Watch Your Mouth Podcast

In the Studio Today: Dan Critter Ryan Summary: This just in, Ryan has returned! Dan talks more on X-men: Apocalypse about upcoming movies for this week, and Ryan plans to open a grocery store! Cocktail du Jour: Krakow Salt Mine: In a Rocks glass - - In a Collin's glass w/ ice: - Eq. parts vodka, ginger beer, apple cider - Garnish with apple slice Quote du Jour: Veronica Corningstone - For the entire Channel 4 news team, I'm Veronica Corningstone. Ron Burgundy - And I'm Ron Burgundy. Go fuck yourself, San Diego Veronica Corningstone and Ron Burgundy - Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy Intro/Outro music from Haggis Rampant's new album, "Burly!" Swear tally: $14.40

In the Studio Today: Dan Critter Special Guest - Eric Martin Gay Summary: "This is Getting a Little Odd:" Back from the break! The lads Bounce Castle has returned, Dan unveils a few new flicks, and read some of the entries this semester's Zombie Game. Also Special Guest - Comic book artist and creator, Eric Martin Gay, shares with us "Little Odd"! Cocktail du Jour: Sazerac: In a Rocks glass - - in an Old Fashioned glass: - swirl and dump a 1/2 oz absinthe/herb-saint - muddle sugar cube with a few dashes of Peychauds (sp?) bitters - add ice - add 1.5 oz rye whiskey - garnish with lemon zest Sip while reading comics! Don't forget to turn the page and wash your hands! Quote du Jour: Ari Gold - "Fuck you plant. Fuck you 20" screen! Fuck you stupid fucking balcony! " Asshole Neighbor - "Shut the fuck up!" Ari Gold - "FUCK YOU THE MOST!" Ari Gold - Entourage Intro/Outro music from Haggis Rampant's new album, "Burly!" Swear tally: $20.80

In the Studio Today: Dan Ken Critter Michael Summary: "Blood in the break room:" The lads get their last few licks in before the semester break, Dan unveils a few new flicks, and everyone outlines their survival plans for this semester's Zombie Game. Cocktail du Jour: Melon Ball In a Collins glass: - 1.5 oz "melon liq..." oh, who the fuck are we kidding? MIDORI! - 1 oz vodka - splash of orange or pineapple juice Sip whilst waiting for your blood to return Quote du Jour: "Nobody fucks with the Jesus" Jesus Quintana (registered offender) - The Big Lebowski Intro/Outro music from Haggis Rampant's new album, "Burly!" Swear tally: $22.00

In the Studio Today: Dan Ken Critter Summary: "Happy Anni-FUCKIN-versary!" The lads discuss their worst film/tv pet peeves, Dan covers the new DOOM, and an ice cream concoction gets compared to a reality tv show. Cocktail du Jour: Bellini In a champagne flute: - 2 parts prosecco - 1 part peach puree/nectar Sip with jubilation! Here's to another year! Quote du Jour: "FUCKIN WHAT the FUCKIN, Fuck! Who the fuck? FUCK this fuckin... How did you two fuckin... fucks... FUUUCK!! Rocco - Boondock Saints Intro/Outro music from Haggis Rampant's new album, "Burly!" Swear tally: $33.20

In the Studio Today: Dan Ken Critter Summary: "Hungover at the meeting, thinking about the seashells." The lads discuss their preferred dystopian future, Critter recaps the highlights from visiting the House of the Mouse, and Dan unleashes some new titles. Cocktail du Jour: Zombie In a Collins glass: - 3/4 oz Dark Rum - 3/4 oz Light Rum - 3/4 oz Gold Rum - 1/2 oz Cherry Brandy - 1 oz sweetened lemon juice - garnish with cherry Sip quietly... slowly... don't draw any undue attention... this goddamn meeting's almost over. Christ, Greg, can you breathe any fuckin' louder?! Quote du Jour: Pepper: "You should pull that out. That shit is not cool." Frank: "Wait...wait... pull what out?" Pepper: "The DART, man! You've got a fuckin' dart in your neck!" Frank (laughing): You're...you're crazy man. You're crazy! I like you... but you're crazy! I'm so tired..." Frank the Tank and Pepper the animal handler - Old School Intro/Outro music from Haggis Rampant's new album, "Burly!" Swear tally: $21.80

