7726*** In the Studio: Dan Ken Critter Jess Cocktail du Jour: Harvey Wall Banger - 2 oz. Vodka - 0.5 oz. Galliano L'Autentico - 4 oz. Orange Juice Add all ingredients to a Collins glass and add ice, then stir 25-35 times. Or just a few. You do you boo boo. Garnish with a lemon wheel or orange twist. Drink 4 or 5, get super drunk, legally change your name to Harvey, then bang your head on the wall. Party hard! Quote du Jour: Sgt. James Doakes - Suprise Mother Fucker! Sgt. James Doakes - Dexter Charity: Wildlife Conservation Network: www.wildnet.org/ Links: Facebook – www.facebook.com/wympodcast Twitter – twitter.com/wymshow – @w

Summary:The lads hang around in the Doctor's waiting room reading old magazines, avoiding that one person who can't stop coughing, and discuss some of their experiences with medical professionals. ***Countdown to Episode 100 is in full swing! Don't forget to call and leave us a message swearing up shit storm! Calls will be aired on Episode 100. Here's the number: 985-265-7726*** In the Studio: Dan Ken Critter Jess Cocktail du Jour: Painkiller - 2 oz. Rum - 4 oz. Pineapple Juice - 1 oz. Orange Juice - 1 oz. Cream of Coconut - Nutmeg Add all ingredients to shaker with ice and shake the shit out of it. Strain into a hurricane glass or snifter, or whatever the hell you want. Hollowed out monkey skull...sure. You could use that too. Garnish with freshly grated nutmeg or nutmeg from a spice jar. Both work, but don't skip this! It's key to the flavor. Add pineapple wedge to really make it look all nice and shit. Quote du Jour: Julia - The main thing I would like to add is that on HBO. You can say fuck. And

Summary: The lads revisit some more of their most embarrassing stories. Apparently Critter has some issues with locked doors. Listen to the show, you'll see what we mean. ***Countdown to Episode 100 is in full swing! Don't forget to call and leave us a message swearing up shit storm! Calls will be aired on Episode 100. Here's the number: 985-265-7726*** In the Studio: Dan Ken Critter Cocktail du Jour: Gibson - 1.5 oz. Gin - 0.5 oz. Vermouth - Cocktail Onions Stir the gin and vermouth together with ice and strain into one of those goddamned impractical triangle martini glasses. Then garnish with an albino testicle (cocktail onion). Quote du Jour: Vance - Lately your work performance has been.... a little off. Tom - I'm not following. Vance - OK um, here is something that you wrote last week. "Roses are red, violets are blue... Fuck you, whore!" Vance and Tom - 500 days of Summer Charity: Wildlife Conservation Network: www.wildnet.org/ Links: Facebook – www.facebook.com/wympodcast Twitter – twitter.co

Summary: The lads talk about some of the most annoying tropes in movies and television. ***Countdown to Episode 100 is in full swing! Don't forget to call and leave us a message swearing up shit storm! Calls will be aired on Episode 100. Here's the number: 985-265-7726*** In the Studio: Dan Ken Critter Cocktail du Jour: The Gimlet -2.5oz Gin -.5oz Lime Juice -.5oz Simple Syrup (You can sub out the last two ingredients for something like Rose's Lime Juice. It's the same kinda shit) Combine all ingredients in shaker and strain into a cocktail glass and fight off scurvy in the most delicious/boozy way! Quote du Jour: Malcolm Tucker - Tucker’s Law: “If some cunt can fuck something up that cunt will pick the worst fucking time to fucking fuck up because that cunt’s a cunt!” I’ve got that embroidered on a tea-towel at home! Malcolm Tucker - The Thick of It Charity: Wildlife Conservation Network: www.wildnet.org/ Links: Facebook – www.facebook.com/wympodcast Twitter – twitter.com/wymshow – @wymshow iTune

Summary: The Lads/Lady... Jess are back with Semester 10 and the Gum Tracks are flowing! Also a new challenge has been made for our WYMPS, so listen in can check it out. In the Studio: Dan Ken Critter Jess Cocktail du Jour: El Diablo -1.5oz Tequlia -.5oz Creme de Cassis -.5oz Lime Juice -Add Ginger Beer Quote du Jour: Microphone Burger Baron - Still waiting on that Heifer, Julio Scarface - Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, and fuck you, I'm out! Microphone Burger Baron and Scarface - Half Baked Charity: Wildlife Conservation Network: www.wildnet.org/ Links: Facebook – www.facebook.com/wympodcast Twitter – twitter.com/wymshow – @wymshow iTunes – itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/watch…d1065059804?mt=2 Sound Cloud –@watchyourmouthpodcast Stitcher – www.stitcher.com/podcast/watch-your-mouth-podcast Spreaker – www.spreaker.com/show/watch-your-mouth-podcast Merchandise – www.cafepress.com/wymmerch

