Ross O'carroll-kelly @ The Irish Times

Lauren, the new Lady Managing Director of Hook, Lyon and Sinker, thinks I have a problem taking orders from women. Which is complete horseshit, of course. I worked behind the bor at the annual Foxrock Golf Club Ladies Foursomes event for seven years in a row and took thousands of orders from women. Mostly for gin and tonics. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

I walk into the office to discover that all of my most treasured possessions have been stuffed into a cordboard box, which is sitting on my desk. We’re talking my ‘That’s Leinstertainment’ travel mug. We’re talking my 13 letters of censure from the Property Services Regulatory Authority. We’re talking my signed photograph of Richie McCaw (“To Ross,” it says. “You could have been one of the all-time greats,” words which still bring a tear to my eye, even though I told him specifically what to write). See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Hennessy and the old man have bought Hook, Lyon & Sinker, but the way Hennessy’s talking, it’s not looking like yours truly is their first choice for managing director See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The annual Iron Stomach Contest is as much a part of UCD life as wearing your schools rugby jersey for the first 10 weeks of first year and experimenting with your sexuality by getting off with people who didn’t go to fee-paying secondary schools. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

My daughter is doing a Closet Purge for her vlog. A purge with a difference – it’s Sorcha’s closet and there’s petrol involved See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The old man asks me for my thoughts on the Budget – like it affects me somehow?“What Budget?” I go. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

If you’d told me, when I was, like, 16 years old, that one day I’d end up literally working for a living, I would have asked you, well, what was the point of playing rugby in the first place? See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

It’s like Honor’s had some kind of, I don’t know, personality transplant? See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The fourth and final exclusive excerpts from 'Operation Trumpsformation', the seventeenth novel in Paul Howard's 'Ross O'Carroll-Kelly' series. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The third of four exclusive excerpts from 'Operation Trumpsformation', the seventeenth novel in Paul Howard's 'Ross O'Carroll-Kelly' series. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The second of four exclusive excerpts from 'Operation Trumpsformation', the seventeenth novel in Paul Howard's 'Ross O'Carroll-Kelly' series. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The first of four exclusive excerpts from 'Operation Trumpsformation', the seventeenth novel in Paul Howard's 'Ross O'Carroll-Kelly' series. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Ross and Sorcha find something suspicious – but they’re the ones in trouble See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Ross manages to throw the most unwanted birthday party of all tim See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The HSE have paid Ross a visit, but it takes him a while to figure out why See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

First day in ‘actual Mount Anville’, but the last thing Honor needs is a chaperone See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

“Now,” she goes, “when I give you the injection, I want you to count backwards from 20.”I’m like, “Twenty?” and I can hear the fear in my own voice. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The old dear might be ‘entitled’ to free travel, but that doesn’t mean she wants it See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Some quick thinking is required of Ross to bail Ronan out of trouble – again See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Oisinn goes, “Yeah, you’ve been sitting there all night with a face on you like the Long Mile Road. Why did you even come out? You should have stayed home and watched Love Island.” See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.