In the Studio Today: Dan Ken Michael Ryan Summary: Knock it off, death! The lads discuss the passing of a music icon, honor him with a special cocktail, and Ryan introduces his own new musical projects Cocktail du Jour: Purple Rain In a tall glass: - 45 mL Smirnoff - 20 mL Sour Raspberry Liqueur - 20 mL Blue Curacao - 5 mL Lime Cordial - 180 mL Cranberry Juice Cocktail Sip, and think about life. "Electric word, 'life,' that means 'forever,' and that's a mighty long time..." RIP Quote du Jour: -"Mornin'!" -"Mornin'!" -"Mornin': best time o'day to go FUCK yerself!" - Mr. Hearst, Johnny, and Dan Dority - Deadwood Intro/Outro music from Haggis Rampant's new album, "Burly!" Swear tally: $11.30

In the Studio Today: Dan Ken Critter Jess Summary: Semester 5 syllabus episode! The crew shakes the rust off and fires up their dirty mouths for this semesters recipient, the Clean Water Fund. Dan talks about 2 upcoming films, Critter tells us how to make coconut water bad for you, and Ken deepens Dan's equinophobia using Celtic mythology. Cocktail du Jour: the Pirate Tea Bag In a tall glass: - add a generous squeeze of lime - muddle a few mint leaves - add ice - 1 shot Captain Morgans - top off with coconut water Pairs well with that cigarette after your morning run. Quote du Jour: "Hey, here's the deal: when life gives you lemons, just say 'fuck the lemons' and bail!" - Surfing instructor, Forgetting Sarah Marshall Intro/Outro music from Haggis Rampant's new album, "Burly!"

In the Studio Today: Dan Ryan Critter Jess Michael Summary: Our last episode fucking cancer over with the Cancer Research Institute! Closing out our 4th Semester with a big crew and lots of craziness. Topics are: Learn how to pimp slap, SML: Favorite Commercials, Sandbox games with Early access, and Easter Stories gone wrong! Cocktail du Jour: French 75 As per Ryan's description: 2 oz champagne 1/2 oz lemon juice, 1 - 1.5 oz gin, and a dash of simple syrup Quote du Jour: Chester: Ted, what do you think of that tasty beverage? Ted the Bellhop: It's quite good sir. Chester: No, no, no! It's *Fucking* good. Now let's do that again. Ted, what do you think of that tasty beverage? Ted the Bellhop: It's *Fucking* good sir!! -Ted the Bellhop and Chester, Four Rooms Intro/Outro music from Haggis Rampant's new album, "Burly!"

In the Studio Today: Dan Ken Critter SomewhatNerdy(.com)'s own Chris Talbot Summary: The lads are joined by nerd-in-chief Chris Talbot to discuss Batman Vs. Superman, in-home virtual reality, and several colorful ideas for unboxing videos Cocktail du Jour: Boooooooze! In a large container - 3/4c orange juice - 3/4c tangeringe juice (can be found right behind the unicorn piss extract) - 1 packet orange Kool-Aid/Flavor Aid - 1 packet tangering Kool-Aid/Flavor Aid - 1 spoonful lemonade mix - 1 3/4c sugar - green food coloring Since you can't find fucking tangerine juice anywhere, look for either tangerine rum or some whackadoo concoction from Ocean Spray or some shit Quote du Jour: "Yo, assholes! This muthafucka's dead. Ain't no Chris Angel Mindfreak, David Blaine trapdoor horseshit jumpin' off here!" - Lazarus, Tropic Thunder Intro/Outro music from Haggis Rampant's new album, "Burly!"

In the Studio Today: Dan Ken Jessica John G Special Guest: Dreux Blalock Summary: We came, we saw, and survived Coast Con 39! Special Guest Dreux Blalock is back! Listen in for all the convention highlights and see if you are a winner of a "Big Bag of Fuck No"!!!! Cocktail du Jour: Blood of the Masses- (DISCLAIMER - ONLY DRINK THIS! DO NOT MIX DRINKS) 1 - Gatorade Container 1 - Bag of Ice 4 - Tall containers of Kool Aid Fruit Punch mix 4 - fifths of Vodka 2 - 4 packs of Red-bull 1/2 - Gallons of water Re-animator Fluid- (DISCLAIMER - ONLY DRINK 2 GLASSES) 2 - fifths Ever-clear 4 - gallons of Green Gatorade 1 - bag of ice 1 - pack of glow sticks 1 - Hotel trashcan Quote du Jour: Ellerby: I'm gonna go have a smoke right now. You want a smoke? You don't smoke, do ya, right? What are ya, one of those fitness freaks, huh? Go fuck yourself. -Ellerby , "The Departed" Intro/Outro music from Haggis Rampant's new album, "Burly!"