Summary: The lads wrap up Semester 9 in their traditional fashion, popping some champagne and reading some of their favorite comments, posts, and contributions from you, the listeners (WYMPS? We're thinking that could be a cool name for listeners. Do you agree?) In the Studio: Dan Ken Critter Cocktail du Jour: Champagne - 1 Bottle - Then another. - And another. - And so on... Pop the cork out that bitch and start drinking. If it starts foaming out of the bottle immediately, continue to shake the bottle more with your thumbs over the hole yelling "FARVA'S NUMBER ONE!!" It's fun. Trust us. Quote du Jour: Les Grossman - This is Les Grossman, who is this? Flaming Dragon Hench man - THIS IS FLAMING DRAGON!! Les Grossman - First, take a big step back... and literally, FUCK YOUR OWN FACE! Les Grossman and Flaming Dragon Henchman - Tropic Thunder Charity: Songs For Kids Foundation: www.songsforkids.org/ Links: Facebook – www.facebook.com/wympodcast Twitter – twitter.com/wymshow – @wymshow iTunes – itunes.appl

Summary: The lads reveal some of their biggest fears. Not just fears, but irrational fears. Because let's face it, if you're afraid of snakes or walking a tightrope above the Grand Canyon, those are totally normal fears. In the Studio: Dan Ken Critter Cocktail du Jour: Adios Mother Fucker - 1 oz. Gin - 1 oz. Light Rum - 1 oz. Vodka - 1 1/2 oz. Blue Curacao Liqueur - 2 oz. Sweet and Sour Mix - 1 oz. Sprite Shake all the booze parts in a shaker with ice. Pour into a glass with ice and top with Sprite. Kiss your ass goodbye. You know because it's called "Adios Mother Fucker" and all. Quote du Jour: Barry: Y' GO FUCK YOURSELF! Dean Trumbell: oh y-... [clears throat angrily] Dean Trumbell: yo-... FUCK [lowers tone] Dean Trumbell: did you just saaay go fuck myself? Barry: [nervously] ... yes, i did Dean Trumbell: That wasn't good, you're DEAD! Barry and Dean Trumbell - Punch-Drunk Love Charity: Songs For Kids Foundation: www.songsforkids.org/ Links: Facebook – www.facebook.com/wympodcast Twitter – twitter

Summary: The lads welcome the summer with some of their best memories of summer. Plus, they make a shocking and frankly, haunting discovery about Jess. In the Studio: Dan Ken Critter Special Guest: Jess Callac Cocktail du Jour: Bug Juice - 4 Parts Absolut Mandarin - 2 Parts Passoã - 7 Parts Pineapple Juice Just mix all ingredients together with ice. It's kind of a party style booze drink, so serve in a crystal punch bowl if your fancy as fuck, or mix in a giant Gatorade container if you don't give a fuck. Quote du Jour: Coop: Do you really love Katie? Andy: Not really. Coop: Because I really love her man. And if you have one ounce of decency. you will do the right thing and let her go Andy: No way! Coop: No way? Andy: Fuck no dude, she's hot. In fact, fuck off. Coop: I will not Fuck off. Your making a really big mistake buddy. Because that women is not your play thing Andy: Coop, seriously fuck off. Sick of talking about this with you. Coop: GOD! Coop and Andy - Wet Hot American Summer Charity: Song

Summary: The lads bid the WYM Studio a fond farewell. Time to move on. They also talk about the act of moving and toast goodbye with some Larry's. In the Studio: Dan Ken Critter Special Guest: Jess Callac Cocktail du Jour: Corpse Reviver #1 & #2 #1 - 2 Parts Cognac - 1 Part Apple Brandy - 1 Part Sweet Vermouth Stir with ice and strain into a chilled cocktail glass. #2 - 3/4 oz. Gin - 3/4 oz. Lemon Juice - 3/4 oz. Cointreau - 3/4 oz. Lillet - Dash of Absinthe (or you can rinse your glass with it) Shake ingredients together with ice. Strain into a chilled glass. These fuckers were the old school answers to hangovers. Much like the Zombie or any other hair of the dog potions. Quote du Jour: Wrigley: Yeah. Do you... Do you have a, uh, green salad? Nero's Waitress: What the fuck color would it be? Wrigley and Nero's Waitress - Intolerable Cruelty Charity: Songs For Kids Foundation: www.songsforkids.org/ Links: Facebook – www.facebook.com/wympodcast Twitter – twitter.com/wymshow – @wymshow iTunes – i