In the Studio Today: Dan Ken Michael Critter Summary: The boys talk crazy drink recipes, Die Hard Fit, and Favorite Arnold Action flicks! Dan's Arcade talks about upcoming movies and games! Also Ryan's cocktail gets a name... Cocktail du Jour: Atomic Jager Bomb - 1 Shot of Jägermeister dropped into a high ball glass of Four Loko The Gruber - Pour a shot of Jägermeister form a 30 story building to a person below. ***DO NOT DO THIS*** (Watch Your Mouth Podcast does not recommend this!) Quote du Jour: Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Private Pyle I'm gonna give you three seconds; exactly three-fucking-seconds to wipe that stupid looking grin off your face or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull-fuck you! Gunnery Sergeant Hartman - Full Metal Jacket Intro/Outro music from Haggis Rampant's new album, "Burly!"

In the Studio Today: Dan Ken Ryan Critter Summary: The guys are loopy in this one... Ryan has a panic attack about GERMS! Ken gives the gut check. More Deadpool and Ken hasn't seen it yet!!!! WTF! Dan's Arcade of course talking about our favorite DOS based games. What is your most terrifying fictional villians? Cocktail du Jour: Blue Marlin 1/2 oz Blue Curaco 1 1/2 Coconut Rum (Dark Rum recommended) 2oz Sweet Sour Mix (Not sauce!) Add Orange Juice to your liking. Quote du Jour: Aussie Sailor #1: "What do ya say mate?" Aussie Sailor #2: "I think we should fuckin' BRAIN'em!" -Aussie Sailors, "Beerfest" Intro/Outro music from Haggis Rampant's new album, "Burly!"

In the Studio Today: Dan Ken Ryan Critter John G Special Guest: Dreux Blalock Summary: This episode is wet as shit with Pre Coast Con madness! Fan liaison Dreux Blalock visits us to give us low down on everything Coast Con 39 has to offer. Dan's Arcade: DEADPOOL GO FUCKING SEE IT and Far Cry Primal. What annoys the shit out of you? Also the winner of the zombie game! Cocktail du Jour: ??? Name that Cocktail! Here are the ingredients: - 1 1/4 silver tequila - 1/2 shot Apple pucker - 1/4 shot melon liquor - 2oz cranberry juice - 1oz Sprite/7up Quote du Jour: Harmony: "Well, for starters, she's been fucked more times than she's had a hot meal." Harry: "Yeah, I heard about that. It was neck-and-neck and then she skipped lunch." -Harmony Faith Lane and Harry Lockhart , "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang" Intro/Outro music from Haggis Rampant's new album, "Burly!"

In the Studio Today: Dan Ken Michael John G Summary: "Foam and Glory: The lads compare their childhood Nerf gun arsenals... and their survival plans for the Zombie Game: "The Print Room." Cocktail du Jour: Tequila Sunrise In a tall glass with ice: - 6 parts Orange Juice - 3 parts Tequila - 1 part grenadine Mix the Tequila and OJ. Pour the grenadine in last, letting it sink to the bottom and give the cocktail it's signature look. Sip and try to get that goddamn song out of your head. Quote du Jour: Malcolm: "Hey, fetus boy! Lesson one: I tell you to fuck off, what do you do?" Toby: "Um... 'f' off?" Malcolm: "You'll go far! Now FUCK OFF." - Malcolm Tucker and Toby Wright, "In the Loop" Intro/Outro music from Haggis Rampant's new album, "Burly!"

In the Studio Today: Dan Ken Critter Ryan Summary: "So... I'll call you?" The lads discuss their worst dating experiences, the upcoming release of Deadpool, and what they'd do with a sudden influx of Jordan Belfort-level cash (BESIDES hookers and coke, of course). Cocktail(s) du Jour: 1. The Bulldog In a glass with ice: - 1.5 parts Cherry Brandy - 1 part Gin - 1 squeeze of lime Sip and bask in pure astonishment that the bartender didn't take "Bulldog" to mean: 2. The Colorado Bulldog In a glass with ice: - 2 pts Vodka - 2 pts Kahlua - 1 pt cream - 1 pt coke Get angry because you actually ordered the first one, but chill out as soon as the flavor hits you. Quote du Jour: Alex: "Hey, Timmy. Any chance I can crash on your couch tonight?" Timmy: "Why? So you can jerk off on MY mom?" Alex: "JEFF'S A FUCKIN' LIAR, TIMMY!" - Alex and Timmy, Grandma's Boy Intro/Outro music from Haggis Rampant's new album, "Burly!"

In the Studio Today: Dan Ken Critter Jess Summary: "Red faced and shrinking:" the lads share their most embarassing stories from grammar/high school, review some new movie trailers, and Jess shows up for the second half! Cocktail du Jour: The "Larry" - Spiced Rum - (diet) Orange Soda Mix in a glass with ice and INSIST that the bar name it after you. Quote du Jour: "Alright, Hector, here's the gameplan: you're gonna bring us two Absolut martinis - you know how I like 'em, straight up - and exactly seven and one-half minutes after that you're gonna bring us two more and then... two more after that every five minutes until one of us passes the FUCK out." - Mark Hanna, The Wolf of Wall Street Intro/Outro music from Haggis Rampant's new album, "Burly!"

In the Studio Today: Dan Ken Critter Paul L Ollie Summary: "... and then everything went to shit." The lads discuss moments of relentless fuckups, the new Suicide Squad trailer, and to never tangle with an ill-tempered dik dik Cocktail du Jour: Fuzzy Navel In a glass with ice, pour equal parts: - Orange juice - Peach Schnapps Quote du Jour: Gibson: "You should clone yourself." Drucker: "Why's that?" Gibson: "So you can FUCK yourself!" Intro/Outro music from Haggis Rampant's new album, "Burly!"

In the Studio Today: Dan Ken Critter John G Summary: We did con... hard! The lads recap their favorite moments from Wizard Con, roll the compiled audio interviews, and get buzzed on bubbly. Cocktail(s) du Jour: 1. Jack and Coke (hereinafter referred to as a "Lemmy") - 1 fuck-ton of Jack Daniels - a whisper of Coca-Cola (optional) Chug whilst editing the school magazine. 2. Champagne - champagne - glass Sip, swear, and celebrate. Quote du Jour: "What the fuck is the internet?" - Jay, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back Intro/Outro music from Haggis Rampant's new album, "Burly!"

In the Studio Today: Dan Ken Ryan Critter Michael John G Summary: Happy Fuckin' New Year! The lads discuss bacon, the first time they remember swearing, and Dan recaps the past year in gaming. Cocktail(s) du Jour: 1. The Revenant - 3 oz Blk Vodka - 3 oz Chambord - 3 oz Cranberry juice - Lemon & Lime juice - Dry Ice Carefully layer the vodka, Chambord, and Cranberry Juice. Throw in the citrus juice to taste, then add the dry ice. Sip quietly, pray for Leo, and snuggle up in your favorite animal corpse. 2. The Scrapper (who comes up with this shit?) - 1 oz Blue Curacao - 3 oz Peppermint Schnapps - 3.5 oz Monster Zero (blue) - 1 oz Jäger Pairs nicely with a bowl of the last bit of three different kinds of cereal and non-dairy creamer reconstituted with tap water Quote du Jour: "This is what happens when you FUCK A STRANGER IN THE ASS!" - Walter Sobchak, The Big Lebowski Intro/Outro music from Haggis Rampant's new album, "Burly!"

In the Studio Today: Dan Ken Ryan Critter Paul Summary: Last show of the 2015! Ken asks what do you laugh so hard at you can't breath! Dan's Arcade is SPOILER FREE for Star Wars and other movies coming out the week of Christmas. Ryan also adds to Dan's Arcade with some cool game recommendations. CRITTER IN THE HOUSE! Also Paul is in the house! Cocktail(s) du Jour: 1. Ruby Slipper Shot: - 1 oz Crown Royal - 2 oz Sprite - Splash of grenadine. Fill a shot glass three-quarters full with Crown Royal, and with grenadine. Fill any large glass with Sprite. Drop the shot glass into the Sprite and drink everything. 2. Ruby Titty In a (nicer) glass with ice: -3 oz Crown Royal -4 oz Sprite Fill a shot glass three-quarters full with Crown Royal, and with grenadine. Fill any large glass with Sprite. Drop the shot glass into the Sprite and drink everything. Quote du Jour: Carl Hanratty: "Would you like to hear me tell a joke?" Earl Amdursky: "Yeah. Yeah, we'd love to hear a joke from you." Carl Hanrat